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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

HILLARY CLINTON SEZ: CAPTION ME!


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AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! My eyes! I think I've gone blind!

Jeannine Pirro
"Why yes! I have my Hilldo in this bag right here! Why do you ask?"

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Are those archived secret documents in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

The Probie
Um...

"Bush drowned and hundreds frowned!"

er I think that's it...

Why yes, I'm much more available than my husband, the President of Intern Relations. When do you want to meet up? Gee, you're hot, by the way, more than Bill, I say.

Kommander Kenneth
Do I detect eyeliner and lipstick?
It must be a trick of the light.


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"Can ya believe it? The chump actually asked me if I wanted to be his Vice President."


 
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