If you wanna hang out you've got to get on out, campaign
If your poll numbers down, down with your crowd, campaign
Tell more lies, no dry eyes, alibis, campaign

If they're bad reviews, you wanna change the news, campaign
When your race is won and still wanna run on, campaign
Tell more lies, no dry eyes, alibis, campaign

If all hope is gone and you wanna try more, campaign
Don't forget this fact, you won't get it back, campaign
Tell more lies, no dry eyes, alibis, campaign

Tell more lies, no dry eyes, alibis, campaign

If you're hairline's gone, but you wanna Don Juan, Rogaine
Don't forget this fact, you can grow it back, Rogai-

But no, Comrades this is not what the Karaoke is for; to sing of decadent Western concerns for staving off appearance of old age. No, I must concern myself with Cube approved topics

If you're a KGB lout, you've got to take her out ... Ukraine
If opposed by a clown, put boots on the ground .. Ukraine
She won't like, she won't like, she won't like ... Ukraine

Now I've got good news, you're opposed by buffoon .. Hussein
When all's said and done, he'll cut and run ... Ukraine
I don't lie, I don't lie, I don't lie ... Ukraine

When you're empire's done, but you wanna re-run ... Ukraine
Don't forget this fact, West won't fight back ... Ukraine
I won't lie, I won't lie, I won't lie ... Ukraine

"Pitiful Tonight"

It's late into my term; world's wondering what will I bare.
Assad kills his own people, America does not care.
The media asks me, "Will you put up a fight?"
And I say, "No, I'll draw “red lines” and I'll lie."

Vlad invades Crimea, all the world turns to see
What will the US, do that will stop this scene.
And then they ask me, "Will you help Ukraine's fight?"
And I say, "No, I'll put sanctions on, in time."

I look pitiful because they see
The weakness in my eyes.
And the pity of it all
Is that they just all realize how soft I am, too.

It's time to go home now, I've got a swollen head,
So I turn in golf-cart keys, Michelle tucks me in bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, I am pitiful tonight.
Oh my darling, I look pitiful tonight."