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No Jihad Tonight

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Sung to the tune of "No Sugar Tonight" by the Guess Who.



(I know, that's Bang's version, but you get the idea)

Jihad leader loves to hide
Get stir crazy, go outside
Armed UAV, overhead
Hellfire Missile, means he's dead

No Jihad tonight for Alwaki
No Jihad tonight for Aziz
No Jihad tonight for Al-Shari
No Jihad tonight for Nazir

na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa

Jihad leader, full of rage
But is stranded, in Middle Age
Allah helps him, stokes his fits
Til a missile, blows him to bits

No Jihad tonight, for Al-Rahman
No Jihad tonight, for Saeed!
No Jihad tonight, for Kashmiri,
No Jihad tonight, for Maulvi!

na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa
na na-na naaaaa

etc...


This one is so nice, we must do it twice
(Now with small updates due to exciting new developments)

Paranoid feeling, deep inside
Find a tunnel, where I can hide
Snarling Shepherd, hounding me
Sudden brightness, but I can't SEE!

No jihad tonight for Awlaki
No jihad tonight for Aziz
No jihad plans for BAGHDADI
No jihad fun for me

Dat'n doo bow wow, dat'n doo dow
Dat'n doo bow wow, No! No!
Dat'n do bow wow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do bow wowww!

Plotting violence in his mind
Culture's lagging far behind
Faith In Allah clouds his eyes
Now he's sailing through the SKIES!

No jihad tonight for Alwaki
No jihad tonight for Aziz
No jihad plans for Baghdadi
No jihad fun for me

Dat'n do bow wow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do bow wow, No! No!
Dat'n do bow wow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do bow owww!

And here, Comrades, is video of original Guess Who song ….. now featuring grooveskaya, electricheskaya pinkskaya, dancing devotchka



I do believe grooveskilly dancink devotchka is arousing my slumbering Muse. I will now attempt "New Mother Nature Taking Over" portion of song. If I may have a musical bridge, please ...

ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ching
da DO da do doo (tat) ... da DO da do doo .. (tat).

Ahmed says "relax" but I don't believe him
When we talk about our raid today
He hasn't got the brains or the guts to lead us
And he's getting in everybody's way
I'm tripping out now in the cave I live in
I believe that things aren't going well
I sense things are wrong and it won't be long
Before things are all blown to hell

Cause it's the new model UAV banking over
It's the new Hellfire missile come to call
It's the new model UAV flying over
She's getting us all; she's getting us all

Ahmed said "Duck!" when it came back this time
It's looking like it's near the end
No use wailing at the vapor trail
It's clear we're betrayed by a friend
A smoke filled cave in the Hindu Kush
The situation wasn't right
A deafening roar and a flash of light
We're going to Allah's Virgins tonight!

Cause it's the new model UAV banking over
It's the new splendid missile come to call
It's the new model UAV flying over
She's getting us all; she's getting us all

Paranoid feeling .. (Ahmed says "relax" but I don't believe him)
Deep inside ........ (When we talk about the raid today)
Find a cave ......... (He hasn't got the brains or the guts to lead us)
Where I can hide . (And he's getting in everybody's way)
Silent Predator .... (I'm tripping out now in the cave I live in)
Stalking me ........ (I believe that things aren't going well)
Sudden brightness (I sense things are wrong and it won't be long)
But I can't SEE! ... (Before THINGS are all blown to hell)

Cause it's the new model UAV flying over
It' the new splendid missile come to call
It's the new model UAV taking over
She's gettin us all; she's gettin us all

Side B -- AMERICAN WARTHOG (Is updated to "American War Dog" in honor of Redacted)



American War Dog gonna mess your mind
American War.Dog gonna mess your mind
Oooh, American War Dog gonna mess .. your .. mind
Say A .. say M .. say E .. say R
Say I .. say C .. say A ... say N

AMERICAN WAR DOG!! .. stay away from me
American War Dog, Wallahi let me be
Don't come growling around my door
I don't wanna hear your panting no more
I got more important things to do
Than have my leg getting gnawed by you
Now War Dog, I said stay away
American War Dog, listen to what I say

American War Dog, get away from me
American War Dog, Wallahi let me be
Don't come snarling around my door
Don't wanna see your shadow no more
Tunnel runs can traumatize
Horror in a young jihadi's eyes
Now War Dog, I said get away
American War Dog, listen what I say

American War Dog, said go away
American Canine, listen what I say
Don't come snarling around my door
Don't wanna see your fangs no more
I don't need your Seal Team strike
I don't need your unclean bite
Snapping jaws can traumatize
Horror in a young jihadi's eyes
Now War Dog, get away from me
American Dog, Wallahi let me be

All praise and glory and honor to DDR Kamerad for discovering Guess Who as wellspring of boundless cheese and lyrical mischief. A most equal discovery.

THESE FLIES



These flies
Buzzed my corpse all night for you
This swarm
Could not protect me from the blast
The hurtin's on me; but Allah's wrath is on thee, oh my jihadi
You vowed to keep secrecy
You spoke it, you spoke it (Oh, no)

These flies
Watched the drone bring my world to an end
This swarm
Saw my carcass bloat and distend
The Virgins with me, but ALLAH's wrath is on thee, Oh Mujahid
You vowed the silence with me
But they broke you, they broke you

These flies .. are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you
These flies .. are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you
These flies .. ARE SWARMING!
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you

These flies
Buzzed my corpse all night for you
This swarm
Could not protect, protect me from the blast

These flies are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you
These flies are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you
These flies .. ARE SWARMING!
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
like the kind that was done by you ...

A small tribute to the passing of an "austere religious scholar" who specialized in creating vivid illustrations of the Quran's teachings about eternal punishments for non believers

Go down two posts for updated version of "No Jihad Tonight"


 
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