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Flabby Road (Groucho & Lennie)

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This exercise in lyrical cruelty was inspired by KG3 director Big Fur Hat's equally sadistic photoshop of the Flab Four (Barney Frank, Janet Napolitano, Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor) crossing Flabby Road. Also taking hits are Rosie O'Donnel and Michael Moore

SIDE I

A TON TOGETHER

Here come ol Big Sis
She come ... waddling in slowly
She want ... Belgian waffle She one ... roly poly
She got ... butter melting on the plate
Got to reach for syrup, she just make it taste great
Ton together.. sat down ... next to me

She scarf no health food
She got .. grape jam donut
She lick ... sticky fingers
She shoot ... Coca Cola
She say, "I know you, you owe me"
One thing I can tell you is the second plate's free
Ton together .. sat down ... next to me

She bag for Sonia
She save ... cream filled donut
She stow ... pork link side dish
She put .. cheese on cracker
She got ... folds down below his knees
Hold her on a truck scale you can feel her unease
Ton together ... sat down .. next to me

She gross obeser
She got ... doctor's warning
She feel crushing feeling
She needs de ...fribillator
They push ... one and one and one, then breathe
Got to be a goner cause there's no pulse to see
Ton together ... sat down ... next to me

SOMETHING

Something in the ways she chews
Attracts me like no other chubber
Something in the way she coos
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now

Somehow as she dines she knows
That she don't need no other feeder
Something in her eyes that glows
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now

You're asking me will her butt grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around and it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she grows
And all I have to do is cook for her
Something about my weighty Sonia
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now

MIKEY'S SILVER PLATTER

Rose was ravenous, her capacity was cavernous
Dieting in the home
Late night all alone with the ice cream, oh-oh-oh-oh
Michael Moore again, pretending to be poor again
Calls her on the phone
Can you take me out to the IHOP, Ro-o-o-ose
But as she's getting ready to roll, a knock comes on the door
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter came down on her head
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter made sure he was fed

Back at the buffet again, Mikey grabs a tray again
Manager get annoyed
Wishing to avoid a bankrupting sce-e-e-ene
She tells Mike to stay, not to grab another tray
So he parks his behind
Muttering fifty times, "I must get that ho-o-o-oh!"
But when she turns her back on the toad
He creeps up from behind
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter came down on her head
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter made sure he was fed

Vegas 31, says we got a scruffy one
Mikey's cuffed alone
Making loud intestinal noises Oh-oh-oh-oh
Rose and Barney Frank, feeding at the Mandalaynk
Say he must be fed (Mikey must be fed)
The sergeant disagrees and he tells them so-oh-oh-oh
But as he 's busy filing reports, a noise comes from behind
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter comes down on his head
BANG! BANG! Mikey's silver platter makes sure he was fed

OH HARDEE'S

Oh Hardee's, please believe me
I'll never sue you for harm
Believe me when I tell you
I'll never sue you for harm

Oh Hardee's, if you feed me
I'll pay for the stent on my own
Believe me when I tell you
Don't ever leave me alone

When you told me, you wouldn't feed me anymore
Well you know, I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me, I couldn't get a Super Thick Monsterburger * anymore
Well you know, I nearly fell down .. and died
*(1406 calories)

Oh Hardee's, if you feed me
I'll replace the knee on my own
Believe me when I tell you
I'll never sue you for harm

When you told me, you wouldn't serve me breakfast anymore
Well you know, I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me, I couldn't get sausage biscuits in gravy anymore
Well you know I nearly fell down and died

Oh Hardee's please believe me
I told my lawyer to stand down
Believe me when I tell you
I'll never SUE YOU FOR HARM!

LOCAL OLIVE GARDEN

I'd like to feed, with fat Rosie
At a local Olive Garden in the shade
They'd squeeze us in, like sardines in tin
At the Local Olive Garden in the shade

I'd have Mike Moore for company
At an Olive Garden with me
I'd like to feed .. in ways frenzied
At the local Olive Garden in the shade

Breadsticks are warm, served by the swarm
As our growing butts are spread across the chairs
Make it our goal .. max "Pasta Bowl"*
At the local olive garden, we're depraved
*(All you can eat Pasta Bowl)

We would drink and act like juves
Because we know .. we can't be moved
I'd like to spree .. on gluttony
At a Local Olive Garden in the shade

We would shout .. and drink like louts
As waiters bring us more food by the tray
Oh what joy for gaining girls and boys
Knowing we're gassy and we're gay

We would feed so happy, Rose and me
No one there to tell what not to chew
I'd like to feed .. with fat Rosie
At a Local Olive garden near you
At a Local Olive garden near you

I WANT EWE

I want ewe .. I want ewe so ba-a-ad
I want ewe .. I want ewe so bad
Not dining on lamb, not dining on lamb

I want stew ... I want stew so bad
I want stew ... I want stew so bad
It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad

I want gnu ... I want gnu so bad
I want gnu ... I want gnu so bad
They're thinking me mad, they're thinking me mad

I wont chew .. I wont chew no fat
I wont chew ... I'l bolt it so fast
It's giving me gas, it's giving me gas
Feel so .......... HEAVY! ... heavy, heavy, heavy
Feel so .......... HEAVY! Feel so heavy, heavy heavy

I feed you .. I want you so fat
I feed you ... I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats

I feed you ... You know I want you so fat, ROSIE! I feed you ... You know I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats
Ye-e-e-e-e-e-ah!
She's so .... (Cue 3-minute, intestinal-rumbling sound effect)

HERE COMES THE TUMS

Here comes the Tums ... Here comes the Tums
And I say ... It's all right

Little Barney, it's been a long, laborious feeding
Little Barney, it seems like years since you sat down
Here comes the Tums ... Here comes the Tums
And I say .. It's all right

Little Barney, I see the smile return to your face
Little Barney, it seems like years since you've breathed clear
Here comes the Tums ... Here comes the Tums
And I say ,, it's all right

Tums, Tums, Tums ... here it comes
Tums, Tums, Tums ... here it comes
Tums, Tums, Tums ... here it comes
Tums, Tums, Tums ... here it comes
Tums, Tums, Tums ... here it comes

Little Barney ... I hear your wind is loudly breaking
Little Barney ... it seems the cafe is starting to clear
Here comes the Tums ... Here comes the Tums
And I say ... It's all right

BECAUSE

Because the brats are browned ... it turns me on
Because ... the brats ... are browned
Because the women made pie ... it blows my mind
Because .. the women .. made pie (AaaaaaaaaaH)
Food is all .. food is new
Food is all .. food is you
Because there's ice cream, too ... It makes me sigh
Because ... there's ice ... cream, toooo (Aaaaaaaaaaah.... )

THE "SEE FOOD" MEDLEY

YOU NEVER GIVE ME YOUR HONEY

You never give me your honey
You only give me those yummy wafers
And in the middle of the mastication ... I break down
I never give up my Cinnabons
I never lighten my situation
And in the middle of an ambulation .. I break down
Out of nachos, money spent
See no pizza, no more sent
All the joints are closed noone to phone
Early morning munchie attack
Monday morning, hunger pangs wrack
Domino's is closed noone to phone
But oh, that famished feeling .. noone to phone
Oh that famished feeling ..... noone to phone (noone to phone)
(A-a-a-a-a-a-aa-a-a-a-a-a-aa-ugh .... A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aa-a-a-a-a-ugh)

One sweet ring! ... Go out the door, get in the limousine
Soon, you'll be gaining weight my dear
Scarf up a piece and wipe that smear away
One sweet dream .. got chewed.. today
Got chewed, today ... It's chewed, today (Yes it was, ha ha haa ha ha ha haa ..)
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 .. all good children pig out in heaven
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 .. all good children pig out in heaven
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 .. all good children pig out in heaven ......

TUMS KING/CREAMED YELLOW CUSTARD/POLYSACCARIDE JAN/ SHE CAME IN THRU THE DRIVE UP WINDOW

... Here comes the Tums king ... Here comes the Tums king
Everybody's relaxing, everybody's happy .... Here comes the Tums King
Quantos para nachos mi 'smores por attaque corazon
Muchos pepperonis mi amores chica nuggets parasol
Ingesto avocado Napolitano que can eat it caramel

Creamed yellow custard drips from her mouth
Falls on her shirt, trying to stuff her face
Eats in a ravenous way
Slavering for a Vegas buffet
Keeps the other patrons at bay
Such a lean Kagan (lol lol lol, lol lol lol)
Such a lean Kagan (lol lol lol, lol lol lol)
Big Sister Jan works a donut shop, she never stops
She's a dough gobbler
Give her one that's filled up with cream
Only one that she's ever seen
Her muffin top just has to be seen
Such a weighty old Jan .. weighty old Jan

Well you should see Polysaccharide Jan
Her face so bloated that she looks like a man
Well, you should see her in drag; looks like a polysacc hag
Well you should see Polycacc Jan
Get a dose of her in jackboots and kilts
She's killer filler when she's gorged to the hilt
Well, she's the kind of a girl to wolf a caramel swirl
So you could say she's not attractively built (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

(lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol; Oh Look out!)
She came in thru the drive up window!
Protected by her tortilla shell
But now she stuffs her face in wonder
At her place in a Taco Bell
Didn't anybody help her; didn't anybody see
Sonia's on the phone to Wendy's
Kagan's phoning KFC

She said she's always been a gainer
She worked on fifteen subs a day
And though I did my best to restrain her
Well I knew what I could not weigh
And Sonia quit the Jenny Craig system
And turned herself into a sweaty blob
And though I tried my best to stop her
She would chew what she could not gnaw
Didn't anybody help her; Didn't anybody see
Sonia's on the phone to Wendy's
Kagan's phoning KFC!! (Oh Yeah)

GOLDEN ARCHES/BUY HER A SHAKE/THE END

Once there was a weight to fit those blue jeans
Once there was a weight to spare that hose
Eat, pretty darling, do not cry
And I will supersize those fries
Golden Arches fill your eyes
'Smores await you with your pie
Eat, pretty darling, do not cry
And I will supersize those fries

BOY! You're gonna BUY HER A SHAKE!
BUY HER A SHAKE! .. with those fries
BOY! you're gonna BUY HER A SHAKE!
BUY HER A SHAKE! with those fries

I never give you willpower ... I only provide the instigation
And in the middle of a creamed libation .. you break down

BOY! You're gonna BUY HER A SHAKE!
BUY HER A SHAKE! with those fries
BOY! You're gonna BUY HER A SHAKE!
BUY HER A SHAKE! with those fries

OH YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
Are you gonna wolf that ice cream .. tonight
(Cue triumphal Ringo Starr drumstick solo)
Love food, love food, love food, love food
Love food, love food, love food, love food

And in the end ... the grub you take
Is equal to the butt
You will make

Oh, Jenny Craig's a pretty nice girl
But I haven't saved enough to pay
Oh Jenny Craig's a pretty nice girl
But she charges from day to day
You tell me that I need her a lot
And I have to get myself on the ball
Oh Jenny Craig's a pretty nice girl
Today I'm gonna give her a call, Oh yeah
Today I'm gonna give her a call ...

User avatar
Ahhhh no doubt too much rye ergot in your dark bread comrade. Let us know when you get back from your trip. Still most equal work...

Explanation for remaining posts. This post was originally the "Sea Food Medley" of Flabby Road, which I then incorporated into the first, super-lengthy megapost. I drew a blank on "Octopus' Garden", for reasons that are elucidated below, and was ably assisted by Comrade Director Groucho Marxist's ideas which are displayed in the next two posts

And in the true spirit of collectivism, even though his contributions were a mere 5% of the lyrics, I was obliged to give him full and equal credit for the song; so that all credit outcomes could be equalized thru Marx our lord, Amen

User avatar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUYdQDd ... re=related


I'd like to eat with Rosie
At the Olive Garden Cafe today
Squeeze us in, Like sardines in tin
At the little table by the way
Ask Micheal Moore for his company
At Olive Garden Cafe with Rosie
I'd like to eat with Rosie
At the Olive Garden Cafe today

Breadsticks are warm served by the swarm
As our growing butts spread across the chairs
Getting us fed on all the bread
At the Olive Garden Cafe today
We would sink and spread around
'cause we know we're bigger around
I'd like to eat with Rosie
At the Olive Garden Cafe today

We would eat and drink like louts
The waiters bring us more food on trays
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing we're happy and we're gay
We would be happy me and Rosie
No one there to tell us we can't screw
I'd like to eat with Rosie
At the Olive Garden Cafe today
At the Olive Garden Cafe today
At the Olive Garden Cafe today

User avatar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_qu0t4 ... re=related


I feed you
I want you so fat
I feed you,
I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats.
I feed you
I want you so fat Rosie
I feed you,
I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats.
I feed you
I want you so fat, Rosie
I feed you,
I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats.
I feed you
I want you so fat
I feed you,
I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going bats ...
She's so heavy heavy, heavy, heavy.

She's so heavy
She's so heavy, heavy, heavy

I feed you
I want you so fat
I feed you,
I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats.
I feed you
You know I want you so fat Rosie
I feed you,
You know I want you so fat
I'm going moonbats, I'm going moonbats.
Yeh!

She's so...

As Comrade Director Groucho is fully aware, I am regarding Ringo Starr lyrics, not to mentioning drum solos, in same way that blind Wahhabi cleric is regarding The Gospels and the Torah -- as wholly unwarranted and impermissible corruptions of the original holy scriptures. (Baroomp CHING!) This is being source of difficulties with Ringo Starr songs

So I welcome Comrade Groucho's completetly equal contribution to this humble tribute to unbounded appetities and waistlines of members of Inner Party. This is why title has been changed to give Comrade Groucho equal credit -- after all, we are not capitalists here at the Karl Marx Treatment Center.

Now, before guards are coming to drag me, kicking and screaming, back to my cell I just want to announce -- we are performing "Flabby Road" at the beet sorting shed starting this Chetveer and continuing on till the following Vtorneek. So thank you all for coming and enjoy your potato peel salad. And as always, be sure to make nice tip for borscht sever

User avatar
Comrade CallmeLenin, er Callmelennie you are much too kind to give me half and first billing in your opus magnus work... I'm am certain there is at least an undersecretary position for you in the future here. Of course it will require my continued rehabilitation and being restored to my former gloryplace of equality. I'm certain I'll be released any day now. I will remember this act of unmetigated kindness and humility on your part.



Where are the royalities being sent and can they be kept in cash?



Again.. Thank you for both your unequaled talents and humility.

Yours in Marx


Groucho Marxist.

I will take Comrade Presidente up on his challenge. Don't know if this is my best -- it is my longest; even when you consider the completely equal contributions of Comrade Director Groucho


 
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