Complaint: Harassment of federal government employees.
Statement of complaint: Ever since this office (Government Complaint Department) opened we've received numerous complaints from elected public officials and government service providers verbally harassing this office that we're never open in order for them to complain about their respective customers. Said harassment has caused many Government Complaint Department employees nervous distress disorders and post traumatic stress disorders.
Civil liabilities and criminal actions should be taken. We definitely want a follow-up call from the office about this!
Now you listen to me. I'm not going to take any crap from you. You get on the stick and do your job.
I took over this here town so we could throw them ding dang ranchers off of their land and build the railroad through. Er, I mean build the sustainable energy company through. I thought I'd stole all the deeds to the ranchers land fair and square but my phony baloney mayor of the town chickened out. He went running.
We got a ding dang railroad, er I mean we got a ding dang sustainable energy thing-a-ma-bob, to build through this here town. Them Chinese got all-a them chinaman coolies standing by so the chinamen can get to work. It's costing them millions a day!
I took over the town but I can't fix the judge. You guys at the Complaints Department better protect all our phony baloney jobs and put the pressure on the courts. Just do it. The railroad, er I mean the energy company's, got plenty of money to spread around.
Get us them deeds and that right of way!
Harry "Black Bart" Reid