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An equal distribution of rank and titles for our Commissars

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We have a serious problem of inequality going on here Comrades. We have been progressively making new Commissars and Inner Party(TM) members, but they are standing around doing NOTHING. It's like having a union job, only... ok it's just like having a union job. But even union members have ranks and titles. So many of our dear and beloved Inner Party(TM) members are lacking even that, while capitalist swine go around with more titles than dead seabirds on a Louisiana beach.

THEREFORE, as Commissar of Time, (and one of those burdened with more titles than the medals on an African general's uniform) I am calling on those Inner Party members who demand their fair share of rank and recognition to present their argument, and for the collective whole to help in the appointment of titles and ranks.

Some have taken basic rank, some have taken none. Most are do nothing Commissars bloating up the system. Where is our Commissar of Deep Water drilling? Who is our Direktor of Vodka Rationing? Where is our Non Resident Migrant Worker Secretary? I demand answers!

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I am willing to join the struggle for inaction against this social injustice. If there is any credit given I will gladly share in the sacrifice of my brothers and sisters. Count me in.

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It is with great joy that I accept the honor of "Hero of the Russian Federation" along with the numerous other entitlements I will be accepting. To honor the honor I shall continue being conspicuous.
Hero_of_the_Russian_Federation.jpg

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I've been operating with a temporary title for months, lest Sister Massively Opiated comes back to claim it. And in the case that she does come back to claim it, then I am reduced to being the lowest of the lowest of a gulag scullery maid. I say there's still racism here at the gulag. Where is my affirmative action! Where is my preferential treatment? Where is my presidency?

No, just kidding, but really, I don't feel right about stealing a title from a comrade who has seniority, for goodness sakes.

Comrade People's Comrade,

That medal would be fine, if you took the blue out.

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Leninka, I too did wonder about the "red, white and blue" wisdom but I did not wish to question the Russian Federation's choice of colors. What the Federation gives, the Federation can take away and I do not wish to give up my extra Vodka rations that accompany Heroism.

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I've already taken position at the commissar of People's training aids, video games, and hypnotic TV devices. The only other titles I will take is of butt kicking or Colombian neck-tie salesman.

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Comrade People's Comrade. Until such time as you are elevated in rank, Leninka will have to hold that medal I'm thinking.

Meanwhile, it is true. Leninka is simply holding our dear SMO's title.

I nominate Leninka for Commissar of Affirmative Action, Czar of Equality, and Second Secretary of the Housecleaning Directorate.

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Is proletariat dancer inspector available?

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I would never expect special treatment but would simply remind those concerned of my vast snapshot collection of compromising activity, which of course will remain concealed unless absolutely necessary. We would not want to lose any Inner Party members now would we. (and yes, a bigger apartment could aid in my forgetfulness)

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From each according to ability and to each according to need.

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Colonel, you have spoken Truth™ and wisdom in your words.

Being a newly inducted member of the Inner Party™, I took on the promotion to Lieutenant in the Soviet Militsiya (мили́ция) with the responsibility to The Party™ that comes with such, of course.

Though, as has been mentioned by yourself and referenced in my show trial with Buffoon and Chedoh, I have been Special Weapons Czar to The People™, yet have not been officially dubbed as such. I believe that it would be most equal, as the owner of the original People's Rifle™, People's Knife™, and Fondler of Soviet Arms to distribute this title to me along with any others the Commissariat should see fit.

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I dub thee, I dub thee... Someone has to take up the torch of purveying The People's Rifle(TM), and since you now own the original prototype and I'm so busy with my timekeeping duties... I haven't purveyed People's Rifles, or ran the Revolutionary Red Guards ever since I got handed this funny clock and the keys to a wormhole.

Anything else; well that's up to The Party(TM)

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And for those that did not witness it, behold the People's Knife™: https://thepeoplescube.com/post96149.html#96149

Presented, of course, with the Original People's Rifle™ and The People's Cola™.

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HELLO COMRADES!!!!! Fill me in on details. Will be willing to send in all available "illegals" (spys that is, not lawn cutters), to find root of problem. Will make sure all negative views will be dealt with. Remember, too much government cheese can lead to bad digestion. Be moderate. Hail Red Square and Comrade Whoopie!!!!. Remember once a day to hear the interpretation of great patriotic song "Katushya" by Red Army Chorus (available on Main Enemy web site You tube). It refreshes the struggle! And good for digestion. Better than prones!

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Seeing as I am a history perfesser and thus a pedantic, hide-bound, knee-jerk, theoretical ideologue with neither the time nor patience to try to resolve the conflicts of Socialist Theory and reality (and I am convinced, convinced, comrades, that reality is in fact at fault in this dichotomy, as theory cannot possibly be wrong--in extremis, I must fall back on blaming the weak vessels through which theory is outpoured as being unworthy of the Truth first realized by Marx and Engels, but I would rather simply blame the Proles for their unthinking acceptance of the lies fed to them by the criminal capitalist military industrial complex that sits in the mainstream of the Weltgeist's inexorable progress like a boulder that diverts the masses from their true understanding of the Socialist Whole of their being and induces them to consistantly vote against their class interests, resulting in a sloppy system of personal choices and the wasting of both valuable resources (which of course have been scientifically proved to be wasted much more efficiently in Socialist systems) and the labors of the working masses that could far more productively be placed at the dispoosal of government officials, who by their superior conciousness, would lead the masses to the boulder and attack it with the Pickaxe of Ideological Purity and the Shovel of Rational Collectivism to result in a post-racial world in which the privileged (predominantly White) classes would be subject to the justice inherit in a centrally planned economy through the redistribution of wealth from the "have" to the "have not" until all are in the reciprocal class, at which point equity will have been established and an equilibirum struck between the dynamic forces of "class," "culture," and "transnational conciousness" best summed up in Marx's immortal pronouncement "Ich will die Krankenschwester mit ein tischbein geschlagt.") I think this sums up my qualifications for the title "Party Academician" nicely, but I will need a promise of immediate tenure and a research stipend.

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Leninka, I know of such troubles as you are to be of expressing.

What about me??? Is it not to be all about ME???!!!

I have all of the underwives to be of supervising and that is to be making for me to be of the deserving kind for many of the medals. Allllllahhhh!!! Barack H. Obama!!! There is none other of the persons who has to be of so much of responsibility of so many of husbands chattel as to me... and let us not to be forgetting of the Misha who is always in the need of the very good supervising because he is always to run off to the beet fields to be of back up on Fraulein Pulloskies. And then he is always forgetting to bring for me the Current Truth™ so I am to be made to be looking like I am not to be knowing of anything. And did I not to be sending the Misha to be of the service to the Chedoh when he was sent to the Gulag for rehabilitation? Such kindness in my heart and no one is to be taking of any of the notices.

And then I am to also be of dutiful to my country peoples in assisting husband of recruiting the young peoples for making of the good ticking clocks but always he is to be of the choosing of the dummy childrens who can not even learn of such simple things. Hmmm... I should be getting of the medal just for having to be putting up with the husband! Sometimes I am to be of opinion the Frau is of the good luck to have made such terrible mistake with the mushrooms.....

And who can be of the forgetfullness that I am to be the distributor of the good Mooslim milk for The Childrens™ !!! I live my life for The Childrens™ !!

And am I not always to be of readiness to be of teaching of the Mooslim ways so all can be of good ejukashun??

So much is my duties and yet not one name has been of being deposited on my good karakter.

And then there is to be of so much confusion because I am of the Mooslim kind. Everyone is to be thinking of me as being of the mens kind when I am of the womens kind!! AKKKK!!! Can no one to be seeing how pretty I am with my rougey cheeks and pouty lipsticked mouth?

And shopping!!! I must be doing of the good shopping so I can be of the blending into the evil kapitalistic Amerikkkan ways so as to not be having so much of the attention onto myslef because then I will be threatened by the vile Teabagger peoples. And no one is to be forgetting that I have been of the good seemstress kind and also of the good hatmaking person and making for so many of the hats for the enjoyment of all The Peoples™ .

I am not to be getting any of the respect I am to be of deserving.

I want my titles!!

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Seeing as I am a history perfesser and thus a pedantic, hide-bound, knee-jerk, theoretical ideologue with neither the time nor patience to try to resolve the conflicts of Socialist Theory and reality (and I am convinced, convinced, comrades, that reality is in fact at fault in this dichotomy, as theory cannot possibly be wrong--in extremis, I must fall back on blaming the weak vessels through which theory is outpoured as being unworthy of the Truth first realized by Marx and Engels, but I would rather simply blame the Proles for their unthinking acceptance of the lies fed to them by the criminal capitalist military industrial complex that sits in the mainstream of the Weltgeist's inexorable progress like a boulder that diverts the masses from their true understanding of the Socialist Whole of their being and induces them to consistantly vote against their class interests, resulting in a sloppy system of personal choices and the wasting of both valuable resources (which of course have been scientifically proved to be wasted much more efficiently in Socialist systems) and the labors of the working masses that could far more productively be placed at the dispoosal of government officials, who by their superior conciousness, would lead the masses to the boulder and attack it with the Pickaxe of Ideological Purity and the Shovel of Rational Collectivism to result in a post-racial world in which the privileged (predominantly White) classes would be subject to the justice inherit in a centrally planned economy through the redistribution of wealth from the "have" to the "have not" until all are in the reciprocal class, at which point equity will have been established and an equilibirum struck between the dynamic forces of "class," "culture," and "transnational conciousness" best summed up in Marx's immortal pronouncement "Ich will die Krankenschwester mit ein tischbein geschlagt.") I think this sums up my qualifications for the title "Party Academician" nicely, but I will need a promise of immediate tenure and a research stipend.
But wouldn't reciprocating the two classes simply put us back at the beginning, thus creating a never-ending cycle of of both classes fighting for the top spot? Wasn't that the point of Marx's thesis of class-struggle, or at least post-Marxian ideology of class-struggle? As highlighted in the book 1984, the middle class recruit the lower class, overthrow the upper class, the old middle becomes the new upper, the old upper becomes the new lower, and the old lower join the new lower class. Vis a vis, wouldn't it be a lot easier on everyone if we are to practice a Marxian/communistic society to simply say everyone is of one class, none can rise, none can fall? There are no leaders, no beggars, only people working for the betterment of the entire society as a whole, even if that means sacrificing a few lives for the betterment of everyone as a whole, for the Common Good?

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Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:I am not to be getting any of the respect I am to be of deserving.

I want my titles!!
Mrs. Al Czarweary,
People's day-care provider
Mooslim milk distributor
and seamstress

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But wouldn't reciprocating the two classes simply put us back at the beginning, thus creating a never-ending cycle of of both classes fighting for the top spot? Wasn't that the point of Marx's thesis of class-struggle, or at least post-Marxian ideology of class-struggle? As highlighted in the book 1984, the middle class recruit the lower class, overthrow the upper class, the old middle becomes the new upper, the old upper becomes the new lower, and the old lower join the new lower class. Vis a vis, wouldn't it be a lot easier on everyone if we are to practice a Marxian/communistic society to simply say everyone is of one class, none can rise, none can fall? There are no leaders, no beggars, only people working for the betterment of the entire society as a whole, even if that means sacrificing a few lives for the betterment of everyone as a whole, for the Common Good?


Thank you, Comrade Elliott, for posing a thoughtful and rational question. I have reported your "F" for the class to the registrar, so there is no longer any need for you to attend class. Your former classmates may note from your experience that any deviation from the position advanced by the professor represents unacceptable behavior. And may I point out, the use of a double "L" and a double "T" in your name is a bougeoise affectation and is depriving other comrades of the use of those letters.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Seeing as I am a history perfesser and thus a pedantic, hide-bound, knee-jerk, theoretical ideologue with neither the time nor patience to try to resolve the conflicts of Socialist Theory and reality (and I am convinced, convinced, comrades, that reality is in fact at fault in this dichotomy, as theory cannot possibly be wrong--in extremis, I must fall back on blaming the weak vessels through which theory is outpoured as being unworthy of the Truth first realized by Marx and Engels, but I would rather simply blame the Proles for their unthinking acceptance of the lies fed to them by the criminal capitalist military industrial complex that sits in the mainstream of the Weltgeist's inexorable progress like a boulder that diverts the masses from their true understanding of the Socialist Whole of their being and induces them to consistantly vote against their class interests, resulting in a sloppy system of personal choices and the wasting of both valuable resources (which of course have been scientifically proved to be wasted much more efficiently in Socialist systems) and the labors of the working masses that could far more productively be placed at the dispoosal of government officials, who by their superior conciousness, would lead the masses to the boulder and attack it with the Pickaxe of Ideological Purity and the Shovel of Rational Collectivism to result in a post-racial world in which the privileged (predominantly White) classes would be subject to the justice inherit in a centrally planned economy through the redistribution of wealth from the "have" to the "have not" until all are in the reciprocal class, at which point equity will have been established and an equilibirum struck between the dynamic forces of "class," "culture," and "transnational conciousness" best summed up in Marx's immortal pronouncement "Ich will die Krankenschwester mit ein tischbein geschlagt.") I think this sums up my qualifications for the title "Party Academician" nicely, but I will need a promise of immediate tenure and a research stipend.

Nah, you're just sayin' that.

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You, Red Square, are merely jealous of my ability to compose a complex and multi-faceted argument in a single, paragraph-length sentence. You would be even more impressed to hear me say it out loud in class while staring intently at the top of my desk and jerking my head forward and backward to emphasize the points I'm making. Sometimes I throw in finger-quotes if I'm feeling really "on" that day.

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Ivan Betinov wrote: Thank you, Comrade Elliott, for posing a thoughtful and rational question. I have reported your "F" for the class to the registrar, so there is no longer any need for you to attend class. Your former classmates may note from your experience that any deviation from the position advanced by the professor represents unacceptable behavior. And may I point out, the use of a double "L" and a double "T" in your name is a bougeoise affectation and is depriving other comrades of the use of those letters.
Hooray! I don't have to attend class anymore! Also, I had to steal those extra letters because otherwise I'd of been sued by the ghost of T.S. Eliot. I figured, don't let the two L's overpower the lone T, so, steal another T.

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Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size. To be honest (and in all modesty) nothing really seems adequate.

However I understand the need. When you look at the many Generals surrounding Kim Jong Il they're all festooned with medals and awards while comrade Kim is conspicuous in his lack of adornment. I notice the People's Director likewise eschews pretentious titles, as did Lenin and Mao. Stalin and the other post war Soviet leaders were content with a single medal on their jacket.

So it is incumbent on us to don as much bling as possible to distinguish ourselves as loyal cronies and lackeys beholden on the good graces of the boss.

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Perhaps this will help to clear up the ranking criteria and boost the brainstorming process.

FOUR STAGES OF SPIRITUAL SHOVEL ENLIGHTENMENT

(Developed between Pinkie, Red Square, and Sister Massively Opiated)

Stage 1: Shovel-Ready
(awareness of the shovel, but not of its purpose beyond the act of shoveling)

Stage 2: Shovel-Conscious
(awareness of the purpose of shoveling on a purely ideological level)

Stage 3: Shovel-Sharp
(Party ideology has been internalized and is no longer even considered - orders are simply acted upon by proles who keep their shovels sharp as a matter of both competence and dedication to the cause, not to mention a deeply ingrained sense of self-preservation.)

Stage 4: Shovel-Unconscious
(having reached a level of competence where you become a danger to the party and so someone who is Shovel-Ready is enlisted to whack you with their shovel, and then use it to bury you for the error of you ways.)

------------------------------
In terms of achieving various spiritual planes, Pinkie has this important clarification:

If certain of you comrades achieved shovel awareness, then you wouldn't find yourselves always stuck on the least desirable plane--shovel whacked.

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I am calling on those Inner Party members who demand their fair share of rank and recognition to present their argument, and for the collective whole to help in the appointment of titles and ranks.

THIS IS LONG PAST DO SO I HAVE GREAT THANKFULNESS TO YOU FOR BRING UP SUCH MATTERS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.

Titles have been unequally distributed with equal unfairness and I must denounce it!

I will have to get back to you with what I consider to be an appropriate, befitting Title for myself, but I was pondering Lordess of Denouncements (for ONE) although, I do remember a lovely Title Comradess Leninka bestowed upon me not long ago... I will have to find where I jotted of such down. And then I must grant final approvals on "blingness" and grandness of any such Title for bestowments. oh, this is all so exciting, is it not!!

Now we will all be equally Titled (although, some might have more equableness, I do not wish for anyone to be jealous of my aggrandizements, endowments or head ornamentations) I will get back to you with most quickness of efficiencies.
Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size. To be honest (and in all modesty) nothing really seems adequate
MR. COMRADE WHOOPIE, MIGHT'N I SUGGEST TO GET DRESSED AND CONTINUE YOUR WORK ON THE OBAMOA AGENDA!

Loyal Comradess Mrs. Al Czarweary - might I make suggestion for appropriateness of Title. Head of UnderWives , for we're all of knowledge of your number oneness of wifery. This must be acknowledge... along with other aggrandizements, of course, which we ALL have.


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I want to be the Commissarka Most Equal. Also, I want to be Czarina of Shovels and Vodka; and be known by the taglines, "Always Correct on the Issues That Matter" and "Raising Awareness of How Much I Care."

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size.

I too have wasted a day in front of my mirror applying Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion®.

I am still rough all over but... I digress.

I respectfully request the title Commissar Commissaress of Coiffures. (If that title is currently in play may I be permitted to use Tramp Stamp Trotskyite?)

putout-mirror1.jpg

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I have it:

ah hummm:
"Commisarka of the Current Truth & Ever Changing Rules
High Imperial Commisarka of Denouncements and Overseers of Endowments"

Oh yes, I think that's veryimpressive nice. Now to order 1000 5000 cards, stationery, tshirtery, pens, and lets see, ummm, what else . . . .

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I have it:

ah hummm:
"Commisarka of the Current Truth & Ever Changing Rules
High Imperial Commisarka of Denouncements"


Oh yes, I think that's veryimpressive nice. Now to order 1000 5000 cards, stationery, tshirtery, pens, and lets see, ummm, what else . . . .
Stress-toys
Tote bags
Post-it notes
Monogram towels (and all other towel types)
Window peels

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Comrades,

I know that I have been away for some time, on Party ™ business of course, but I find this discussion quite intriguing. If equality of all is the goal, then titles should and must be distributed equally among the people.

If they have not been taken, I would wear the titles of Commissar of Burials and Commissar of Voters Registration proudly. After all they do go hand in hand in my neck of the woods. I do recognize that when the Glorious World of Next Tuesday ™ is achieved the latter will be meaningless, however it will still look impressive festooned to my black overcoat.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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Dr. Chicago - "Commissar of Burials and Voter Registration" it is then. What avatar would go with that?

Considering your low rank in this collective of equals, however, "Commissar" may be too premature. Perhaps, Assistant Commissar of Burials and Voter Registration?

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Comrade Red Square,

Does it come with a shiny medal to attach to my black overcoat? If so, I will take it! As for avatars, that in not my forte, however something funereal would be appropriate.

Now I must get back to my work. I just got a call from the new Healthcare Czar. It seems that my workload will be increasing soon and I have some, uh, housecleaning to do.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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TPC, surely you are aware that the writ of Marx must appear exactly as in the original, including all inflections, punctuation and fly specks. In the orginal passage, there is a period, so in my quotation thereof, there is a period. This does not indicate a cessation of my sentence, as indicated by but a single space between the close parenthesis and the personal pronoun "I" following.

So what are you and Elliott going to be doing with all your free time now that both of you have been banned from class?

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marty_feldman.jpg
Ah, perhaps I nodded off momentarily. It pleads for cessation at that point (two periods would seem extravagant) but I personally support torture in all its forms so I say let it cry.

Elliott and I will be behind the outbuildings smoking. If our punishment ends just ring the bell twice.

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Dr. Chicago - how about this? Sorry the medal is invisible since it was awarded in secret and is meant to be worn between the coat and the lining.

Image

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Comrade Putout wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size.

I too have wasted a day in front of my mirror applying Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion®.

I am still rough all over but... I digress.

I respectfully request the title Commissar Commissaress of Coiffures. (If that title is currently in play may I be permitted to use Tramp Stamp Trotskyite?)

putout-mirror1.jpg
Ahh, one of the glorious proletariat dancers

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As you can to be seeing, I have been of appropriation with many of the good titles so now I am sure all will be known to my made-progness and contributions to collective.

After reading so much of them I am of great tiredness and in needing of rest. I am now to retire to sleeping chamber. Misha! Misha!!

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Comrade Red Square,

That will be fine. A lowly Party ™ official such as I can only ask. It is up to the more equal to decide. Many thanks I will wear it proudly.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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In the spirit of Progressive sanctimony I've decided to renounce titles. As a well rounded Commissar I also feel that titles are too restrictive. I want to be able to exercise unbridled power over those less equal. However I will cheerfully and with humility accept any assignments and awards the Party may bestow as it sees fit.

Humbly,
Comrade Whoopie
Holder of the Order of Leninka, Recipient of the Troll Corps Expeditionary Patch and Beet of the Week.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:In the spirit of Progressive sanctimony I've decided to renounce titles. As a well rounded Commissar I also feel that titles are too restrictive. I want to be able to exercise unbridled power over those less equal. However I will cheerfully and with humility accept any assignments and awards the Party may bestow as it sees fit.

Humbly,
Comrade Whoopie
Holder of the Order of Leninka, Recipient of the Troll Corps Expeditionary Patch and Beet of the Week.
*%$#@!!!!!! *%$#! I THINK NOT. You don't have such power, dear humble comrade Whoopie! I was just about to get my brass polish ready for my MEDAL to to pin to my well endowments and you decide, all on your lonely, to denounce of such?! *%$#!! I haven't even finished contenplating my Titles and you pull a stunk like this???. blah!! ..... Image

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workers unite.gif
Commissar of Diktates and Liquidations

This title creation and assignment is surprisingly difficult. We have become soft with few opportunities for suffering and struggle. May I suggest a Great March resulting in only few survivors. Start rounding up the academicians (tenured first). Pack a lunch.

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:In the spirit of Progressive sanctimony I've decided to renounce titles. As a well rounded Commissar I also feel that titles are too restrictive. I want to be able to exercise unbridled power over those less equal. However I will cheerfully and with humility accept any assignments and awards the Party may bestow as it sees fit.

Humbly,
Comrade Whoopie
Holder of the Order of Leninka, Recipient of the Troll Corps Expeditionary Patch and Beet of the Week.
*%$#@!!!!!! *%$#! I THINK NOT. You don't have such power, dear humble comrade Whoopie! I was just about to get my brass polish ready for my MEDAL to to pin to my well endowments and you decide, all on your lonely, to denounce of such?! *%$#!! I haven't even finished contenplating my Titles and you pull a stunk like this???. blah!! .....

Comrade Whoopie, maybe you are to be suffering from same lack of creativity dis- ease as our Leninka in an other thread? Maybe you just to be needing some good encouragement.


Image

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Mrs Al Czarweary wrote: Comrade Whoopie, maybe you are to be suffering from same lack of creativity dis- ease as our Leninka in an other thread? Maybe you just to be needing some good encouragement.

(I am thinking he needs a good swift kick in the privately held consortium, is what I am thinking)

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Comrade Putout wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size.

I too have wasted a day in front of my mirror applying Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion®.


Image

Comrade Putout,

Would you mind moving that notebook PC over a little? That most equal background is distracting the ability to read the webpage as displayed on said notebook.

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ThePeoplesComrade wrote:
marty_feldman.jpg
Ah, perhaps I nodded off momentarily. It pleads for cessation at that point (two periods would seem extravagant) but I personally support torture in all its forms so I say let it cry.

Elliott and I will be behind the outbuildings smoking. If our punishment ends just ring the bell twice.
I'll bring some vodka if you want.

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Comarde Infidel Castrate, *%$#@!!! I think not!!

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Karl Marx wrote:"Ich will die Krankenschwester mit ein tischbein geschlagt."

"I want to hit the nurse with a table leg" or "I want the nurse who hit me with a table leg" ??

My German is not really very good, but this quote from the Immortal Marx proves that he too smoked dope on occasion.

Which makes me wonder: If you hit a nurse with a table leg and there is no one to hear her fall, did you really hit her?

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If I remember my German classes correctly from oh so long ago, it is the former translation. Just to be safe, I think we should all dress up like nurses and whack each other with table legs. Naughty nurses

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Ivan Betinov wrote:If I remember my German classes correctly from oh so long ago, it is the former translation. Just to be safe, I think we should all dress up like nurses and whack each other with table legs. Naughty nurses

I would be more than happily delirious to comply and dress as a "naughty" nurse or even a reg. nurse, but it take soooo long for me to manipulate and maneuver photoshop now, that's it's rarely worth the effort. My old Adobe 4.0 was easy to use, this new stuff is for those with Degrees in Forensic Math or something.

re: "Most are do nothing Commissars bloating up the system."

I'm afraid that I fit this category, but I have an excuse as reflected in my new nick. (was Comrade Jill) I identify with the oppressed non-resident pharmacy workers seeking social justice in the hills of Arizona, even though I'm neither Hispanic nor a pharmacist. I can't even say I'm a Native American. I'm an occupier of Aztlan just like the rest of you. So, unless you descend from Native Americans and Spanish Conquistadors, then you are the real illegal aliens bloating up the system. I seek no titles for my penance; just raise my taxes and lower greedy oil-America's living standard to match Mexico's. We'll call it even.



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Ivan Betinov wrote:If I remember my German classes correctly from oh so long ago, it is the former translation. Just to be safe, I think we should all dress up like nurses and whack each other with table legs. Naughty nurses

I agree that we must follow Marx's writings to the letter, but what if it's not the former, but the latter translation is correct?

What if we must all dress up as table legs and whack each other with nurses?

What to do? This is how the Party becomes divided into factions and start killing each other for the sake of ideological purity. One thing I know for sure: if we don't follow Marx's directives exactly as they were written, something terrible is bound to happen.

I still maintain that my suggestion is the korrekt one. Registered nurses surely are a dangerous weapon if they have to register them like they register guns.

Those who disagree can argue their case in the Party Headquarters, where I'll be waiting for them with a loaded nurse on my lap.

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Comrade Red

I am now totally confused. I will now consume a bottle of Vodka to end the confusion, unless I can find a Loaded Nurse to blow my brains out with. Sorry. Had to scratch that or loose my PG rating.

DAMN life is confusing!

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Red Square wrote:
What to do? This is how the Party becomes divided into factions and start killing each other for the sake of ideological purity. One thing I know for sure: if we don't follow Marx's directives exactly as they were written, something terrible is bound to happen.


Ideological purity? There has never been a real reason for why we progs kill each other. It's who we are and what we do. All that is needed is a healthy dose of Progressive paranoia and guilt. And that my dear comrades comes with the territory. That's why we have Jiffi Lobo ™ and vodka of course.


I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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Dr. Chicago wrote:
Red Square wrote:
What to do? This is how the Party becomes divided into factions and start killing each other for the sake of ideological purity. One thing I know for sure: if we don't follow Marx's directives exactly as they were written, something terrible is bound to happen.


Ideological purity? There has never been a real reason for why we progs kill each other. It's who we are and what we do. All that is needed is a healthy dose of Progressive paranoia and guilt. And that my dear comrades comes with the territory. That's why we have Jiffi Lobo ™ and vodka of course.


I remain,
Dr. Chicago

Ideological purity? Just ask this man ... once you get the ice axe out of his skull that is.

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Now I can see an entire line of "Pulloskies Pinups" in our future.

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Red, that is some of the best convoluted logic I have come across in quite some time. I suppose that's why we have L.P.N.s (Lovely Pinup Naughty--just a little on the frisque-risque side) and R.N.s (Really Naughty--the type likely to curl up in a patient's lap).

And then there are the Nurse Practitioners....

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akk!
other than that, I find myself of speechlessness!!, Comrade People!

on second thought, this is a closer actualzation of my own self, just a few years prior. I am not sure where you found such my a photo, but you sly dog you.

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Frau, quit yer AAAKin' and get a crackin'

It's high time you learned to use the big girl version of Photoshop. I know you're plenty smart enough, you just need practice.

Oh and I never said you gals couldn't have titties titles, I just don't need any for myself. Titles that is (titties I can't get enough of).

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"Proletarier aller Länder, Sie fehlinformieren!" I, Kamerad roter Hering (Comrade Red Herring), a former citizen of the Demokratische Republik der Fehlinformation (Democratic Republic of Misinformation), now living in the Federated States of Misinfomation - not as informed as one or two would "think": to think one needs to drink vodka; would like to see how many punctuation marks one can use in a sentence?................... Now that you are distracted I will nominate myself for the glorious title; that as being a worker of the former Demokratische Republik der Fehlinformation , homeland of Communism, equally deserves: Vice Commissar to the Second Assistant on the Left Hand Side of the Third Cousin to the Roommate of Engels's Fishbowl Cleaner in the Department of Information and Fish Wrapping , VCSALHSTCREFCDIFW for short.
Many thanks my fellow workers, I have my shovel ready to be engraved.

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Just remember Comrades, our mission is not about the accumulation of Titles, Medals and such. Nor is it about the amount of TRIBUTE (hint hint) that we lavish upon our more than equal Superiors Supervisors. It's about doing our part and giving our all for the Party, Dear Leader and of course the Children.

Nurse Frau is smokin! Speaking of hot nurses, I have an educational video made by my very private nurse Jamie Lynn Spears. So in the interest of education (I know how some of my Comrades think) enjoy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq5K9GT ... re=related

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I have used the "grown up version" it just so cumbersome, but in time, I might get the better of it. I got the Titles and now I have to waste use more time in getting the correct dimension.

Just remember Comrades, our mission is not about the accumulation of Titles, Medals and such
. Comrade Grigori, surely you jest?!! I thought it was all about me myself and I! We ARE the glorious collective, after all!

what a party poop that is

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Frau, quit yer AAAKin' and get a crackin'

It's high time you learned to use the big girl version of Photoshop. I know you're plenty smart enough, you just need practice.

[highlight=#ffff00]Oh and I never said you gals couldn't have [/highlight][highlight=#ffff00]titties[/highlight][highlight=#ffff00] titles, I just don't need any for myself. Titles that is (titties I can't get enough of)[/highlight].
Careful how you word that Whoopie.

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Me a party poop? Aw Frau, you know better than that. Let me be perfectly clear: We, the Party Elite, work our fingers to the bone and in return we demand bribes ask for nothing. It's the Party Way!

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Comrade Whoopie wrote: Oh and I never said you gals couldn't have titties titles, I just don't need any for myself. Titles that is (titties I can't get enough of).

Hmmmm... Comrade Whoopie.... perhaps you to be good for assistance in Mrs Czarweary's Mother's Milk for The Childrens ™ Redistribution Center? Is not saying 'light hands make for many works'?

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Commissar_Elliott wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:
[highlight=#ffff00]Oh and I never said you gals couldn't have [/highlight][highlight=#ffff00]titties[/highlight][highlight=#ffff00] titles, I just don't need any for myself. Titles that is (titties I can't get enough of)[/highlight].
Careful how you word that Whoopie.

Believe you me, that was as carefully worded as I could make it.

Mrs. Al, I would love to help out at the Baby Milk Factory. I'm sure I could stimulate production.

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Whoopie, we are always in need of more of the good stimulus.

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Whoopie wrote:Mrs. Al, I would love to help out at the Baby Milk Factory. I'm sure I could stimulate production.

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:Whoopie, we are always in need of more of the good stimulus.

Comrade Whoopie and Mrs Al Czarweary. Absolutely SHAMEFUL.

You 2 need to get a room.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:But comrade, it's for the children.

But will they all be born with beards?

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Oh and I never said you gals couldn't have titties titles, I just don't need any for myself. Titles that is (titties I can't get enough of).

Comrade, is it neccessary to stray from the collective dispenser of the mother's milk?

Are you not getting sufficient nourishment? Do you wish to trade her for a younger woman (with a beard)? Why?

As you can see from the Peoples historical archives she is just as "plentiful" now as she was when she was young.


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Infidel Castrate - where did you get this unapproved photo of our Many Titted Empress as a high school senior? We weren't aware she posed for pictures then.
Last edited by Infidel Castrate on 7/11/2010, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Fixed thread per Red Square suggestion

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Infidel Castrate wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:But comrade, it's for the children.

But will they all be born with beards?
According to today's New York Post, yes!

Osama_Grandson.jpg
'I'm carrying Osama bin Laden's grandchild'
The baby she's carrying will face a lifetime of hate, and the woman who is pregnant with Osama bin Laden's British grandchild is terrified.

Louise Pollard, 24, agreed to be a surrogate mom for Omar bin Laden, 29, one of bin Laden's many children, and his wife, Zaina, 54.

The couple hired the young blond personal assistant, and she became pregnant on her third attempt at in-vitro fertilization, a British newspaper reported yesterday.

But the anxious Pollard has been the target of vitriol from people blasting her for agreeing to bring into the world a British grandchild of the world's most wanted terrorist.

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Red Square wrote:Infidel Castrate - where did you get this unapproved photo of our Many Titted Empress as a high school senior? We weren't aware she posed for pictures then.

Actually her indoctrination occured before she met Bill, I have kept this a secret all these years. It was I who gave her the indoctrination in NY city in 1960 (she loved it). That is to say back in those days my Party Member™ was still attached.

Bill did not really indoctrinate her as was commonly thought. Bill was not a real progressive, balancing the budget and not following through with Peoples Health care.

But Bill did have a love for Cuban cigars though.

Red Square wrote:
Infidel Castrate wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:But comrade, it's for the children.

But will they all be born with beards?
According to today's New York Post, yes!

Osama_Grandson.jpg
'I'm carrying Osama bin Laden's grandchild'
The baby she's carrying will face a lifetime of hate, and the woman who is pregnant with Osama bin Laden's British grandchild is terrified.

Louise Pollard, 24, agreed to be a surrogate mom for Omar bin Laden, 29, one of bin Laden's many children, and his wife, Zaina, 54.

The couple hired the young blond personal assistant, and she became pregnant on her third attempt at in-vitro fertilization, a British newspaper reported yesterday.

But the anxious Pollard has been the target of vitriol from people blasting her for agreeing to bring into the world a British grandchild of the world's most wanted terrorist.

I shall now reveal a great secret, I too was born with a beard.

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Comrade Putout wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Ever since the start of this thread I been standing in front of a mirror trying on titles for size.

I too have wasted a day in front of my mirror applying Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion®.

I am still rough all over but... I digress.

I respectfully request the title Commissar Commissaress of Coiffures. (If that title is currently in play may I be permitted to use Tramp Stamp Trotskyite?)

putout-mirror1.jpg
Burt's Bees M&H is my absolute favorite! I would like to be known as The Commisarka of Inanities.

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Hey, I'd like to know why so many comrades are suddenly changing their avatars, and I don't just mean the addition of titles/text, etc. Just when I see an unfamiliar avatar and think, "Finally! Some fresh meat around here!"--I take a closer look at the names only to see they're the same old regulars letting loose with the same old gas.

That's fine for The Party's agenda, since it seems necessary to change its outward appearance every 20-30 years; but I for one do not appreciate the ensuing mortification after topping off my vodka and sidling up to someone I think is new, only to find it's the same person who still has my underwear in their glove compartment.

Like what are these, folks--your "summer" avatars? Will you all be molting and shedding all over the furniture again in another six months?

I'm proud of the fact that when people see my name and my face with my red headscarf, they know exactly who I am . . . and when they see my shovel, they know exactly what they're getting.

Quality Progressive Thinking. Tried. Trusted. True.

And always, 100 percent correct.

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Is that not our mantra? We must change in order to stay the same.
We are progressives.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote: That's fine for The Party's agenda, since it seems necessary to change its outward appearance every 20-30 years; but I for one do not appreciate the ensuing mortification after topping off my vodka and sidling up to someone I think is new, only to find it's the same person who still has my underwear in their glove compartment.

pinky.jpg

Thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot to give you these back.

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"[highlight=#ffff99]We must change in order to stay the same. We are progressives.[/highlight]"
So true. Problem is no matter how we re-package ourselves, we can only fool some of the Proles some of the time.

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Infidel Castrate, that's not mine. That's men's underwear.

A long time ago on another thread (and I think I know which one, but I'd have to take my shovel and dig for it), I had an argument with a pack of male comrades about this very topic. Note the elongated, extra roomy--oh, I really hate this word, if only because it sounds like what it is--crotch. Why, if I wore that thing, the waistband would double (pun intended) as a sort of brassiere if you know what I mean.

Maybe Hillary wears it. Maybe Michelle. But not me.


 
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