It was 2071. I was waiting to undergo rejuvenation therapy, when I ran into Pinkie. Only I didn't know it was Pinkie. She also was waiting for the therapy, and I did not recognize her.

She yelled across the street "7.62, get your wrinkled ass over here!" I looked over and yelled back "And who in the name of Barack Obama, forever Blessed be! Are you? I don't know anyone from the Gulag for Criminally Ugly Comrades."

That's the last thing I remember. I woke up on a bed in my office. I got the therapy, and looked no older than 40. Also I was told I was in a coma for 6 months, and had a multitude of broken bones, cuts, and lost a fair bit of blood. Turns out all Pinkie wanted to know was if there was Vodka at the State Store I had just walked out of or not.

Nonetheless, I feel it is important to denounce Pinkie for her over enthusiastic whacking. While we have all been victims of her shovel at one time or another, this incident was over the top, and quite unacceptable. I have filed a preemptive complaint with the Department for Fairness and Justice in Pinkie's Shovel Whackings. I'm sure something will come of it.

Meanwhile I strongly suggest avoiding Pinkie in 2071. She's much more sensitive that year.