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Chevy Bill Ayers: A Classic Ride for Limousine Liberals

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#1: Chevy Bill Ayers: A Classic Ride for Limousine Liberals Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 4/27/2008, 3:41 pm
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Can't win at the ballot box? Get a Chevy Bill Ayers!

Reinforced bumpers: perfect for ramming government buildings
With the top down everyone can see you giving the finger
Oversized trunk can fit up to 800 lbs. of nail bombs.
Room for 18 standard-sized bumper stickers
Tires made of reclaimed sandal soles: great for spreading a message of peace as you plow through a police barricade
All models are mirrorless because alternate views are meaningless
Only comes in communist red with a yellow interior
Runs on bong water
Built in bullhorn
Only turns left

No money down and your daddy pays the rest!

#2: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 4/27/2008, 3:43 pm
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We praise Comrade BigFurHat for his first submission to the People's Cube and will take all available measures including threats and blackmail to ensure that it is not his last.

#3: Author: Great Stalin's Ghost, Location: the very blue state of Michigan

Posted: 4/27/2008, 5:14 pm
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Prepare the bong water pump at my local Citgo, comrade. I'll take two, one for me and one for my babushka-clad wife. Make sure all radio presets are set to NPR stations. In fact, I'm sure that my Chevy Bill Ayers will only receive NPR stations.

#4: Author: Bordgious, Location: Coruscant

Posted: 4/27/2008, 6:40 pm
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Does this come in a hybrid version that can also run off of the hot air coming from our glorious Comrade Al Gore?

#5: Author: Dissidant, Location: Glorious Peoples Republic of Arizona

Posted: 4/27/2008, 6:56 pm
    —
I am assuming that this glorious auto will be produced in mother Russia no?  If not, just remember:

Former spy, Alexander Litvinenko's cause of death was poisoning (possibly radioactive).

Perhaps BIGFURHAT should take notice of that!

Besides the biggest players in Russia are still the Russian auto companies AvtoVAZ (producer of Lada cars) and GAZ. The best-selling Lada is still based on a 1960s rear-wheel-drive Fiat, while GAZ is producing a relic of the 1980s in the form of the Volga executive sedan and a take on the early 1990s Ford Transit. The very worst offenders, cars like the Oda Fabula and the Moskvitch, are gone — victims of changing times and higher consumer standards due to the fall of the Glorious CCCP.

Gaz's Ivanov has ambitions to become president someday. One of his biggest rivals is Sergey Chemezov, head of state-owned arms exporter Rosoboronexport. Chemezov's company took control of AvtoVAZ in late 2005 and is now trying to convince the government to fund its new-model development program.  Hopefully, a soviet style manufacturing bloc can be set up complete with 5-year plans, re-education, "free" trips to farms and oil fields in Kamchatka, and a good purge or two when needed.

#6: Author: Superkommissar Maksim, Location: 43° 34' N 116° 13' W

Posted: 4/27/2008, 7:36 pm
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#7: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/27/2008, 8:39 pm
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Was thinking Raoul was now glorious leader of glorious Cuban Cigar producers. Perhaps this was ploy and actual leader is Franco. I am thinking he is more alive than Fidel. Will beautiful Cheby come with Cigar holder and Cuban Cigars?
Will have special shocks to allow up down motion and Horn that plays La Cucaracha?
Here is new tire for Cheby.

Power to the troddendown and Reverends named Wright that like Public Crucifixions.

#8: Author: IronyCurtain,

Posted: 4/27/2008, 8:41 pm
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I have GOT to get a BillAyers! In the meantime, since there is no glorious Citgo near me I've taken to mixing up my own highly combustible fuel in a Greenwich Village apartment. One more ingredient
ought to do it and the- (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!)

#9: Author: Red Bubba, Location: Breakaway Republic of Texas

Posted: 4/28/2008, 7:27 am
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Nice ride. I'd love to see it cruise with the Dhimmicrat's Changemobile.

#10: Author: Arch Axel, Location: Beaverton, OR

Posted: 4/28/2008, 12:09 pm
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Was that Senator Alabama I saw the other day taking one out for a test drive?

#11: Author: Irony Curtain, Location: The Peoples Republic of Connecticut

Posted: 4/28/2008, 12:39 pm
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Comrade Ted Kennedy has offered to drive us all home in one!

#12: Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 4/28/2008, 1:16 pm
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I come to everyone with a heavy heart.
There is distressing news about the new re-issue CHEvy Bill Ayers.

Ralph Nyeter has deemed it unsafe at any speed.
It seems the radio has the ability to receive talk radio.

#13: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 4/28/2008, 1:45 pm
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Alas, that wouldn't be a problem if only we could find a station that carries Air America. What about NPR?

#14: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/28/2008, 4:10 pm
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No Cheby?

#15: Author: Kofi Anonymous,

Posted: 4/28/2008, 5:26 pm
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Guardian of Pravda wrote

No Cheby?

No! No Cheby for you!

#16: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 4/28/2008, 5:28 pm
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I could put an XM Satellite radio in it. I know I can get Air America from XM!

#17: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/28/2008, 6:07 pm
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Kofi Anonymous wrote

Guardian of Pravda wrote

No Cheby?

No! No Cheby for you!

Another lie to the masses. Well done.
Power to the troddendown and earthquake survivors in las Vegas.

#18: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 4/28/2008, 7:12 pm
—

Commissarka Pinkie wrote

What about NPR?

NPR=National Public Radio, a taxpayer-subsidized organ of progressive indoctrination. It's even better than Air America for our cause, because it doesn't explicitly state its liberal ideology, but instead is trying to present its opinions as neutral and balanced.

In New York, the local NPR station is WNYC. It's normal for them to conduct "thoughtful" interviews with leftist radicals and act as if they are leading intellectuals of our time. I don't listen to them often, but a few months ago I happened catch one of their "intellectual" types Leonard Lopate interviewing Ayers' wife Bernadine Dohrn. It was the most pathetic, morally and intellectually bankrupt show I ever heard even from that guy. He treated her with reverie appropriate for a saint - and what's even more disgusting, she seemed to be used to it and took it for granted. They spoke about her recent book of memoirs or something - but Amazon.com doesn't have any books written by her on except this one she did with Ayers and some other fellow moonbats - Sing a Battle Song: The Revolutionary Poetry, Statements, and Communiques of the Weather Underground 1970 - 1974 (Paperback)

Somehow nobody mentions that book in all these Ayers debates.

I had never heard their names before, but the hour-long interview enlightened me enough about the Ayers-Dohrn couple and the prominent place they take in the "progressive" hall of fame.

But check out a selected list of Bill Ayers' works from Wikipedia (both as author and editor):

Education: An American Problem. 1968
Hot town: Summer in the City: I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more, 1969
A Kind and Just Parent, 1997
A Light in Dark Times: Maxine Greene and the Unfinished Conversation, 1998
Teaching for Social Justice: A Democracy and Education Reader, 1998
A Simple Justice: The Challenge of Small Schools, 2000
Zero Tolerance: Resisting the Drive for Punishment, 2001
Refusing Racism: White Allies and the Struggle for Civil Rights, 2002
Fugitive Days: A Memoir, Bill Ayers, Beacon Press, 2001, (Penguin, 2003)
Teaching the Personal and the Political: Essays on Hope and Justice, 2004
Teaching Toward Freedom: Moral Commitment and Ethical Action in the Classroom, 2004
Handbook of Social Justice in Education, 2008

Is it me or does he strike you as a little bit obsessive-compulsive? What do you think he teaches in his class? He is free to walk around with a turnip stuck up his ass for all I care; what troubles me is that the people who hold high position in education and book publishing keep inviting this obsessive lunatic to write and edit instructions for teachers and students.

#19: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/28/2008, 9:05 pm
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A question for the inestimable BigFurHat....

You can produce such a classic as you have, yet unable to shrink that hat?

#20: Author: Superkommissar Maksim, Location: 43° 34' N 116° 13' W

Posted: 4/28/2008, 9:37 pm
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Bill’s website is telling. The guy sure loves commies. Is there some symbolism behind the peeled back red stars?

#21: Author: Chairman M. S. Punchenko, Location: The Former People's Socialist Commonwealth of Virginia (Now known as the Capitalist Occupied Zone)

Posted: 4/28/2008, 10:49 pm
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Question: Does the CHEvrolet come in a really, really expensive model that no ordinary "bitter person" can afford? I would really hate to roll down the thoroughfares in my new CHEvy only to find out that some smelly unkempt prole also has one. I cannot fathom the embarrassment I would suffer from if I saw a mere commoner own something that I own – I simply cannot fathom the embarrassment, Comrades.

#22: Author: Comrade Hasan, Location: Soviet Union of Persia

Posted: 4/28/2008, 11:14 pm
—

Quote

"Oversized trunk can fit up to 800 lbs. of nail bombs."

And with 60% less green house gases emitted on detonation.
40% more bumper sticker space!
Uses only Citgo Gas.

#23: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/28/2008, 11:51 pm
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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote

Question: Does the CHEvrolet come in a really, really expensive model that no ordinary "bitter person" can afford? I would really hate to roll down the thoroughfares in my new CHEvy only to find out that some smelly unkempt prole also has one. I cannot fathom the embarrassment I would suffer from if I saw a mere commoner own something that I own – I simply cannot fathom the embarrassment, Comrades.

You will be dismayed, Chairman, to hear that in the Worker's Paradise in the PRC, it is possible for upwardly-mobile party members to purchase CHEvrolet in five-year plan. (In China, we call it CHIvrolet). This is my first installment, I cannot wait to get the completed vehicle so I can chase running ~~dogs~~ imperialists!

I tip my modest Red Army cap to our comrade BigFurHat for this progressive post!

#24: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 4/29/2008, 12:38 am
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Already BigFurHat is proving that his hat is indeed bigger and furrier than all the rest of ours.

I salute you, comrade Hat!

#25: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/29/2008, 12:47 am
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Chairman, forgive me, there is an exclusive edition for the progressive party chieftain...the LaikaEditionKosmoKar^TM. Commissar Pinkie, they even have your color:

It features its own Sputnik, onboard telemetry with tinfoil hats for driver and passengers, and stereo 8-track. This is the car to be envied in as you arrive at state functions or to flaunt on a weekend drive to the dacha.

Why? Because you can, Chairman!

#26: Author: Laika the Space Dog, Location: Outer Space, Kremilin, Hyannis, Little Rock, Pittsburgh

Posted: 4/29/2008, 7:06 am
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Ummm...Meow, That is Pinkie's car. She was the best producer of the year for Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics. She said she flunked out of the Beauty Commune School but the truth is she is a master planned economics instructor at the tank and shovel factory, getting Babushkas to purchase items to enhance their sexual attractiveness so their Ivans back at their state run 3 room apartment doesn't need a whole litre of vodka to become aroused for procreation on behalf of the Motherland.
Without Pinkie's prowess with Marina Kay, there would be a lot less Young Pioneers.

#27: Author: Red Bubba, Location: Breakaway Republic of Texas

Posted: 4/29/2008, 7:06 am
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Most excellent vehicle for the party elite. Here at the beet farm, we have planted 640 acres of beets in order to make enough biofuel to fill the tank nearly full. That's progressive® ! Please note however, that orthodox party thought strongly suggests a change of color.

#28: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/29/2008, 8:17 pm
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Laika the Space Dog wrote

.....so their Ivans back at their state run 3 room apartment doesn't need a whole litre of vodka to become aroused for procreation on behalf of the Motherland.

Whoa whoa whoa..... Wait just a Soyez second here.... The state is now providing 3 room apartments? Great Stalin's Ghost! How are we tp raise the New Socialist Family if we start giving them the benefits it takes years of faithful Party service to earn? Is it any wonder contributions have slacked off?

#29: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/29/2008, 8:31 pm
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Commissar Pupovich wrote

Laika the Space Dog wrote

.....so their Ivans back at their state run 3 room apartment doesn't need a whole litre of vodka to become aroused for procreation on behalf of the Motherland.

Is OK. Two of the rooms were bathrooms.

3rd room was half kitchen minus stove refrigerator and sink.
Power to the troddendown and Former (never funny) Comedians named Franken that pay 70 thou in back taxes.

#30: Author: The Tsarevna, Location: Plymouth, MI

Posted: 4/29/2008, 8:48 pm
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Mousey-Tongue wrote

Chairman, forgive me, there is an exclusive edition for the progressive party chieftain...the LaikaEditionKosmoKar^TM. Commissar Pinkie, they even have your color:

Oh, it is soo beautiful mousy! I must have one of my own. Or a boyfriend with one.

Laika, does Marina Kay still carry Moskva Nights Owe da Toilet? I need more of the fine sandpaper quality foundation, must trouble you for order soon.

#31: Author: Uncle Iosif, Location: Moscow

Posted: 4/29/2008, 8:50 pm
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Do both bathrooms work? Otherwise, how many comrades share? I suppose this could be acceptable if designed by proper socialist design,,, one family with bathrooms, one with food areas, one with sleeping area, yet another family with closets and perhaps half a garage.

#32: Author: The Tsarevna, Location: Plymouth, MI

Posted: 4/29/2008, 8:53 pm
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Commissar Pupovich wrote

A question for the inestimable BigFurHat....

You can produce such a classic as you have, yet unable to shrink that hat?

Oh, Comrade Pup, but I think the way BFH's hat sits atop his noggin is so cute. Makes him resemble ET, who, after all, did his part to unify the masses:

#33: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/29/2008, 9:01 pm
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But inquiring minds,,,, the KGB for one, need to know what is under that hat! It looks strangely enough like North Carolina, sight of the coming primary.

#34: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/29/2008, 9:06 pm
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Speaking of progressive cars.... this evening, the interstate in Baton Rouge was shut down when a mobile meth lab blew up and caught fire. Does the progressive vehicles above have this handy feature? And if so, what are the safety measures employed so such accidents do not occur... especially during rush hour?

#35: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 4/29/2008, 9:10 pm
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Oh, I love this! With plenty of room in the trunk for my shovel, my vodka, and voters for the Empress!

Laika wrote:

Quote

Ummm...Meow, That is Pinkie's car. She was the best producer of the year for Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics. She said she flunked out of the Beauty Commune School but the truth is she is a master planned economics instructor at the tank and shovel factory, getting Babushkas to purchase items to enhance their sexual attractiveness so their Ivans back at their state run 3 room apartment doesn't need a whole litre of vodka to become aroused for procreation on behalf of the Motherland.
Without Pinkie's prowess with Marina Kay, there would be a lot less Young Pioneers.

Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.  Now I have new stuff to add to my signature block.  Take that (and your Golden Corral coupons, too), Chairman Meow!

PINKIE

Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Best Producer of the Year, Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics
Master Planned Economics Instructor, Tank & Shovel Factory
Ranked #1 on Google for "Crimes Against Everything" Thread
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people.  I like the way they live.  I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

#36: Author: Irony Curtain, Location: The Peoples Republic of Connecticut

Posted: 4/29/2008, 9:25 pm
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I'm with The Pupster, if I may be so bold...what in the name of Mr. Stalin is under that hat?!?! I swear to Brezhnev, I must find out. You don't suppose he is smuggling someone out? Or in?

#37: Author: Chairman M. S. Punchenko, Location: The Former People's Socialist Commonwealth of Virginia (Now known as the Capitalist Occupied Zone)

Posted: 4/29/2008, 11:02 pm
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I think Comrade Big Fur Hat needs to show the collective what he is hording in such a big hat and he also needs to tell us why he has to have such a big hat. I for one do not have a big hat and personally -- and this is in my opinion which is always sought after and is not the opinion of others until I tell them that this is their opinion -- I think such a big hat is, well, offensive to those of us who were blessed by Gaia with smaller or "petite" hats.

#38: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/29/2008, 11:21 pm
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Chairman, thank you for your opinion, It is the ray of sunshine in my hovel. I try to write them down on corn husks when they are available, and stick them on my cardboard box that I pretend is a refrigerator, Things have been a bit tight around here since paying your legal and bar bills for my show trial.

Speaking of this, did you go back there lately to see the "lagniappe" I left you to hopefully tide you over your recent loss of Hummels.

#39: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 4/30/2008, 12:55 am
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Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

#40: Author: Red Bubba, Location: Breakaway Republic of Texas

Posted: 4/30/2008, 5:56 am
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Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

No, no, Who [sic] is the president of the PRC, so in that sense, Hu is the real Mao, but not the Chairman. Meow, who (not Hu) may be mousey, is not Mousey. Niether is Mao, the former Chairman. Pinkie is a lefty but she should be a red-dy, right?.

#41: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/30/2008, 9:36 am
—

Red Bubba wrote

Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

No, comrades, Who is Hue. No Hue is Who Mousey or Mao. Meow is a nickname for Chairman Punchenko or, when combined with the word 'Mix', a popular cat food. And above all, Mao is Mao, and the cat's meow. We must maintain the purity of correct thought here.

I am not sure this helped any, but it gave me a headache just typing it.

#42: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:27 am
    —
Hey!!!  Look want I  found under the couch in the bunker!!!!

A bag of CatNip!!!  Mousey-Tongue?  Have you hittin' the herb again?

--

#43: Author: Ivan Drago, Location: Hollywood

Posted: 4/30/2008, 1:16 pm
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Am driving standard issue Red Army jeep. Is big and strong like Drago.

#44: Author: Commissar L.R. Star, Location: Republik of Dallas

Posted: 4/30/2008, 3:06 pm
—

Mousey-Tongue wrote

Red Bubba wrote

Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

and What is on second....... I dont know.... Third base

#45: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 4/30/2008, 3:28 pm
—
I am Yu as he is Mi as you are Hu and we are all togethe-e-e-er.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

#46: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/30/2008, 5:30 pm
—

Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

What is working bathroom?
Power to the troddendown and American Idol Commentators that forget how many songs a person sang.

#47: Author: Buddy_Lenin, Location: PRC (California)

Posted: 4/30/2008, 7:14 pm
—

Guardian of Pravda wrote

Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

What is working bathroom?

My dear Guardian, you should certainly know that all our exterior bathrooms work marvelously!

The decadent Leonard Bernstein wrote a melody that the even more decadent Mad Magazine substituted some gloriously Progressive lyrics, sung to the tune of "America" from "West Side Story":

I like my lot in America
Good things I've got in America
Khrushchev is not in America
Else I'd be shot in America

(And here follow the glorious lyrics)

You'll like the weather in Mosccow
(If you like driving a snowplow)
We build our bathrooms with great pride
(If you don't mind going outside)

See? Everything works pefectly. We of the party are a hardy lot.

Besides, why do you think we all carry shovels, eh?

#48: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/30/2008, 8:03 pm
—

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote

Hey!!! Look want I found under the couch in the bunker!!!!

A bag of CatNip!!! Mousey-Tongue? Have you hittin' the herb again?

--

Ahh, Zampolit Blokhayev, that is my ~~stash~~ medicinal supply prescribed by Dr. No, my personal physician. A productive worker must keep himself ~~medicated~~ dedicated to the Greater Good^TM, no?

(And please, do not go snooping in the bean bag chair. Not that there is anything there, because it would be most unlikely to find anything in the bean bag chair...you know, the red one in the corner? Thank you.)

#49: Da Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 4/30/2008, 8:23 pm
—

Buddy_Lenin wrote

Guardian of Pravda wrote

Premier Betty wrote

Wait, I'm getting confused now. Who's the real Meow? The Chairman, or Mousey?

What is working bathroom?

Am understanding non functional bathrooms as all good proletariat have them located inside single room house next to ironing board and wood stove,.
All good members of party do 'business' outside so that all can share in party efforts and results.
Being excellent party member I have two shovels one made of imitation wood by members of Glorious Red Sun Party located in hidden sweat shop below lead mine in Guangdong Province of China by intrepid and dedicated fulong gong conversions who were converted like Tibetans, and the other of imitation plastic. 2nd one is collapsible. Just in case main one ~~falls apart~~ does not work.
Power to the Troddendown and Checkers Restaurant workers who store bread in bathrooms. Smile

#50: Re: Da Author: Buddy_Lenin, Location: PRC (California)

Posted: 4/30/2008, 8:35 pm
—

Guardian of Pravda wrote

Am understanding non functional bathrooms as all good proletariat have them located inside single room house next to ironing board and wood stove,

Ah, those. I forgot about those.

I think mine's now a planter, but it's so overgrown I -- well, I forget about it...

I also commend you on both your shovels. The re-education camp is now issuing these super-heavy-duty titanium ones that rust so quickly you have to oil them four times a day; thus the surplus value of labor can be realized in greater measure -- or something like that.

All I know is that I have to work harder too keep it functional.

#51: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 4/30/2008, 8:46 pm
—

Mousey-Tongue wrote

OH YES!!! Comrade Doctor No!
I kNOw him well! His services to The Party™ are well kNOwn.

*sniff* *sniff*

Uh... Mousey... what's that smell on your breath?

Alright!!!! Fess up!!! What's under the bean bag chair?

--

#52: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/30/2008, 10:01 pm
—
As there is truly no individual in the collective, therefore no privacy endowed upon individuals, I will reveal the contents of the bean bag...immediately after comrade BigFurHat reveals what he has under that enormous mound of fur on his head. It worries me, the origin of that fur...

#53: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:08 pm
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Ah, try and take some of the Chairman's contributions or Hummels, and see how the Central Committee views individual privacy rights....

As for the fur in that Comrades worrisome hat... I doubt it is what you worry about since there remains a bag limit on felines in the Motherland since the population is still recovering from an unexplained mass disappearance of cats during the glorious 5 year plan back in the thirties when we singled handedly brought the Motherland's peasantry into the 20th, well, at least late 19th century. Oh, that's right... there is no such limit here in the USSA.

#54: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:33 pm
—
Commissar, please keep the eye on the ball - or in your case, the Frisbee^TM.

We were discussing the enormous BFH and what lies underneath. Comrade BigFurHat, your Party is calling. Inquiring minds want to know!

#55: Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:44 pm
—
I must confess that I have been monitoring this thread (on my laptop that I just purchased at
COMP USSA, they installed Red Tooth and AeroFlot) with great disappointment.
Yearning, inquisitiveness and impatience should have been drained out of the collective by now.
You will learn all about the contents of my hat when it is determined that this knowledge is for the good of the whole.
In the meantime, Mousey, have I told you about my big fur speedos ?

#56: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:56 pm
—

BigFurHat wrote

I must confess that I have been monitoring this thread (on my laptop that I just purchased at
COMP USSA, they installed Red Tooth and AeroFlot) with great disappointment.
Yearning, inquisitiveness and impatience should have been drained out of the collective by now.
You will learn all about the contents of my hat when it is determined that this knowledge is for the good of the whole.
In the meantime, Mousey, have I told you about my big fur speedos ?

Purrrfectly fine with me, comrade. I will leave it to the Chairman and Her Empress herself to inquire further.

As to the fur speedos, your fur fetish is nukulturny. [sniff-sniff] [takes nap]

Last edited by General Mousey-Tongue on 5/1/2008, 12:11 am; edited 2 times in total

#57: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 4/30/2008, 11:58 pm
—
I don't want to know....

#58: Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:04 am
—
I haven't been called nekulturny since Gorby caught me picking my nose.
(I was actually hiding a small listening device.)
((I never trusted Gorby... and I was right all along.))

My speedo line was only meant to divert attention from my BFH - and it did the trick.
That is why I send you this private message that only YOU can see, to let ONLY YOU
know of my sneaky tactic.
So, our secret is safe, am I wrong?

#59: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:16 am
—
[only pretending to sleep, because fur topics make me exceedingly uncomfortable]

Your secret is indeed safe. Forgive my directness, comrade, diverting the attention of the masses has a long and glorious tradition in our struggle. I will not mention my dream about your hat. Now I have secret too. Funny, no?

Does your laptop have enhanced DiFi collectivity?

#60: Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:23 am
—
Hey.. I just read all this on public foru.....

NYET! NYET!!
ALL THIS WAS TRAP!!! I TRAPPED MOUSEY!
I have no secret.
I conspire with no one.
IT IS SHE!
ALL A TRAP, I SAY!

Can I interest anyone in fragrant toilet paper to make all this go away?

#61: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:32 am
—
I'm confused... what's going on?

#62: Author: BigFurHat, Location: ny

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:35 am
—
That's good Premier Betty.

I too am confused.
I am also drunk.
I am cold.
I am good comrade.

That's all anyone needs to know.

#63: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 5/1/2008, 12:37 am
—
I'm drunk too. Drunk with greed and envy that there are people out there playing GTA IV right now and I'm not. At least I have the new TF2 update to keep me company... for now....

#64: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/1/2008, 6:16 am
—

Mousey-Tongue wrote

Commissar, please keep the eye on the ball - or in your case, the Frisbee^TM.

We were discussing the enormous BFH and what lies underneath. Comrade BigFurHat, your Party is calling. Inquiring minds want to know!

Holy Marx! Another comrade whose equality of species includes a goldfish's memory span. Of course we have been discussing the nature of the comrades enormous hat which has it's own gravitational field. It was you comrade who asked about the nature of the fur.

#65: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/1/2008, 6:21 am
—

BigFurHat wrote

My speedo line was only meant to divert attention from my BFH - and it did the trick.

Oh, that is rich Comrade! The comrade is a cat..... a piece of string, a tuna can opening, a place to lie down is all it takes to divert his attention.

#66: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/1/2008, 6:24 am
—

BigFurHat wrote

Hey.. I just read all this on public foru.....

NYET! NYET!!
ALL THIS WAS TRAP!!! I TRAPPED MOUSEY!
I have no secret.
I conspire with no one.
IT IS SHE!
ALL A TRAP, I SAY!

Can I interest anyone in fragrant toilet paper to make all this go away?

Ah, a secret eh? Do you really think we can be bought off with fragrant toilet paper Comrade? Er... how much do you have?

#67: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 5/1/2008, 10:12 am
—

Commissar Pupovich wrote

BigFurHat wrote

My speedo line was only meant to divert attention from my BFH - and it did the trick.

Oh, that is rich Comrade! The comrade is a cat..... a piece of string, a tuna can opening, a place to lie down is all it takes to divert his attention.

Don't forget Catnip!

--
ZB

#68: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/1/2008, 7:18 pm
—
Good point Comrade Zampolit. One can hardly imagine the debauchery Comrade Cat is capable on with catnip coursing through his blood.

#69: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 5/1/2008, 9:10 pm
—

Commissar Pupovich wrote

Good point Comrade Zampolit. One can hardly imagine the debauchery Comrade Cat is capable on with catnip coursing through his blood.

It won't be debauchery on a scale anywhere near that of what Chairman Meow is know for when he goes on one of his alcohol and chemically induced benders. Trust me on this!

--

#70: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 5/1/2008, 9:54 pm
—
We all remember the washing machine massacre of 06. It was not pretty. At least the chairman got it all out of his system. I hope....

#71: Author: General Mousey-Tongue, Location: Peoples Republic of Catnip

Posted: 5/1/2008, 10:21 pm
—

Commissar Pupovich wrote

BigFurHat wrote

My speedo line was only meant to divert attention from my BFH - and it did the trick.

Oh, that is rich Comrade! The comrade is a cat..... a piece of string, a tuna can opening, a place to lie down is all it takes to divert his attention.

Did someone mention tuna???

#72: Author: Zampolit Blokhayev, Location: The People's Socialist Republic of the District of Columbia

Posted: 5/1/2008, 11:09 pm
—

Premier Betty wrote

We all remember the washing machine massacre of 06. It was not pretty. At least the chairman got it all out of his system. I hope....

Don't forget the Chelsea Clinton/Border Collie Incident of 07 at Comrade Gov. Kaine's (S-VA) mansion!

Ay Karumba!!!

Or the Kennedy Cop Affair earlier this year!

--

#73: Author: Premier Betty, Location: People's Glorious Demokratssky Republik Kalivornja.

Posted: 5/2/2008, 12:51 am
—
They're all horrible. Although they do make interesting stories....

#74: Author: Che Granola, Location: P.R.K (People's Republic of Kalifornia)

Posted: 5/2/2008, 1:37 am
—
How many carbon credits does these bong car get me?

#75: Author: Ivan Betinov, Location: Kentucky

Posted: 5/2/2008, 1:40 am
—

Quote

Is it me or does he strike you as a little bit obsessive-compulsive? What do you think he teaches in his class? He is free to walk around with a turnip stuck up his ass for all I care;

Have you been monitoring the closed circuit TV security tapes from my classroom again?

#76: Author: Ivan Betinov, Location: Kentucky

Posted: 5/2/2008, 1:46 am
—
And another thing. I notice that many of the comrades here--Betty, myself, Irony Curtain, myself, the Guardian of Pravda, myself, and me, don't even have hats. And we are not alone, there are others on this very list that don't have hats, me being one of them. Yet here is this new comrade whose very NAME is grinding it into our poor, hatless pates as to the size and grandeur of HIS hat, mocking us with our differently-hatted status, and making me feel inadequate. I demand that he be subjected to a special Progressive hat tax.

#77: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 10:34 am
—
Comrade Betinov, I believe you are entirely correct! And comrade who clearly has more hat than he needs, while so many comrades have no hat at all for one reason or another, should have to pay a tax for that, A rather steep tax I might add.

#78: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 5/2/2008, 11:21 am
—
Ah, behold the hat envy! Betinov, you have a lid on your jar, what more do you want?

I'll bet none of you would complain to see a gurl comrade by the name of Big Full Hooters come bouncing in here with an avatar to match.

#79: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 11:55 am
—
There is a huge difference Commissarka Pinkie, between a gurl comrade who through no fault of her own, has been cursed with the burden of excessive boobage, and a comrade who chooses to wear a hat large enough to have it's own planetary system under it. A steep tax is what he should pay, and more than that, he should desire to pay.

#80: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 5/2/2008, 12:12 pm
—
Excessive boobage is now also a choice, thanks to advances in science and engineering. More and more womyn are choosing to have boobs bigger than those of their friends, neighbors, co-workers, and wet nurses. It causes unjustifiable boob envy resulting in the loss of productivity at the workplace. If we are to put a tax on the size of hats, we must without doubt put a tax on the size of boobs.

As in: "Excuse me, what tax bracket are you in, comradess Big Full Hooters?"

Me, I'll take a gurl with a big shovel rather than big boobs any day.

#81: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 5/2/2008, 12:22 pm
    —
Red Square says something quite similar to what I was about to post--and good Progressive that I am, I even had a link ready to copy-and-paste.  But he said it all.

And that, Pupovich, is why I obey him.  How can you possibly ever question that?

PINKIE

Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Best Producer of the Year, Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics
Master Planned Economics Instructor, Tank & Shovel Factory
Ranked #1 on Google for "Crimes Against Everything" Thread
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people.  I like the way they live.  I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

#82: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 5/2/2008, 1:09 pm
—
"Obey" is a good progressive word that unfortunately is almost forgotten these days and it is our duty to bring it back through "obey" awareness campaign. The artist who made the Obama poster has made a career on promoting the "obey" image, so the "obama" idea was only three characters off. We must cheer his efforts to "manufacture quality dissent" and "propaganda engineering."

Now, speaking of an avatar with big hooters I think we had one already after the unfortunate accident with Chairman Punchenko who fell off the ledge and was brought back to life as Ms. Parton:

#83: Author: Chairman M. S. Punchenko, Location: The Former People's Socialist Commonwealth of Virginia (Now known as the Capitalist Occupied Zone)

Posted: 5/2/2008, 2:03 pm
—

Comrade Betinov wrote

I demand that he be subjected to a special Progressive hat tax.

I agree that Comrade BFH must pay the Progressive Hat Tax to atone for his big hat which, in all fairness, is clearly a luxury. And there is nothing more righteous than to tax a luxury at a ridiculously high rate, Comrades.

Now then, I myself am excused from this Progressive Hat Tax since the cockade on my ushanka is, well, a little higher up in the Maypole than others. I am also a public servant which means I am excused from paying taxes. Me paying taxes is essentially me giving money to government only to have them give it back to me. It defeats the purpose, Comrades, and is therefore silly.

Last edited by Chairman M. S. Punchenko on 5/2/2008, 4:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

#84: Author: Commissar L.R. Star, Location: Republik of Dallas

Posted: 5/2/2008, 3:51 pm
—

Ivan Betinov wrote

...myself, and me, don't even have hats.

Why do you need a hat when you have a tank Razz

#85: Author: Commissar L.R. Star, Location: Republik of Dallas

Posted: 5/2/2008, 3:53 pm
—

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote

I agree that Comrade BFH must pay the Progressive Hat Tax to atone for his big hat

Chairman you just suffer from Big Hat envy......

#86: Author: Guardian of Pravda, Location: Alabama

Posted: 5/2/2008, 4:11 pm
—

LoneRedStar wrote

Chairman you just suffer from Big Hat envy......

BHE? New socialist disease for masses? Can only apply to those with no hat and envy for those with. Yet we are all equal so how can anyone have hat let alone big hat when others do not? This is confusing capitalist pig game designed to create chaos among the party faithfull. Down with hats and big hats onward to equality and fairness. Let those who have hair share with those without and remove reason for wearing hats to cover bald spots caused by capitalist worry of stock values.
Power to the troddendown and States taxing private jets.

#87: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 4:27 pm
—

Red Square wrote

we must without doubt put a tax on the size of boobs.

That being the case, it is imperative that we distinguish between those comrades who were naturally cursed with excessive boobage, so they are not taxed unfairly, and those who on their own volition, chose to promote sexism and competitiion who should be taxed heavily.

As Commissar of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health, as well as Director General of the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses, it is clear that this would fall under my auspices. Therefore, I take full responsibility in screening these individuals, and collecting the tax. It's a tough and dirty job Comrade Cube, but damn it! Someone has to do it!

#88: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 4:31 pm
—

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote

Now then, I myself am excused from this Progressive Hat Tax since the cockade on my ushanka is, well, a little higher up in the may pole than others.

You and I and most of the hat wearing comrades here would not be subject to a tax Chairman. It is a simple, "horizontal" tax code. One is only taxed by the portion of the hat that exceeds the furthermost tip of one's ears. Clearly, you and I wear hats that are proplerly proportioned to our ear width.

#89: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 5/2/2008, 6:06 pm
—
I hereby introduce an EXCESSIVE QUOTE USE tax that will measured by the portion of the quoted text that exceeds the furthermost tip of one's ears.

If one is to trust the Party censors, they have just went in and removed about 15 inches of excessive quoting from the last several posts only, leaving just the bare survival minimum per post. The next time this happens, the Party censors will be also removing inches from the message that follows the quote. Repeated offenders will have inches removed from their heads.

What is a large excessive quote above one's tiny post if not the sublimated Big Hat Envy (BHE)?

We must nip in the bud this new disease that is sweeping our collective, and the best way to do it is through a few demonstrative executions, Che Guevara style.

#90: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 6:22 pm
—
At last, my art subsidy arrived in the form of a freebie Paint.net. It seems to have all the working tools as that capitalist Paintshop has that I admit, I have little talent for. But I finally had my first minor success, and so now, it is only fair to make a comparison...

Comrade with Lenin knows what to hide.....

Or loyal, devoted Party dog with proper, Party approved proportions....

#91: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 5/2/2008, 7:22 pm
    —
Did all of you read Red Square's post?  I'm not about to snip a quote from it, for fear of having something snipped from me.

It's begun!  It's started!  The Yahooization of this group.  And it's all your fault, Pupovich!

First you want to know why there are no signature blocks.  So the Chairman and I make signature blocks to shut you up, and then you complain they're too big!  Now, Our Glorious Leader has imposed the Excessive Quote Use tax.

You know where it goes from here, don't you?  Next we'll only be allowed to choose from a limited assortment of subject lines.  Then people will complain there are too many frivolous one-line posts.  After that, we'll be told that if we're addressing a post to one particular individual, we have to put the addressee's name in the subject line, so Lenin forbid none of the other hundreds of people here must risk the horrible, agonizing inconvenience of having to stop and read that message only to find it has nothing to do with them personally.  Eventually, these boards will wither and die from lack of use because everyone's afraid to post for fear of offending "list nazis" like you, and in the end, I predict--you read it here, let the record show--I predict it will be YOU, Pupovich, who logs onto the Cube one day, looks around, and asks, "Where is everyone?  Why doesn't anyone post anymore?"

For this I've had to add a new line to my signature block.

PINKIE

Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Best Producer of the Year, Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics
Master Planned Economics Instructor, Tank & Shovel Factory
Ranked #1 on Google for "Crimes Against Everything" Thread
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!
Save Our Cube from Yahoogroupish List Nazis!  Click Here to find out how you can help while adding frequent flyer miles to your favorite credit card!

"I like rich people.  I like the way they live.  I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

#92: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/2/2008, 10:18 pm
—
I will have you know I agree with the Cube 110%, even if perhaps I am at fault on occasion. I have never understood comrades who when they quote say a post with a video in it, feel compelled to include the video again.

If you will notice, I have refrained from this crazed signature block wrecking some have engaged in... though of course my block would far outstrip any I have seen so far.

#93: Author: Ivan Betinov, Location: Kentucky

Posted: 5/2/2008, 11:40 pm
—
Commissarka Pinkie, Comrade Lone Red Star, it doesn't matter whether or not I need a hat. I doesn't matter whether or not I could even use a hat. What matters is that I don't HAVE a hat, and somebody else does. Sure, I could go out and buy a hat, but that would entail both expense and effort on my part, and set a dangerous precedent of me taking responsibility for my own welfare. Thus ALL you comrades with hats owe me, not just Big Fur Hat. He just happens to be the most visible of the hat oppressors, but for centuries now I have been oppressed by all those who wear hats. I bet you all wore hats while you were slaughtering the Buffalos and Indians and Polar Bears.

#94: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/3/2008, 12:03 am
—
What do you call the dome thingy on top of your jar Comrade Brain? It keeps the rain out of your jar, keeps your brain nice and warm when it's cold outside, and it to could have some cute saying or sports logo added to it, so it is equal to our hats. Well, not mine of course since mine has the KGB sky blue band.

#95: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 5/3/2008, 7:32 am
    —
Dear Betinov, the lid on your jar is just as adequate as my red headscarf.  Let us be happy with what The Party has given us!

Besides, big hats are such a nuisance.  Not only do people stare at them all the time, because they're so big, but their size can cause headaches, and if something of that size isn't adequately supported, then over time, as it ages and gravity takes over, the hat will weaken, wear out, and grow limp and sagging.  Soon the sides of BFH's hat will surely be drooping down over his head.  Check out Pupovich's ears.

Also, people tend not to take you so seriously when you have a big hat.  It's as if people think it's supposed to compensate for little or no brain, and they treat you accordingly.  And you, sir, obviously have a brain! (But neither do you have a big hat.)

I'll confess, sometimes it bothers my self-esteem to have only a flat little headscarf.  But I've also been reassured by those who can see beyond that to my other, more Progressive qualities that they would rather I wear something on my head that can fit right into their hands.  They assert that anything beyond that is just a waste.

(Or is that just something they say to get past first base?)

#96: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 5/3/2008, 7:37 am
—
Hat = oppressor of brain. Betinov is right. The lid is not hat, is manhole for Party to reach out, give care, and take according to needs.

So is KGB hat with sky blue band. You just never realized it.

#97: Author: Red Square, Location: Karl Marx Treatment Center

Posted: 5/3/2008, 7:43 am
—

Commissarka Pinkie wrote

But I've also been reassured by those who can see beyond that to my other, more Progressive qualities that they would rather I wear something on my head that can fit right into their hands.

I'm not changing your avatar to that one, no way.

#98: Author: Marshal Pupovich, Location: Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengals of LSU!

Posted: 5/3/2008, 11:35 am
—
I wouldn't touch that one with the Chairman's 10 foot pole.

Praise Lenin! At last Commissarka Pinkie has renounced the use of her signature!

#99: Author: Commissarka Pinkie, Location: FL

Posted: 5/3/2008, 12:22 pm
    —
I was talking about my headscarf.  What did Red Square and Pupovich think I was talking about?

And I forgot my signature last post because it was quite early when I made it, and I hadn't yet consumed my morning ration of vodka as I was waiting for it to finish distilling.

PINKIE

Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Best Producer of the Year, Marina Kay Cosmonautic Cosmetics
Master Planned Economics Instructor, Tank & Shovel Factory
Ranked #1 on Google for "Crimes Against Everything" Thread
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!
Save Our Cube from Yahoogroupish List Nazis!  Click Here to find out how you can help while adding frequent flyer miles to your favorite credit card!

"I like rich people.  I like the way they live.  I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

#100: Author: Ivan Betinov, Location: Kentucky

Posted: 5/3/2008, 5:18 pm
—
Pinkie, Pupovich--Due to your lack of complete agreement with my ~~semi-coherent screed~~ ~~self-pity declaration of victimhood~~ clean and articulate expression of righteous indignation, I have no choice but to denounce you as hatists. True, we have been allied in the past in the noble cause, but I had no idea what you people really stood for. You were my comrades, who raised me and nurtured me upon my arrival at the collective, but occaisionally I would hear some things that--revealing the typical prejudices of hatted people--disturbed me even then. Although I modeled myself after your precepts and found in you the guidance I needed in forming my core values, I had no idea what you were actually saying when I wasn't there. Or when I was there. But now I am here. I just hope we can put this all behind us now. As soon as you give me lots and lots of cash to compensate me for my lack of a hat.

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