Ask Hillary About Revolution

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

Empress,

I have a question.

You have to battle traitors like Obama Rama, and you have to do battle every day with the people's enemy the Republi-Nazis, and you have to keep a close eye your Comrade husband to make sure that he is keeping his pants zipped up (for a change!), HOW do you manage to juggle all of this?

--
Standing In Awe of Your Excellency,
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Dear Zampolit,

The answer to that is one word: ruthlessness.
But if you do see Ruth, give her my address.

Hillary '08

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Zampolit Blokhayev, Our Glorious Leader can juggle three balls between each set of udders, keeping up to 12 in the air at a time. That's why it took so long to find the billing records.

[Hillary]

Tsk, Tsk.....
How could you, Dr. Commissar Theocritus?
After I promoted you to "head" the CDC?
(Re: See People's Blog)


Hillary "08

[Saul Alinsky]

HOW do you manage to juggle all of this?

Dear Comrade Zampolit,

This is very easy for Comrade Hillary, Comrade Zampolit. You see, she will apply my rule #10

You do what you can with what you have and clothe it in moral garments.

My Rules for Radicals taught Comrade Hillary that she must give a moral appearance (as opposed to behaving morally): "All effective action requires the passport of morality."

At the same time, she will employ my power rules, in this case, Comrade Hillary will employ Power Rule #8

Keep the pressure on with different tactics and actions, and utilize all events of the period for your purpose.

Now, Comrade Zampolit Blokhayev, isn't this glorius - Comrade Hillary and I are paving the way to Communism! Heh! heh! heh! I can hardly wait - The destiny of all mankind.

All the best, Comrade,
Saul

[Father Prog Theocritus]

And let me posit another rule. It doesn't matter if you call it communism, environmentalism, fascism, fundamentalism of any sort--the only thing is finding something to use to terrify people--make it up if you have to. Queers are particuarly good at scaring people, and that's what I propose.

Propose yourself as the solution. Get friends to help you. Kill them for ideological imperfections. Rule.

Ah. That pleases me so much that I can't stand up. Damn. I just knocked over my desk sitting.

[Saul Alinsky]

Yes, Comrad Commissar Theocritus! Done! I will add your rule to become Rule #12!

And it compliments my Power Rule #8!

Keep the pressure on with different tactics and actions, and utilize all events of the period for your purpose.

Thank you, Comrade Commissar! Together, we will raise my former pupil (Comrade Hillay) toward global domination! Yes! Yes, Comrade! You see, Comrade, president (I can't wait to address her as Comrade First Secretary), well, her title will change as she assumes control of the upcoming North American Union.

You see, Comrade Commissar, the stage is being set - with North American Union, she gets 3 countries for 1. Ah, Comrade, I love this New World Order! Heh! heh! heh!. It warms my heart to see my former pupil rising to the top and beyond.

Propose yourself as the solution. Get friends to help you. Kill them for ideological imperfections. Rule.

Yes, indeed, Comrade Commissar! This will be such joy to watch, as my former pupil destroys her enemies with just a mere word or two.

It's POWER, Comrade Hillary - Power Power Power Yes! Seize it, control it. Use it! I love it! Destroy your opponents, Comrade! Ruin their lives! What joy!

See what you have done, Comrade Commisar! You almost caused me to lose control of my elation!

Thank you, Comrade Commissar!!! Thank you!

All the best, Comrades,
Saul

* I hope the Dear Leader, Kim Jung Il doesn't mind an occasional reference to Comrade Hillary as "our dear leader." I only wish he could be here to add his eloquent endorsement to Comrade Hillary's rapid rise to POWER and DOMINATION!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Comrade Alinsky, Kim Jung Il has left the serious pursuit of pleasure to become lost in its trappings. When his father caused, with a wiggle of his pinkie and the death of a million, the building of the Hanoi subway, He decreed that all subway trains have an empty last car in case he wanted to ride in it.

Such an astute pupil of my idol Stalin. He contented him with the Moscow subway station, with its art built on the backs of people dying in bad conditions--what? I hear you ask? I quite agree. And he had of course the empty center lanes in important Moscow highways in case he wanted to zip along in his Zhiguli or his Gli. (Although I'm told that he really had a Cadillac frame under it.)

And, dear Comrade Alinsky, have you considered the joys of endless five-year plans? I have found in my researches that troublesome people are actually better if left breathing, although I'm the first to want to keep in practice with my sidearms. I've found it very useful indeed to have all the useful idiots, er, people still struggling to attain ideological perfection, who want to stick in an oar, er, contribute to the dissemination of the ordures of the Direktorat usefully engaged in the process of determining the best way to impose my will, that is, to help implement our plans.

I have found that they are very happy if given a large building with subservient lackeys--I choose mine from gay bars where the back-biting and heirarchy is such that most time is spent with that, although the men's room does look nice and the floor is clean.

A good restaurant serving healthy food. It matters not if it is, and to save costs will be flown in from China from the same company that sold staples to the dog-food maker in Canada. But illness will not be minded for there will be a holistic healer on the hotel's staff, and there will be prizes for the bravest Commissioner du jour, who will be wheeled on to thunderous applause at his bravery, while all the members in the audience feel their bellies,hoping for a hernia, or try to conjure up a sniffle, jealous of the golden wheel-chair by Porsche.

Every commissioner will be awarded a yappy poodle trained to attack other people, and to fawn at its master's feet. This is to cut down on the supply of kulaks used up, for they do useful work. When a poodle is stomped to death for being insufficiently servile, the chef in the restaurant serving healthy food, who is an animal-husbandary scientist fired from Purina for drunkenness, will grind up the poodles in the three-phase disposals available from the Grainger catalog, and make organic tacos.

These people will, in their struggle to find perfection in expressing policy, never come to any agreement, become bogged down utterly over the shape of the matchbooks--for lighting fires of sawdust logs, of course--and let us get on with the use and enjoyment of power.

The other useful idiots will envy these people and we will have a program based on the lines of the German holiday scheme that there will be useful idiot sabbaticals to the Howard Zinn Ideological Convention, for that is what we shall call it.

Then, when all power is secured, every useful idiot will be given a grand prize to a jamboree at the Howard Zinn Ideological Convention and one of the hydrogen bombs which we only pretended to destroy at Pantex in Amarillo will really be destroyed and in a microsecond.

You bring the beer, and I'll get the coals going.

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

A good restaurant serving healthy food.

I hope it is a Smoke Free(tm) restaurant. We do want to show the proles that we care(tm). Why? Because as committed Socialists(tm) we have the "Morality Market" cornered when come to "caring(tm)".

We harass and persecute smokers, who are inferior beings, because we have a duty to use our superior education and upbringing to "care(tm)" for those who are inferior ... er ... I mean ... less fortunate than us.

Socialists are morally superior to counter-revolutionary non-people .

--
Yours in Socialist Atrocities,
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Indeed we socialists are morally superior to all other people. And that is so self-evident that as long as it is self-evident that is all that is required.

I find smoking rehensible because I <b>care</b>. ...Lupe, where's that Churchill from Habana that Fidel sent me? How's the old bugger doing? Has Raul killed him yet? No? Good. I want to go to that party with Sally Quinn and Ben Bradlee on May Day, if he's still breathing.

Gospodin Blokhayev, all that is required of observing Socialists is <i>pietas</i> and not <i>logos</i>. In other words, lip service and a blue dress to go with it. Well, the dress does nothing for me, not being interested in anyone who would wear one, but then I'm an equal-opportunity socialist moralizer.

But the point is not really the improvement of health--our Many Titted Empress understands that. The point is being as bossy as possible, er, sharing the fruits of our drunken dreams, er, selfless lucubration, ratiocination, and philosophical thought.

...Goddamn it, Lupe, would you tell that goddamned Steve Forbes to quit calling me? He ain't gonna get back those Faberge eggs. They look so good in Jim and Tammy Faye's air-conditioned doghouse.

[smersh]

GUY'S WE NEED TO CLEAN THIS UP.....COMRADE HILLARY NEEDS A FALL GUY.
VOLUTEERS ???? ANYONE ????

(CNSNews.com) - Attorneys for Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) are trying to keep her out of a lawsuit that may ultimately force her to testify under oath about an alleged violation of campaign finance laws.


Washington lawyers David Kendall and Carolyn Utrecht and Los Angeles attorney Jan B. Norman -- all representing the apparent frontrunner for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination -- filed legal briefs Friday in the California Court of Appeals focusing heavily on the criminal background of plaintiff Peter Paul, the Hollywood businessman who is suing both Bill and Hillary Clinton and others.

Paul alleges that fraudulent actions by the Clintons and others cost him his multi-million dollar Internet venture. Paul claims to have been the largest contributor to Sen. Clinton's U.S. Senate campaign, spending $1.9 million to hold a 2000 fundraising gala attended by Hollywood celebrities including Whoopi Goldberg, John Travolta and Brad Pitt.

In return, Paul claims, then-President Bill Clinton promised to promote the firm. However, the president allegedly reneged on the commitment after his wife was elected in November of that year and used his influence to discourage others from investing in the firm.

In an effort to stay out of the suit, Sen. Clinton used a California statute intended to protect a political candidate's First Amendment rights from frivolous lawsuits. A California Superior Court judge dismissed her from the lawsuit on those grounds last fall, but Paul appealed in January, contending the California statute does not protect Sen. Clinton from alleged illegal activity.

The Friday brief was a response to the appeal.

"Plaintiff's alleged 'donations'...were extremely unusual," the Clinton team's response said. "Unlike typical campaign contributions, these donations supposedly had strings attached; [the] plaintiffs claim that he financed the tribute in exchange for one year of former President Clinton's services after he left public office in January 2001."

Oral arguments will likely be made to the three-judge panel this summer on whether to release Sen. Clinton from the lawsuit, with a decision expected soon after. But the entire case could go on for much longer.

The motion goes on to describe how Paul's venture (Stan Lee Media, which he entered with comic book mogul Stan Lee) "imploded," and "in the midst of the company's financial collapse, [the] plaintiff fled the United States for Brazil."

"Not surprisingly," the brief said, "no working relationship between the plaintiff and the president ever materialized." It then details how Paul was indicted for and pleaded guilty to manipulating the company's stock price. He had two previous felony convictions, pleading guilty to fraud in the 1970s and to a drug charge in the 1980s.

Paul's past is irrelevant at this stage in the case, said his attorney, D. Colette Wilson of the United States Justice Foundation in Ramona, Calif.

The argument before the court in determining if Sen. Clinton is protected by the anti-lawsuit statutes is based on the seriousness of the charges, she said. Paul's credibility is a matter that is subject for discussion in the course of a civil trial.

"They're saying, 'Do not believe anything Peter said because he is a felon,'" Wilson told Cybercast News Service Monday.

She said the allegations he is making are more than viable, adding that part of his contention was already backed up by results of his 2001 complaint to the Federal Elections Commission.

After investigating the matter, the FEC ruled that Sen. Clinton's 2000 campaign committee underreported cash it received at the fundraising event Paul sponsored and slapped the campaign committee with a $35,000 fine. The Clinton campaign committee also amended financial reports to show Paul's share of the production costs were understated by $721,000. The legal limit for an individual to contribute was $2,000 at the time.

The fallout from the Paul's Hollywood fundraising event also led to the federal indictment of David Rosen, Sen. Clinton's finance director, who was acquitted on charges of lying to the FEC.

The three attorneys who filed the brief could not be reached for comment Friday or Monday.

In a written declaration for the court filed on April 7, 2006, Sen. Clinton said, "I have no recollection whatsoever of discussing any arrangement with him whereby he would support my campaign for the United States Senate in exchange for anything from me or then-President Clinton. I do not believe I would make such a statement because I believe I would remember such a discussion if it had occurred."

Wilson called it a classic "non-denial denial."

"She really doesn't want to go on the stand," Wilson said, adding the senator's delay tactics could drag the case right into the 2008 election cycle. "The timing could end up particularly disastrous for Hillary."

SMERSH HEAD of KGB sec. 9

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

How do you want to proceed, Comrade Smersh?

1. Eliminate this "Enemy of the People(tm)"?

2. Uncover more evidence disparaging to to this "Enemy of the People(tm)"?

3. Send this "Enemy of the People(tm)" to a re-edukation facility (i.e. The Jane Fonda Center for the Treatment of Anti-Socialist Behavior)?

4. Or perhaps our fellow travelers at the Internal Revenue Service would interested in this "Enemy of the People(tm)"?

I'm partial to Option #1. I sure some of the young Socialists that I mentor would enjoy such a learning experience.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

[smersh]

You have great ideas
Would you like a job???

I prefer the way we dealt with Vince F.

SMERSH HEAD of KGB section.9.

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

A job? Sure!

I like the way Vince F. was dealt with. Yet, I am worried that if that method is used again unwanted attention could be put on Dear Leader Hillary and The Party(tm). Speaking of which, we can get the word about this frivolous lawsuit squashed by our useful idiots ... er ... fellow travelers at ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and PBS. The only concern their are those class enemies at Fox News. I can recruit some of our brothers and sisters in Syria, Iran, Gaza, and Iraq to deliver a "little" present to each of their major news offices. One of my young proteges is from that part of the world. I'm sure she can assist us in this regard.

Now, for the problem at hand. Being the "Hollywood" type, Mr. Paul most likely has few "unusual peccadilloes". This "Enemy of the People(tm)" must be observed for several weeks in order to determine any routine patterns and what, if any, "unusual peccadilloes" he has. Since we are talking about Hollyweird, he probably has a gerbil fetish. If true, our comrades at P.E.T.A. will come in handy!

Another protege, is a young lady from The People's Socialist Republic of San Francisco. Though from the land of Comrade Pelosivich, she is quite dedicated to Her Excellency, Empress HRC. She will do nicely for this task.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

[smersh]

A job? Sure!

I like the way Vince F. was dealt with. Yet, I am worried that if that method is used again unwanted attention could be put on Dear Leader Hillary and The Party(tm). Speaking of which, we can get the word about this frivolous lawsuit squashed by our useful idiots ... er ... fellow travelers at ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and PBS. The only concern their are those class enemies at Fox News. I can recruit some of our brothers and sisters in Syria, Iran, Gaza, and Iraq to deliver a "little" present to each of their major news offices. One of my young proteges is from that part of the world. I'm sure she can assist us in this regard.

Now, for the problem at hand. Being the "Hollywood" type, Mr. Paul most likely has few "unusual peccadilloes". This "Enemy of the People(tm)" must be observed for several weeks in order to determine any routine patterns and what, if any, "unusual peccadilloes" he has. Since we are talking about Hollyweird, he probably has a gerbil fetish. If true, our comrades at P.E.T.A. will come in handy!

Another protege, is a young lady from The People's Socialist Republic of San Francisco. Though from the land of Comrade Pelosivich, she is quite dedicated to Her Excellency, Empress HRC. She will do nicely for this task.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

Thought can be a corrosive element.
In my decades of service i have learned to Never trust an Arab.
They are uselful idiots ,We all know this but you can't count on them ,for most of them can't count.
P.E.T.A, is fine.
The party is aware of your suggestions.
Keep a low profile and never do anything on your own. Talk to KGB first.
Thank you ,you most valued ass-set to Hillary 2008.

SMERSH HEAD of KGB section 9

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Gospodin, a gerbil fetish is so, like, over. There has been a leak of the Cube's secret papers and the best Beverly Hills plumbers have been working double shifts to clean sewer lines of flushed gerbils, sometimes in disreputable states, but sometimes merely flushed. And on occasion they've found Lupe, too. They're all expendable you know; mere vote fodder for us. In fact everyone not in the Cube is quite expendable. And they think that We Care ™. Oh Murgatroyd; I wet 'em.

The reasons that gerbils are no longer used is that there is a leak here at the Cube. Some of the natives at Meow's Bangladeshi sweat-shop, who are paid 25c a day, have recently been deployed from making pet-food additives to the Hildo 7.1.

Entire rooms are being built for the Hildo 7.1, and the ghost of Versace has been channeled by David Geffen to built a 7,000 square foot mansion cantilevered over Topanga Canyon. It is an ampitheater, with a latex-covered bed at the bottom for the bottom, who will be serviced by the Hildo 7.1 wielded by four 6' 6" 350' body-builders with their own designer brand of steroids, coreographed by Janet Reno.

But I repeat. I have, honest to god real personal I-didn't-want-to-believe-it-either factual data from someone who read the goddamned files that Vince Foster killed himself. No doubt he woke up and realized, "I slept with THAT?" I promise. Really. Truly. Yes. Indeed. Utterly beyond question.

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

Thought can be a corrosive element.
In my decades of service i have learned to Never trust an Arab.
They are uselful idiots ,We all know this but you can't count on them ,for most of them can't count.
P.E.T.A, is fine.
The party is aware of your suggestions.
Keep a low profile and never do anything on your own. Talk to KGB first.
Thank you ,you most valued ass-set to Hillary 2008.

But Party approved thought is a nurturing element, as I have learned.

Only trust an Arab female that has been brainwashed by way of Party approved means. This young lady has spent many days using a Party approved Hildo 7.1beta device and riding on a Symbian while being forced to watch hours and hours of "Lassie" reruns. This has achieved the desired Pavlovian effect. Besides, she is more trustworthy than Lupe. Since there is a 100% certainty that Lupe would fuck up such a mission.

I have other ideas to discuss with the KGB. Contact me on the secret channel.

--

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

Gospodin, a gerbil fetish is so, like, over.

If you have relevant intelligence already collected on Mr. Peter Paul's sexual peccadilloes, please inform Comrade Smersh, immediately.

--

[Father Prog Theocritus]

The gerbil was so over when the cell phones started buzzing about the Hildo 7.1. But--and I'll let you in on a secret--we're doing the H4 7.2! It's the Hilton Head Hildo Hydra 7.2. It's powered by the Mac OS so it doesn't crash, although there are those who think that the Blue Screen of Death gives that certain earth-shaking frisson. It doesn't last long but it's deeply moving. The only problem is that the celebrants have to keep answering "Accept" all the time when they already are quite willing to accept.

This will be inaugurated of course at Renaissance Weekend, and arrangements have been made for all the sand which is dirtied beyond repair to be carted to Hudspeth County, Texas, 25 miles south of Sierra Blanca, where they will be stored in a salt dome. This is the only known structure which will contain the mutant bacteria the size of a lobster.

[smersh]

It is easier to fuck a rampaging rino than to fucking listen to you.
Reprograming in order here. Monday morning 7 am Lubianka.
On behalf of the Great SMERSH IVAN the Terrible.handyman section 9

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Then I suggest that you do not listen to me. It's very easy to ignore the posts of someone you find tedious. There is a heading with the name of the poster. Skip to the next one.

Guess whose posts taught me this valuable skill?

But the image of congress with a rampaging rhino does amuse me. Just how is that done? KY Warming Gel?

[smersh]

Then I suggest that you do not listen to me. It's very easy to ignore the posts of someone you find tedious. There is a heading with the name of the poster. Skip to the next one.

Guess whose posts taught me this valuable skill?

But the image of congress with a rampaging rhino does amuse me. Just how is that done? KY Warming Gel?

It is done in your imagination. My little Fudge Packer / Chocolate knight.
I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ANY COMRADES. Alive or dead.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

It is done in your imagination.

It is quite beyond the bounds of my imagination. And my imagination is very fertile indeed, which sometimes causes distress.

[Red Square]

But the image of congress with a rampaging rhino does amuse me. Just how is that done? KY Warming Gel?

There's been a change. Ever since the Great October Socialist Elections the only gel prescribed to our congresspersons is the Global Warming Gel. They use it on their heads as hairstyling product to stiffen hair into a particular fashion, as alternative filling for Dr. Scholl's® Massaging Gel Heel Cushions, and on the anuses of rampaging RINOS (Republicans in name only) who on the most part are cuddly domesticated animals.

REPORTER: Hey, R.I.N.O. Congressman, sir! I just saw you being anally violated by your environmentally conscious Democrat colleague. Will you now go on a rampage?"

R.I.N.O. CONGRESSMAN: Hell no! <gives a wink, shows a tube of Global Warming Gel>

REPORTER: Oh, I see! You must be gellin'!

R.I.N.O. CONGRESSMAN: I am, that's why I'm not yellin' even though there is considerable redness and swellin'!

ANNOUNCER: Dr. Scholl's® Global Warming Gel - apply directly where it hurts!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Ah, Red, you see how much they enjoy it. I happen to have some DVDs of men engaging in activities which only a good imagination could describe as sex. Performance art is more like it, and it involves the disappearance of one man's entire arm up to the elbow. I fail to see the stimulation of it, but do see in it a powerful metaphor.

Has anyone seen Shari Lewis lately?

Perhaps the theme song for the 2006 elections ought to have been Gounod's "The Marionette's Funeral March." There was a certain Hitchcockian ambience about it. What was the episode, "The Specialty of the House"? The one in which Robert Moreley, the gourmet, constantly asked the proprietoress of a restaurant, Stavro?, a dyke, if the speciality was on? No, sir, it never was. But once he was permitted to go into the kitchen to see the chef, who came at him with a cleaver. And then the specialité de maison was on again.

What, exactly, is the composition of Dr. Scholl's® Global Warming Gel? There is a rumor that it is made of a fungus found under the roots of trees of old-growth forests.

[smersh]

But the image of congress with a rampaging rhino does amuse me. Just how is that done? KY Warming Gel?

There's been a change. Ever since the Great October Socialist Elections the only gel prescribed to our congresspersons is the Global Warming Gel. They use it on their heads as hairstyling product to stiffen hair into a particular fashion, as alternative filling for Dr. Scholl's® Massaging Gel Heel Cushions, and on the anuses of rampaging RINOS (Republicans in name only) who on the most part are cuddly domesticated animals.

REPORTER: Hey, R.I.N.O. Congressman, sir! I just saw you being anally violated by your environmentally conscious Democrat colleague. Will you now go on a rampage?"

R.I.N.O. CONGRESSMAN: Hell no! <gives a wink, shows a tube of Global Warming Gel>

REPORTER: Oh, I see! You must be gellin'!

R.I.N.O. CONGRESSMAN: I am, that's why I'm not yellin' even though there is considerable redness and swellin'!

ANNOUNCER: Dr. Scholl's® Global Warming Gel - apply directly where it hurts!

YES INDEED GLOBAL WARMING GEL. FORMERLY KNOW AS THE PEOPLES GEL WAS INDEED MADE AS A PROGRESSIVE CONCEPT PRODUCT FOR MULTIPLE PROPAGANDA USE THIS DECADE IT LOOKS LIKE THE GREEN GLOBAL WARMING DEFENSE GEL. THIS IS NOW OFFICIAL.

SMERSH HEAD of KGB section 9

[smersh]

PS At least RED SQUARE knows what a RINO is.

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

C.R.I.N.O.

Counter-Revolutionary In Name Only.

[smersh]

Commissar Theocritus

I have an idea (brilliant as usual) You... My little pencil necked red washer. You will be the perfect pick for a, long standing open position at the KGB. You are hereby chosen,,,,!
The Honor of Comrade Hillary's Personal Hygiene detail.
Congrats. lol

SMERSH HEAD of KGB section 9.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Ah yes. I'd forgotten RINO. I had assumed that they're merely moles for us. Sorry; fooled by the Brit spelling of an acronym. That's what I get for my SR-71 flights over to frolic in the crown jewels. Lilibet is really nervous about us, you know; she's getting some brownie points with the Cause. She never got over Cromwell, you see.

[smersh]

Ah yes. I'd forgotten RINO. I had assumed that they're merely moles for us. Sorry; fooled by the Brit spelling of an acronym. That's what I get for my SR-71 flights over to frolic in the crown jewels. Lilibet is really nervous about us, you know; she's getting some brownie points with the Cause. She never got over Cromwell, you see.

WELL MY FRIEND .GOOD LUCK. GET YOUR SHOTS FIRST.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Oh, I don't think that I need shots. The only problem was Dodi Fayed--did you see that ape without a shirt? I don't mind a hirsute man but he'd have to buy a two tickets to the zoo--one in and one to get out. But he died in Paris, and his old man, who bought Harrods, is still very upset about it. Or the fact that Her Majesty's Government won't give him a passport even though he stole, er, earned billions in Egyptian construction. And that Dodi, the producer of <i>Chariots of Fire</i> was sued by every landlord he had. And that that monster was shagging Diana, which tells you a lot about her, doesn't it? Goes on and on about those innocent landmines and consorts with an ape.

(Did you know that man has the largest penis of any primate? I don't know from personal experience but as I never tire of pointing out, Gennifer Flowers said that Bill was hung like a Vienna sausage.)

Now that Dodi's dead, and the Dodi-shagger is dead, all I have to worry about is Charles' ears. Now when he goes to EuroDisney, children scream, "Mama! I wanna ride Dumbo!"

[Red_Don]

My dear and divine Empress Hillary, you are the smartest PERSON (note: I didn't say woman, because like you, I don't believe in labels, like those right-wing, idiotic, Bush-loving, environment- destroying, racist, sexist, homophobic, Jew-loving, Muslim-fearing, Nazi assholes), who has ever lived.

I have the unfortunate luck of having Rethugnacons as neighbors. They are always telling me "Get a job" and "take a bath, you smelly hippie". Aside from my feelings being hurt (and we all know that the constitution guarantees that my feelings are NEVER allowed to be hurt), I get a little frustrated trying to explain to them that they're greedy, bloated Nazi-pigs for wanting to keep money that they "earned". How do I tell them that keeping money the that they "earn" is greedy, but having the government take it and redistribute it, isn't. How do I convince them that my EXPECTING the government to take thier money is not greed?

Since you are the smartest person who ever has and ever shall live, perhaps some talking points or advice on how to "convince them of the error of thier ways"?

[Hillary]

Dear Red_Don.

You need not convince them of anything that the gulag can't cure come January 2009.
At that time you'll have a job as a camp guard and you can spit in these reactionary Repukelicans faces as you escort them to the shower stalls which at that time you can remind them of the bath & smelly hippie comment.

H08

[AirMotor]

Comrade hillary...
If you are elected to Dear Leader, will you return the silverware to the Whitehouse or take it with you to the kremlin?

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Air Motor, the White House silverware and all of the gold in Fort Knox will eventually be joined with the Tower jewels, Garrads, Tiffany's, the Louvre and St. Peter's, all in a new construction in the Mall in Washington DC.

We shall tear down the phallic Washington monument and replace it with a replica of Nero's Golden Palace, which Vespasian tore down. We shall rehab the Smithsonian to include scenes of the victorious People's Revolution showing how the People have triumphed over the Kulaks who oppressed them, led by the leaders of the Glorious Revolution, Our Many Titted Empress, first among equals.

The Library of Congress contains entirely too many books--books are bad for you--but education is good for you. I think that we need to make it a re-education center for people who have not yet seen the wisdom in our peaceful march into the future.

Hold the faith, Air Motor. The age of perfect equality shall arrive. But bear in mind that some are more equal than others, and your presence here, in the Inner Sanctum, is good insurance that you shall be more equal than your next-door neighbor whose car you covet--and may just get yet.

[AirMotor]

Air Motor, the White House silverware and all of the gold in Fort Knox will eventually be joined with the Tower jewels, Garrads, Tiffany's, the Louvre and St. Peter's, all in a new construction in the Mall in Washington DC.

We shall tear down the phallic Washington monument and replace it with a replica of Nero's Golden Palace, which Vespasian tore down. We shall rehab the Smithsonian to include scenes of the victorious People's Revolution showing how the People have triumphed over the Kulaks who oppressed them, led by the leaders of the Glorious Revolution, Our Many Titted Empress, first among equals.

The Library of Congress contains entirely too many books--books are bad for you--but education is good for you. I think that we need to make it a re-education center for people who have not yet seen the wisdom in our peaceful march into the future.

Hold the faith, Air Motor. The age of perfect equality shall arrive. But bear in mind that some are more equal than others, and your presence here, in the Inner Sanctum, is good insurance that you shall be more equal than your next-door neighbor whose car you covet--and may just get yet.

Dear Commissar... you will never know how heartwarming it is for me, a simple pawn, to receive the wonderful words of wisdom and guidance from a person of stature and nobility such as yourself. For many years I had nothing, but now with the guidance of our party I have my own pine tree, and I receive my daily bowl of borsh (spelling?). Please forgive me, I promissed our Dear Leader I would no longer present a misspelled word. Please don't report me. Your loyal servant...
AirMotor

[Father Prog Theocritus]

AirMotor, now that you are in the Inner Sanctum, All Will Be Revealed. There are two types of good Communists but all strive toward perfect freedom. So many people find it confusing to do all that thinking--it makes their heads hurt. And it's so much to be responsible for yourself, isn't it? After all, ethical choices--I just sigh with pity over people who think they have to make them.

So I always advise these people to surrender to the Party. You don't have to have the responsibility of your own existence. Someone will let you not live while you're living. You don't have to bear the burden of actually being, for it's a heavy load, dear comrade, a heavy load. And it's amazing how many intellectuals feel that way after a while. All that thinking, all that worrying, and all that sense of not being able to make things right, the way they should be.

And it doesn't matter if they don't have a good plan, for the plan is what is important. The plan is good if it's strong. That's all. Darwin is right, you know. Come to the Plan. The Plan will take care of you. You never leave the embrace of the Plan.

And here, AirMotor, in the Cube, we are the plan. We know that these people want such security and the freedom from freedom. We know that choices are hard. We decide things for people. And because we work so hard, it is only mete that we get rewards for what we do.

Bear in mind that dignity is essentially a solitary pursuit. A mob has no dignity. A dignified man stands apart. There shall be no dignity for no one can rise above any other. We must all live for others. We must think what others will want and give it to themselves, and then we will have no dignity. And if we give something that people don't deserve to them, then they will not have the dignity of earning it. This will make them very angry.

And you and I, in the inner sanctum, will further undermine and destroy the dignity of all by taking things from one person and giving to another, quite arbitrarily, and we shall tell the person who is robbed that he cannot begrudge that or he is an evil RepubliKKKan, and we will tell the person that doesn't deserve it that he will get more, which means that he will become entirely dependent on us. He will become childish and demanding and not bother to try because we will tell him that he cannot succeed without us, that the deck is stacked against him by whoever we designate at the moment to be the oppressor. When we are the oppressor, pointing the finger.

<character off>
That is why I am utterly opposed to the extension of special victim status for sexual orientation; I proved those theorems, translated that Latin, wrote those compilers, utterly regardless of the fact that I happen to be gay. The bitterest thing I can imagine would be for someone to suggest that my degree in math from Rice was given to me. I worked for it.
<character on>

So, Comrade AirMotor, all party members are created equal but some are more equal than others. And do not think that everyone shares your ideas of freedom for all do not. Always say freedom. Never mean it. Except for you, and what you can get away with. For since ethics are twisted to suit, and plans change at will, and truth is what we say it is, and what is possible is right, you are not bound by honor, ethics, honestly, loyalty, kindness, or anything but your own self-interest.

Welcome.

[Dr. Idi Amin]

Comrade hillary...
If you are elected to Dear Leader, will you return the silverware to the Whitehouse or take it with you to the kremlin?

AirMotor, what kind of name is that?
The silverware will be at the Hillary's Inauguration dinner that I will be hosting. You should attend - I have invited The Dear Leader to make the speech to honor Hillary.

<img width=500 src=https://www.country-data.com/frd/cs/uganda/ug01_05a.jpg>

You people should honor my friend, Kim Jung IL, on this website.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Dr. Idi, will you make a toast to Jim Jung Il, or will you make toast out of him? And you never did tell me what your favorite sauce was for missionaries. Do Presbyterians take a sweeter one than Catholics, considering that they are more dour?

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

Do Presbyterians take a sweeter one than Catholics, considering that they are more dour?

I thought they were more sour?

Oh... wait! That's the Southern Baptists. They're the ones that are more sour.

My bad!

--

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Personally I favor for Southern Baptists Texas barbecue sauce--which has a goodly concentration of sugar. Dr. Amin is now writing a section in his cookbook for marrow dumplings, for which I'm currently in negotiation for the acquisition of the Romanoff marrow spoons.

[Dr. Idi Amin]

Dr. Idi,

You will address me properly! The only way to is us my proper title! "Your Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography."

Because I am compassionate, Commisar Theocritus, I will allow you to use my short title "Your Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada."

will you make a toast to Jim Jung Il...

Hillary will do the toast to honor the Dear Leader.

And you never did tell me what your favorite sauce was for missionaries.

Fava bean sauce!
Now, do you think, Commisar Theocritus, you could ask some intelligent questions?

Hillary may call me Big Daddy!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Fava bean sauce? How is dear Dr. Lecter? I haven't seen him since I employed him to make a change purse.

[Dr. Idi Amin]

You know what, Commissar Theocritus? I admire you. You're not just another commie puppet of this website - you speak your mind and I like that! I want you to be my guest for dinner. We have much to discuss, such as Hillary's future. There will be a place for you when I take control of this website.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Dr. Amin, I do appreciate it. I will be glad to sit at your side. But if you want someone to sit on your inside, you might let me help you with the guest list. I have personally been fattening up Michael Moore and I think he wouldn't even need too much basting.

I'd suggest spit roasting but I fear that the fat, rendered off by the heat, would cause a conflagration that could not be put out. Have you solved that problem?

Or did you have it? I've noticed that the only fat Africans are leaders of fellow states.

[Zampolit Blokhayev]

Dr. Amin, I do appreciate it. I will be glad to sit at your side. But if you want someone to sit on your inside, you might let me help you with the guest list. I have personally been fattening up Michael Moore and I think he wouldn't even need too much basting.

Theo,

Please do not forget to invite Comrade Senator Ted Kennedy! He is always a "lively" dinner party guest. Plus he has been marinating for 60 years!!! Can you imagine what that liver of his would be like? Why, it would flambe' itself!

--
Blokhayev

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Dear Zampolit, I would of course be delighted to have Senator Chappaquiddick. I cannot think how I overlooked him. Our first course shall be fois gras--and his liver will be just about right for it. If we time it right, we can use his esophogeal exsanguination to please Dr. Amin, who loves nothing better than a truly bloody blood Mary--and the booze is already in it.

I can taste it now. Paper-thin slices of fatty liver, sauteed ever so tenderly in 84% butterfat Danish butter, with so little milk solids that it doesn't even need clarifying. Now Dr. Amin and I are in disagreement: I personally think that the addition of a sprig of thyme makes all the difference but he is a true purist, that Dr. Amin. Nothing but the liver and the butter. And at times I've known him even to forego the butter.

But once I was honored to be present at a feast given by Dr. Amin for Our Many Titted Empress, and on the guest list was Mr. Reno.

They didn't even bother with cooking the liver. Mr. Reno used her powerful jaw to disembowel the peasant who'd been forcefed a gallon of Everclear a day for a year, and then our MTE threw Mr. Reno on his back.

Who was happy to oblige, thinking that the Hildo Hydra 7.1 was on offer, but when her hooves were in the air, Dr. Idi and Our MTE merely impaled the liver on her hooves and they did a dance in honor of the Goddess Gaia around the liver, to the tune of "The Internationale" and ate raw chunks off it.

That was, by the way, the time that Ira Magaziner got his inspiration for Hillarycare.

[Dr. Idi Amin]

My dear Commissar Theocritus,
you must know, by now, that I value our friendship. I want you to come to work for me as the head chef! Your cooking skills will not go un-noticed. Why, we may even have a "Hells Kitchen" type cooking competition to honor your arrival!

[Red Square]

Dear Comrade Amin Dada:

I believe these quotes belong to you. If this is truly so, you rightfully deserve a special "Ask Idi Amin" thread on this site.

IDI AMIN QUOTES:

I want your heart. I want to eat your children.

I ate them before they ate me.

I have also eaten human meat. It is very salty. Even more salty then
leopard meat.

I myself consider myself the most powerful figure in the world.

I am the hero of Africa.

If we knew the meaning to everything that is happening to us, then there would be no meaning.

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am thinking.

You cannot run faster than a bullet.

We Ugandans hope that the great United States of America does not
continue to use its enormous resources, especially its military might,
to destroy human life on earth.

=============================
Some of your most memorable speeches include one after a luncheon hosted by the Queen in London in his honor:

"Mr Queen, Sir, Horrible Ministers, invented guests, ladies under
gentlemen. I thank the Queen very plenty for what he has done to me. I
tell you, I have eaten so much that I am now fed up with malicious
meal.

Before I continue, I would kindly ask you to open the windows so that
the climate may get in plenty. But before I go back I must invert Mr
Queen to my country and I can assure you, Mr Queen that when you
come, I shall revenge to you. You will eat a full cow and I will work very
difficult to make sure that you will come back with a very full stomach.

For now I am sorry that I have just made a short call on you. The next
time I will make a long one possible for a full moon. Thank you for
letting me undress you in front of all the disgusting people."

(Do you notice how Idi refers to Mr. Queen as we here refer to Mr. Reno and some of us to the Many-Titted Emperor?)

[Dr. Idi Amin]

Dear Comrade Amin Dada:

You will address me properly! I am not a comrade!!! The only way to is use my proper title! "Your Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography."

I believe these quotes belong to you. If this is truly so, you rightfully deserve a special "Ask Idi Amin" thread on this site.

Yes, yes, yes, yes,
There will be such a thread as soon as I take control of this website. I will give you a deadline to send me the admin password. There will be a big banquet to honor the passing of the password, you will sit at my table!
I expect Hillary to carry a copy of my famous quotes to guide her to victory.

I present this button to Hillary to wear at all times!!!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Uh, Dr. Amin, I was lost in my thoughts, oh hell, in my basement trying something that Bruno insisted on, and missed your invitation to be your personal chef, which I accept with pleasure.

I have an idea. Since you have so decimated the population of Uganda, then we will need a new source of meat. I suggest that we harvest the Gorelags, which will be full of Useful Idiots™. Since they are fed on tofu and other indigestible things their cholesterol ought to be good for your heart--had you one which worked for I hate to break the news to you, dear Dr. Idi, but you are, er, in point of fact, rather, er, dead.

Which doesn't mean that I won't enjoy a good fry-up of useful idiots.

May I bring my AllClad and Sabatier?

[Dr. Idi Amin]

My Dear Commissar Theocritus,

...and missed your invitation to be your personal chef, which I accept with pleasure.

Excellent, my friend, excellent!!

I have an idea. Since you have so decimated the population of Uganda, then we will need a new source of meat. I suggest that we harvest the Gorelags, which will be full of Useful Idiots™.

Yes, yes, of course. As my personal chef, I'm sure you will have many excellent ideas.

you are, er, in point of fact, rather, er, dead.

Ha! ha! ha! My dear Commissar Theocritus. I will let you in on some rather good news! That was my "body double!" Ha! ha! As soon as Hillary is sworn in as president, she will grant me political asylum, amnesty, and a place on her cabnet! You see, Commissar Theocritus, Hillary has selected me as her Minister of Defence! Ha! ha! ha! Rather good for a non-communist, don't you agree, Commissar Theocritus?

May I bring my AllClad and Sabatier?

Yes, yes, yes, of course! You will be appointed Hillary's head chef, after you cook for me for a while! You will be most rewarded!!!

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

Better watch him, Theocritus. He might being trying to eat you! Last time I had dinner with Dr. Amin (no, I'm not addressing you by rank and title) the fat SOB stuck a fork in my arm while giggling. Luckily for me I popped an aspirin in his drink earlier and told him it was tainted... sure enough he started freaking out and ran to the bathroom to throw up. It was then I made my escape... after I stole whatever cash he had laying around and a few jade figurines of some value.... oh, and the mink coat he bought for his wife... oh, and the crystal, I took the crystal as well.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Meow, your sticky fingers will be your undoing. I'm still beating Bruno for not watching that Hummel that H8 broke that you bawled over like <i>you'd</i> been the one who stole it originally. Oh, you stole it but I stole it first. I have pride of theft, you know.

But I know what you mean about Idi. In truth I'm fattening him up to solve the Global Warming problem. You and I know all that hysteria about Global Warming™ is just so much humbug. Utter bullshit for the dupes at the NYT and CBS, and my lord how NPR eats that stuff up--when they get together and talk about it you're convinced it's not their chins they're pulling.

When I put another #300 on him, I'm going to set him on fire, which really will increase the temperature of the world, and that will let me frighten people and get more of their lovely money. And by the time that I have it, he'll have burned out. That'll take about a year, I figure--have you seen him lately?

[Mikhail T. Kalashnikov]

...As soon as Hillary is sworn in as president, she will grant me political asylum, amnesty, and a place on her cabnet! You see, Commissar Theocritus, Hillary has selected me as her Minister of Defence! Ha! ha! ha! Rather good for a non-communist, don't you agree....

His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, Victorious Cross recipient, Distinguished Service Order (DSO) Award Winner, Military Cross (MC) award for gallantry recipient, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire (CBE), I am delighted to know that one of my best customers is still among us!



May I just extend my hand in solidarity to one of the finest soldiers I have had the honor of sharing the same planet with. Please do not hesitate to contact one of our sales representatives if you have any materiel requirements. I'm confident the Party™ will re-open your contract with all prior discounts in place.

I trust that when you become Minister of Defense, the size of the army will be increased, and much of the country's budget may be diverted from civilian to military spending. Military tribunals will be placed above the civil courts, soldiers appointed to top government posts, parliament dissolved and civilian Cabinet ministers informed that they will be subject to military discipline (also known as "Against the Wall") much as it was in your beloved Uganda. I still think that your people need you.

However, I believe that the children of Amerika need you also, and will serve you well, for the disadvantaged black youth here are easily manipulated, intensely loyal, fearless and, most important, in endless supply.




Best regards, and hoping to do business again soon,
-General Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

[Father Prog Theocritus]

General Kalasnikov, Dr. Idi has you on the guest list for his next feed.

Eat well before you come. I'll be doing the cooking.

Eat well before you come.

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

Prior discounts in place!?!? PRIOR DISCOUNTS IN PLACE!?! Are you mad, Mikhail?? If anything these weapons...errr...errhhhmmm.... these "liberating machines of People's justice" need to be shipped to the Middle East to fend of the American Empire. We have a winning chance in the ME! We are one Hollywood movie within victory! SOCIALISM IS UPON US! THE PROGRESSIVE WORLD OF NEXT TUESDAY WILL INDEED HAPPEN NEXT TUESDAY (so dig faster, proles! Put some muscle into it already!).

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Meow, he's setting up a camp for harvesting body parts. Don't you remember when we formed that JV? Or were you polishing your Hummels. Well you won't do that any more.

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

I was polishing my Hummels... my... my... my Hummels!! BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAA! MY HUMMELS!! <wiping tears> I'm OK... I'm fine... I'm sure I can replace some of them... I'm sure I might find some on E-Bay. OK, stay strong, Meow. Stay strong. They are just collectibles. Nothing special. Not like the East German Politburo gave you a few of them or anything...... BWAAAAHHAAAAAHAAAAAAA! SHE BROKE THE ONE GIVEN TO ME BY WALTER ULBRICHT! WALTER ULBRICHT, THEOCRITUS! Oh my Stalin.... deep breaths, Meow. Deep breaths... remember what your therapist told you. Yes, before you slept with her and sent the video to her parents... and before she filed a restraining order against you... and before you took a nine-iron to her BMW and sold her cat to that lovely little Chinese restaurant that smells like sweaty socks... phew, OK, I'm better now.

[Dr. Idi Amin]

Thank you, General Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, for your compliments.

Today I learned that Hillary will enforce her health care plan for the masses! Such good news; It's gratifying - I prefer healthy, er, ahem, I'm delighted that Hillary will keep her subjects healthy.

Body parts? That's for Hillary's Chinese comrades! Ha! ha! ha! Funny, eh? The victim wakes up in a bath-tub filled with ice, kidneys gone, and he gets a cell phone to call 911! Commissar Theocritus, perhaps you will be so kind as to cook some kidney pie at Hillary's inauguration?

All the best!

[Mikhail T. Kalashnikov]

Prior discounts in place!?!? PRIOR DISCOUNTS IN PLACE!?! Are you mad, Mikhail??

I'm sorry to disagree with you Chairman, but I believe that the volume of arms purchased will offset any "discounts" we have previously set. (And Dr. Amin is on our Platinum Account, as well)

If anything these weapons...errr...errhhhmmm.... these "liberating machines of People's justice"....

I prefer "The Revolutionary's Tool", myself.

....need to be shipped to the Middle East to fend of the American Empire.

Fear not, Chairman, We have plenty of Avtomat Kalashnikova to go around - why even the children can have them! And as for the Middle East, Terrorists also want to use simple and reliable arms, so they are shipped there by the train load daily.

Eat well before you come.

Believe me, I will.

Thank you and Long Live The Party.
-Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

[Father Prog Theocritus]

General Kalashnikov, please do not say the revolutionary tool where Our Many Titted Empress might hear it. She has been on my ass to develop such a thing.

And General I was perhaps overly cautious; I'm sure I shall prepare something toothsome for your palette...Dr. Amin? Stop that...General, Dr. Amin sets and excellent table and you will...what!?...enjoy it, especially the wines. Yes, the wines. The very best wines.

So I can be the perfect sommelier, what is your blood type?

[Mikhail T. Kalashnikov]

...especially the wines. Yes, the wines. The very best wines.

So I can be the perfect sommelier, what is your blood type?

I'm afraid all I drink is vodka. And just to be clear, I'll be bringing my 'Lead Salad Shooter' along, just in case.




Besides, His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, Victorious Cross recipient, Distinguished Service Order (DSO) Award Winner, Military Cross (MC) award for gallantry recipient, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire (CBE) and I go way back (and he hasn't eaten me yet), in fact, back in '72 we had quite the professional relationship.

I remember well when so many corpses were thrown into the Nile that workers at one location had to continuously fish them out to stop the intake ducts at a nearby dam from becoming clogged. Good times...

And that time that the Good Doctor forced white residents of Kampala to carry him on a throne then kneel before him and recite an oath of loyalty - genius, pure genius.

Well, I digress. And I must get back to my duties.
Best regards,
-General Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

[Hillary]

Idi is so yesterday news.

I was talking to Bobby Mugabe the other day and he said Uganda is not half the socialist paradise Zimbabwe is.
Besides, when was the last time he hung out with Mahmoud?
Hugo? Fidel? Kim?
He needs to get out more and smell the corpses....I mean roses.
I need a real socialist, not just a cannibal wannabe Mugabe.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Empress, a cannibal is merely an embryonic socialist. With time he will earn what Kruschev said: "When you skin them you have to leave enough so that it will grow back." Idi can have his little fun, you know--what are a few hundred proles between friends? But when a cannibal grows up, be becomes a socialist. You can only kill someone once, you know, but you can tax him 24/7.

Working on 24/8, Empress, I'm working.

[Union Boss]

Afternoon your Socialistness,

Say Hill, I listened to a really good song today. Its an oldie, by Iron Maiden (any relation?) Remember Number of the Beast? This is the song that fortold of your future as President. Its all here in black and white. Had Manson been out of prison to groove to this track, he would definately become a HillRaiser. I think this little diddy would make a fantastic campaign tune. Here are the lyrics. Download it if doesn't ring a bell, then get back to me cuz I want to know if I should put it on my website along with your picture.

Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the
beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and
sixty six."

I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

What did I see can I believe that what I saw
that night was real and not just fantasy

Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
reflections of my warped mind staring back at me

'Cos in my dream it's always there the evil face that twists my mind
and brings me to despair

The night was black was no use holding back
'Cos I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was this all for real or some kind of hell
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun Satan's work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream
But I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerise me ... can't avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me

I'm coming back I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take it's course

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Union Boss, Our Many Titted Empress will of course be much appreciative of your attempt to add to her luster. And she has instructed me, in her enchanting way of having the earth crack at Rancho del Rio Grande to expose tongues of flame, that she is now in the Infernal Regions having a throw-down with Lucifer. It seems that Lucifer had, in an attempt to cut down on policing, introduced into hell a system of rewards and punishments.

Which Our Many Titted Empress would have none of. If actions have consequences, she raged, "What's all my work come to then it's not <i>entirely fucking arbitrary</i>?"

With this she broke the rest of Meow's Hummels and all my Lalique.

[Parasite]

Comrade Clinton - Your Personal Physician asked that I forward this to you post-haste. Good news indeed, Comrade. - P

23 Sept

Comrade Clinton,

Greetings, and please accept my apologies for disclosing sensitive medical information on such a public forum, but the substance of this communication will be of great interest to you and my attempts to secure a means of communication with you of a more private nature have failed. What's more, all information, "private" or otherwise belongs to the People. Actually, the Party, but I digress.

As I'm sure you are aware, the technology needed for the test is unavailable to us, so we must employ the ingenuity of capitalists for the same. The results are in from the lab in Groton, CT, USA.

I'm pleased to report, Comrade Hillary, that the lump in your scrotum has come back benign. A great day for the revolution, I'm sure you'd agree.

In Lenin,

Dr. Koloff

[Publius Valerius]

Dear HiLIARly,

What ever happened to that "vast right wing conspiracy"?



Publius

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Publius, it's still there and it's the reason that her ass is so fat. It makes the sun come up 15 minutes early when she wants to sleep, and it was only the VRWC that kept her from making even more in cattle trades.

[Publius Valerius]

Citizen Theocritus,

I had previously thought that Mrs. Clintons fat ass caused the earth to wobble on its axis. Thank you for correcting me on this astronomical mistake. Would HiLIARly then be to source of the expression, "crack of dawn"?

Publius

[Father Prog Theocritus]

I would rather think the Crack of Doom.

I have noticed that when Mrs. Clinton flies from coast to coast she disturbs the moon in its orbits and hence the tides. Once I saw her on a stage, which was also holding Michael Moore and for the event was made of rebar-reinforced concrete, and she dropped a sandwich.

Which went into orbit around her ass, and Michael Moore was moving the fastest he ever did trying to snap at it to eat it.

[Publius Valerius]

Michael Moore, now there's an ass... er.......blackhole!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

He is now producing tin-foil hats that look like baseball caps.

[Publius Valerius]

Citizen Theocritus,


I had heard that Michael Moore was seriously injured bending over to accomodate the Liberal wing of the DeMAOcratic party? Another rumor going around is that he he was "rear ended" in San Francisco? In any event, it appears his next mockumentary, "Capitilism is for Goobers", will be delayed!

Publius

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Publius, it's not the actual rear-ending that makes Comrade Moore so dear to my heart. He could be receptive of nuclear weapons for all I care. It's his figurative stance of being the biggest and meanest sadomasochistic top on earth.

That's why I love him. #400 of man, and all lies. Gotta love that in a comrade.

[Cradle to Grave Marxist]

Dear Comrade Party Leader Hillary,

Now that you are less busy with own campaign, I would like to ask a question of you. I know it is a technikal question, but I hesitate to ask Comrade IT guy, Algore, as I do not want to be responsible for increase in his carbon feet by answering question. I only ask you now, because I am emboldened by Comrade Speaker Nancy's brilliant victory this week in causing the economic ruin of the world-wide capitalist markets AND getting the neo-cons to accept blame for it and failure to fix.

In my Manual of Arms for my Mosin rifle, Nastavlenie po Strelkovomu Delu; Vintovka obr. 1891/30 g. i Karabiny obr. 1938 g. i 1944 g., The Ministry of Defense of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics mandates that I check the sighting of my rifle at 100 m target but set the sights for 300 m and aim 17 cm below impact point--my question is how will this effect my availability for selection to firing squad duties?



My apologies for interrupting you with this trivial matter, I would normally ask Comrade Kalashnikov since he still works at the Izhevsk armory, but I fear that His Excellency Putin has Mikail on covert operations in Poland scouting out recent imperialist missile sights.

On a more personal note for you, I am sorry to hear about Bill.

вы



Comrade “Pul”
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Pul! Pul! WTF? You mean <i>you're</i> getting firing-squad duties? I've begged that bitch for firing-squad duties and she'd just lie back in my courtyard and laugh and laugh and say, "Theo, dear. Dear Theo. Rub my trotters. They itch so. And then I'll consider giving you firing-squad duties."

If you, Pul, get firing-squad duties before I do, I'll turn the Hildo Hydra Turbo 7.1 on you and only Katie Couric has withstood that one. Even Sheila Jackson Lee blenched and ran in terror.

[Cradle to Grave Marxist]

My Dearest Comrade Commissar Theo,

Relax, I am only concerned about maintaining my availability to stand on the correct side of the firing line.

Like you, I whole heartedly believe in the equality of our fair social political system, with the proper amount of butt-kissing. I am sure that you are still on the top of our Comrade Party Leader Hillary's list for firing squad when purge season starts.

And again, I mean no disrespect of you, or your amazing Hildo Hydra Turbo 7.1. So in glorious fraternity I am keeping my sights on you, Comrade.



Comrade “Pul”
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

[Father Prog Theocritus]

So in glorious fraternity I am keeping my sights on you, Comrade.

You learn fast. And how quickly they grow up.

Once I had a mother...