Mainstream Media's Mystery Letter of the Day: "D"

D, as in "Don't Drag Down Democrats".

Still isn't as bad as the "W" key.

So 'D' in the new "C" which is still not bad as the almighty "W" ... Ouch my head hurts....

Here is a more complete set of rules for using 'D', 'W' and 'R' in news reporting:

Good News:
If at all possible, apply the 'D' label liberally [pun not intended].

If it isn't possible (i.e. surge is working), simply don't report it.

Bad News:
It is almost always possible to apply both 'W' and 'R' to news and pictures of death, destruction, global warming, economic downturn, etc. Be creative!

Apply the letter 'D' only when talking about how the world used to be/should be/could be, or when talking about change (it is also appropriate to throw in the name 'Obama' when talking about change).

Good technique and proper form will help develop your news story more fully. For instance, when there is a Democratic sex scandal, make sure to mention Republican sex scandals together with multiple R's. The following illustrates an appropriate way to report about the Eliot Spitzer scandal:

Gov. Spitzer apparently likes hookers. But lets recall Republican Mark Foley (R), who likes young boys.

Note the effective use of two capital R's in one sentence, as well as the complete lack of any D's, capital or otherwise.

If there is a Republican sex scandal, make sure to mention all previous Republican sex scandals. This doubles the number of R's we can fit in a column instantly.

Following these tips will lead to a successful (if worthless) career on the Daily Kos or similar blog, and you will be a shoe-in for the New York Times.


-Pav

So that's how it works... ingenious....

Let us not forget. If a Republican (R) does something wrong, they knew full well what they were doing. If McDermott (-) goes to "the Iraq" on Saddam's money, he was tricked into it...surely by Hitler (R) or W Bush (R).

Kwame Kilpatrick is my hero.

Some KGB operatives of my acquaintance tell me the repugliKKKans are incessantly demanding that the "D" stands for "dork," and eliminating the designation prevents encouraging them.

What is "dork?"

Have you been to Kwame's website yet!? OH MAH STALIN! It is like sooo cool. It is totally a pantload of Kwame! I literally had Kwame running down my legs when I saw his website! It was like... It was like drinking a glass of Metamucil and then sitting on the pot to push out good formed Kwame which promotes good health and digestion.

Here is his website: http://www.kilpatrick2005.com/

Look at how diverse his "mayor team" is: http://www.kilpatrick2005.com/team.html

Yes, I forgot the number one rule of progressive reporting: mention Republicans (R) and Hitler (R) in the same sentence. For some reason, we don't mention the ultimate progressive Great Stalin alongside our prominent progressives Hitlery and Osama, um, I mean Hillary and Obama. Perhaps Stalin's valiant record of providing hope, change, and the most progressive policies ever makes us weep with sorrow when we realize he is no longer with us. That must be it.


-Pav

Aren't Hitler and Bush one and the same?

Bush is supposed to be stupid, born digitally lobotomized, without a brain.  And that's why, for years, there's always been this talk about how they saved Hitler's brain.  It was transplanted into Bush's head, thus creating this murderous mutant monster named Bu$hitler, The Worst Human Being Who Ever Lived.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0265870/

Hollywood desperately needs to do a remake of this movie as a documentary.  I'll bet it would win lots of Oscars!

That would be Bushtler. Adolf Bushtler.

CORRECTION:

Technically, that would be Adolf W. Bushtler

Speaking of which, some fresh HBO for Pinkie (from one friendly Zombie):




We wonder, though, if she really has had sex with Bush and hated it as her sign indicates. Why in the world would a good progressive person do in the sack with Bush? Or dooes she rely on some inside information from the White House? A leak from the State Department, perhaps?

Or does she mean that to be a metaphor - as in "Bush has screwed us all"? But if Bush did a lousy job at that, what seems to be the problem? There's no logic there.

So perhaps our first guess was correct. This protester apparently represents a working collective of disgruntled prostitutes of theEmbarcadero district who serviced Bush at some point of time and rated his performance as"lousy." That also explains the plural "we" on the sign.

She has nice 'smiles'. Ahem obviously she has had intercourse with soon to be former President of United States of Amerikkka. She may have noticed tendency not to withdraw when challenged and felt he went too far, da?
Power to the troddendown and Dutch Lawmakers who post Anti Koran Film on internet.

OH MAH STALIN! That protestor has a lit CIGARETTE! SHE IS SMOKING IN PUBLIC! ARREST HER! ARREST THE SMOKER! ARREST HER, NOW!



Do you see the cancer stick she is holding!? DO YOU SEE IT! How dare she... how dare she pollute her fellow progressive's lungs!

Ugh... I need my Kwame fix after seeing that display of intolerance!



Yes... much better. naelc, spoc, sdik. Brilliant!

That should be the new Party Slogan.

-Mikhail

thats gotta be a pchop

Nah, I think the idiots just flipped the image and didn't pay attention to the text. Either that, or the banner was hung backwards to begin with. Either way, nobody in the Kwame camp noticed. Or they thought those were some fancy cracker words they aren't required to understand.


Gort, Klaatu barada nikto

Which is a subliminal coded message that makes you crave for the "Gore-Clinton-Obama ticket."

new party poster:

That Kwame picture with the banner is off his 2005 campaign website. It is kind of sad that they have a picture of their candidate standing in front of a botched banner job on his re-election website TO THIS DAY. You would think they would remove such an embarassing image... but, maybe Red is right and they think it is fancy crackerspeak and therefore acceptable.

NAELC, SPOC, SDIK!

P.S - These Algore rumors of his political resurrection would make a fitting piece in the Book of Goremon. I guess since Gore is being "ressurected" that could only mean that Obama is the Anti-Gore and the false prophet of HOPE and CHANGE.

Chairman as a lone dissident I MUST point out the incredible diversity of this team (D):

How can you not see the AA people (D) of different ages (D), AND the fact that there are several sexes (D) on display?  

There are also AA's (D) that are married, married with ho's (D), unmarried (D), and unmarried with ho's (D).

There are AA's that are indicted (D), yet to be indicted (D), and never indicted (D) because they couldn't prove it.


This is LIBERAL DIVERSITY TAKEN TO ITS ULTIMATE GOAL!  Any Democrat may serve on the team as long as they fit the exact mold required.
  
NOTE TO OBSERVERS CONCERNING THE USE OF AA - AA can equal:
1.  African American  (AA)
2.  Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
3.  Arrogant Asses (AA)
4.  All Above (AA)

CDEDBDB?

I dunno, Comrade Punchenko.  His music needs a serious blackitude infusion.  Maybe some Hendrix, or Miles Davis, or Lenny Kravitz.  That's just too "gee I'm a white fellow in the elevator going down to the pencil collectors convention!"

I submit that once this comrade is jailed for her unprogressive inhalation of burning nicotine pollutants that she needs to set down for party perusal and approval a minutely detailed account of exactly what she considers to be a good fuck

She will drive you into a Hate Bush Orgasm (aka HBO) for only $20 a pop.

"Me hate Bush long time..."

It's all fair game, and I think this progressive womyn has earned the right to join the glorious collective of cardboard cutouts in the People's Cube closet.

Flat Gareth finally finds his match on eHarmony.com!

Meet Flat Floozy!

You may argue that she is actually a Not-So-Flat Floozy - but we can all agree she and Gareth are a great match in at least two dimentions of compatibility.


Unlike Flat Gareth whose sign never changes, Flat Floozy's sign is subject to CHANGE.

Perhaps Flat Floozy deserves an editorial in the Current Truth section. What's her story?

For starters, her parents are probably rich, or at least they were until they gave her a boob job for a graduation present, and sent her off to college.  They loved little Floozy and wanted her to have it all, instead of working for it like their own parents did.       

Alas, they couldn't afford to buy health insurance after all their other expenses (paying the leases on the his-and-hers SUVs, premium cable bill, cell phones for themselves, all five kids, and Grandma who lives in the recently remodeled guest quarters watching HSN all day); they made too much to qualify for Medicaid; and what HMO covers boob jobs, anyway?  

Families shouldn't have to face such tough choices.  Bush spends billions of dollars sending billions of troops to Iraq, while families here at home have to choose between buying their teenage daughter a boob job or a brand new sports car, when they should be able to give her both, and whatever else she wants.  That's just one of the many things wrong with this country that Floozy hopes to fix by calling everyone's attention to it.

America should be about getting what you want.  All you want.  Now.  

I'd welcome both her and Gareth on our ledge.  

She appears to have a dog.  Pupovich?

Dem B Dubba Dees

Fo Shore!

Fitty Foe!

You know, I must be very sheltered b/c only recently did I discover that there really are some people in the world like this:



or this



I always grew up with the idea that acting decently with self-control and learning had to handle hardship and deprivation were ideals to be extolled.  I must be very out of touch with the modern collective zeitgeist.

Those are some f**ked up people.  Those girls are gonna be screwed when their parents can't pamper them anymore.

And I'd still preferr my half-dead 280z to a Lexus.

<karakter_off>
How disturbing is that??? I think I worked harder before I was 10 than these two bimbos combined will work their entire lives. The sad thing is, many parents are  - if maybe not that extreme - far too willing to give their children everything they want. And we keep wondering why the country is sliding to the Left...and into the toilet.

-Mikhail

wait til REALITY smacks those ho's with five across the eyes...they'll be shocked...may they both meat (meet?) a classic "Kid Rock" kinda guy replete with wife-beaters and booze...eheh warms my little heart just thinking of it...

Man, that is so far-fetched. "Decency", "self-control", you clever satirists kill me. Work is for Republikans. For the rest of us, it's Santa Claus every day.

Begging your pardon, Red Bubba, but Abcedarius Rex is the one who said that.  In the meantime, I'd like to know where he's digging up all these videos of my youngest sister.

Thankfully no one has to worry about them. Once they find some rich man to live off they'll be totally independent from their parents! All they'll have to do is give him that icky sex every few weeks and she can keep sparkling. It all works out.

And then she gets pregnant....

Can you imagine these tasteless tarts ten years from now?  The horror...

Premier Betty, well said.  A half-dead 280z is half alive, and far more fitting transportation for the proletariat than that decadent truffle of an automobile.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sVzaQ-Keta0

I hope to do something like that to mine eventually.  Only using a Ford small block instead of a Chevy.  I'm not sure if the one in the video is a 240 or a 280.  The bumper definitely looked like a 240's because it's smaller which brings up the question of that car being a Scarab or not.  Very few Scarabs came with manual transmissions unfortunatly.

I am perfectly happy with the '58 Trabant I got with my state voucher. I even have a new tape deck with the Steppenwolf.

this place is I N S A N E !!!!!!!   but if her majesty clinton wins/steals this election, well...............you ain't seen nothing yet.         you can say "goodbye to your money(taxes),guns,and what few freedoms we still have left

Does the Chairman have a crush?

It almost sounds as if you wish that he were running instead of Her Majesty.

Of course comrade, this is our goal.  We re-distribute the wealth (making this country into a thrid-world country), take the guns (so you have no means to protect yourself), and your freedoms (freedoms? who needs freedom when you have the state taking care of you?)



In the end, one centeralized goverment controlling everything from what you eat to how you breath.  This is our goal.

  All news media peoples,come in to Lenin 'n Thingies for bright, shiny new D's.
We have vast collection of D's for all your D needs(maybe vast is stretching truth).
Mention Glorious Cube Birthday and receive discount.

I denounce Betty for supporting Global Cannibalism...

LIESSS!!!!!  I haven't done anything yet!  I have not taken action at this point in time!  I will after the revolution and I can get anything I want for free.

Da. Hoping you have good Party dental plan.
Power to troddendown and turn coat superdelegate from NM and NJ.

Half-drunk Randy Rhodes publicly calls Ferraro and Clinton big F***G whores, gets purged from Air America Radio, loses communist party membership, and receives a blunt shovel pending future job orientation.

Randy who?

This would be no big deal if only she'd said it while doing her show on Air America, because no one would've heard it.

These flat floozy, she is probably of the unfortunate ones... as tiny bebé, shipped off from the glorious People's Paradise Of Vietcongs by her traitorous parents after the gringo war of opresión... forced to live these wretched life under the iron thumb of usa capitalist greed.  

I feel mucho sadness for these floozy. Exploited by the evil bush, for cheap, inhuman pleasures, then cast aside as used preservativo. And now, she is reduced to carry these sign announcing her pechos for sale like cheap fruit in a filthy capitalist market.

I denounce Pinkie for denouncing Miss...  What was her name again?

(I never realized how much denouncing a comrade could make one feel better about one's pathetic self...)

Wait... who is that and what the hell is she doing?

Yes, denouncing gets tiring after a while, but if you keep at it you will soon go numb to the guilt you feel for those you have unfairly denounced and all will be well.

I denounce you, Betty. I also denounce all persons/places/things sitting/standing to the right of you.

What?!?  What did I do?  I don't deserve this!!!  I want my rich parents to come and save me from this mean denouncing!  Stop denouncing me!!!

WWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I already denounced your rich parents, Betty. No one can save you now... that is... of course... unless you were to help Madame Speaker by assisting her with her monthly enema <GASP>. I know! The horror! Run! Run into the hills - preferably Aspen - and never come back again! Save yourself! SAVE YOURSELF!

AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUN AWAY!!!  RUN VERY AWAY!!!!

Sweden is no longer safe!  I shall now move to Switzerland!  There I will be safe and still able to do all the things I did back in Sweden!

No enema!!!

Fire hose?  Check.  Bucket?  Check.  Industrial vacuum cleaner?  Check.  Fly paper?  Check.  Let's see...  I know I left the anal intruder around here somewhere...  Ah, yes!  Here it is!

I propose we equip Betty and send him in as punishment for the thought crime of fantisizing about Global Cannibalism.  After this, he'll never be able to fantisize commit thought crimes again.  All in favor say, "Da!"

(BTW, Betty, where did you think they get the main component of Hot Pocket filling from, anyway?)

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Never will I do it!  Never, you hear NEVER!!!!  Cobra Commander will protect me from this vileness!  COBRA!!!

You'll never take me alive!!!!

[boards plane to Switzerland]

And they told me Hot Pockets were made out of kitties!  Why can no one give me a straight answer?!?  First it's people, then its kitties, now its Nancy chocolate!  STOP CONFUSING ME!!!  I DONT DESERVE IT!!!!

I nominate Dr. Dean if Premier Betty is unavailable. His mishandling of this whole superdelegate predicament is surely grounds for requital, no? Like saving hotel rooms for insubordinate apparatchiki has ever solved anything...pffft...

-Mikhail

I said Nancy chocolate is the "main component."  Some of the more chunky parts of Hot Pocket filling are still from kitty meat, people, rat hairballs, and cockroach grubs.  Bon appétit!

Has he boarded the plane yet?  Splendid!  You see, Betty, Cobra Commander was in on it all along.  Weren't you taught in the KMTC to never trust anybody?  Madam Speaker will be eagerly awaiting your arrival to the airstrip servicing her private, secluded, fenced and guarded Swiss compound.  Do you like Swiss chocolatey scat, Betty?  Don't think of it as runny.  Think of it as Deluxe Swiss Miss hot cocoa with all of the clumps not quite stirred out.

Beware the "marshmallows."

Perhaps Premier Betty would benefit more from a struggle session at one of our re-education camps.  Such a taste for kitty meat Hot Pockets deserves the strongest form of revenge correction.   We have some kitties from Siberia in our compound, and it will be most amusing to watch him give one of them an enema.  Meeee-ow!

And where is that criminal, Bush?  He must be executed for such violence and hatred against poor kitten in mouth.  He thinks "a kitty in the hand is worth two in the bush" but it is him who will be handed over to the People for justice.

But it would betray my love for the People to allow my first post to simply be a correction of errant doctrine and beastly manners.  It is truly a privilege to rub up against such a fine assembly of comrades in paws.  Thank you.  Now to my Kibbles N Bits...

What? What do you want?

Bush and Cheney prosecuted for their crimes.  And my Kibbles 'n Bits, or perhaps Friskies...served warm over rice.  Then a nap...

I just got word that Betty's finished...



...and, surprisingly, he's still smiling!

(Sorry, guys.  I haven't had photoshop since grad school.)

You peoples are very funny(sort of sick,but very funny), I mean this sincerely.

Haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thanks

From the ever watchful NewsBusters.org:

Dem Label Still AWOL for Blagojevich in ChiTrib, Sun-Times Coverage

And another...

NY Post Silent on NYC Council Speaker's Party Affiliation

And NY Post is not exactly a Democrat-friendly paper. But they have all kinds of reporters working there, and sometimes you can feel the liberal goo seeping through those lines, which may be sitting right next to an article written by Michelle Malkin or some other conservative author. Let's call it "mixed medium." After all, it's a semi-tabloid.

This is opposed to NY Times, which is a purely liberal medium - no impurities allowed. Even their token "conservatives" are really liberals. This describes all the other New York papers except the NY Sun (a serious conservative paper with relatively small distribution).

Oh... that's not right.  What is wrong with you people?  I am disgusted.  Fortunately my cloning facilities are still creating Nixon Clones for the New People's Red Army and I was able to make a flash clone of myself for that occasion.  I have and will stay here in Switzerland until Cobra Commander wins the election and I can safely come out without having people put stuff in the Hot Pockets that doesn't belong there.

Is asking but is there not {shudder}'Snow' in the land of the Switzers? Would not Cold Pockets be more correct? Do Flash clones come with rechargable batteries? (Enquiring minds want to know) Also I am noting you are making Nixon Clones, would these not already have their hands in the air in surrender position as  they insist they are not crooks? Do not worry comrade Betty the Party will win and the Cobra Commander will have her / his Fangs in the neck of the offender and the poison will render the miscreant helpless.
Power tothe troddendown and polygamist that retreat.

Betty, Madam Speaker loved the clone you sent and would like a few more for her personal massage parlor, hair removal clinic, and a "bed warmer."  Please ship them to me first to fit them for cybernetic arms with the appropriate tool attachments.  Thanks.

Will do.  Does she require that the said clones have a lifespan of more than 2 weeks?

No, not at all.  In fact, she thinks of them like condoms: one use and then dispose.  Clondoms?  Anyway, just keep a steady flow.  No expense will be spared.  After all, it's for The People^TM and The Children.^TM

To embrace 'green' policies that protect our environment, why not stuff the Premier's Hot Pockets with recycled clones, and leave the poor kitties alone!  That would reduce greenhouse gasses enough for several Climate Change^TM world tours by the Goracle on his modest private jet.

This is true, Betty.  If you don't have a problem with a clone of you giving Madam Speaker her monthly enema, then you shouldn't have a big problem with eating Betty Clone Meat Hot Pockets.  It's not really you, after all.

Forget it.  No way.  Never.  I'll just clone my own Hot Pockets from their natural chemicals.  None of this added, cat, people, or Nancy Fudge.  Only the preservatives and fake ingredients.

And the first shipment of flash clones has already been shipped.  Just dump the remains in Michael Moore's back yard when she's finished.  He'll find something to do with them.

Comrade Moore and I have finished packaging the first of the Betty Clone remains:  

Brilliant, Doctor!

Considering they are made of clone by-products, they look rather tasty.  Do they have a fish or shrimp flavor?  Yum!

Uuughhhh....

That's disgustingly hilarious, awesome, and horrifying.  I think I'll just stick to the normal Hot Pockets.  These ones we'll sell to France.  They're into weird food like that.

Hickory smoked clone buttholes?

Holy sh*t,that's funny!!

Not yet, but I'm sure we can get Betty to genetically modify his clones for seafood flavoring.  I'm thinking that Madam Speaker might even like flavored clones (or flavored "clondoms").  "Mmm... Kinky"  (Her words, not mine).

I knew you would approve of the "0g Kitty Meat per serving," as labeled in the upper righthand corner.

Yes, "With Nancy's Enima Sauce in a Crisp Crust."  Yum!

[Yeah.  It was a P-chop of a P-chop (although the "P" stands for the freeware "Paint.NET" rather than "Photoshop").  I found the pic by Image-Googling "hot pockets."  The original is located here:  Dr. Tran Hot Pocket.]

Might cost a little extra, but a willing sacrifice for the people, right?

Dr. Tran is awesome.

I forget, glorious leader...does the gay wife-cheater receive slap on left cheek or right?  I always forget this.

Most assuredly so, Comrade Doktor!  I am purring over the progressive packaging.  Now we must indoctrinate the masses to include Betty Pockets in tail-gator parties Amerikkans hold in pickup trucks with dangerous repitles.

But the man's facial expression is the same in both cases.  Either way, cheat on your wife and expect to have all your teeth knocked out.

...with a shovel...

People who have been Googling "Republican corruption" for at least a year have been directed first and moremost to my own site on this topic, http://LiberalslikeChrist.org/gopcorruption.html .  

This "cube" about Democratic corruption is so assinine that I will feature it on my http://JesusNoRepublican.Org/ page as an example of how silly Republican can be when they try to paint Democrats as comparable to the Republican party in corruption.  They are as comparable as a penny is to a hundred dollar bill!

You are correct, there is no comparison, Dems are much better at it. And what is even more impressive is how they continue to be re-elected after getting caught. Of course that has more to do with Lib voter being such ignoramuses. Your website also highlights this.

Rayosun!  I am so impressed, nay, turned on by your high Google ranking and all that stuff you've copied and pasted to your site.  That's how I measure the success of a man--not how much money he makes or what kind of car he drives.  I'll be coming back to your site soon to see what you've found to copy and paste about the Cube!

Hey, everybody!  Did you know that when you google the phrase, "Crimes Against Everything", this thread I started shows up at the very top of the list of millions of recommended sites?  

WOWEE!

Guess I'll have to add this accolade to my signature block.  

Pinkie
Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Ranked #1 on Google for "Crimes Against Everything" Thread
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!  
Click here to download my favorite tunes!  

"I like rich people.  I like the way they live.  I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

I am now on vigil for Elizabeth Edwards in a light blue jacket, wearing three strands of pearls to signify her husband had a mistress, while John stands next to her, his pretty face contorted in the classic "Cheater's Toothless Grimace."  Only what should I expect of his red, white, and blue striped tie?  

Quote

This "cube" about Democratic corruption is so assinine that I will feature it on my http://JesusNoRepublican.Org/ page as an example of how silly Republican can be when they try to paint Democrats as comparable to the Republican party in corruption.  They are as comparable as a penny is to a hundred dollar bill!

And as long as I'm here talking to myself like some loser on the Mime's Impeach for Peace forum, I thought I'd catch up with Rayosun to see how he's coming along with his featured article on the Cube.  Maybe I didn't dig deep enough in his dumpster of a site, but I couldn't find it anywhere!

Flat Floozy has a new friend:

So I go to the Fox News page, and what's the first thing I see?  

Mark Sanford.  

Doing "the mouth."

But he needs to work on it if he hopes to catch up to Spitzer.  I'd like to help by whacking him in the chops (and other places) with my shovel.  

News Chickification: Women Write About Sanford's Love for Mistress

Swooning Over Sanford's Letters

Female writers continue to fall for Sanford's charms.

What Is He Thinking? Sanford Violates All Rules of Sex Scandal Management