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For a Better National-Socialist Health Care!

By Red Square
8/8/2009, 9:58 pm
5 Steps to a better national-socialist health care:

• beat up the opposition
• call the other side fascists
• whip up hysteria
• criminalize difference of opinion
• report dissenters to flag@whitehouse.gov

Reply with quote

By Navigator
8/9/2009, 9:59 am
Reply with quote

By Red Square
8/9/2009, 10:46 pm
Thanks, Nav! That's definitely news one can use.

And besides, this is such small world! The site behind your link is run by a friend of mine who is also a fan of the Cube!
Reply with quote

By Opiate of the People
8/9/2009, 10:48 pm
Red Square wrote
5 Steps to a better national-socialist health care:

• beat up the opposition
• call the other side fascists
• whip up hysteria
• criminalize difference of opinion
• report dissenters to flag@whitehouse.gov


Gosh, what simple, common-sense ideas to achieve important national goals!  I wonder why no one has thought of this before?  Oh, wait....
Reply with quote

By Opiate of the People
8/9/2009, 10:58 pm
Comrade Navigator,

Bloodletting with the device shown below was also once considered treatment for illness.  Soon, Congress may revive the practice in order to help PAY for glorious healthcare reform.

Reply with quote

By Navigator
8/15/2009, 4:10 pm
I worked hard all week with a shovel only to find myself in the bottom of a hole!
Sometimes when you set out to get ahead you are just kidding yourself.
Reminds me of Gilligan's Island. Those poor merry misfits...no matter what they tried they always returned to the same hovel.

The first few hours of my weekend were just like my week.
It seems my ability to post opinions on liberal websites, host pictures on Photobucket, and upload video to Youtube are being impinged upon.

I have shamelessly copied and pasted my favorite agitprop from The PeoplesCube with permission from The One and artistically combined those pictures with some of my favorite musicians to produce this video.

It was only after I removed all the tags suggesting tyranny, Obamacare, socialism, obama,
Usurper In Chief and a few other well placed dingle berries as well as changing the title of said video to that has no known political links by the liberal battle bots at YouTube was I able to post.
I hope nobody is offended:

Reply with quote

By Red Square
8/15/2009, 5:34 pm
Thanks, Navigator! That was fun. You're getting better at video editing than I am! That means we'll have to tax you more and also redistribute some of your skills and software to the less endowed. Prepare to spread your wealth. From the bottom up if possible.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
8/15/2009, 8:57 pm
Navigator, I fail to see why you'd object to the PCbots at YouTube censuring your videos. It is a common misperception that there is free speech in this country. I myself am all about free speech, as long as no one else gets to have his say.

Google bought YouTube, and Google rolled over for the Chinese communists in censoring their web results. And here in AmeriKKK you have to start somewhere.

It's for the Children™. Whatever that means.
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By Red Square
8/16/2009, 10:32 pm
Big Fur Hat offers this take on the national-socialist health care debates:

Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
8/17/2009, 1:38 pm
We all know that in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ there will be no need for town-hall meetings except to hear the speeches of Dear O'Leader.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Nika
8/17/2009, 2:21 pm
Navigator, if I wasn't in the process of self-transformation in preparation for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday I would say that your video "Gilligan's Island" is one of the best I've seen and would certainly recommend it to one and all!
Reply with quote

By Superkommissar Maksim
8/17/2009, 6:15 pm
Most excellent Navigator! I'll send a Beet of the Week nomination form with your name on it to Pinkie.
Reply with quote

By Commissarka Pinkie
8/17/2009, 10:08 pm
Splendid, Maxim.  Now everyone knows why YOU keep getting Beet of the Week:  The whole thing is rigged because you're the one in charge of the nomination forms.

And to think you had everyone else believing I was always giving it to you because I was actually extra special super impressed with your Cubework.
Reply with quote

By General Mousey-Tongue
8/19/2009, 6:54 pm
Red Square wrote
Big Fur Hat offers this take on the national-socialist health care debates:



Glorious Leader, you finally finished this unfinished masterpiece.  If only there were Union goons hovering over the guys on each side of the victim recipient of correction, just to keep things in harmony.

Navigator, I genuflect in your general direction, most esteemed comrade!  Your video is more equal than others.  I laughed, I cried, I spew mouse guts all over myself while watching it.  Splendid!  You may borrow my most precious possession, a Che stuffed mouse toy, as long as you swear to give it back.  And only for a day or two!
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
8/20/2009, 12:42 pm
I'm beginning to wonder if we have some competition here. Is SEIU competing with Red Star's goons? Now I know there's not much to choose between goons but I prefer our goons because they're under better control. And because our Many Titted Empress has their nuts in a lock box.

Whereas the SEIU, having been so well rewarded by Dear O'Leader's administration, might not be as complaisant as we might like.
Reply with quote

By Red Square
9/2/2009, 12:14 am
The National-Socialist Health Care poster appears at around 1:17

Signs at Jan Schakowsky's (D-9th ILL) Town Hall Meeting 08/31/09 held in Niles, Illinois.

Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
9/7/2009, 3:00 am
Congrats, Red.
Reply with quote

By Red Square
10/22/2009, 2:39 pm
This has been circulated through the reactionary mailing lists. Another reason why the Progressive State must impose restrictions on email content and censor the Internet.

Quote
Let me get this straight.

We're going to pass a health care plan
(1) written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
(2) passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it,
(3) signed by a president that also hasn't read it, and who smokes,
(4) with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't  pay his taxes,
(5) overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and
(6) financed by a country that's nearly broke.

What possibly could go wrong?
Reply with quote

By count_hesley
11/27/2009, 2:39 pm
Reply with quote

By Red Square
11/27/2009, 5:17 pm
I received this in the mail and thought I should post it here for historical purposes:

=======================

A doctor's letter to a Senator

An Indianapolis doctor's letter to Sen. Bayh about the Bill
(Note: Dr. Stephen E. Frazer, MD practices as an anesthesiologist in Indianapolis , IN )

Here is a letter I sent to Senator Bayh. Feel free to copy it and send it around to all other representatives.
-- Stephen Fraser

July 23, 2009

Senator Bayh,

As a practicing physician I have major concerns with the health care bill before Congress. I actually have read the bill and am shocked by the brazenness of the government's proposed involvement in the patient-physician relationship. The very idea that the government will dictate and ration patient care is dangerous and certainly not helpful in designing a health care system that works for all. Every physician I work with agrees that we need to fix our health care system, but the proposed bills currently making their way through congress will be a disaster if passed.

I ask you respectfully and as a patriotic American to look at the following troubling lines that I have read in the bill. You cannot possibly believe that these proposals are in the best interests of the country and our fellow citizens.

Page 22 of the HC Bill: Mandates that the Govt will audit books of all employers that self-insure!!

Page 30 Sec 123 of HC bill: THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get.

Page 29 lines 4-16 in the HC bill: YOUR HEALTH CARE IS RATIONED!!!

Page 42 of HC Bill: The Health Choices Commissioner will choose your HC benefits for you. You have no choice!

Page 50 Section 152 in HC bill: HC will be provided to ALL non-US citizens, illegal or otherwise.

Page 58 HC Bill: Govt will have real-time access to individuals' finances & a 'National ID Health card' will be issued!

Page 59 HC Bill lines 21-24: Govt will have direct access to your bank accounts for elective funds transfer.

Page 65 Sec 164: Is a payoff subsidized plan for retirees and their families in unions & community organizations: (ACORN).

Page 84 Sec 203 HC bill: Govt mandates ALL benefit packages for private HC plans in the 'Exchange.'

Page 85 Line 7 HC Bill: Specifications of Benefit Levels for Plans -- The Govt will ration your health care!

Page 91 Lines 4-7 HC Bill: Govt mandates linguistic appropriate services. (Translation: illegal aliens.)

Page 95 HC Bill Lines 8-18: The Govt will use groups (i.e. ACORN & Americorps to sign up individuals for Govt HC plan.

Page 85 Line 7 HC Bill: Specifications of Benefit Levels for Plans. (AARP members - your health care WILL be rationed!)
Page 102 Lines 12-18 HC Bill: Medicaid eligible individuals will be automatically enrolled in Medicaid. (No choice.)

Page 12 4 lines 24-25 HC: No company can sue GOVT on price fixing. No "judicial review" against Govt monopoly.

Page 127 Lines 1-16 HC Bill: Doctors/ American Medical Association - The Govt will tell YOU what salary you can make.

Page 145 Line 15-17: An Employer MUST auto-enroll employees into public option plan. (NO choice!)

Page 126 Lines 22-25: Employers MUST pay for HC for part-time employees AND their families. (Employees shouldn't get excited about this as employers will be forced to reduce its work force, benefits, and wages/salaries to cover such a huge expense.)

Page 149 Lines 16-24: ANY Employer with payroll 401k & above who does not provide public option will pay 8% tax on all payroll! (See the last comment in parenthesis.)
Page 150 Lines 9-13: A business with payroll between $251K & $401K who doesn't provide public option will pay 2-6% tax on all payroll..

Page 167 Lines 18-23: ANY individual who doesn't have acceptable HC according to Govt will be taxed 2.5% of income..

Page 170 Lines 1-3 HC Bill: Any NONRESIDENT Alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay.)

Page 195 HC Bill: Officers & employees of the GOVT HC Admin.. will have access to ALL Americans' finances and personal records.

Page 203 Line 14-15 HC: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." (Yes, it really says that!)
Page 239 Line 14-24 HC Bill: Govt will reduce physician services for Medicaid Seniors. (Low-income and the poor are affected.)

Page 241 Line 6-8 HC Bill: Doctors: It doesn't matter what specialty you have trained yourself in -- you will all be paid the same! (Just TRY to tell me that's not Socialism!)

Page 253 Line 10-18: The Govt sets the value of a doctor's time, profession, judgment, etc. (Literally-- the value of humans.)

Page 265 Sec 1131: The Govt mandates and controls productivity for "private" HC industries.

Page 268 Sec 1141: The federal Govt regulates the rental and purchase of power driven wheelchairs.

Page 272 SEC. 1145: TREATMENT OF CERTAIN CANCER HOSPITALS - Cancer patients - welcome to rationing!

Page 280 Sec 1151: The Govt will penalize hospitals for whatever the Govt deems preventable (i.e...re-admissions).

Page 298 Lines 9-11: Doctors: If you treat a patient during initial admission that results in a re-admission -- the Govt willpenalize you.

Page 317 L 13-20: PROHIBITION on ownership/investment. (The Govt tells doctors what and how much they can own!)

Page 317-318 lines 21-25, 1-3: PROHIBITION on expansion. (The Govt is mandating that hospitals cannot expand.)
Page 321 2-13: Hospitals have the opportunity to apply for exception BUT community input is required. (Can you say ACORN?)

Page 335 L 16-25 Pg 336-339: The Govt mandates establishment of=2 outcome-based measures. (HC the way they want -- rationing.)
Page 341 Lines 3-9: The Govt has authority to disqualify Medicare Advance Plans, HMOs, etc. (Forcing people into the Govt plan)

Page 354 Sec 1177: The Govt will RESTRICT enrollment of 'special needs people!' Unbelievable!

Page 379 Sec 1191: The Govt creates more bureaucracy via a "Tele-Health Advisory Committee." (Can you say HC by phone?)

Page 425 Lines 4-12: The Govt mandates "Advance-Care Planning Consult." (Think senior citizens end-of-life patients.)

Page 425 Lines 17-19: The Govt will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. (And it'smandatory!)
Page 425 Lines 22-25, 426 Lines 1-3: The Govt provides an "approved" list of end-of-life resources; & guiding you in death. (Also called 'assisted suicide.')

Page 427 Lines 15-24: The Govt mandates a program for orders on "end-of-life." (The Govt has a say in how your life ends!)

Page 429 Lines 1-9: An "advanced-care planning consultant" will be used frequently as a patient's health deteriorates.

Page 429 Lines 10-12: An "advanced care consultation" may include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. (AN ORDER TO DIE FROM THE GOVERNMENT?!?)

Page 429 Lines 13-25: The GOVT will specify which doctors can write an end-of-life order. (I wouldn't want to stand before God after getting paid for THAT job!)

Page 430 Lines 11-15: The Govt will decide what level of treatment you will have at end-of-life! (Again -- no choice!)

Page 469: Community-Based Home Medical Services = Non-Profit Organizations. (Hello? ACORN Medical Services here!?!)

Page 489 Sec 1308: The Govt will cover marriage and family therapy. (Which means Govt will insert itself into your marriage even.)

Page 494-498: Govt will cover Mental Health Services including defining, creating, and rationing those services.

Senator, I guarantee that I personally will do everything possible to inform patients and my fellow physicians about the dangers of the proposed bills you and your colleagues are debating.

Furthermore, if you vote for a bill that enforces socialized medicine on the country and destroys the doctor-patient relationship, I will do everything in my power to make sure you lose your job in the next election.

Respectfully,

Stephen E. Fraser, MD

Dear Reader,
I urge you to use the power that you were born with (and the power that may soon be taken away) and circulate this email to as many people as you can reach. The Power of the People can stop this from happening to us, our parents, our grandparents, our children, and to following generations.

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By Commissar Theocritus
11/28/2009, 1:19 am
Dreadful, of course, but frankly, and this may be nuts, I hope that they pass this and more that's worse. I want Congressmen stacking the furniture against their office doors to keep out pissed-off middle-class people, not wild-eyed, employed leftist mobs or SEIU goons, but normal, working people. I want Americans so pissed off that we have another Revolution.

I want Nanski to be hung in effigy in every state in America. I want Lord Zero spirited away by the Secret Service to avoid being pelted by rotten vegetables. These people are not rational people--they're totalitarians and they need to be ground into the dirt.

People who do things, who have jobs, are too busy to get as pissed off as we need to be. I want them to grab guns in Texas--which will cause secession. I want them to tap everyone's bank accounts randomly. I want the IRs to search your closets to see if you have designer clothes which indicate unreported income. (Did you know that they have the right to do that already?) I want goon squads beating people's heads. I want the lapdog media acting like THX 1138 media. I want to see the Al Frankenstein Monster smirking at people stupid enough to work. I want to see as much arrogance as possible from our ruling and chattering classes, which will inflame the real people of America.

Pass it. Pass more. Pass a bill raising income taxes to 95%. Have Nanski laugh and quote Leona Helmsley. Have Murtha sneer at his constituents, even more.

I want them so goddamned arrogant that they are impossible to ignore and I want middle-class people, with jobs, and community responsibility, carrying torches outside Capitol Hill shouting for their heads.

I want to see Murtha shit his pants out of fear.
Reply with quote

By ReverendKscribe
11/28/2009, 1:08 pm


Obama's Promise to Deliver Hope & Change to the American People
"Changing the reason for the season"

Hope and change ring's through the land,
Gifts wrapped in liberty are given to lads,
Singing and dancing is everywhere around,
Reality of the coming doom is not to be found.


The Obama supporters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hope and change danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our glue-sniffing brains down for a long winter’s nap.



When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.



The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Chevy Suburban and Obama's hit men.



With gun packing thug so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was Barack,
More rapid than SS men his enforcers came,
And he cursed, and shouted, and called them by name.



"Now Kathleen ! now, Hillary! now, Pelosi and Timmy!
On, Rahm! On, Lisa!, on Robert and Ellen!
To the top of the porch! Break down the door!
Now go in shooting! They deserve no more!"



He was dressed all in the finest fur, his clothes were the best,
Gold chains covered his neck, I didn't like that act!
A bundle of ammo he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a Rambo, with that gun in his hand.

His eyes-how they grimaced! No dimples on his cheek!
His demeanor was nothing short of rage filled hate!
He drolled from his mouth at what he had found,
An American with a flag on his filthy white wall.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his Marxist teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a red wreath.
He had a gaunt face and really no belly to speak,
And bought a briefcase saying I owed more money!



He was angry and offended, a right unhappy old elf,
And I just had to laugh when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled a moving van with all my hard earned.
And laying his finger in his nose,
And giving me the finger, he grabbed my first born!



He sprang to his Chevy, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew down the streets in a hustle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"We will be back again next year because we got the right!"




Quote
A lie told often enough becomes the truth.
-Vladimir Lenin
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The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



 
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Radical anti- American leader blames US for Global Warming


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Philies: so did we
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Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
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Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Gotham villains working for the Common Good™

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SPONSORED BY:

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ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional

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visit our new Che Heart store

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DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry

Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use

DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
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Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"

Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a
2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
Obama gives Queen a shovel




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NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

click here for the story

Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube


CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY


Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it


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Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing


Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
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No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'

More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20

Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America

You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.


Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station

Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"


CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide





Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth



US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force

Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!

Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


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How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

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Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

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Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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