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United States: The Greatest Experiment (Part I)

By Statist-in-Chief
11/30/2009, 12:28 am

These past few months, I have researched and wrote two essays on the research I have conducted. I plan to share these two articles with you, I feel it is my duty to bring awareness among my fellow Kings and Queens of the United States because we are being deprived of proper education and knowledge from our government run society. Here is part one, enjoy.
United States: The Greatest Experiment
Part I: A Republic or a Democracy?

"The issue here is liberty, and Democracy is far from a synonym for that."
Perry de Havilland

In order to know who and what we are, it is crucial, and I cannot stress enough the importance, to know what form of government is in operation. In recent decades, we are being programmed to believe that a Democracy is the "ideal" form of government, of course, this programming is initiated in our schools, media, politicians, universities, world leaders, et cetera. If one reads the founding documents, the Constitutional Convention transcripts, and the letters of our Founding Fathers, he or she will discover that they spoke very poorly of Democracy. These men concurred that a Democracy was one of the worst forms of government; therefore, they created a Republic. The word Democracy does not appear anywhere in the Constitution for the United States of America or the constitutions of the several States.

First, what is government? Government is a mixture of natural and political law, and the manner in which sovereignty is exercised in each State.[1] Natural law is unalienable rights "given" at birth, or also known as 'birthright;' being from the hand of nature, in which an individual or individuals exercise it;[2]  in other words, a sovereign. Political law is shaped by man, or known as "man-made," simply for control purposes. Finally, a State itself is simply an accumulation of sovereign People.[3]  With that said, we will examine the difference between a Republic and a Democracy. Yes, to be sure, a Republic and a Democracy are one and the same, except one key distinction.

~
First, I will begin with a Democracy. A Democracy can be best described as a government of the masses, or better known as the majority. It is a form of government in which the sovereign power resides in and is exercised by the majority, directly or indirectly, as distinguished from a monarchy, aristocracy, or oligarchy. The sovereign power is exercised by the majority, as was the practice in some of the States of ancient Greece.[4]

Authority is derived through mass meeting or any other form of "direct" expression, usually election, which results in "mobocracy" or "lynch mob." Attitude toward property is collectivistic, opposing property rights. Mindset toward law and order is that the will of the majority shall police, whether it be based upon deliberation or governed by zeal, intolerance, and inclination, without restraint or regard to consequences. Democracies, more often than not, result in demagoguism, licenses, disturbances, restlessness, and/or anarchy. The sovereignty is not divided into smaller units such as individuals. To solve a problem, only the majority is authorized to act. In addition, individuals have duties and obligations to the majority. The government's only obligations to the individuals are those legislatively pre-defined for it by the majority.

A Democracy is collectivist in nature, which holds that a man and a woman have no unalienable rights, that his or her work and his or her individuality belong to the majority, and that the majority can do with him or her as it pleases, in any approach the majority pleases.[5] Whatever the majority decides, it is mandated to be followed by all, whether the minority approves or disapproves. The minority in a Democracy has no right to be heard, or declare in any matter due to the supreme ruling of the majority.

In a Democracy, fifty-one percent beats forty-nine percent. In other words, the minority has no rights. The minority only has privileges granted by the dictatorship of the majority. It is essential to know the difference between a "privilege" and a "right." A privilege is a grant that can be taken, or given (usually through license) by a higher source of authority.  A right is an autonomous action, and can be exercised without any one's acquiescence.  In any case, rights and privileges are not concrete items; they are intangible. Rights and privileges are theoretical ideas created by the imagination of man. Rights and privileges change throughout time and evolution of thinking, and they vary extensively from culture-to-culture. On the surface, a Democracy sounds great, but under the surface, there is no liberty and no justice for all. The minority must follow the majority's mandated commandments.

For example, let us imagine one introduces a proposal that electric powered automobiles will become the regular for traveling. The cry for the switch is "environmentally friendly," "low cost," "efficiency," and other hymns. The majority backs the individual proposing this idea. However, there is resistance to this proposal, the minority rebuttals the plan, but it falls on deaf ears. Election occurs, fifty-one percent votes in favor of electric powered automobiles whereas forty-nine percent voted to the contrary.

The new rule in this Democracy is electric powered automobiles must be used for traveling, and if action is not taken, there will be heavy fines, or possible confinement for not following the rule. This new rule is mandated for all to follow, there is no liberty of choice. The minority, beaten by the majority, must now follow the mandated rule set forth by the majority, regardless of disapproval, and subject to the group-think of the majority. Moreover, if the minority should dissent, his or her consequence is heavy fines, or incarceration. Is that liberty?

Second, a Republic is a form of government in which the powers of sovereignty are inherent in the people, and are exercised by the people, either directly, or through representatives elected by the people, to whom those powers are specially delegated. Parenthetically, the word 'people' is either plural or singular. The word 'people' is not the plural of 'person,' for the plural of 'person' is 'persons.' The word 'people' is not the plural of 'individual,' for the plural of 'individual' is 'individuals.'

A Republic is individualistic in nature, which holds that a man and a woman have unalienable rights, which cannot be taken away from him or her by any other individual or by any group, accordingly, each man and woman exist by his or her own right and for his or her own sake, not for the sake of the group.[6]

Contrasting from a Democracy, in a Republic, the majority only has advisory authority, not mandated; the minority is liberated to reject the majority group-think, and its advisory authority. However, there is one exception, if one hundred percent of a panel of adjudicators (i.e. a jury) convict, then the individual loses sovereignty and is subject to group-think as in a Democracy.

In a Republic, the sovereignty resides in the people equally and independently. One may act on his or her own sake or through his or her representative as he or she chooses to solve a problem. Further, the people have no obligation to the government; instead, the government being hired by the people is obliged to its owner, the people. The Constitution for the United States of America guarantees each State, or a State wanting to join the Union, must be a Republican form of government.[7] Any non-republican form of government is repugnant and unconstitutional. There is no excuse to question what a "Republican form of government" means as many individuals do, but this can be explained by means of ignorance of the meaning of Republic, or a tyrant construing the meaning for his or her agenda.

I have heard many professors say, "Our constitution says, 'Republican form of government,' ha, what does that mean?" Ignorance is slavery. Conceivably these "professors" were not educated properly. It is even more worrisome when I hear professors say, "We are a Democracy" or "We are a Constitutional Democracy." May I ask where these individuals received their education? Okay, okay, we know where. In any case, whether they know what form of government we are or are not, it is no excuse to spew such ignorance on the subject of the Constitution for the United States of America.

The Constitution for the United States of America provides for the election of 1) an executive, 2) legislatures, who working together in a representative capacity, 3) a judiciary to pass upon the justice and legality of their government acts and 4) to recognize the sovereign, free, and independent People, which have natural, inherent, and unalienable rights. Take away one or more of those four elements, and we will drift into tyranny. Add one or more to those four elements, and we will drift into a Democracy.[8]

The previous example, this time in a Republican manner. Let us imagine one introduces a proposal that electric powered automobiles will become the regular for traveling. The cry for the switch is "environmentally friendly," "low cost," "efficiency," and other hymns. The majority backs the individual proposing this idea. However, there is resistance to this proposal, the minority rebuttals the plan, but it falls on deaf ears. Election occurs, fifty-one percent votes in favor of electric powered automobiles whereas forty-nine percent voted to the contrary.

The new rule in this Republic is electric powered automobiles is the new method of traveling; however, it is optional for all to follow; there is liberty of choice. The minority, beaten by the majority, does not have to follow the rule set forth by the majority because the minority, akin to the majority, is equally sovereign and independent. Rules established by the majority in a Republic are nothing more than advisory, not mandated. One may choose to follow the rule or disobey the rule at his or her wish without worrying on the subject of consequences. That is liberty.

The distinction between our Republic and a Democracy is not an idle one. It has great legal significance. As already mentioned, the Constitution guarantees to every State a Republican form of government. No State may join the United States unless it is a Republic. Individual rights are the priority. The People have natural rights instead of civil rights (aka government privileges). The People are protected by the Bill of Rights from the majority group-think -- collectivism. One vote in a jury can stop all of the majority from depriving any one of the People of his or her individual rights. This would not be so if the United States were a Democracy.

As stated, in a Democracy there is no such thing as a significant minority, there are no minority rights except civil rights (privileges) granted by a condescending majority. Only five of the first ten amendments of the Constitution for the United States of America apply to the Citizens; all rights are available to the People whereas only some rights are granted as "privileges and immunities" to Citizens.[9] Simply stated, a Democracy is a dictatorship of the majority. Socrates was executed by a Democracy, though he injured no one, the majority found him intolerable, thus he was condemned to death.

Here some legal definitions...

"Government. The government is but an agency of the state, distinguished as it must be in accurate thought from its scheme and machinery of government. [...] In a colloquial sense, the United States or its representatives, considered as the prosecutor in a criminal action; as in the phrase, the government objects to the witness."[10]

"Government: Republican government. One in which the powers of sovereignty are vested in the People and are exercised by the People, either directly, or through representatives chosen by the People, to whom those powers are specially delegated."[11]

"Democracy. That form of government in which the sovereign power resides in and is exercised by the whole body of free citizens directly or indirectly through a system of representation, as distinguished from a monarchy, aristocracy, or oligarchy."[12]

Notice that in a Democracy, the sovereignty is in the whole body of the free citizens. The sovereignty is not divided to smaller units such as individual citizens. To solve a problem, only the whole body politic is authorized to act. Also, being citizens, individuals have duties and obligations to the government. The government's only obligations to the citizens are those legislatively pre-defined for it by the whole body politic.

In a Republic, the sovereignty resides in the people individually. In a Republic, one may act on his or her own or through his or her representatives as he or she chooses to solve a problem. Further, the people have no obligation to the government, instead, the government being hired by the people, is obliged to its owner, the people.

The People did not "ordain and establish this Constitution" for themselves, but "for the United States of America." In delegating powers to the government the People gave up none of their own sovereignty. This concept is why the United States has been called the "Greatest experiment in self-government." The People govern themselves, while their subjects (i.e. government) perform tasks listed in the Preamble for the benefit of the People. The experiment is to answer the question, "Can self-governing People coexist and prevail over government that has no authority over the People?" Self-government is exactly that, self-government; one is his or her OWN government, meaning he or she is his or her own executive, legislative, and judicial. This concept never existed in mankind's history until the People ordained and established this country.

The Citizens are subject to the laws of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. Keep in mind, citizenship did not exist, at least permanently, until July 28, 1868.[13] There was a great political division between two major philosophers, Hobbes and Locke. Hobbes was on the side of government. He believed that sovereignty was vested in the State. Locke was on the side of the People. He believed that the fountain of sovereignty was the People of the State. Statists prefer Hobbes. Populists prefer Locke and so did the People.

While a Republic and a Democracy are similar in many aspects, there is one major difference and that is in a Republic, sovereignty is inherent in each individual. In a Democracy, sovereignty is inherent in the majority. The United States is a Republic, a Constitutional Republic for that matter, not a Democracy. John Adams accurately stated, "Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a Democracy yet that did not commit suicide."[14]  Think of it as this way: a Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for dinner...who will decide? Same scenario but in a Republic, two wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for dinner, but a armed sheep contesting the vote.

As an individualist, I believe the "common good" that everyone desires can be achieved by means of voluntary and mutual collaboration. It becomes collectivism when coercion, intimidation, violence, irrationally, et cetera, enter the equation. Moreover, if one is injured by force, whether it be indirect or direct, actual or implied, there ought to be proper remedy and equality at law. The United States is the world's "Greatest Experiment," never before endeavored in human record, a land of equally sovereign and independent Kings and Queens. Self-governing according to the common law and to be judged by his or her own peers in a grand jury. Many believe this ideal of liberty, sovereignty, and self-government cannot be practicable. To the contrary, the People proved such a system could (and can) work; they handled their own matters using this system before government usurpation into our lives and businesses.

However, those days of self-governance seem to be gone now. The system did not fail, undeniably, it has its faults, but it is easy to blame the system. Ultimately, the People failed. The People failed to remain vigilant towards their subject (i.e. government), common ignorance, and lack of concern killed the ideals of our Founding Fathers and our Republic. After the Constitution Convention, Mrs. Powel, a woman of Philadelphia, asked Benjamin Franklin, "Well Doctor, what have we got - a republic or a monarchy?" "A republic, if you can keep it," replied Franklin.[15]

"If you can keep it." Strong statement by Franklin. We the People did not keep it due to unawareness, distractions, and slothfulness. As Jefferson noted, ignorance and liberty cannot coexist. Therefore, if there is any blame for growing government, a growing Police State, and never ending misery it appears, the responsibility is on the People. It is time for We the People to gain back what is rightfully ours. We the People need to start asserting our sovereignty and common law. We the People can revitalize our self-governance. Our subject knows who is in charge, but they have deceived us for many decades, beginning with the War Between the States. This deception must come to end and legitimacy ought to return. Life, liberty, property, pursuit of happiness, and individual rights has been the dictum of our Republic, and let us keep it that way.

Will you help by raising public awareness of the difference between the Republic and a Democracy? It is my hope that the United States will always remain a Republic, because I value individual rights and personal liberty. In the words of Patrick Henry, "Give me liberty, or give me death!"



[1] "GOVERNMENT, natural and political law. The manner in which sovereignty is exercised in each state," Bouvier, John. A Law Dictionary Adapted to the Constitution and Laws of the United States of America and of the Several States of the American Union. Sixth Edition, Revised, Improved, and Greatly Enlarged. Philadelphia: Childs and Peterson, 1856.

[2] "Every man, and every body of men on earth, possesses the right of self-government. They receive it with their being from the hand of nature. Individuals exercise it by their single will; collections of men by that of their majority; for the law of the majority is the natural law of every society of men," - Thomas Jefferson: Opinion on Residence Bill, 1790. ME 3:60.

[3] "STATE. A People permanently occupying a fixed territory bound together by common-law habits and custom into one body politic exercising, through the medium of an organized government, independent sovereignty and control over all persons and things within its boundaries, capable of making war and peace and of entering into international relations with other communities of the globe. United States v. Kusche, D.C.Cal., 56 F.Supp. 201, 207, 208. The organization of social life which exercises sovereign power in behalf of the People. Delany v. Moraitis, C.C.A.Md., 136 F.2d 129, 130.," Black’s Law Dictionary, Fourth Edition.

[4] "DEMOCRACY, government. That form of government in which the sovereign power is exercised by the people in a body, as was the practice in some of the states of Ancient Greece; the term representative democracy has been given to a republican government like that of the United States," Bouvier, John. A Law Dictionary Adapted to the Constitution and Laws of the United States of America and of the Several States of the American Union. Sixith Edition, Revised, Improved, and Greatly Enlarged. Philadelphia: Childs and Peterson, 1856.

[5] Rand, Ayn. "Textbook of Americanism." The Vigil. 1946.

[6] See Supra

[7] "The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion," Article IV, Section 4, Clause 1, Constitution for the United States of America for the United States of America, 1787.

[8] Training Manual No. 2000-25, War Department, Washington, D.C., November 30, 1928.

[9] "Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

[...]

Section 5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article," Fourteenth Amendment, Constitution for the United States of America, 1868.

[10] Black's Law Dictionary, Fifth Edition.

[11] See Supra.

[12] See 10.

[13] See 9

[14] John Adams, letter to John Taylor (1814-04-15).

[15] Farrand's Records, Volume 3, Page 85 of 685.
Reply with quote

By Panem Et Circenses
11/30/2009, 8:06 am
Amen, amen, amen.
Reply with quote

By Opiate of the People
11/30/2009, 5:35 pm
Good grief.  Democracy, Republic, tomato, tomahto..... get to the part where you describe all the free stuff I'm supposed to get.
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The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



 
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FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


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How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

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Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

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Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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