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Liberals Seven Times More Likely to Ban Black Assault Rifles

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[img]/images/Guns_Black_Hello_Kitty.jpg[/img]

Research conducted by Princeton University's Sociology Department discovered a surprising and ugly trend in our culture: liberals are nearly 8 times more likely to ban an assault rifle based on its color. Another surprising find: conservatives were found to be significantly more accepting of assault rifles of different colors and countries of origin than liberals.

The study was a thorough, double blind experiment involving 200 participants from different regions of the country. 100 of the subjects identified themselves as conservative.

Conservative participants were screened on such qualities as patriotism, military service, church attendance, giving to charity, and a fondness of Duck Dynasty. Typical conservative beliefs included acknowledgement of God, self-reliance, limited government, sanctity of life for the unborn, helping others with their own means, and tolerance for opinions with which they disagreed.

The 100 subjects who identified themselves as liberal were screened on such qualities as revulsion at images of Ronald Reagan, a reflexive tendency to protest military action, affiliation with a wiccan coven, demanding from charity, and a desire to lynch Phil Robertson.

Typical liberal beliefs included worship of Gaia and such notions as expansive government, the inability of minorities to accomplish without a government program, seeing abortion as a positive experience, helping others by wearing ribbons and demanding government action, and understanding tolerance to mean uniform agreement with their opinions.

The results of the study showed that liberals were 7.62 times more likely to demand the ban of a black assault rifle than a rifle of lighter color.

One participant, an anonymous House minority leader, was shown a "Hello Kitty" version of the AR-15. She smiled, and said, "How cute! I'm going to get one for my granddaughter!" When showed a black AR-15, the same subject ran to the door, locked it, and dove behind the interviewer's desk. When the interviewer told her that there was nothing to fear since the black AR was identical to the "Hello Kitty" version, the subject, visibly shaken, began sobbing, "Is it gone yet? Is it gone yet?"

Conversely, conservatives seemed much more at ease when shown assault rifles of different colors. Researchers were surprised to find that they were 5.56 times more likely to actually prefer a black assault rifle to the "Hello Kitty" version which, in many cases, was already owned by the subjects' daughters.

When shown different color schemes, conservatives demonstrated a significant degree of acceptance toward various mixed, camouflage arrangements. Even foreign-made assault rifles were received with a higher degree of tolerance. One subject who was shown an AKM stated, "Now that Kalashnikov feller sure knew how to make a good 'un!"

"The results are surprising and a bit disturbing for those who pride themselves on tolerance," said department head Dr. Stoner. "We need to consider acquainting children with assault rifles of different colors at an early age to overcome what seems an irrational phobia, and I think we can begin with more government funding for public school rifle ranges."

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We need rifles for our Hello Kitty friends in the mid east and other minority groups. Pictures of each clan's identity shall be placed on these rifles and other guns.

We do have our collective guns, but I do not have the collective camera to take a picture of them.

Guns are for the government and their people minorities.

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Tranparent_Gun.jpg
Start looking for elitism and racism in riflery here...

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Hammer and Loupe wrote:We need rifles for our Hello Kitty friends in the mid east and other minority groups. Pictures of each clan's identity shall be placed on these rifles and other guns.

We do have our collective guns, but I do not have the collective camera to take a picture of them.

Guns are for the government and their people minorities.

Hello Kitty Rifle.jpg

I don't know - Hello Kitty scares me just as much as the black one... but that just may be me. I'll leave this for my government handlers!

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Of course, Hello Kitty will also be offensive (and scary) to people who are allergic to cats or who are aileurophobic - and we must make accommodations. And no pictures of peanuts, either; those will trigger anaphalaxis in people a football field away.

Acceptable pictures include: Nancy Pelosi, Sandra Fluke, Barack Obama (of course!), Karl Marx, Che Guevara, Hugo Chavez and Sean Penn. All on a background of pleasant penal-institution peach or soothing earth-friendly mental institution green.

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Tovarichi wrote:
Start looking for elitism and racism in riflery here...

Welcome back from rehab Comrade T,

At first glance I thought that image was of a semi-auto garden hose receiver. Just shows how unbiased squirrels are... anyway, have a nice day.

the-real-ghost-gun-tennessee-arms-company-2.jpg

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There is "Company" written in that Picture Tov. I don't think it means the good kind of Company like Beyoncé and Oprah

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Agreed, Sheriff. It brings the illusion of transparency, and just like Barack Obama is a deadly threat to all who challenge it. As it is yet to be assembled fully (Nobody has built that.), it can be modified to fit whatever polls the National Defense require. If only it wasn't half-white...

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Thought Sheriff wrote:There is "Company" written in that Picture Tov. I don't think it means the good kind of Company like Beyoncé and Oprah
In this case, "company" refers to the Collective. All is well.

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Comrade Tovarichiness from the People's Caliphate of the Greater Austinabad Area,

This "summer squirt gun adapter " offers a clear choice for the un-washed masses.

And I think honest transparency deserves a shot, don't you ?

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Many thanks to the agitprop department.

Krasnodar, we can always scope out new options.

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Being made of clear plastic, it's clear that this new technology will probably lower receiver prices.

Yeah, yeah .... I know .......

But as our Dear President tactfully stated recently : " So sue me ! "

And his wisdom is beyond reproach, no ?*

*( According to MSNBC, 107% of all present agree.)

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Krasno,

I'm really not trying to clip this short--it seems that if this progresses, though we are only exchanging stock humor, you may become the butt of many jokes, and I fear the Political Officers may muzzle the conversation...

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Tovarichi wrote:Krasno,

I'm really not trying to clip this short--it seems that if this progresses, though we are only exchanging stock humor, you may become the butt of many jokes, and I fear the Political Officers may muzzle the conversation...
This is truly a bang-up analysis, right on target.




 
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