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'We Are The Champions' and other morally backward lyrics

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[img]/images/Champions_Losers_Mercury_Finger.png[/img]

A letter to the editor of Progress Collective Farm Pravda from a lowly member of the collective.

This morning the one-channel people's radio on my tractor transmitted a song "We Are The Champions." I took a sip of my beet vodka ration, observed the weeds flourishing in our Progress Collective Farm, and wondered why this song's meaning had always escaped me. My co-pilot lay in the ditch, drunk, and I didn't feel like plowing the field by myself like some wretched bourgeois individualist. Why kill myself working while others are having so much fun?

The radio kept playing: "I need to go on and on, and on, and on... We are the champions, my friends... and we'll keep on fighting 'til the end..." And then it dawned on me: this song has everything backwards!

Since when do we brag about our achievements? How come success is a worthy goal? Aren't we supposed to simply enjoy the process and never mind the outcome? Shouldn't we welcome our share of sand kicked in our faces? Doesn't "Progress" mean that we go where everybody else is going because we're told to, and when we arrive, progress ends and we die? That's the only meaning our lives are permitted to have.

The obnoxious tenor went on: "I've done my sentence but committed no crime." Is that so? News flash: half the inmates in the gulag say that. Another news flash: no one is innocent. If you think you are, that's a thoughtcrime and a long sentence right there. "...And bad mistakes I've made a few..." My point exactly. Everybody is guilty.

You're guilty if you think you're good at something. If you're not bragging about it openly, you're guilty for thinking it secretly. You're guilty of laughing when others are suffering. You're guilty of having fun when someone else is toiling to repay his debt to the Motherland. And that toiler is not innocent either: no man can repay the enormous debt he owes the Motherland that raised him, fed him, schooled him, assigned him to a job and gave him a roof over his head.

You're even more guilty if you, like that deadbeat singer, "pay your dues, time after time" instead of giving everything, all the time. That's why we all have nothing. Think about it: if I have something, I wouldn't want to give it up, and that'll make me even more guilty. So having nothing gives me a better standing.

But even then we're all guilty, by default, of non-compliance with government regulations. There are so many of them, you can't follow one without violating a bunch of others. Not to mention that we're all guilty of consuming our planet's limited resources merely by virtue of being alive.

The song went on: "But it's been no bed of roses." Oh really? Welcome to the culture club, comrade. "No pleasure cruise." And what exactly in our workers' paradise is a pleasure cruise? "I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, and I ain't gonna lose." Stop the tape! That shameless antisocial performer of people's songs has just admitted that he thinks he's better than others, he's smarter than others, he's special, and the whole human race somehow should care about him. Perhaps you don't think we know a few things about you, citizen Freddie?

Well, we all know the most important thing about you: you're as much a loser as the rest of us. Who allowed you to write that song? What reviewing artistic committee gave you the right to sing it, and to do so in a high-pitched voice instead of a standard operatic baritone? And what state agency allowed it on the people's airwaves?

If I were on that committee (and I hope I will be after writing this letter to the editor), I would have mandated that this song be sung thusly, in a metallic bass-baritone:

We are the losers, my friends,
And we'll keep on losing 'til the end.
We are the losers.
We are the losers.
No time for champions
'Cause we are the losers of the world.
Just as I finished thinking my thoughts and took another sip of beet vodka, the people's radio began to play "I did it my way." I nearly choked. Why would anyone brag about such a thing? Wouldn't it be more beneficial to the society if the lyrics went, "I did it the way everybody else was doing it" - or better yet, "I did it the Party way?"

So many bad lyrics, so little time to correct them. Let's report them, comrades! What other morally offensive songs have you heard on the people's radio that need to be turned around?

[img]/images/Champions_Losers_Sinatra_Finger.png[/img]

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"We could've had it all...rolling in the deep."
All? Were you thinking of sharing any "it?"


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But in all fairness justice equality, comrades, surely the line "pay your dues, time after time" might be salvaged, since it encourages proles fellow travelers useful idiots champions of progress to continue paying dues to The Party.

Golly, Comrade Putout! You Ukraine girls really knock me out, you leave the West behind.

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Komrades - here is the most bourgeois lyrics ever to be written:

"Only in America
Can a guy from anywhere
Go to sleep a pauper and wake up a millionaire

Only in America
Can a kid without a cent
Get a break and maybe grow up to be President..."

As though ANY of that was something to wish for! Thankfully, our Dear Leader and his Fundamental Transformation process has educated us to believe that making money is SO uncool (altho' that line about getting a break and maybe growing up to be President does have some merit.)

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Lev Termen wrote:Golly, Comrade Putout! You Ukraine girls really knock me out, you leave the West behind.
Comrade Pinkie is truly the girl that will knock you out Comrade Termen.

Komrade Katz wrote:Komrades - here is the most bourgeois lyrics ever to be written:

"Only in America
Can a guy from anywhere
Go to sleep a pauper and wake up a millionaire

Only in America
Can a kid without a cent
Get a break and maybe grow up to be President..."

As though ANY of that was something to wish for! Thankfully, our Dear Leader and his Fundamental Transformation process has educated us to believe that making money is SO uncool (altho' that line about getting a break and maybe growing up to be President does have some merit.)

No, the true thought of greatness is when the government gives you an assigned job.

Our cities have turned into jungles
And corruption is strangling the land
The police force is watching the people
And the people just can't understand

We don't know how to mind our own business
'Cause the whole world's got to be just like us
Now we are fighting a war over there
No matter who's the winner, we can't pay the cost

America, where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now
We can't fight alone against the monster


Steppenwolf
(Half a century goes by so quickly ... plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose)

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Lev Termen wrote:Steppenwolf
(Half a century goes by so quickly ... plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose)
I'm just glad that back in the 1970s, when I listened to the Steppenwolf tapes obtained on the black market away from the Soviet police, I didn't know English well enough to understand these lyrics. That would have ruined the entire listening experience. Who'd'a'thunk America was worse off than the USSR in the late 1960s? How were they even allowed to sing those songs if the police was watching?

If you change a few words, this song may have very well been about the Soviet Union...

Our cities are about to crumble
And corruption is strangling the land
The police force is watching the people
And we pretend that we don't understand

Communists can't mind their own business
'Cause the whole world's got to be just like us
Now we are fighting a war over there
No matter who's the winner, we can't pay the cost

America, where are you now?
You're being brainwashed by leftie songsters.
Don't you know we need you now
We can't fight alone against the Soviet monster

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Red Square wrote:We are the losers, my friends,
And we'll keep on losing 'til the end.
We are the losers.
We are the losers.
No time for champions
'Cause we are the losers of the world."
B-B-B-B-But, Comrade Red! Nanski Peloski tells us to EMBRACETHE SUCK!

Oh, and, this idea does indeed suck but whattayagonnado when Nanski tells us to embrace it?You know, the proverbial SUCK? She is the way, the light, and the future!

Progress! I, as a dutiful Made Prog™ have no choice but to follow our dearest Nanski! I simply, and I mean simply, have no choice. That's how Made Progs™ roll. Freddie, himself was quite operatic in his delivery, as was Roy Orbison's take on Pretty Woman and others. That was just Freddie's way.

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kid-rock-warrior.jpg

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Tovarichi tends bar for Mr. Rock. Looks like 'Tova' hasn't missed any meals!
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tovarichi-and-kid-rock.jpg

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The Ballad of Davy Crocket.
Imperialism, Racism, War mongering, Hate.

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You know, Comrade Red,

I wasn't "into" Queen in their heyday, but I did watch a documentary on him several years ago regarding his last album with opera diva Monserrat Caballe, who adored him. I liked him! Seemed like a very sweet guy with courage.

With regard to the lyrics (original lyrics inserted):

We are the champions, my friends,
And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end.
We are the champions.
We are the champions.
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world.
- See more at: https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... JeTbz.dpuf

Your correction is true. How could I have been so stupid? I never asked the simple question: "The champions of what?"

My very very bad.

To be fair, I think he was just fighting for his very life.

Another metaphor for all of us fighting for ours.

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Here is a minor re-write of a classic British 60's song from The Animals:

"We Gotta Get Into This Place"


In this dirty old part of the city
Where the sun refuse to shine
People tell me there ain't no use in trying
Now my girl you're so young and so pretty
And one thing I know is true
You'll be dead before your time is due

See my daddy in bed a dying
Watch his hair been turning gray
He's been working and slaving his life away
Oh yes, I know it

He's been working so hard
I've been working too babe
Every night and day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

We gotta get into this place
It'll be the best thing we ever do
We gotta get into this place
'Cause girl, there's no better life
For me and you

Now my girl you're so young and pretty
And one thing I know is true, yeah
You'll be dead before your time is due
I know it

See my daddy in bed a dying
Watch his hair been turning gray
He's been working and slaving his life away
I know

He's been working so hard
I've been working too babe
Every day baby
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

We gotta get into this place
It'll be the best thing we ever do
We gotta get into this place
Girl, there's no better life
For me and you

Right here baby
Somehow I know it baby

We gotta get into this place
It'll be the best thing we ever do
We gotta get into this place
Girl, there's no better life for me and you
Believe me baby
I know it baby
You know it too

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt,


In response to your "We Gotta Get Into This Place." I extrapolate on your post by presenting this:

Who Owns This Place?
The color of money.gif



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Comrade Pamalinski, shhhhh! Don't let the secret out. If people figure out that the Democrats and the Republicans are working together against the Constitution, why, a terribly shocking event may occur: people (not The People™, of course) might actually vote for an alternative. We can't allow that to happen.

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" We gotta' get into this place ......."

That lyric sure brings back memories from the glory days of the Party !

Remember when we built the Berlin Wall to keep out all of the western capitalists who where trying to come and live in the worker's paradise of East Germany.

Berlin Wall.JPG

As Comrade Nancy would say : " We did it for the children ".

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It's always for The Children™, comrade Krasnodar. Indeed, it was sad how many capitalist pigs that we had to shoot in the back as they tried to invade the Worker's Paradise. I never understood why they were running backwards.

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:It's always for The Children™, comrade Krasnodar. Indeed, it was sad how many capitalist pigs that we had to shoot in the back as they tried to invade the Worker's Paradise. I never understood why they were running backwards.
Me neither, Sweet Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt, me neither. Never understood why they were running backwards. When I asked them this, they just said they didn't know they were doing that. That was good enough for them.

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Komrade Pamalinsky, that's a terribly sad story. Even for a capitalist "I didn't know I was doing that" is a terrible last thought to utter. Appropriate, more than likely, but still very sad. Clearly, it was better to shoot them than to allow them to live in such ignorance. It's a sad but, ironically, satisfying mission to euthanize the terminally ignorant. Sigh.

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Here is a song, on the other hand, that glorifies the collectivism of the state and the need for each of us to sacrifice so that....other people can feel free:

"Feel Like A Number"


I take my card and I stand in line
To make a buck I work overtime
Dear Sir letters keep coming in the mail
I work my back till it's racked with pain
The boss can't even recall my name
I show up late and I'm docked
It never fails


[Sing it, Comrade!!!]


I feel like just another
Spoke in a great big wheel
Like a tiny blade of grass
In a great big field

[Yes! Isn't it wonderful???]


To workers I'm just another drone
To Ma Bell I'm just another phone
I'm just another statistic on a sheet


[1.) ??? I don't like the way this song is going all of a sudden! 2.) Who is this Ma Bell of whom you speak?]

To teachers I'm just another child
To IRS I'm just another file
I'm just another consensus on the street




[But that's the point, Comrade! Don't bow to individuality!!!]



Gonna cruise out of this city
Head down to the sea
Gonna shout out at the ocean
Hey it's me
And I feel like a number
Feel like a number
Feel like a stranger
A stranger in this land
I feel like a number
I'm not a number
I'm not a number
Dammit I'm a man
I said I'm a man


[Alright, Comrade Seger, that is enough! You can expect the Gulag welcoming committee at your exorbitantly expensive house at midnight! Dress warmly!!!]

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Pamalinsky wrote:You know, Comrade Red,

I wasn't "into" Queen in their heyday, but I did watch a documentary on him several years ago regarding his last album with opera diva Monserrat Caballe, who adored him. I liked him! Seemed like a very sweet guy with courage.


(I think you mean Freddie Mercury, Comrade Pamalinsky. Queen is the name of the group...a group of talented musicians, one of whom belongs to the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists! See below.)


MayBrian.jpg

Dr. Brian May
Member, Luxurient Flowing Hair Club for Scientists
Astronomer and Rock Star
Formerly of Imperial College London
And then of Queen
UK

"I nominate Brian May, the lead guitarist of the rock group Queen, for membership of LFHCfS. He studied for a Ph.D. in Infrared Astronomy at Imperial College, London but was unable to complete his thesis due to the competing demands of being a rock star."
[size=-1](Nominated by Philip G.P. Welch, LFHCfS) [/size]


(But I digress....)

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Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:You know, Comrade Red,

I wasn't "into" Queen in their heyday, but I did watch a documentary on him several years ago regarding his last album with opera diva Monserrat Caballe, who adored him. I liked him! Seemed like a very sweet guy with courage.


(I think you mean Freddie Mercury, Comrade Pamalinsky. Queen is the name of the group...a group of talented musicians, one of whom belongs to the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists! See below.)


MayBrian.jpg

Dr. Brian May
Member, Luxurient Flowing Hair Club for Scientists
Astronomer and Rock Star
Formerly of Imperial College London
And then of Queen
UK

"I nominate Brian May, the lead guitarist of the rock group Queen, for membership of LFHCfS. He studied for a Ph.D. in Infrared Astronomy at Imperial College, London but was unable to complete his thesis due to the competing demands of being a rock star."
[size=-1](Nominated by Philip G.P. Welch, LFHCfS) [/size]


(But I digress....)


Dear Comrade Kelly,

Of course I meant Freddie Mercury! Thank you for pointing this out. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I get into some serious sloppy syntax, or whatever it's called, when I get too enthusiastic. It's a flaw I am working through. Thanks again.

I did not mean to diminish other members of the group, because I know they loved the guy. I do know, though, that he was the front guy for Queen, created it. And was a self-admitted queen himself.

Your pal, Pammie

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This one would rile the party faithful...if they were smart enough to understand basic satire.



"Taxman"

(1,2,3,4

Hrmm!

1,2...

1,2,3,4.)

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
Cos I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
Cos I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet

Taxman!
Cos I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

Don't ask me what I want it for (Aahh Mr. Wilson)*
If you don't want to pay some more (Aahh Mr. Heath)*
Cos I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
Cos I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one but me
Taxman!* I recommend swapping these words for "Aahhhh, Mr. Boehner; Aaahh, Mr. O!"

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What a wonderfully patriotic song, comrade Kelly. Celebration of Party Doctrine™ is to be encouraged at all times. This should become a new National Song. We can dispense with America The Beautiful and sing praises to the IRS. I do think that 5% is a little too much to leave the citizenry. We are the 99%. They are the 1%. Do the math!


 
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