Prof: ‘Elf on the Shelf' conditions kids to accept surveillance state

Is it Santa, or the NSA? It doesn't matter! Teach your little school-lunch-consumers about the glories of State sponsored surveillance by using "Elf on the Shelf" not yet available in Store #86, but if you already have one, you are supposed to.


Have you been naughty on the interwebs? Are you using your O-phone to view the Drudge Report, or read TEA Party propaganda? Have you sent a donation or a text of support to Ted Cruz?

The "Elf" knows these things, and its his duty to notify "Santa."

Deal with it.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:https://eagnews.org/prof-elf-on-the-she ... nce-state/

Is it Santa, or the NSA? It doesn't matter! Teach your little school-lunch-consumers about the glories of State sponsored surveillance by using "Elf on the Shelf" not yet available in Store #86, but if you already have one, you are supposed to.

Have you been naughty on the interwebs? Are you using your O-phone to view the Drudge Report, or read TEA Party propganda? Have you sent a donation or a text of support to Ted Cruz?

The "Elf" knows these things, and its his duty to notify "Santa."
Deal with it.

Black List Matters

Biff Henderson wrote:Black List Matters

"List of color" is the preferred term in the World of Next Tuesday.

I suppose [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] will be dealing with plenty because he wrote:
[highlight=#ffff00]Have you been naughty on the interwebs?[/highlight] Are you using your O-phone to view the Drudge Report, or read TEA Party propaganda? Have you sent a donation or a text of support to Ted Cruz?

[highlight=#ffff00]The "Elf" knows these things[/highlight], and its his duty to notify "Santa."

[highlight=#ffff00]Deal with it.[/highlight]

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Elf-On-The-Shelf™ is very sneaky as well!

(Captain Craptek is as cute as can be, isn't she?! Oleg!!!)
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Unfortunately, there are still some action figures, out there, who seem to think this kind of behavior is an appropriate approach with public servants. This must be stopped!!

It seems you have found useful employment of Mr. Green-Jeans, Cammo-Pants, Kapitan Kangaroo....

There still remains much traditional "snitches get stitches" attitude to overcome for the greater glory of the state, but even the religion of peace takes time to be fully accepted.

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He's a little pain in the ass when he hangs out with Mister Hankey!
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Ivan... look what my Elf did to the picture you sent me!
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I must denounce Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt for depicting the ineffective torture method. I would give my left eye that no actionable intelligence ever came out of such criminal acts.

Comrade Putout wrote:.
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Ivan... look what my Elf did to the picture you sent me!
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ivan-at-the-beach-after-elf-edit.jpg

This vandalism is just the type of crime we can expect when we let undocumented elves in to build the toys that American workers just won't build.

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Sometimes the little guy gets lucky...

even with the Pajama Boy as his wingwoman!
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I added a slightly larger PNG to my gallery.
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Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:I must denounce Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt for depicting the ineffective torture method. I would give my left eye that no actionable intelligence ever came out of such criminal acts.

I don't quite understand this. I'm being denounced for denouncing previously denounced enhanced torture techniques?

Are you in favour of these inhumane methods of information extraction, comrade?

Komrade Kapitan Kangaroo sorry for confusion. I was for enhanced torture techniques before I was against them, just like Ms. Pelosi, and Mr. Rockefeller. I was "with" Ms. McSpadden and Mr. Brown Sr. when they addressed the UN Committee Against Torture, denouncing the rogue racist profiler muderous KKK sympathizing cop Darren Wilson, Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Komrade Kapitan Kangaroo sorry for confusion. I was for enhanced torture techniques before I was against them, just like Ms. Pelosi, and Mr. Rockefeller. I was "with" Ms. McSpadden and Mr. Brown Sr. when they addressed the UN Committee Against Torture, denouncing the rogue racist profiler muderous KKK sympathizing cop Darren Wilson, Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.

I suspect, comrade Soviet Mike, that you have been educated at the John Kerry School of International Diplomacy and Domestic Electioneering. Alumni can tell.

The school motto is: Hostis est quid velit diplomacy artem dum convictionem est idea - Diplomacy is the art of giving the enemy what he wants whilst convincing him it is your idea.

It looks better in Latin, in my opinion.

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Ron Jeremy attempts to introduce Kirstin to his special little Elf.
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https://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb201 ... Boogie.png

Al-Salaam Alayqum!!Our Dear Leader (PBUH), put together a dance with all of his friends in Islam and socialism to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Komrade Kapitan Kangaroo since I wear my contempt for imperialist America on my sleeve I cannot accuse you of 'swift boating' me by outting my re-education background. Just as Mr. Kerry testified in 1971, the people in rice fields "did not even know the difference between communism and democracy, and just wanted left alone", so too do Jihadi's not know the difference between Sharia and Liberty, and want only to be left alone, to eradicate infidels and the great satan in peace.

The concept approval meeting...


"...Benny, I'm telling you, this guy has an idea! Go ahead, tell him what we talked about..."

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Ex-Delaware Zoo seal team leader Joe Biden with some wise and handy holiday safety advice...
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President Obama again puts the needs of Americans first by Executive Order for the Elf-on-the-Shelf Program.

Speaking from the Obama Office, he said:

In the Christmas Spirit, I, SantObama, by Executive Action, have launched my FREE Elf-On-the-Shelf Program so that every home can afford a complete set of Elves on the Shelves to help me maintain my Nauthty/Nice List. And, by the way, this Cuban Cigar is quite good for blowing smoke.

Elves on the Shelves shown in the picture above, left to right other-side order:

Kim Jong Un, the "Movie Watcher"; Michael Moore, the "Rich Watcher"; Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, the "Gunowners Watcher"; Eric Holder, the "Un-Obama-Media Watcher/Hacker"; Obamymous, the "Watchers Leader"; Al Sharpton, the "Race Watcher"; Michelle Obama, the "Food Watcher"; Lois Lerner (doing double-duty during retirement) as the "Taxpayer Watcher"; and Fidel Castro as the "Anti-Marxist Watcher."

--KOOK