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Google: custodians of the Current Truth

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Google wants to rank websites based on facts not links


The truth is a slippery thing. If you don't keep a close eye on it it may wander off like a young child and sully its Sunday clothes, i.e., its truthiness.

To prevent this from happening Google has volunteered to become America's Ministry of Truth, providing protective custody for the truth in a giant "database," their truth dispenser so to speak, for convenient delivery wherever it may be needed, the White House or the outhouse.

From now on, if you need to know whether something is true, such as "2+2=4" or "God is real" you can just ask Google.

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Notice that the article about Google doesn't mention The People's Cube as the source of the Current Truth along with other secondary sources like Snopes, PolitiFact and FactCheck.org. Granted, those progsites are all as proggish as the People's Cube, and yet they are not the Party Organ of Record.

As we know, all truth is relative and there is no objective way to say anything with absolute certainty of truthiness unless it's tested by the Marxist principle of how much value it is to the Party at the present moment. And since the political situation always changes, what was the Truth yesterday may no longer be the Truth today.

Hence our revolutionary concept of The Current Truth™ developed by the People's Cube specifically for this purpose.

Google is going to source the Current Truth from the above three progsites, appointing them as The Watchers. But here's the trick: who will watch The Watchers? We will!

That is why we haven't been mentioned among the three Watchers. WE WILL BE WATCHING THE WATCHERS! As we always do.

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Google: Custodians of Truth, and through Google to Korrekt Justice! Prepare yourselves for the coming Internet Show Trials as outlined in New Scientist!

Chris Wilford, head of Policy and Public Affairs at the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators (CIArb), says the report is a step in the right direction.

"The Ministry of Justice budget has been reduced extensively since 2010 so there needs to be new ways of dealing with that and preserving access to justice," he says.

Wilford adds that there will be advantages in terms of improving efficiency. "Given the amount of paper building up in our court system, any way you can rationalise that, use technology to alleviate stress in the system and have things go through in a quicker way is positive," he says. "That is definitely a real step forward for people."
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"What day is it?", the prole asked. "I believe it's Tuesday," answered the assembled multitude.

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I can't wait for Google to verify the truthiness of whether 72 virgins really await Muslim martyrs in paradise. Go, Google, go!


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Google knows what's best for all of us whether we agree or not. The Force™ is with them. They are just another arm of the The Party™.

Until they are completely banned, websites associated with conservative radio and television shows, conservative blogging, conservative terror groups like the Tea Party, conservative Republican candidates, etc., will receive low Google search engine rankings. It's only "fair." It's "for the children." It's to "save the planet." It's for our "safety." Who can argue with that?

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Dedhedvedev wrote:I can't wait for Google to verify the truthiness of whether 72 virgins really await Muslim martyrs in paradise. Go, Google, go!

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Comrades,

I strongly advise against watching the above video without first ingesting the appropriate protective substances - and lots of them.

Captain Craptek put me in ponder mode when he wrote:"What day is it?", the prole asked. "I believe it's Tuesday," answered the assembled multitude.

"I believe ... I believe ..." said Pooh.

"Yeh what?" said Eeyore.

"I believe ... I need a firkin of strong drink," said Pooh.

"And I want a pony," added Piglet.

"Well, I believe you'll be lucky if you can get a two cents plain," said Eeyore.

"After all, this is Obamanation," observed Christopher Robin.

At this point the Heffalump took a dump on the assembled company (immuring Piglet) and then went back to Congress to continue his Appeasement.

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This can't bode well for non-Custodians of the Current Truth™ such as Yahoo!, Bing, or DuckDuckGo and their now-archaic, outdated search methods which are completely useless to everyone.

Perhaps with their newly-expanded power the Party can shutter all search engines except Google as the only true Ministry of Information? After all, monopolies are not necessarily bad when the Glorious State is involved!

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There is no truth but the Current Truth ™ , and it's prophet is Red Square...Image

Captain Craptek wrote: "What day is it?", the prole asked. "I believe it's Tuesday," answered the assembled multitude.
Damn, I think I owe somebody for a hamburger.


 
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