Attention all Comrades;

The People's Digital Atlas of the glorious DPRK has finally arrived!

Explore the wealthy province of North Hamgyong. Stroll through quaint deserted neighborhoods and along barbed wire protected streets. Shop in government stores for local bargains. Discover the friendly peasants of the Haeso region and the many villages dotting the garbage strewn coastline of Sunan. Dine on grains, roots and multi-colored rocks in the bread-basket of North Korea, South Hwanghae Province.

From scenic retraining camps at Jonchon to the spacious accommodations of the Singye-ri Gulag, DPRK Discount Vacation Packages offer the discerning traveler the adventure experience of a lifetime.

All vacation packages include round trip passage on the newly refurbished DTBZ9 trawler “The People's Delight” plus overnight accommodations at the Ungsang Worker's District hotel and copper mine. As an added bonus this winter we are offering up to three hours of electricity and running water daily at no extra charge - some restrictions apply.

Captain Craptek wrote:As an added bonus this winter we are offering up to three hours of electricity and running water daily at no extra charge - some restrictions apply.

Restrictions may include:

• No heat
  
• No electricity
  
• No running water
  
• No sleep
  
• Being tied to a torture rack upside down and beaten with rice flails

So enjoy your vacation from Obamanation while you can, and remember, Dear Leader has the same in mind for us.

Comrade Craptek,

I plan on leaving at once for The DPRK but am a bit concerned (see below). Once my pilot locates the country, would you please sign me up for the lovely inland passage tour? Thanks. Oh, have you seen my Paraguay postage stamp collection?
Yours,

Red Walrus

Red Walrus wrote:Comrade Craptek,

I plan on leaving at once for The DPRK but am a bit concerned (see below). Once my pilot locates the country, would you please sign me up for the lovely inland passage tour? Thanks. Oh, have you seen my Paraguay postage stamp collection?
Yours,

Red Walrus

I'd be happy to make myself available to videotape you parachuting into Ungsang. That's guaranteed to get a million hits on Youtube! As for those Paraguay stamps....I'm not sure about them. Aren't they used to mail oriental chick porn?

CC

Red Walrus,

Ask your pilot to plan his arrival for daytime. Your stand in the immigration line is just the thing to whip jetlag, and you'll still have time for the buffet before dark! Happy trails!

I have no idea what you are talking about CC, but please get this to Ivan and Stierlitz for me when you find some time. Oh, and the skydive into DPRK (during daylight hours) sounds fabulous. Lets do this. Will you be jumping with me? An extreme cameraman along for the trip would definitely come in handy.

Red Walrus wrote:I have no idea what you are talking about CC, but please get this to Ivan and Stierlitz for me when you find some time. Oh, and the skydive into DPRK (during daylight hours) sounds fabulous. Lets do this. Will you be jumping with me? An extreme cameraman along for the trip would definitely come in handy.

I think maybe I'll deliver this to the guys personally, ah, to be sure there's nothing in the mailer that's counter to Party rules or anything,...you understand - yes? And for the camera work I'll be using my 400mm telephoto lens so I'm out of your way as you plummet float gracefully to earth.

So... One of Comrade Walrus skydives was in 1908 over Tunguska.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:So... One of Comrade Walrus skydives was in 1908 over Tunguska.

Probably. If I can find any trace of him I'll ask.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:So... One of Comrade Walrus skydives was in 1908 over Tunguska.

Well...that explains it. Heard there was a big bonfire afterward with S'mores.

Red Walrus wrote:XXX

Comrade Walrus,

Nice jump. Ready for another? Oh! look.............. a squirrel!

Say no more Comrade . . . and yes I'm thinking a tandem jump into Syria this fall sounds awesome - The foliage is to die for in October. Only this time don't push me out the door until I say 1 2 3 go!