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Texas is a very backwards place. So backwards that they're known for toxically masculine cowboys, polluting petroleum, and that symbol of Native Amerikan oppression known as the Alamo. It's a wonder that our People's Stronghold of Austin hasn't dropped off the face of the Earth yet. But, the saying "a broken clock is right twice a day unless it identifies as being right" proves itself true once again.

The title of the act is "A Man's Right To Know", introduced into the Texas house by Demokrat Jessica Farrar. Under this act, men would have to wait 24 hours before getting a colonoscopy or buying Viagra. This accomplishes a few different things, all of them good for the Party.

Number one, by restricting colonoscopies, it frees up doctor's offices for abortions. Number two, by waiting for colonoscopies, we men are punished for our male privilege and are more likely to pay reparations by dying because of prostate or bowel cancer. Number three, the 24-hour waiting period for Viagra is another reminder of privilege. And number four, the lack of Viagra will mean less actual rapes, which means the courts will be freed up for more fictional accusations of rape, which would ultimately lead to more filthy men going to jail.

However, these four things are but a piss in the pot compared to the last part of the act. Komrade Farrar has come up with possibly the greatest tax of all times. So great that even a tax on the air or the sun would crumble compared to this tax. She wants to fine a man 100 bucks every time he yanks his crank.

Komrades, think of the absolute power of this tax. Governmental revenue would multiply endlessly! We'd finally be able to afford the rockets for our "Revolutionize the Galaxy" campaign! Men would have to bow down to their Feminist overlords to get any satisfaction! It would cause a brand new era of revolution!

Those republicunts that do nothing but eat KFC and jerk it with 100 dollar bills would be taxed into the poorhouse! They'd go blind AND broke! Men would be FORCED to impregnate women so that women could experience the sheer joy of having an abortion! Or, they'd be forced to get their kicks by imitating our gay friends or our muslim friends. Truly some great stuff.

For the good of the Party, for the good of the People, for the good of the Children, and for the good of the Government, I propose that we start a national movement to get their truly revolutionary piece of legislature written into the Constitution.

She wants to fine a man 100 bucksevery time he yanks his crank.

So how does she plan to police this? Is she going to fine every blind man in Texas? Will she put undercover officers in the back of every theater?

This is somehow, in some twisted, misshapen, warped, other worldly way connected to womyn's rights amIrite? Looks like the Democrats have found their 2020 Presidential candidate! Woohoo!!!

I'll be proposing an amendment to Farrar's Yank-Your-Crank Tax proposal. Shouldn't the guy be charged with failure to provide child support for the theoretical kid(s) he might have produced?

Perhaps there can be tax credits for those who donate the product of said yanking to the local sperm bank.

[color=#C0392B]RedDiaperette[/color] must have been thinking about [color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] when she wrote:Perhaps there can be tax credits for those who donate the product of said yanking to the local sperm bank.

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I always suspected Captain Craptek was a Yankee Capitalist™!
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Comrade Putout wrote:

[color=#C0392B]RedDiaperette[/color] must have been thinking about [color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] when she wrote:Perhaps there can be tax credits for those who donate the product of said yanking to the local sperm bank.

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I always suspected Captain Craptek was a Yankee Capitalist™!

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It's the least I can do, Comrade Putout. Consider it a small sacrifice for the Greater Good.™

Feminism adds a new meaning to "Yankee imperialism" and a to the expression "YANKEE GO HOME."

It could be that Rep. Jessica Farrar, a Texas Democrat, has been living all this time under the wrong impression of what this term really means, possibly caused by someone's inadequate mistranslation. Either way, limiting the rights of the righties is a shot in the arm for all the leftie comrades.

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YANKEE GO HOME in a progressive communist dictatorship -

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YANKEE GO HOME in Russia -

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Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

She wants to fine a man 100 bucks every time he yanks his crank.

So [highlight=#ffff00]how does she plan to police[/highlight] this? ...

I bet, some electronic jizzmo. Remember VAULT7 ?

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

She wants to fine a man 100 bucksevery time he yanks his crank.

So how does she plan to police this?

And that is why - and we can't stress it hard enough - YANKEE GO HOME where no one can see you.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:... She wants to fine a man 100 bucks every time he yanks his crank ...

Ven der putz shteht, ligt der sechel in drerd. *
Wow, didn't know that Portnoy's ↑ insight includes also the sechel of a feminist comrade.


* A German-ONLY speaker senses, a Yiddish-somewhat-savvy knows, and Portnoy himself provides translation: When the prick stands up, the brains get buried in the ground.

The bill also imposes a 24-hour waiting period if a guy wants a colonoscopy

A typo surely ???
Shouldn't that have said weeks or months ? The wait in the UK is at least 2 weeks .
No one actually wants a colonoscopy do they ? I think the silly woman's confusing "wants" & "needs" or do liberals actually enjoy the "experience" of a colonoscopy ?

I commend this woman's equating Viagra -- a medicine meant to treat a disease, with contraception and abortion -- drugs and procedures meant to terminate a perfectly healthy consequence to a perfectly healthy act.

The Party needs to study other ways to use such equating more.