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We lose 93 million Americans a day to gun violence

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An extraordinary claim today was made by an extraordinarily squeaky-clean Governor named Terry McAuliffe. Did you know we are losing 93,000 million Americans a day due to gun violence?

This is Trumps fault, probably, right? Because of this sensational uptick in violence, according to the Governor, we should all be dead by then end of the week. Please, say your prayers, and tell your loved one how much they mean to you.

Terry McAuliffe has an impeccable reputation. I wouldn't question his figures.


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93 billion? Let's just go Carl Sagan and say "Billions and billions."


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Governor McAwful read all about it in the latest issue of Resistance magazine.

I was killed by gun violence once. But I got better.

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CrustyB wrote:I was killed by gun violence once. But I got better.
At least you weren't one of the 500 million who lost their jobs.

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By my calculations at 93 million per day, the last person will die at 11:59 pm right before the clock strikes Next Tuesday. So gloriously close.

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Those 93 million killings per day must be happening in the seven hidden states that Obama one accidentally told us about. That is why we never hear any of those statistics.

Remember how Obama said he visited all 57 states? But we were always told we only have 50 states, which means there are seven states hidden from all the statistics and the media. This is where the government is probably conducting nefarious social and medical experiments, fluoride infusions, chemtrails, mind-reading, and the manufacturing of weather machines and black helicopters.

No wonder people are dying there at the rate of 93 million per day, who wouldn't? What else is the government not telling us?

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Everything would be so different if only Hillary were President. Oh, if only Hillary were President.

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Here is a typical American shooting 49 people in just under one and half minutes. On average that adds up to 93 million a day.

"Charles Bronson Murders Everyone!"


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Red Square wrote:Those 93 million killings per day must be happening in the seven hidden states that Obama one accidentally told us about. That is why we never hear any of those statistics.

Remember how Obama said he visited all 57 states? But we were always told we only have 50 states, which means there are seven states hidden from all the statistics and the media. This is where the government is probably conducting nefarious social and medical experiments, fluoride infusions, chemtrails, mind-reading, and the manufacturing of weather machines and black helicopters.

No wonder people are dying there at the rate of 93 million per day, who wouldn't? What else is the government not telling us?

Deepest Crimson of all Quadralaterals -

There seems to be one more even more secret state than those hidden 57. If memory serves me correctly Dear Leader Most High Grand PBUH claimed to have visited 57 states and still had yet one more to go. Is this last, unvisited 58th state the "Deep State" we hear referred to but never shown on a map?



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And mind you, comrades, 93 million is just from gun violence. There are still millions more being slaughtered daily due to any one of the following:

No healthcare.

Defunding of Planned Parenthood.

Cuts to unemployment and food stamps.

Climate change.

Republican budget cuts to anything else not listed here.

Not being allowed to use whatever bathroom you want.

Rich people.

Trump's rhetoric.

Trump's presidency.

Hell, just Trump's very existence.

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Chuck Norris can do 93 million, from a distance.


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Chuck has mellowed with age. Most targets in this video are merely injured.


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President Trump lays a wreath at the grave of everyone who was shot yesterday.
wreath.jpg

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Chairman Meow wrote:President Trump lays a wreath at the grave of everyone who was shot yesterday.
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It would appear, however, that Dear Leader Emeritus Obama has inscribed the tombstone. Note that the subject and verb do not agree ("Here lies 93 million..."). This has always been one of Dear Leader Emeritus' most notable rhetorical flourishes.

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“Lie”, “Lies”, “Lay,” ... As you know, English is much more difficult to speak than Cat where a simple “meow” says it all.


 
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