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Just as Mikhail Gorbachev saved the world, and possibly the solar system, from the destructive policies of Ronald Reagan, so too has Kim Jong Un saved the planet from destruction by Trump's reckless and warlike policies.

“I stare him down, and big Yankee blink,” said Un in a celebratory speech given in Pyongyang, a speech peppered by spontaneous applause. “The imperialist aggressor would have surely destroyed the planet if not threatened with an immediate and overwhelming response in retaliation by our forces,” continued Un.

“We stood ready to destroy South Korea and launch missiles against the forces of American oppression, and Yankee murderers Trump and Mattis realized they were no match for our conventional or nuclear forces,” said Un to an impromptu standing ovation.

As the world breathes a sigh of relief, the Nobel Prize Committee met in Oslo, Norway, and unanimously agreed to award the prestigious peace prize to Kim Jong Un. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one member of the council said, “Un has done more for peace than any recipient since Obama or Arafat.” The committee member became visibly emotional pronouncing the late Palestinian leader's name.

Meanwhile, American politicians weighed in on the nomination. Maxine Waters could hardly contain her enthusiasm. “This is the man who freed Korea from Putin, and now he has saved minorities from Trump. I congratulate the leader of North Crimea for this outstanding accomplishment.”

Former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, called a press conference to announce her bid for the 2020 presidential campaign, but took a moment to congratulate the North Korean leader.

“He has *cough* done so much for *cough* and uh…” Unfortunately, Hillary had to excuse herself after her head had stopped bobbing. She reemerged moments later looking much healthier and energetic. After executing a cartwheel and hugging a young girl, she approached the mike. “It's a great day in New York!” she proclaimed.

Un is scheduled to arrive in Norway on December 10 amidst much fanfare to receive the prize.

President Trump simply tweeted, “Another terrorist gets the peace prize. Sad.”

This wouldn't be the first time Dear Leader receives a peace prize. Two years ago he received another one, as reported by major media outlets:

• Washington Post: Yes, Kim Jong Un is receiving an international peace prize
  
• HuffPost: Kim Jong Un Will Receive A Peace Prize Once Awarded To Gandhi
  
• CSM: Why is Kim Jong-un receiving a peace prize?

What else is new?

Don't be so modest, Comrade Blogunov. I bet Lenin's mummy that no other reporter had thought of quoting Maxine Waters when she congratulated Kim on liberating North Crimea from Putin.

We are entering Bizarro People's Cube where everybody loses.

I am calling microagression on every creature here for the cultural insensitivity of referring to Dear Leader as "Un" instead of "Kim" in the culturally appropriate -- and unappropriated, I might add -- manner of the North Crimeans.

And now I am reporting myself as unregenerate and counterrevolutionary for daring to korrekt a Kommissar of the Kollektive. I will be at the train station as soon as rail service has resumed.

RedDiaperette wrote:I am calling microagression on every creature here for the cultural insensitivity of referring to Dear Leader as "Un" instead of "Kim" in the culturally appropriate -- and unappropriated, I might add -- manner of the North Crimeans.

And now I am reporting myself as unregenerate and counterrevolutionary for daring to korrekt a Kommissar of the Kollektive. I will be at the train station as soon as rail service has resumed.

Now, that's a good 'un.