Today we have a trifecta:

#1: Senator Al Franken Kissed and Groped Me Without My Consent, And There's Nothing Funny About It

It looks like Al Franken has already assembled a jury of his peers to judge him at the hearing he has called upon himself earlier today. I was going to make that picture, but thankfully someone did it for me (Ushanka tip to Putin_on_the_Ritz).


A few hours into this news cycle, two new sexual assault stories broke out - and if I weren't such a prog, I could have sworn it almost looks like a well-orchestrated damage control by means of releasing older material that had been corked until an opportune moment such as this.

#2: 16-Year-Old Fan Accused Sylvester Stallone of Forcing Her Into Threesome

#3: CNN: New George H.W. Bush accuser says he groped her during 1992 re-election campaign

While Stallone is denying the allegations, George Bush Sr. isn't even trying because everybody already knows what a depraved loverboy he is. We don't even know if he had fathered George Bush Jr. with his legitimate wife, Barbara, or with some floozy inside a gas station bathroom stall somewhere in the prairies of Texas.

Like I've always said: we should be thankful Bill Clinton had won the presidency in 1992, or we would have been stuck with a sexual pervert in the White House for eight years. Bullet dodged!

In Al Franken's defense, his behavior could be explained by an earlier trauma as he himself had been sexually assaulted by an older Al.

[img]/images/al_Franken_al_Sharpton.jpg[/img]

Also, we made this "Kiss me, I'm a prog prince" picture back in 2009.

Leeann Tweeden says that after he forced his wet kiss on her it was so bad, she thought of him as "fish lips" afterwards. But those were, in fact, "prog lips."

[img]/images/various_uploads/Prog_Prince_AlFranken.jpg[/img]

And here we have a clarification from Comrade Sovremennyy:

Al Franken Didn't do Nothing!

Comrades,

I have in my possession the true, 100% legit, undoctored photograph of Al Franken that has recently been circulating thanks to one of my "contacts" behind a certain Minneapolis Denny's, a fact which is unimportant and you shouldn't explore any further. It clearly shows that all allegations of groping are true, but the target of the groping is no journalist.

As you may remember, the 2008 senate election which Franken won was quite the nailbiter, and if it weren't for ballots like these and a loyal legion of felons previously detained voters, we may never have had this man's words of wisdom grace the senate floor.

Hopefully now we can get back to presenting reliable and trustworthy sources in the face of sexual assault allegations.

Flat Franken:

Al Franken once tried to pet my belly ...

I did not see Ted "Lion of the Senate" Kennedy represented anywhere.

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Al Franken AR-15 Molester Bayonet Attachment

Franken is an equal opportunity molester.

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_America.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_LiberteFrench.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Witch.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Joan_Arc.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Andromeda.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_War_Girl.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Motherland.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Rosie.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_BetsyRoss.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Tribal.jpg[/img]

Trying to pull it with Commissarka Pinkie, however, may have been his biggest mistake...

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Pinkie.jpg[/img]

Almost forgot -

Al Franken and Trigglypuff.

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Triglypuff.jpg[/img]

Al Franken and Mizz Finger Ginger.

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_MelissaClick.jpg[/img]

Al Franken and Sandra Fluke.

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_Fluke.jpg[/img]

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пошёл вон! ты сволочь! противная морда, ты!

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pashol von! ty svoloch! protivnaya morda, ty!

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buzz off! you scum! nasty mug, you!

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... and dragging comrade Franken further into zhe Cherman abyss :


(oculistic syndrome known as "specific M-gendered autogenic bodily fluids hitting the eyeballs".)

via Imgflip Meme Generator

Sven and Ole approve this message. Keeping Minnesota on the map is a good thing.

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On December 10th Meryl will present the lifetime achievement award to Harvey Weinstein... a little holiday cheer for everyone!
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Even Franken wants to run from this one...

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Sometimes you just have to fantasize to make it through the day!
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Jester? or Gesture? You be the judge.

Sexual misconduct Comedy often involves a pie.

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Now everyone is happy...
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hmmm... the revolutionary zeal of precisely one comrade in that glorious ménage à quatre seems to be massively deviating from the Party's shovelling specification...

Comrade Putout wrote:.

... but Craptek is Stakhanov-grade (350%!) gentlemanly!

For the Motherland!

Redistributed from Twitter: Hands up don't grope.

[img]/images/various_uploads/FrankenGrope_CNN_Hands_Up.jpg[/img]

Soon to be on MTV.

Wasn't he the candidate who ran on the slogan "grope and change?"

It sounds familiar, and it's very catchy...

Comrade Stilton is a fellow traveller on the road to Next Tuesday ™

It's not his fault, he was dropped as a baby.

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Только в России - Only in Russia! _______ (so, no wonder they pwn TRRRUMP - remotely!)



P.S.
Ok, maybe the West isn't lost (gymnastically), after all...