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Well folks, it's happening. Large swaths of the country are already without Internet in the wake of yesterday's FCC decision to repeal Net Neutrality, and the rest of the country will probably drop tomorrow.

Zombies are roaming the streets with their phones and iPads, looking for a free wifi signal they can tap into. Or a tin can with string. Something, anything.

Stores are running out of food and supplies rapidly in the affected areas, and officials estimate that by week's end no store in America will have any food left at any price.

Truckers are being stopped on lonely roads in the desert, dragged out of their semis and beaten to death based on rumors that they have satellite Internet that is still working.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (TEOTWAWKI) and all you preppers out there were wise to lay in food, supplies, generators etc. etc. because you're going to need it.

Trump will be in office for another seven years. That's a long time to hold out without Internet, or even food.

BREAKING: Millions of Americans that tragically died after Trump pulled out from the Paris climate Accord will now be forced to die again due to the repeal of Net Neutrality.

As always, women and minorities will be hardest hit.

Additional facts that prove that the repeal of Net Neutrality was a complete disaster:

• Sea levels will rise due to the melting of Arctic ice
  
• Any and all remaining species will become extinct
  
• School shootings will increase
  
• Women will be kept in kitchens, barefoot and pregnant
  
• Armies of homeless will flood American cities
  
• Slavery will be reinstituted in Southern states
  
• LGBTWTF Community will be targeted by the NRA
  
• Obesity will become universal
  
• Jimmy Kimmel will be eaten by a pack of stray dogs

And this is just from the top of my head. How many more undeniable facts are still hiding beneath the surface!

Red Square wrote:BREAKING: Millions of Americans that tragically died after Trump pulled out from the Paris climate Accord will now be forced to die again due to the repeal of Net Neutrality.

And just wait until the hateful tax cuts are passed! Millions will die for a third time! Or even a fourth!

(Note to self: This would be a good time to buy apply for position as Commissar of Gravediggers.)

I think I'll start a broadband service that markets itself as net neutral and super hipster cool and charge all of you naive commies about twice as much and provide half as much as anyone else. Marketing is key. You'll feel good and I'll rob you blind.

I like a good win-lose idea.

Red Square wrote:Millions of Americans that tragically died after Trump pulled out from the Paris climate Accord will now be forced to die again due to the repeal of Net Neutrality.

As always, women and minorities will be hardest hit.

Additional facts that prove that the repeal of Net Neutrality was a complete disaster:

• Sea levels will rise due to the melting of Arctic ice
  
• Any and all remaining species will become extinct
  
• School shootings will increase
  
• Women will be kept in kitchens, barefoot and pregnant
  
• Armies of homeless will flood American cities
  
• Slavery will be reinstituted in Southern states
  
• LGBTWTF Community will be targeted by the NRA
  
• Obesity will become universal
  
• Jimmy Kimmel will be eaten by a pack of stray dogs

Also:

• Dogs and cats sleeping together
  
• Lesbians will resort to cashing in cans and bottles to pay for back alley abortions
  
• "This Old House" will go down in flames
  
• Processed foods will go unprocessed
  
• Mobius toilet paper will finally run out
  
• Arachibutyrophobia will disarm General Foods
  
• Congress will experience amnesia and déjà vu at the same time

Red Square wrote:

• Jimmy Kimmel will be eaten by a pack of stray dogs

Uh, wait a minute. That's a GOOD thing!

.
Or this could happen...
.

$.$. Halliburton wrote:I think I'll start a broadband service that markets itself as net neutral and super hipster cool and charge all of you naive commies about twice as much and provide half as much as anyone else. Marketing is key. You'll feel good and I'll rob you blind.

You could call it Whole Foods Internet!

Oh wait a minute, that name is already taken.

Red Square wrote:BREAKING: Millions of Americans that tragically died after Trump pulled out from the Paris climate Accord will now be forced to die again due to the repeal of Net Neutrality.

As always, women and minorities will be hardest hit.

Additional facts that prove that the repeal of Net Neutrality was a complete disaster:

• Sea levels will rise due to the melting of Arctic ice
  
• Any and all remaining species will become extinct
  
• School shootings will increase
  
• Women will be kept in kitchens, barefoot and pregnant
  
• Armies of homeless will flood American cities
  
• Slavery will be reinstituted in Southern states
  
• LGBTWTF Community will be targeted by the NRA
  
• Obesity will become universal
  
• Jimmy Kimmel will be eaten by a pack of stray dogs

And this is just from the top of my head. How many more undeniable facts are still hiding beneath the surface!

We will have to walk across the room again to change the channels on the TV.

And in a few days - TaxCodeAgeddon!