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President calls demonic homeland 'hellhole'

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Just a week after coming under criticism for his alleged "s***hole countries" remarks, President T**** is again under fire for referring to demonic immigrants as "godforsaken creatures" and their homeland as a "hellhole."

The comments came after Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) officials held a briefing with the President in which they informed him that the number of undocumented demons in the U.S. has reached a record high after steadily increasing during the Obama administration.

Upon hearing this, the President reportedly remarked, "Why do we allow so many godforsaken creatures from a literal hellhole to come into the U.S.?" and suggested Heaven as an alternative source of immigrants.

The "hellhole" to which the President was referring is the demonic homeland of Gehenna, an exotic supernatural realm of diverse inhabitants with a rich cultural history. It is also a popular destination for humans who have retired from life. Gehenna is believed to have been settled since prehistoric times, and its characteristics were most famously documented by the Italian explorer Dante in 1300 A.D.

Although Gehenna boasts a variety of environments, it is most noted for its hot, dry regions. Gehenna originated as an independent kingdom after a group of angels living in Heaven rebelled against what they deemed to be an over-regulatory totalitarian state and subsequently fled to Gehenna to pursue their own happiness. The rebellion was led by Lucifer, who is the current ruler of Gehenna and enjoys the title "Prince of Darkness."

Demons who immigrate to the U.S. from Gehenna have no legal status and literally and figuratively live in the shadows. Most classify as dreamers and therefore fall under the protection of DACA. They also suffer from widespread bigotry and stereotyping, particularly from Right-wing religious groups. Increase in demonic immigration is believed to be spurred in part by rising temperatures in Gehenna due to CO2-induced climate change.

Demons and Democrats alike have noted their disappointment in the President's remarks.

Nineteen-year-old Beelzebub, who was the valedictorian of his high school class, volunteers regularly in homeless shelters, and is currently studying to be a biochemist, was summoned to the U.S. by a coven of witches when he was only three.

Commented Beelzebub, "I am greatly saddened by the President's words. I love both my birth country and the United States. We are alike in many ways, most significantly in that we both rebelled against a tyrannical dictatorship in the name of freedom. If we demons are godforsaken, isn't that an indictment of God, rather than us? And if Gehenna were such a hellhole, why would so many humans choose to move there permanently? Gehenna has accepted many immigrants from the U.S. It is only fair that the U.S. return the favor."

When asked about the President's statement, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Bill and I are well acquainted with several individuals from Gehenna, and they are just like us in many ways. I treat the President's disgraceful comments as if they were directed at me personally."

She also noted the racist undertones in the President's remarks as well as the racist subtext of an agency called ICE threatening to deport demons back to Gehenna, a place known for its hot climate. In response to the President's statements, Clinton pledged to donate $10,000,000 to the Clinton Foundation to help build bridges with demons.

Many Democrats and some Republicans have responded by vowing to retire to Gehenna when their earthly lives end as a show of support for the demonic dreamers' cause. As for Mrs. Clinton, she stated that although the Clintons have never visited Gehenna, she and Bill would "probably go there someday."

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Comrade, I salute your most equal contribution. Great artwork by the way: the demon holding the placard is really frightening! Well photoshopped! O, wait...

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You are hereby invited to the new exhibition "Leftist Absurdist Masters of the 21th century", held in the chemical shed behind tractor barn #2. Admission is one beet ration. PS: Don't feed the squirrel!

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So sad to see what kkkapitalistically enforced Global Warming does to humanity...

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Comrade Jack S. Wilberfarce -

Congratulations with your first promotion to the Mother Page!

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Jack S. Wilberfarce wrote:Gehenna originated as an independent kingdom after a group angels living in Heaven rebelled against what they deemed to be an over-regulatory totalitarian state and subsequently fled to Gehenna to pursue their own happiness. The rebellion was led by Lucifer, who is the current ruler of Gehenna and enjoys the title "Prince of Darkness."
Ha! The first antifas! No wonder Saul Alinsky had such an affinity for their leader.

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I suppose we're supposed to believe that they're just practicing 'organic fertilization'.

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