That reminds me; has anyone heard any more about the effort to award Chairman 0 the Heisman Trophy? I know some joker had started a sarcastic but serious attempt to nominate him. While they're at it, I wonder if there's any way to give him an Academy Award this year? And how about a Pulitzer Prize?
Be on the lookout for anti-muslim sentiment rising up. Report any hatemongers to DHS so they can be quietly done away with.
Here is some major misinformation. Censor any articles like this or just chop off the heads of those who write them.
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=OT ... YxZmVhMjg=
Obviously, our dear Hasan has become a victim of the mysterious "butterfly effect." Somewhere, a seagull probably passed by the window of a home in a village where a young jihadist was praying quietly. Then before you know it, the prayer call grew louder and louder until Hasan found himself talking to an Imam, and then he found himself confused by his conflicting loyalties, and then, poor guy, he succumbed to the fate of carrying out something he never set out to do!
Surely Leninka's crystal ball can uncover the origins of his unfortunate, but unavoidable path.
The poor little Allah Akbar Hasan was ridiculed 24 hours a day, even while he slept, for being a Muslim (they wired his house to shout harassing comments). Even in the middle of the classes he took to earn his degree at the expense of the evil infidel taxpayers, he was harassed. Even those soldiers who came to him for counseling, instead of talking about their own grief at losing fellow soldiers during their 2nd, 3rd, and 4th tours of duty, they chose to harass him, instead. Even the strippers at the night club he frequented harassed him while they danced. Even with his ass up in the air while he prayed, he was harassed.
And then, one day, 5 minutes before the shooting, he snapped. He grabbed whatever arms he could find, ran to the hall, and blind with rage, he started shooting. Oh, and he wasn't yelling Allah Akbar because it is the traditional shout of a mass murdering Muslim while they are doing their mass murdering, it was because half of his brain thought he was in the middle of his afternoon prayers. This is because he couldn't tell his ass from a hole in his head.
Quote:Allah Akbar! I see in my crystal ball the day when Dear Leader will deservedly win an award for pardoning that Mass Murdering Muslim Major at Ft. Hood. I hear Dear Leader and his team are already making sure that reports about any intention of Mr. Allah Akbar Hasan's intent to carry out Jihad are korrectly and justly tempered, as they should be. We must not come to a wrongful conclusion about Mr. Allah Akbar Hasan's intentions.
Could your crystal ball also foretell how soon our loyal jihadist brothers serving in the Amerikkan army will be permitted, yea encouraged, to express their own religious heritage by wearing turbans, daggars and such while on duty, and especially when on an overseas tour. I have heard of such rumblings. It sounds too good to be true! Look out, infidels! (evil, villian laughter).
Quote:I am sure Red Star's Highly trained troopers will behead them in the jihad way as you wish!
If Red Star approves, I have changed my mind about the digital DVD quality of our intimidating beheading videos. There is something to say for the fuzzy, muffled VCR tape image. It gives a barbarian, backward type of impression that is key to their underestimating of our abilities and keep them off guard.
Yes. I hear this day is coming. Along with other allowances, (See Religious Sects Applaud New Military Policy) my crystal ball tells me that all pork will one day be outlawed on military bases in deference to Muslim and Jewish soldiers, that shellfish, too, will be outlawed, that all animals eaten will be slaughtered in a certain way, that no alcohol will be allowed on military bases, in deference to Muslims, and Mormons, that no coffee will be allowed on military bases in deference to Mormons, that no one will be allowed to ride around in cars or other vehicles on the Sabbath, in deference to Orthodox Jews, that no gay men will be allowed to live on military bases, in deference to Muslims, that women and men will eat and live in separate quarters, and all women will wear veils, in deference to Muslims. Oh, there are dozens and dozens more allowances for religious precepts, too numerous to count, but yes, all will be allowed in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday[sup]TM[/sup].
Here you see the phases of his disenchantment. Friendly white kids treat him as a peer. Contention begins as the lunch line gets a little dicey. Finally, he feels ostracized and isolated as he can no longer bear being close to the mean kids anymore.
I know we've probably beaten this topic to death, but making fun of Allah Akbar is one of my favorite things to do.
I was thinking that it might be fun if we all take bets (using our beet rations of course, since money is so "last year") on where the next "minor" terrorist attack will take place. No matter what city you pick, you have a great chance of winning! And since we do not believe in winners and losers, this would make everyone feel special. And I was thinking that for our
Chances are, since these terrorists really are just nut cases, and not really religious fanatics, then I suppose, the next nutcase, so called terrorist attack might take place at some Hollywood rehab/refresh/chill out/refurbish/redo/rehabilitate kind of place, like the one pictured below where many famous Hollywood Glitterati have spent a fortnight or two:
Such a lovely place, isn't it? And you know, right after the attack, they could take the nutcase directly to rehab; no need for any trials or jail time. Really, it is just a mental disorder, not terrorism, after all. And, you know, group therapy does wonders for such afflictions.
The justice system is so barbaric and harsh anyway, that I think it should be completely done away with. It is a waste of the money that we could be using to subsidize gulag expansion projects. Besides capital punishment is only allowed under Sharia law and must not be questioned. In fact under the Laws of Islam, no one must be questioned...that is why there should be not trials.