What happened to the legendary obedience of rock musicians and their compliance with the party line? Aren't they supposed to speak in one voice with the progressive establishment, saying only what has been pre-approved by the High Commissar of the Rock Music Directorate?
Below is a most equal article worthy of the editors of Pravda, who have now apparently moved to the Rolling Stone Magazine...MORE >>
China's sorties in Taiwan's airspace were met swiftly and decisively by our Defense and State Departments.
"First, we are going to vet all of our senior officers to assure that none of them have made any racially motivated jokes about Asians since kindergarten. Secondly, we are going to demand that the People's Liberation Army use gender appropriate pronouns throughout all their ranks...MORE >>
The People's Cube might appeal to more of the masses with a shamelessly commercial ad campaign. Here are some proposals. Add your own if you'd like.MORE >>
After a decades-long uphill battle for the right to bear arms, the NRA decided to just call themselves the Taliban, which gives its members unrestricted access to all kinds of assault weapons paid for by the U.S. taxpayer...MORE >>
In an bold move, Joe Biden announced his unshakable determination in completing his vacation and ensuring that there will be no hasty pullout to his time off.
"No Taliban takeover, no border crises, and no failing economy will ever cause a hastily prepared end to my vacation. I can promise the American people that," declared a steadfast Biden from a golf cart donning the presidential seal...MORE >>
So many headlines contain so many spins, obfuscations, half-truths and outright lies. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to "read between the lines" to discern the hidden truths?
Here are some examples. Perhaps you can provide some of your own.MORE >>
A modern twist on the 1986 Tom Hanks / Shelley Long comedy of the same name. Newlyweds Joe and Nancy decide they're going to try running a prosperous nation... into the ground!
By simply redefining the word 'infrastructure' to mean 'anything,' they can spend taxpayer dollars we don't have on everything we don't want. In one of the funniest scenes in the film, the couple are bickering...MORE >>
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Seante Majority Leader Charles Schumer have vowed to impeach President Trump for inciting Riots™ in Cuba.
"We've seen, over the last 5 years, how former President Trump's rhetoric has incited so much Hate in this country and around the world," Nancy Pelosi stated. ...MORE >>
Supermodel, author, and distinguished twitterer Chrissy Teigen has earned her right to be in the sixth issue of Poor Me Magazine after she has been cancelled amid allegations of cyber-bullying.
Chrissy is "very sorry" to everyone she has hurt by getting caught, and says she is sick and tired of hearing "you're both pretty" when fighting with other models.
Read the recipes from her new family cookbook, Cook With Your D**n Kids
: "You F***ing Jerk Chicken," "Utter S**t Sandwich on Rye," and "Chicken and 'Monumental A**hole' Trumplings" ...MORE >>
As news that one of the dangerous January 6 insurrectionists had a Lego Capitol taken from his home as evidence, further news has leaked that the FBI will likely charge many of his Lego mini-figures with weapons and conspiracy charges. An unknown number of mini-figures was taken into custody. At least four were reportedly cooperating with law enforcement and may have been long-time FBI informants.MORE >>
LANGLEY, VA - In a bid to better multi-culturalize the intelligence community, the CIA has come up with a new plan allowing the agency to meet its diversity quotas and remain flexible in the face of any future adjustments. According to the new plan, the CIA offices will now be staffed by vats of multi-cultural goo instead of agents, while the actual work will be done by artificial intelligence and Chinese back-office staffers.MORE >>
Lansing, MI -- Michigan Governor Gretchen "Big Gretch" Whitmer's announcement of a new multi-million dollar sweepstakes for Michiganders who get the COVID vaccine, received some media attention this week. But not as much as some other Governors who are upping the ante when it comes to effective and interesting uses of tax dollars.MORE >>
Dictionopolis, NY -- Experts from the International Guild of Linguists (IGL) have issued a warning that the word "racism" is being used too often in print and speech. They offer convincing evidence that the word itself is becoming worn out and may become completely unusable in the next 20-40 years if utilization continues at the same pace.MORE >>
This isn't a joke. Already in 2005, soon after The People's Cube was born, Google canceled us by removing the site from their search registry. Soon afterwards Cafepress canceled our "Che is Dead" t-shirts. In the next few years our numerous products also got canceled by Zazzle and Spreadshirt. Once we signed up on Facebook and Twitter, our posts got repeatedly canceled, our account suspended for days and weeks...MORE >>
The People's Cube is 16 years old - but that's in Laika-the-Space-Dog years. Our researchers at the Karl Marx Treatment Center tell us that to a human - which describes most of our members - it is only one year. So we are pretty young still, and maybe that's also why we're a bit disoriented about current events.MORE >>
If you think the events of the January 6th "insurrection" at the U.S. Capitol will never be faithfully described in an award-winning movie, you are mistaken. Such a fact-based movie had been made and released to critical acclaim last year, before the above events even occurred. It is titled "Dear Comrades!" and I watched it last night online. And so can you...MORE >>
Comrades! Fact Cheka wear is here!
Wear the spiffy red shirt to remind people that you're a Party™ member and that you too are watching. Relish the fear you instill in others just by wearing this t-shirt.
Denounced? No problem! The t-shirt also comes in GULAG grey and is made of durable fabric guaranteed to last as long as your prison sentence.MORE >>
Dating a dictator can be a scary and dangerous endeavor. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures...MORE >>
Mackey was conspiring to disseminate misinformation, my fellow travelers - everyone knows you have to vote repeatedly by mail or send in boxes of printed, unfolded voting forms after midnight to have a righteous election! I don't think this worthless prole even suggested connecting voting machines to the internet for manipulating tallies, as is properly done now in swing states.MORE >>
Impeaching Trump is not enough! We must impeach all Republicans who might run for president without Democratic-Socialist approval. We are open to nominations for The Executive Purge List from all approved members of The Party™ (we know who you are.)
There is currently only one "Protected Republican" on The Party™ Approval List, though "protection" is limited and temporary...MORE >>
it warms my old Soviet heart greatly to finally see Next Tuesday arriving, after all these years of waiting patiently!!
And among the many joys Next Tuesday brings is finally seeing white supremacist militia leaders like Mike Lindell of "MyPillow™" being unpersoned!
What a glorious new day is dawning!MORE >>
American Comrades! Welcome to the global fraternity of managerial regimes, theocracies and socialist dictatorships! Now that your last bastion of freedom has fallen, some of you might consider moving. This handy comparison table will help you choose your own preferred flavour of despotism. After all, the little differences between the regimes is what adds flavour to life. Until you get executed, that is. Enjoy!MORE >>
New addition to Newspeak 2.6:Peaceful protests:
"Breaking into private property to voice your opinion while harassing those inside and causing damage", synonym: warm expression of one's feelings, people doing what people do (cfr Pelosi, 2020).Domestic terrorism:
"Breaking into wherever politicans work to voice your opinion while harassing those inside and causing damage"; synonym: Coup attempt, right wing violence.MORE >>
I'm happy to report that I've just published my second book, Hotel USSR
. It's a story of а young man coming of age in a totalitarian state. He wants to be an artist but he isn't authorized to buy paints. He wants to see the world but the authorities brand him as politically unreliable. He wants to get married but the system separates him from his bride. He listens to Hotel California
and wishes he had their problems: he himself is stuck in a real-life trap that he "can never leave," and he calls it Hotel USSR. To check out, he must break every rule in the book.MORE >>
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