American Comrades! Welcome to the global fraternity of managerial regimes, theocracies and socialist dictatorships! Now that your last bastion of freedom has fallen, some of you might consider moving. This handy comparison table will help you choose your own preferred flavour of despotism. After all, the little differences between the regimes is what adds flavour to life. Until you get executed, that is. Enjoy!MORE >>
New addition to Newspeak 2.6:Peaceful protests:
Â "Breaking into private property to voice your opinion while harassing those inside and causing damage",Â synonym: warm expression of one's feelings, people doing what people do (cfr Pelosi, 2020).Domestic terrorism:
Â "Breaking into wherever politicans work to voice your opinion while harassing those inside and causing damage"; synonym: Coup attempt, right wing violence.MORE >>
In essence, communism is a desire never to grow up and to have Christmas all year round.
Marxists dream of a carefree world ruled by Santa, with exciting gifts for all obedient boys and girls.
Tell them it's not a viable scenario, and they'll put you on a long list of bad boys and girls who must be imprisoned before the wonderful dream of living on Santa's lap can finally be achieved.MORE >>
We all have that friend, coworker, or odd relative who just doesn't get it.
In an enlightened age in which everybody understands America is founded on inequality, racism, and slavery, we're all surprised when some white rube blathers on about America being a land of opportunity. Why doesn't everybody see only two classes of an oppressive upper class and a downtrodden lower class?..MORE >>
1) The Lord is like a shepherd ... Hey, I got a shepherd, and he dropped a ball for me and for me to grab the ball and go down the alleyway from the shower to my bed and I pulled on his tail a little, and thats how I broke my foot ...... And uh, I shall not want, you know ... the thing
2) And he maketh me lie down ... Hey, just like Jill makes me lie down for a nap at 10 in the morning...MORE >>
Porgy & Bess for our age: a more progressive libretto
In our progressive version of the opera, Porgy is not a crippled beggar on Catfish Row, but an Assistant Professor at Catfish University - and Bess is a powerful woman with a penis.MORE >>
Dominion Voting Systems has officially apologized for the way they organized the voting fraud in the presidential elections. The company takes full responsibility for the blatant statistical anomalies and late-night vote dumps.
"Our algorithms were not optimally tested. We had to laugh about some of the results ourselves! But we assure the public: during the Georgia runoffs, the fraud will go smoothly."MORE >>
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Person of the Year flies like a stolen election.
The Person of the Year's pronoun is Xi. MORE >>
"Science says" is a game Democrats have invented to tell us what to do. It's like "Simon says" only for adults.How Do You Play Science Says?
One person or a group assumes the role of the leader and calls out the actions. Everyone else must follow the leader and do the action, but only when the command is prefaced with the phrase "science says."MORE >>
The #MeToo movement declared president Trump the winner of the recent presidential election stating, "he claimed to be a victim of voter fraud, and you should always believe the victim."
A spokespersoncxz for the radical feminist group explained that they had no choice if they wanted to avoid being called "a bunch of stinking hypocrites."MORE >>
20% off with code BESTZAZGIFTS - ends today
The Visual Agitation and Propaganda Directorate has addressed the most urgent issues of the day: fighting unsafe situations caused by unsafe speech in unsafe spaces.
Many unfortunate accidents that happened last weekend in our nation's capital to Trump supporters, as filmed by independent Antifa and BLM observers, could have been...MORE >>
Somewhere on our planet, in some Third-World banana republic, a coup d'Ă©tat is at work, to topple a legitimate government. Luckily for us, such a thing could never happen here.
It all happened according to historical precedents. The forces trying to usurp power used their total control over the media apparatus and broadcasting systems...MORE >>
There was no election fraud because two minutes before the election we changed the definition of the word "fraud."
Other words that will be considered for an overhaul in the next edition of NewSpeak are...
Experts at NASA have discovered a large object heading towards earth, made up completely of Joe Biden ballots. After calculating its mass, the scientists concluded that the meteorite contains approximately 19,000,000,000,000 galactic mail-in-ballots. An astronomical number, indeed.MORE >>
Meet Ruloneum - a talented ex-Soviet and now American artist who posts his cartoons under a made-up name because mocking communists in today's America is almost as dangerous as it was under communism in the USSR. He can lose his work over this and we all know it's true.MORE >>
BLM is only a gimmick. Just like all the other gimmicks in the recent past - like ozone holes or transgender bathrooms - it will soon be replaced by another gimmick, which the media will call a national emergency and an existential issue of the day.
The gimmick is never the gimmick. The gimmick is always the revolution.MORE >>
Snopes looks at the People's Cube quote that some fools attributed to Nelson Mandela - and credits it to a guy named Mohamad Safa, who is much better suited for this trophy as a promising UN bureaucrat, an ardent advocate of socialism and of the resettlement of Middle-Easterners in the West, and who is now very politically-correctly gloating over Donald Trump getting sick with the Coronavirus.MORE >>
A newly released bombshell report may guarantee the re-impeachment of Donald Trump, according to many political analysts. The report, contained in a document that originated with a yet unnamed source, states that a whistleblower, who desires to remain anonymous, has claimed that a politician, who has not been explicitly identified, has committed a crime, the nature of which is, as of yet, unspecified.MORE >>
Before you take this test, we want to stress that having a mental illness should not make you feel ashamed. Seek professional help if you experience any of the following symptoms during the assessment:
- You start seeing Russians everywhere around you
- You feel the need to burn buildings
- You start convulsing uncontrollably...MORE >>
Biden took a solid second place in the debate, while Trump came next to last
What did you see happen at the debate?
OPEN THREAD...MORE >>
The undetermined candidate to replace RBG in the Supreme Court, the one whose name Trump will presumably announce next Saturday, will be a lying, dog-faced pony soldier psycho.
According to various anonymous sources (who do not yet know who the candidate will be), he or she (or xiz) molested and killed a number of women at a party about 10 to 50 years ago...MORE >>
Are you a journalist working for the mainstream media? Is your boss asking you to come up with another fake story about Trump? Inventing hoaxes can be hard work, we know! But now your troubles are gone thanks to the revolutionary new HoaxGenâ„˘.
Create an endless stream of Trump hoaxes without the slightest effort!MORE >>
Is it just me or have you also noticed that our fellow travelers from the intersectional feminist / witchcraft / voodoo / Gaia community seem to place inordinate significance on the power of their vaginas? They seem to find an endless number of uses for their reproductive organ except the actual reproduction. Just think of all their vagina costumes, the millions of pussyhats...MORE >>
Don't let the progs redefine the true meaning of labor!
Who do you trust more?
A. Dr. Fauci
B. Dr. Pepper
C. Dr. Seuss
D. Dr. Evil
Write-in candidates are encouraged.MORE >>
America is NOT divided by race, color, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. America is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, color, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
This meme has now been shared by James Woods, Donald Trump, Jr., and many others.MORE >>
Replacing NYC teachers with robots will not only protect the children from the coronavirus, but will also allow their human teachers to return to their daily routine of protesting against capitalism in the streets, looting, setting cars on fire, and attacking the police.
Robots will also help to change the society for the better by hunting down and eliminating all the anti-borg bigots. Resistance is futile...MORE >>
The Massachusetts best-selling book exploring the counterproductive reactions witches have when their denials of witchcraft are challenged, and how these reactions maintain spiritual inequality.
Soon to be followed up with Volume 2: Red Fragility - Why It's So Hard for Communists to Confess Their Marxism. MORE >>
Trump's idea to create more historical monuments was clearly a boorish insult to the Democratic leadership's noble effort to remove all references to American history from the nation's streets, which has been a part of their larger project of erazing the nation's historical memory and replacing it with a better, revised and improved memory that supports the progressive narrative...MORE >>
WASHINGTON, DC - Various eyewitnesses have reported that Bill and Hillary Clinton have fled the country during the dark morning hours of July 4th, after it became known that Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffery Epstein's former accomplice, had agreed to "give names" to the FBI of those involved in Epstein's pedophile ring...MORE >>
Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created. Employment had been equally guaranteed to anyone who cared to work, along with an equal pay of exactly $1,000 a week regardless of outcome, occupation, or the geographical area.MORE >>
The glorious revolution in Seattle's CHAZ/CHOP is at an end. Evil capitalist "police" forces are taking control of the commune as we speak, in response to some -ahum- minor problems of the revolutionary government like robberies, rapes and a couple of murders.
Therefore, the Current Truth has been updated: CHAZ/CHOP was NOT real socialism! It was never real socialism! Next time when we try...MORE >>
Literally all Yul Brynner movies must be literally banned because Yul Brynner was literally Russian. He had no right to play any of the varuious ethnic characters.MORE >>
What began as a peaceful demonstration by Black Hawk pilots frustrated after years of being marginalized by Chinook pilots turned suddenly violent.
As crowds of aviators were shouting, "Justice for Igor Sikorsky!" a few broke away and began vandalizing CH-47s spray painting "Black Hawk Lives Matter!" on their fuselages...MORE >>
Have you seen the Nursing Home Killer? He is currently responsible for the deaths of 6,250 at-risk elderly patients after he knowingly sent COVID:19 patients to New York State's nursing homes instead of any of the far safer places where the pandemic would not have spread to the most vulnerable elderly.
New York had the USNS Comfort, the Jacob Javits Center, the $21million Red Hook Facility in Brooklyn...MORE >>
With nothing to look at, visitors are absolved of any grief in their lives. By peacefully meditating in the air where offensive art once stood, visitors can more efficiently process their own guilt, and decide whether that guilt should still be placed on other people (Answer: Yes.)
After looking at the financial statements, the museum board believes it is cheaper to run a museum with no exhibits ...MORE >>
The FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force investigating recent riots has confirmed the capture of a long-sought suspect who they believe is the instigator and spiritual leader of the nationwide operation.
Ernesto Guevara, better known as "Che," has been captured in a safe house in downtown Minneapolis. His identity was established by comparing his face to one of the Che T-shirts scattered around the house...MORE >>
When I was in 8th grade one of the books that was required reading was Heinlein's Tunnel in the Sky â€“ about a group of high school kids that got stranded on an unihabited wild planet. It was Heinlein's answer to Golding's Lord of the Flies.
The kids, rather than devolving to a primitive state of affairs, managed to rise above that inclination BECAUSE they were able to draw on the lessons...
Events took an unexpected turn yesterday evening when a large crowd of Antifa and BLM activists descended on the "Al Qabal" mosque in downtown Seattle and burnt it to the ground.
The peaceful protesters were apparently provoked by certain passages in Islamic scripture that endorse slavery...
We've all heard about the Antifa collective who have seized six city blocks in downtown Seattle and are now trying toÂ set up a collective farmÂ there.
As a former Soviet citizen, I feel obligated to offer their leaders advice based on practical experience.
Since none of you know how to grow seeds into beets, make Mike Bloomberg your minister of agriculture...MORE >>
The Minneapolis City Council disband their Police Force, turning the city into a gang war zone.
The federal government surrounds it with a wall and starts using it as a maximum security prison.
Breaking out is impossible. Breaking in is insane.MORE >>
The Ayn Rand Center Israel contacted me after our publication ofÂ Mysterious stacks of bricks at riot sites
Â picture - but they asked if I could change the names of the bricks to corrupt philosophical concepts, ideologies, and personality traits. I altered the image; they made a donation to the People's Cube, and published it to illustrate their own coverage of the rioting.
But first I had suggested they send me a list of concepts arranged in the order of magnitude, and they proposed this hierarchy... MORE >>
Following the overwhelming positive response to the creation of "Black Lives Matter Plaza," Washington D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser has announced plans for further Progressive name changes.
Future changes include renaming a portion of Pennsylvania Ave "Arsonist Avenue" to honor these pioneers of radical urban renewal. A Section of New York Avenue will be designated "Looter's Lane"...MORE >>
Current Truth Update! Important! The war on Covid
has now been replaced with America has NEVER been at war with Covid.
Once we burn everything down, we'll demand a new lockdown and the Current Truth will be again, America has ALWAYS been at war with Covid.MORE >>
The recent social media trend of posting black squares engendered this deep thought: if we use a black cube instead of our vaunted red cube for at least 24 hours, it would eliminate all racism.
And tomorrow we'll say we already 'listened to' enough voices to make racism vanish, recycle the black cube, and go back to posting glamour selfies and stuff.MORE >>
Help the confused activist make the correct choice.
1) The Bible is Fiction OR
Not a Prop?
2) Looting by White Supremacists OR
It's Just Property?
3) Social Distancing OR
4) Call the Police OR
F*** the Police?
5) Human Life Valuable OR
6) America Founded by White Racists OR
Riots No Different than Boston Tea Party?
7) Think for Yourself OR
Silence is Consent?MORE >>
Peaceful protestor Liberty Valance joined this week's protests by burning down to the ground the frontier town of Shinbone and shooting to death everyone in the way of social justice, including the lawyer Ranse Stoddard, several cats, dogs and horses.
"I just wanted to draw attention to our oppressive system of law of systemic oppression that oppresses the system...MORE >>
According to reports, in cities around the US bricks are being delivered to riot locations and used to destroy property.
We decided to take a closer look and here's what we found.MORE >>
Riot logic is the belief that any superficial parallel can justify your emotional rage and point to your moral superiority.
Sound like fun? Well, you too can become a Social Media Puritan and an expert in Riot Logic! It's not hard, the less you think about it, the better. Here are some useful pro tips to guide you on your way to becoming the next SMP (trade secret - being White has certain advantages for SMPs)...MORE >>
A number of top national celebrities have taken time off from their important jobs of calling Trump Voters "Nazi!" to show their solidarity with the little people.
Patton Oswalt, Steve Carrell, Don Cheadle, and Seth Rogan lead a list of our betters who are donating their hard-earned money to bail out the AntiFa protesters arrested for simply minding their own business while setting fire to the store they just looted in their quest for justice and peace...MORE >>
Congratulations to Comrade Chedoh - todayÂ his story about Gov. WhitmerÂ was debunked by Reuters.
I especially like that they listed his full credentials - "Chedoh, Kommissar of Viral Infections, Hero of Change, Prophet of the Future Truth".
If one skims through the Reuters article quickly,Â one may get the impression that it was our spoof that sparked protests...
As we all know, the State has decided to lovingly and gloriously redistribute $1200 to our lowly ration accounts.
Now is the perfect time to redistribute another People's Kube to yourself, or even an autographed copy of Shakedown Socialism or Hotel USSR. Doing so will remove copies of Anti-Kommunist books from bookstore shelves...MORE >>
There's a badass virus, bringing danger
Now everyone you see acts like a stranger
For only shopping's sake another chance you take
Fauci says we won't live to see tomorrow
Secret virus scam, secret virus scam
They've given it a number and COVID is its name...
LANSING, MI- Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan took her already excessive restrictions in her state in the fight against Covid-19 a step further this morning when she announced that any violations of the executive order may authorize the use of lethal force by law enforcement.
The Michigan Governor stated, "If you think you can just go out and buy a bag of charcoal, think again....MORE >>
As all progressive humanity celebrates the Glorious 15th Anniversary of The People's Cube, we officially advise you to conduct spontaneous celebratory marches within at least six feet from one another in square formations. The Great Pandemic of International Coronavirus dictates that workers of the world must unite cautiously and without touching...MORE >>
We were minding our own business tonight, sharing our ration of beet vodka with comrades and not bothering anybody, when along came Facebook and blocked our access for 30 days - for something we posted more than four years ago, a spoof of CNN's Fareed Zakaria.
Far be it from us to accuse Facebook of blatant political bias, let alone of being petty, vindictive, and making no sense...MORE >>
Who would Joe Biden choose as his running mate? This question loomed ever since Biden became the apparent 2020 Democratic presidential nominee, and it was finally answered today.
Biden and his advisors were looking for a candidate with sufficient name recognition and the ability to bring down Donald Trump's presidency by canceling his crowded rallies and reducing his voter base...
We've got ourselves a nice crisis here, it would be a shame if something happened to it. In these glorious times, our foremost advice to all high-ranking Party members is to keep talking about the pandemic until Trump's presidency falls on its back and dies like the coronavirus victim that it is.
Since Trump's reelection depends on a strong economy, we must by all means paralyze all economic activity...MORE >>
Don't go on vacation or take cruisesw this spring break - you can find just as much water and sun in your local community if you know where to look.
As always around this time in election season, our Party's strength depends on how much fear and panic we can spread among the gullible population. To that end, we encourage all Party members to lead by example...MORE >>
Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, who is threatening to defeat Joe Biden in the 2020 Democratic primary, has been offered an exorbitant advance in a book deal that puts to shame the meager $575,000 vacation home he had bought after conceding to Hillary Clinton in 2016, sources say.
Tentatively titledÂ Das Krapital
, the book is going to be a compilation...MORE >>
To all oppressed persons of gender:
All GENITALS BELONG TO THE STATE!MORE >>
Brought to you by Americans for Sex Change and Society For Advancement Of Secondary Sexual Characteristics
Having just received a sort of notice in the mail which contained 2,500 good reasons to vote for Bloomberg, I'm here to tell you that I'm all in for Mike.
First of all, Mike is smarter than you. And me. You see, any ordinary schlock could be you or me, but it takes gray matter to be Mike. You may only be a doctor, a veteran, an emergency responder, or just a farmer. Anybody can do that. Mike has gray matter, lots of it...MORE >>
A lot can be learned about a person by how they maintain their household and especially with regard to their personal hygiene practices.
One can only learn so much from documents such as tax returns and each candidate's professional resume (CV). We needed more personal papers.
So we sent our reporter - disguised as a plumber - behind the scenes...
He said "kill it" to his pregnant employee as a condition to her further employment, but these words can be applied more broadly, to encompass all his campaign promises on global warming, gun control, abortions, taxes, and soda drinks.If you can't regulate it, kill it. If you can't kill it, buy it. If you can't buy it, steal it.MORE >>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but my Joe Biden theoryÂ is confirmed more and more every day. Let's start from the beginning.
At first Biden is reluctant to run. But in the spring of 2019 he gets wind of Trump investigating his corruption in Ukraine - and he immediately enters the race on 4/25/19. On the trail he looks old, tired, and his heart just isn't in it. Why do it then? Because it's about a lot more things than simply running for president...MORE >>
Dating a dictator can be a scary and dangerous endeavor. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures...MORE >>
For those who have discovered The People's Cube only recently: we have been following Rush Limbaugh very closely throughout the years and have compiled an impressive Rush Dossier, detailing his many exploits.Rush Limbaugh Hails the People Cube's Editorial Cartoon
"It's a great, great, great cartoon because this is how libs see America today"...MORE >>
Responding to criticism that its initial diversity version of Moby Dick was merely a "fish tale in blackface", Barnes and Noble vowed to radically restructure Melville's pondersous tome
Too begin with, the whale will no longer be a neutral symbol of unstoppable, remorseless nature. Rather, it will be recast as a sort of immense guardian whale shepherd who protects the more vulnerable members...
In a historic speech delivered with emotion in his voice, Senator Mitt Romney announced Wednesday that he would publicly cut off his nose to spite the face. The Utah senator is the only Republican who has responded to this latest Democratic challenge.
Speaking on the floor of the Senate, Romney said he hated his Republican face ever since the 2012 election..MORE >>
Lead House Impeachment Manager Congressman Adam Schiff of California stated during closing arguments in the Senate trial that he had irrefutable proof President Trump was going toÂ give Alaska back to the Russians.
He had learned about it just an hour ago, Schiff claimed, from an anonymous whistleblower who approached him during lunch. He was wearing a brown paper bag over his head...MORE >>
One Wheel of Fortune contestant lost out on some major prize money on Thursday night when he failed to recognize a name he was intimately familiar with.
Adam Schiff, who was playing alongside fellow Democratic House Managers during the impeachment trial, was the leader heading into the last round. But his guesses left some viewers confused. ...MORE >>
Sometimes we follow other people's advice at our own peril, especially if they advise us about matters they have no knowledge of. This happened to several people who watched aÂ recent interviewÂ of congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, in which she revealed the dirty, capitalist-pig secret of how to become a billionaire.
"No one makes a billion dollars, they take a billion dollars," she said...MORE >>
Comrade Schiff dazzled dozens of CNN viewers by deftly quoting the Founding Fathers in the well of the Senate. His timely references to Lenin were heartwarming to this news reporter:
- There are no morals in politics; there is only expedience. A scoundrel may be of use to us just because he is a scoundrel.
- The press should be not only a collective propagandist and a collective agitator...
In a recent stump speech, current Democrat frontrunner Bernie Sanders addressed the growingÂ crisis of lonelinessÂ in America. "Being lonely is a violation of the right not to be lonely," declared Senator Sanders, adding that loneliness was the result of "the tyranny of the patriarchal, white supremacist, capitalist system creating too many opportunities for individual choices."MORE >>
In what was destined to be the worst terrorist event in our nation's history, people's hero, Ralph Northam stepped up to the plate and prevented mass anarchy and bloodshed. News cameras captured several incidents of white gun owners arm in arm with black gun owners, protesters menacingly waving placards, gun owners picking up trash, and other violent episodes at the white supremacy rally held yesterday in Richmond.
Meghan Markle is the quintessential empowered Progressive woman. She not only cares, but she tirelessly travels the world raising awareness of how much she cares about all the issues that matterâ€”and like every empowered Progressive woman, she has the uncanny ability to make an issue out of anything and everything. She's a strong woman of independent thought if not means...MORE >>
Meghan Markle's husband is running away from home with her to an uncertain future as an abused, cuckolded, gaslit house-husband in Canada.
He has given up the only thing he is known for and has no identifiable job skills.
Meghan has returned to theÂ ornamentÂ 8-month old child they left behind in Canada...
When will it stop, comrades? When will the War Criminal Trump, who stole the election with Russian help from Ukraine, be stopped from repeatedly starting World War III?
From the earliest days of his illegal presidency, the War Criminal Trump has been a loose cannon in foreign affairs, destroying the carefully crafted diplomatic matrix that has sustained an acceptable level of terrorism on a global scale...MORE >>
There must be some bitter rivalry in the prog-media's terrorist eulogy sector. "Austere scholar," "most revered," and now this.
This passionate Soleimani eulogy in the New Yorker reads like a romance novel. I looked it up and indeed, it was authored by someone who seems to be a vulnerable woman with the hots for brutal Islamic strongmen. Robin Wright is the New Yorker's eminent expert on Iran...MORE >>
A Trump era remake of the Benghazi story '13 Hours' has just finished filming in Baghdad. Titled '13 Minutes,' it chronicles the short period from when the U.S. Marines landed at our Baghdad embassy to when the Iran-backed militias ran away losing their sandals.
Starring John Krasinski and such crowd pleasers as Apache helicopters, the remake is admittedly much more enjoyable than the Obama-era original...MORE >>
Former president Obama, known as an avid reader of books that other people only buy to decorate their interiors with, continued his tradition of releasing aÂ listÂ of his favorite books of the year, all so the rest of us would know which titles we should put on our coffee tables while pretending we have read and liked them.
As always during this festive time of year, an email from a trusted Soros-funded source informed our former presidentt...MORE >>
How did the ancient mass media report the alleged birth of Christ? The People's Cube prepared the following compilation of quotes from the Roman and Judean sources, which should help our readers to form an unbiased opinion of what really happened in the days surrounding the so-called Christmas.MORE >>
I'm happy to report that I've just published my second book,Â Hotel USSR
. It's a story of Đ° young man coming of age in a totalitarian state. He wants to be an artist but he isn't authorized to buy paints. He wants to see the world but the authorities brand him as politically unreliable. He wants to get married but the system separates him from his bride. He listens toÂ Hotel California
Â and wishes he had their problems: he himself is stuck in a real-life trap that he "can never leave," and he calls it Hotel USSR. To check out, he must break every rule in the book.MORE >>
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