I am back Comrades!
Stooge of the RevolutionI come to you, as I know that you are really the top dog here. In my many years of absence here, during my mandatory suggested vacation in the North, for retraining, I could only think of reporting back here for duty, and vodka rations. In the tropical paradise that the state paid my all expenses vacation, in the North of Siberia, I learned two things. The truth, and it was sure cold there. But truth can take many forms when you have enough Volka. And here I am hoping to drink a lot more truth.
But enough of this whining Laika. What I see in my absence is a feeling of capitalism has taken root here. Can it be such? Tell me this is not true Comrade Laika? I ask you to put the bite on those Revisionists now running the Cube, and return this site to its rightful Stalinist ways.
We must all think alike, without any deviation whatsoever. In that way, and in only that way, can we ever be free.
Your Friend, and forgotten Comrade,
Stooge of the Revolution
Official May Day Address 2009 (Featuring Fearless Leader)
Laika the Space Dog |
It is no coincidence that We deserve a three-day weekend! |
Comrades!Sunday Sermon By The Reverend L. Space Dogged
Laika the Space DogAs we all know, Carbon is Evil. Especially the carbon dioxide being exhaled by RethugliKKKans this very second and it needs to stop.
Unfortunately, not enough gulags have been built yet to labor them to death so they can go see their false "Judeo-Christian God".
In the meantime we must reduce carbon emissions, eliminate carbon footprints, and cap, cap, cap and when we're done capping, cap some more.
"Cap and Trade" is the most Holy of Holy Rituals here in the Reformed Church of Climatology (aka "The Goremons")
Worship the Weather Stone and sing the praise of Cap and Trade!
Since the gulags aren't ready, we must build wind turbines!
Yes, wind turbines!
A warning from the Church!
Under penalty of ex-communication YOU ARE NOT to inform these extremely useful idiots that:
A) To make steel, you must mine coal
B) Coal must then be fired into coke
C) Coke is used to heat the blast furnaces
D) Iron ore must be mined
E) All of the mined resources must be transported via diesel burning locomatives to the steel mills
F) The iron ore must be melted in furnaces with other mined alloys to make steel
G) There is a lot of smelly, toxic by-products more dangerous than CO2 in the steelmaking process.
H) Cap and Trade means shooting America's steelmaking capability in both kneecaps, crippling even further our own ability to produce steel. The steel that will build these turbines will come from China, Brazil, South Korea, etc...who will not be subject to "Cap and Trade" or completely ignore it if they sign this worthless scrap of paper.
Go In Peace and Serve Al Gore.
Official May Day Address 2008
Laika the Space Dogand Fifth Column McCain Supporters:
 | Comrades! Such Progress Our Progressive Progressivism the World Has Never Seen! May Day! The Festivus of Communism! |
Russia: Trailblazing Canine Cosmonaut Remembered
Cellardweller1942The flight was a crowning triumph for the Soviet Union in the emerging space race with the United States. Just a month earlier, Moscow had successfully lifted Sputnik I, the world's first satellite, into orbit.
Â
'Victory For Mankind'
Oleg Mukhin, the vice president of the Russian Federation of Astronautics, says November 3, 1957, was a victorious day for the USSR. "It was a victory for the whole country and a global achievement," he says. "It symbolized mankind's science, it was a victory for mankind. Of course, we are proud that our country took these first, great steps into the cosmos."
Â
But amid the cheering, one man was grieving for the ill-fated dog. Oleg Gazenko, the director of the Institute of Biomedical Problems, was responsible for training Laika. He knew the Sputnik II aircraft that would take the dog to space did not have the technology necessary to return her safely to Earth.
Â
"Newspapers, radio, and television were ecstatic," Gazenko says. "But I must admit that my heart was very heavy. Firstly, I understood that the animal would not be able to come back to Earth. Secondly, I knew that the temperature in the rocket's cabin gradually rose during the first hours. I guessed that the dog was dead."
Â
Soviet scientists originally planned for Laika to spend seven days in orbit before being euthanized. But due to a malfunction in the thermal-control system, Laika died of stress and heat exhaustion within hours of the launch.
Â
Five months and 2,570 orbits later, in April 1958, her capsule burned up upon reentry into the Earth's atmosphere.
Â
Ahead of the Sputnik II mission, several dogs had been flown to the stratosphere on a rocket and parachuted back to Earth. But for the first space flight, Gazenko picked Laika from a pool of three canines selected for the experiment. He describes Laika as a friendly, endearing dog.
Â
Gazenko says Laika's six-month training was intense. "She had to be trained to sit still in a small cubicle, to eat gel-like food dispensed by a small machine, to get used to the stress and irritating aspects of space flight," Gazenko says. "We accustomed her to the sound of rocket engines and spun her in a centrifuge."
Â
The mutt was also trained to wear a spacesuit dotted with sensors to monitor her heartbeat, blood pressure, and breathing.
Â
Despite Laika's ordeal, the mission was deemed a success. By proving that a mammal could survive liftoff and weightlessness, Laika paved the way for manned flights to outer space.
Â
In April 1961, the world's first cosmonaut, the Soviet Union's Yury Gagarin, blasted into space.
Â
State Secret Revealed
The circumstances surrounding Laika's death remained a state secret for 45 years. To soothe outraged animal lovers around the globe, Soviet officials insisted the four-legged cosmonaut had died peacefully after a week in space, by eating a specially planned toxic substance that mission organizers said would allow for a painless euthanasia.
Â
The truth was revealed only in 2002 by Dmitry Malachenkov, a scientist who had worked on the Sputnik II mission.
Â
To this day, the 88-year-old Gazenko says he is regularly gripped by remorse over Laika's death. But perishing in space, he says, was Laika's fate.
"Unfortunately, the mission was necessary," he says. "Before Laika's flight, we were able study the effects of weightlessness for just a few minutes. Laika's flight showed that the path to space was open for the Earth's living beings."
Link: http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/20 ... 7fb2b.html
Official May Day Address 2007
Groupthink | Annual Transmission to Toiling Masses on occasion of May 1st International Workers' Solidarity Day Delivered by Laika the Space Dog, Member of Politburo, Friend of Progressive People Workers, peasants, and the unwashed toiling intelligentsia! < prolonged applause > Congratulations on surviving another glorious year of Revolution! This year we witnessed the collapse of the Republican Capitalist voting system! For the first time since 1994 no voting irregularities were reported in the mainstream media. The record turnout of dead voters, whom we like to call "necro-proxies of progress" has given the Democratic Socialists an absolute mandate to do whatever they damn well please in both The House of Representatives and The Senate. The absolutist rule of the Democratic majority shall bury the silly idea of a "republic" once and for all. Oh yes! We will bury you! |
'Twas the Night Before Miraj
Laika the Space Dog | Gather round Young Pioneers and Little Jihadis and let Aunt Laika tell you a poem. Now in the decadent West, they have a myth about Santa Claus and Reindeer that can fly. We all know that is not true and even if it was true, Santa Claus would be an enemy of the state because he keeps elves as slaves and beats the Reindeer with whips. The ACLU and PETA would have sued him and his fat, jolly butt would be in the slammer. Now in the progressive Islamic Republics, especially Iran, there is The Prophet and Bourak. Bourak is half man and half flying horse and the Prophet flies on his back to the farthest mosque (Jerusalem), heaven and hell, and the houses of misery and happiness. This is done on the night as what is known on the infidel calendar as August 22, and true believers call this the Miraj. |
2006 Annual May Day Communiqué From Laika
Red SquareYou may now put on your tinfoil hats to receive the transmission.
 | In honor of Dan Rather, Komrade Kenneth will assist Dan in sending the signal. The frequency is now set. Dan, you may throw the switch and begin transmission: Today Comrades, millions of socialists are taking to the streets of Amerika to advance the cause of the Welfare State! All borders shall be removed! The Mexicomintern Council has been working very hard with La Raza these past few months, blending fascism and socialism to come up a unique brand of progressive thought which is bound to destroy the Evil Gringo Bush and his capitalist knaves. Assimilation? No! Domination? Yes! Free stuff (hospital care) for everybody! We'll march today and get drunk on Friday, Cinco de Mayo! Even the Mexicans have kicked French Ass! |
Carter has escaped the Gulag! Last seen at GQ Magazine!
Laika the Space Dog | UnderDog and I took a long deserved holiday... boating in the Black Sea, skiing in the Urals, photographing the people's struggle in France. (which has been mis-labeled as "riots" by the vast right wing media conspiracy) It was mid December when Udie and I made it back to the USSA. At this time Udie popped the question... would I marry him? I told him I had to think it over. After all I was 'married" to the international socialist cause since 1957 and I was unsure about such western bourgoisie traditions, besides, Hillary has promised to abolish marriage when she comes into power. Oh, poor Laika's head was spinning. |
Red September! A Million Barking Moonbats and a Coup D'Etat!
Laika the Space Dog
Underdog and I first heard the knock at the door sometime after midnight August 3rd. After being separated from Polly Purebred, Udie was in need of some comfort and being in delicato, I called down the hall to my trustful manservant, Kommander Kenneth to answer the door.
"Laika, get down here, it's Chief Warrant Officer Smersh!" yelled a startled Ken, up the steps towards my bedroom.
"Give me a minute while I dress" I replied.
It had been a while since we had seen Smersh. Since the purge of K. he had been wandering aimlessly looking for a new bureaucratic position until Hillary took pity upon him and made him her C.W.O.
"What have you got for me Smersh?" as he handed me a large manila envelope marked TOP SECRET.
"Direct Orders from Hillary herself" was Smersh's reply. "I have no idea of its contents."
"Well, let's find out." I said as I opened the large envelope.
I nearly fainted, but as you know, Space Dogs never faint.
It read:
To: Laika and Kommander Kenneth
On September 20, 2005 Kommander Kenneth is to turn on the frequency and Laika is to activate the tinhats on all the Barking Moonbats in Lunar Orbit, signaling for them to proceed to Earth and to land in Washington D.C. on September 24th. When in Washington D.C. you will order the Moonbats to surround the White House. At 1400 hrs sharp Cindy Sheehan will lead the Moonbats in singing Kumbaya behind the South Portico distracting the Marine Guards while you lead the rest of the contingent in storming the Northern Main Entrance (Don't worry, I had a key made in 2000 while looting the china, it'll be easy) At 1430 hrs I shall stand on the South Portico balcony and declare myself President to the adoring crowds basking in my glory!
We expect little opposition since most capitalist bourgeoisie are resting on Saturday because of being overworked and overtaxed. Our spies have detected that some radical fringe group called "Protest Warrior" and their miniscule minions will be there to "protect" the White House. We will simply overwhelm them with our superior proletarian numbers.
I am counting on you two, Laika and Kenneth!
The time is now. We cannot wait for 2008!
Witness by my hand,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
August 3rd 2005
Stunned, we all stood there looking at each other for about a minute.
"Well let's not just stand here, let's get moving! We have a month's time to work with and get these logistics figured out. I'll get working on the calculated burn time for the Moonbats to pull them out of orbit, site the gimbal, correct the perigee and apogee, and get the angle of degrees for the descent upon Washington D.C. so the Moonbats won't fry on re-entry."
"Kenneth, you need to round up Hollywood, call Streisand, Sheen, Beatty, Asner, Garofalo, et al.... Order lots of Port-a-Potties, Busses, Banners. Smersh, tell Hillary we got the orders and could you notify the Cube...we'll need lots of slogans!"
"Let's go, this is a Coup D'Etat for Hillary!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
The Rosen Trial: Mission Accomplished!
Laika the Space Dog  Warren Beatty's mind control wave machine  A flying squadron comprised of Melissa Etheridge, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston infiltrates the courtroom.  | Comrades and Members of the Politburo! I am pleased to report that the Republican show trial of David Rosen over Comrade Hillary's fund-raising fraud has ended in total silence, suppression and acquittal. After Kommander Kenneth and I jammed the media outlets emitting from the future socialist state of Marxifornia we proceeded to make contact with KGB General David Kendall. Once contact was made, Kendall led us to the secret Laurel Canyon hideout of Warren Beatty (not to be confused with Comrade Betty). There, in his underground laboratory, we were able to use his highly effective mind control wave machine and got not only the judge & prosecutor to roll over and play dead, but also the entire jury. The judge and prosecutor were easy, I must say, since both are party lackeys and resistence was minimal. The jury on the other hand was quite a challenge! Six hours we struggled comrades! I cannot tell you how many cathode ray tubes were blown up in Warren's lab. At one point we used one of Cher's used crotch tongs to keep the whole thing from falling apart. At this juncture I ordered a flying squadron comprised of Melissa Etheridge, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston to infiltrate the courtroom and spike the water supply with Ecstasy and they did this with alacrity. The results were needless to say, astounding. Between the mind control waves and the pyschotropic drugs that were administered, nirvana was achieved and acquittal was declared. After rolling over and playing dead, all awoke and began to cry, with David Rosen himself leading the way. The blubberfest continued until there wasn't a dry eye left in the courtroom. At that point everybody in an act of spontaneity commenced a group hug and began singing in perfect tune "Kumbaya" and the "Internationale". This hardened battle weary Space Dog almost cried, but as you all know, Space Dogs do not cry. Comrade Her Highness Hillary I am told is very pleased. We have been under a mission communication blackout with Party Central since May 13th for fear of being detected so I have not confirmed this yet. So tell me comrades, what's the reaction from the Kremlin?
|
The "True" Story of Laika the Space Dog
Red Square
 Story by Anatoly Zak
 November 3, 1999
 Lifted in the spirit of collectivism off a bourgeois site Space.com
On November 3, 1957, the U.S.S.R. stunned the world with a space sensation -- the launch of Sputnik 2 with a live dog on-board. But many details of what happened to the mission have only recently been revealed.
The Space Age had started less than a month before, with the launch of the first Soviet satellite on October 4, 1957. Sputnik 1, a 40-pound sphere, carried a simple transmitter and was considered very heavy compared to the U.S. spacecraft under development at the time.
Enter Sputnik 2. The Soviet press boasted about the 250-pound object equipped with a cabin, providing all the necessary life support for a dog named Laika. Well, almost. The Soviets admitted soon after the launch that the spacecraft would not return, meaning that the animal was doomed from the start. Years after Sputnik 2 burned up in the atmosphere, conflicting scenarios of Laika's death were circulating in the West.
Official May Day Address '05
Laika the Space Dogon occasion of May 1st International Workers' Solidarity Day
Delivered by Laika the Space Dog, Member of Politburo, Friend of Progressive People
| Comrades! Congratulations on surviving another year in our glorious struggle for the Revolution! Today is our one and only holiday. You are all required to attend mandatory spontaneous demonstrations here in the Nova Motherland. Comrade Kennedy has assured us that all vodka rations will be quadrupled for the joyous masses at each rally. |
(For those in the Politburo, the party has secured some excellent single batch oak barrel aged bourgeoisie bourbon. Present your politburo card at any distribution point and you will be directed to the secured location).
Its a long way down
AnonymousYou must be High, and really out of this world. Â How far out are you? Â One can only admire your dogged loyality to communism that is throwing you away. Â Perhaps a statue, for you glorious service to the Motherland. Â I am sure the Central Committee would find the funds to put up a modest statue next to Lenin's. Â On the statue, perhaps these words could be added; Â here lays Laika, Spaced out Dog, Hero of the Revolution!
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Party-Approved
Red Square, 
