"His use of white space is pure genius!"




Hunter Biden's Polar Bear Standing by a White Rock in a Blizzard sells for $10 million to unknown buyer.

Serious question: just who in the Hell do they think their readers are?

™ BREAKING NEWS


Nancy Pelosi and Charles Schumer have vowed to impeach President Trump for inciting Riots™ in Cuba.

“We’ve seen, over the last 5 years, how former President Trump’s rhetoric has incited so much Hate™ in this country and around the world. He incited Riots™ in Hong Kong. He incited Riots™ in Myanmar. He incited riots™ in our own cities. He incited riots™ against the Capitol. Inciting Riots™ in Cuba is the last straw. I promise we will continue to fight to make sure that this hateful man never is allowed anywhere near the White House again.” Nancy Pelosi stated.

“This is the most egregious assault on Our Democracy™ and the sovereignty of a nation that has ever occurred in human history. Former President Trump has sown discord around the world with his anti-government rhetoric and his assaults on The Press™. This cannot be allowed to go unpunished. Cuba would be a free and prosperous country but for tyrants such as Trump. My solemn vow is that he will never be allowed to hold office again.” Chuck Schumer stated.

A show trial will commence as soon as the vaccinated COVID infected Democrats from Texas are exiled from Washington DC.

Super-model, author, and extremely clever twitter-er Chrissy Teigen has requested to be included in the next issue of Poor Me Magazine after her fall from grace recently. She has been cancelled amid allegations of Ellen DeGeneres-type behavior and stated she is "very sorry" to everyone she has hurt by getting caught.

Explosive revelations!

Cyber-bullying tweets were actually written by Trump, who hacked her twitter feed with help from Russian operatives.
And anti-vaxxers.
And Climate Change.
And racism.

Wants her corporate sponsorship deals back: "inflation has nearly doubled the cost of a Brazilian wax, just since January!"

Sick and tired of hearing "you're both pretty" when fighting with other models

John Legend is an abusive husband - he tells me the truth when I ask him if an outfit makes me look fat

She also reveals recipes from her new family cookbook "Cook With Your D**n Kids"
"You F***ing Jerk Chicken"
"Utter S**t Sandwich on Rye"
"Chicken and 'Monumental A**hole' Trumplings"

KOMRADES!!!

Please note...

The very survival of our Glorious Kollektive is at stake!!!This Kounter Revolutionary, Sara Silverman, is undermining good Parody!!

I... I... cannot... even...ARGH!

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/05/10/s ... ports-ban/

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From the New York Post (Biden accuses Facebook of ‘killing people’ amid censorship, July 16, 2021):

President Biden on Friday accused Facebook of “killing people,” just after White House press secretary Jen Psaki said the Biden administration is “in regular touch” with the platform to ensure correct “narratives” are promoted — elaborating on her Thursday admission that the White House is “flagging problematic posts” to censor.

Biden was asked about his message for platforms like Facebook as he departed the White House on Friday afternoon for a weekend trip to Camp David.

“They’re killing people. The only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated. And they’re killing people,” Biden said.

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There’s a reason why there is a separation of powers. If a party is actually causing harm to another party the recourse is the judicial system.

For the Executive branch (or the Legislative branch) to decide that a party is causing harm to another party and to act as a super-judiciary, to take it on their own to decide offense, guilt, and recourse, is to violate the Constitutional separation of powers and act unlawfully.

The entire Leftist project is by it’s nature based on this super-judicial violation of the constitutional separation of powers and has been the unspoken motus operandi that created, made and sustains the administrative state. It’s time to properly identify it and call it out. The slippery slope has taken us too far. It is taking us back to pre-constitutional times.

If the Biden administration thinks a party is causing harm to another party they have to turn to the courts of law and actual law that deals with harms. To do otherwise is to assume powers they do not have and to make of themselves the actual danger to society.

Motto: Miss Nevada? Phew.. Progress Never Stops!


Quirkie - shy teenie, a burger flipper, oppressed by a ruthless kkkapitalist (whose "goodies" are made of "universal ducks"!):

According to a "friend" who works in Big Pharma (let's call him "Tony"), cockroach blood is a key component of all the coronavirus vaccines currently on the market.



Now, you might think that "Tony" is spreading false and malicious "misinformation," but lots of today's "misinformation" turns out to be tomorrow's truth, such as the Wuhan Lab origin of the Wuhan virus, the Hunter Biden laptop story, NSA spying on U.S. citizens, etc.

No need to go on, all one has to know is that the best way to determine truth and counter "misinformation" is with robust discussion and debate, not censorship. But for those not convinced, you'll be thrilled to know that the White House has assembled "partners" to do the censorship that government cannot legally do.

SO....updated warning posters are in order:



(click for larger)

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken said on Tuesday that the U.S. "intends to issue a formal, standing invitation" to the U.N. Human Rights Council to scrutinize race relations and human rights in the United States.

To say nothing of the fact that the UNHRC is populated by some of the worst human rights violators in the world; to say nothing of the fact that the U.S. withdrew from the Council due to its unfairness and kangaroo court composition; to say nothing of the fact that the U.N.—a cesspool of political correctness, woke agendas and Marxism—views itself as the framework for the one-world government of next Tuesday...

THIS IS A TEST RUN FOR CEDING U.S. SOVEREIGNTY TO THE UNITED NATIONS.

If flagrant violation of the oath of office is cause for impeachment, and if giving a foreign government or organization the power to pass judgment on the United States is treason, it looks as if it's time to arrest and charge Blinken and anyone else associated with his "formal, standing invitation" to UNHRC before this initial attempt to dissolve our independence can go any further.

Somewhere, USA -- The killer's eyes are always on the doors and exits of the family restaurant we are sitting in. The People's Cube has obtained an exclusive interview with someone on the FBI's Most Wanted list, called John Brown for this story. The person's real name has been withheld for obvious reasons.

Mr. Brown is anxious, paranoid, and - most surprisingly - angry with the FBI for destroying what he calls the "sanctity" of the Most Wanted list.

The FBI's Most Wanted list of fugitives has represented the 10 most dangerous and wily criminals in the nation since first introduced in 1950. Former members of this notorious club include the country's most deranged and prolific killers, rapists, and robbers.

Recently, Evan Neumann of Mill Valley, CA, was added to the list for his behavior at the US Capital on Jan. 6, 2021. The numerous and serious charges include assaulting, resisting or impeding officers, obstructing law enforcement during civil disorder, and violent entry and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds. He is a noted serial trespasser, having been convicted of the same crime in 2018. An elderly former neighbor reports multiple trespasses on his lawn when Mr. Neumann was just a youth, showing a disturbing pattern of lawlessness that started early.

According to Mr. Brown, "Adding this guy to our list just rankles, you know? You have to commit multiple heinous crimes to make this exclusive list and get the whole country looking for you - I think there are only like a couple hundred of us total. This guy shakes a fence in DC and makes mean faces at a cop. They add HIM to list? Really? If I find him first, I'm gonna kill him."

San Francisco, CA -- As a few, probably deep faked videos surface of people brazenly walking into stores and running out without paying for the items in their hands, California authorities are responding with impressive statistics.

A California law decriminalizing some victimless offenses - like theft - went into effect in 2014 and was reportedly inspired by the "impressive work being done at the Federal Level" to decrease crime at the United State's southern border with Mexico.

Bill Williamson, a congressional staffer in California, noted "We made property crimes less than $1,000 not a crime anymore. Guess what happened? Crime went down! That's right - the statistics clearly show a decrease in property crimes. Amazing, right? We've also found a marked decrease in incarcerations since the law came into effect - an added benefit we did not see coming."

He speculated that decriminalizing other things - like property damage, fraud, possibly murder - could decrease crime statistics even further. "Think of the savings to the court systems, police departments, prisons, the parole system - I could go on and on. I think this is a real game changer in law enforcement."

He continued to talk about the possible changes in the future but added hastily, "Don't worry, though - we will never decriminalize gun control infractions."

Havana, Cuba -- July 11, 2021 thousands of pro-Trump white supremacists once again stormed the capital while carrying U.S. flags and similar symbols of hate.

Shortly after 1 p.m. ET Sunday hundreds of insurrectionists pushed through barriers in the People's Capitol of Havana, where they tussled with the police, calling the officers "traitors." The thugs waved around racist American flags while violently taking selfies and demanding the restoration of their white their privileges, such as, free-market economic opportunities, equal justice under the law, political freedom, and other hallmarks of systematic racism from which Cubans have long been protected by their caring socialist government.

The American Response

A brief statement from El Presidente Biden said the attack was "An unprecedented assault on socialism, an assault literally on the Cuban regime. An assault on the most sacred of Cuban undertakings: ratifying the will of the government to choose the leadership of their government."

In response to the violent uprising, United States Vicepresidenta, Kamala Harris, said "It was the same thing that went through my mind when I saw January 6. Sadly, it is not the first time I have seen a demonstration like what you are describing in the history of a country... And and it is — it is a reminder that we still have a lot of work to do."

Harris continued... "I think that Cuba cannot yield to those who would try and make the socialist regime afraid of who they are. Cuba, for all of its faults and imperfections, is a nation that was founded on very important principles and guided by extremely important ideals. And they cannot abandon that. Cuba is a work in progress, the United States cannot abandon the appreciation that we should all have for the traditions that are symbolic of their commitment to socialism."

Squad leader Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has yet to give a statement about the attack. Her House of Representatives office was asked for a comment but informed the media that Representative Ocasio-Cortez was seeking therapy due to the trauma inflicted upon her as she watched the Cuban insurrection from her office over 1,100 miles away.

Further updates soon to come as more information is approved by state-run media.

Slavery is as old as mankind and it still thrives mainly in Africa and Asia. If you're alive today, there's a high likelihood that you have slaves in your ancestry. Should you get back pay for your ancestors' labor? Toiling in the fields? or building pyramids? or castles? or aqueducts?

No, because slavery was a solid norm until the Age of Enlightenment. If we accept the current notion of reparations, we're forced to view the past through the lens of the present's frantic and constantly mutable leftist outrage du jour. And where do we begin looking for victims? 3,000 years ago? 1,000 years ago?

No, we start with the year 1619 in only one British colony in America because—despite millennia of worldwide slavery—the radical left wants to condemn only America for slavery even though America was not an independent nation until 1776.

Now the Uninvited Notions United Nations wants to extend the blame to all formerly colonizing (White) nations, narrow the victims of slavery to only people of African descent (archeological evidence suggests humanity originated in Africa and—if true—everyone in the world is of "African descent"), and fund Marxist BLM and similar groups to ensure that those who never owned slaves pay those who were never enslaved in order to bring about justice or something.

But note that it isn't a justice for all because there was a fuck-ton of slavery going on long before 1619 and it's still happening. Why not go all the way back to ancient Persia and China? To Rome and Carthage and Egypt and Arabia? To the South American slave trade? Why not condemn aboriginal Americans for their untold centuries of practicing slavery? And why not concentrate on current slavery?

This isn't really about slavery, it's about Marxism disguised as Black liberation and it's about redistribution of wealth from Whites to Blacks in order to bring about equity (equality of outcome). It would also bring about the end of Western civilization, which fits well with the U.N.'s Agenda 2030.

One Black billionaire's call for a 14 trillion dollar reparation plan breaks down to about $500,000 per black American, and it doesn't matter whether they're descended from slaves if one accepts the absurd pretense that all Blacks today are suffering from the effects of past transgressions by Whites. It also doesn't matter that most non-BIPOC (white) people aren't privileged enough to possess even a fraction of $500,000, so forget about any true "equity" in this plan.

It looks as if U.N. Human Rights Council Chief Michelle Bachelet got Blacked by the Marxist BLM lies, but there's a bright side: the U.N. is one of the most useless and powerless organizations in the history of the world.

http://www.breitbart.com/politics/2021/07/12/u-n-rights-chief-demands-reparations-for-slavery-colonial-rule-and-racism/

Letter to the editor in the WSJ in reply to their article 100 Years of Chinese Communism:

The Chi­nese Com­mu­nist Party sees the world as the Wild West, and its long-term sur­vival de­pends on its abil­ity to ob­tain a mo­nopoly on power. De­spite its rhetoric, the Party pledges no al­le­giance to any par­tic­u­lar ide­ol­ogy, be it com­mu­nism, so­cial­ism or even the fer­vent na­tion­al­ism that your ed­i­to­r­ial stresses. The Party will pro­fess what­ever ide­ol­ogy jus­ti­fies its power grab and helps se­cure its power at the mo­ment. But make no mis­take, power is the Par­ty’s only be­lief.

The Party fol­lows no rules. Since its found­ing, it has not hes­i­tated to do what­ever it deems nec­es­sary to ob­tain and stay in power. We of­ten em­pha­size its re­liance on vi­o­lence, ter­ror and fear, but the Party is also a mas­ter of us­ing de­ceit and temp­ta­tion to ad­vance its cause. Which ap­proach it takes at the mo­ment de­pends on whether the bal­ance of power shifts in its fa­vor or not.

The Chi­nese Com­mu­nist Party has em­braced lim­ited eco­nomic re­forms only be­cause it rec­og­nized that eco­nomic growth was nec­es­sary to main­tain its po­lit­i­cal power. But the Party re­mains deeply hos­tile to lib­eral-de­mo­c­ra­tic val­ues. It sees every­thing that democ­racy stands for, such as free and open elec­tions, as threats to its mo­nopoly on power. Un­der no cir­cum­stance will the Party tol­er­ate any real or even imag­i­nary threat to its power. That’s why the Party is a dan­ger to the Chi­nese peo­ple, global free­dom and democ­racy.

The age of the human is over. Now comes the age of the goo!



LANGLEY, VA - In a bid to better multi-ethnicize and multi-culturalize the intelligence community, the CIA has come up with a new plan that will allow the agency to meet its diversity quotas to the smallest percentage point and remain flexible in the face of any future adjustments. According to the new plan, the CIA offices will now be staffed by vats of multi-cultural goo instead of agents, while the actual work will be done by artificial intelligence (AI) and Chinese back-office staffers.

The advantages are self-evident. First of all, some teams are just too small to fully accommodate their diversity quota. Thus, a team monitoring Chinese takeover of American universities may consist of four persons: two blind men, one deaf woman, and a liaision officer kindly provided by the CCP. With just four operatives it is impossible to get to the mandated 13.7% handicapped female, 58.2% muslim, 96.5% POC, 83.7% transsexual, 0.6% Zulu, 5.9% Pacific-Islander, and so on.

By using vats of human goo, the diversity of even the smallest team can be adjusted to the quota of the day. If the government, peace be upon it, decides that an intelligence team needs to consist of 29% half-wits or 65% morbidly obese, it can just fill up their vats with "half-wits" or "obese" goo until the right concentration is reached. Once the agency finds a way to de-contiminate the vats from all traces of "white" goo (yuck), this new system will get a green light to be implemented in all other government agencies.

___________
Comrade Minitrue (Preferred pronouns: his Celestial Majesty, his Celestial Majesty's)
(0.0001% Cherookee Indian, 0.6% banana)

Washington, DC -- As news that one of the dangerous January 6 insurrectionists had a Lego Capitol taken from his home as evidence, further news has leaked that the FBI will likely charge many of his Lego mini-figures with weapons and conspiracy charges.

An unknown number of mini-figures was taken into custody. At least four were reportedly cooperating with law enforcement and may have been long-time FBI informants.

Neighbors report a small firefight had erupted from the basement of the house when officers tried to exercise a search warrant. Fred Fredrickson lives behind the house and claims to have witnessed the entire operation.

"I heard a knocking on his door at about 2 am, but they had the bust down the door because he wasn't home, y'know? Then I clearly heard them from the basement sayin’ 'I see you hiding in that fully constructed Roman Coliseum - come out with your little plastic gripper-things up!' Then I hear 'em going 'pew pew pew' and making shooting sounds with his mouth," he said.

Mr. Frederickson continued, "Then I seen some of them loaded into a Lego City Prisoner Transporter and noticed about half were wearing little red ball caps. You could just make out MAGA on them lil' hats. I was terrified - they've been living next to me for five years!"

Las Vegas, NV -- Viewers tuning in to the 2021 Ms Nevada beauty pageant last week were accidentally shown Madame OooLaLa's Drag Queen Review. The oversight wasn't noticed until days later.

KLAS-TV Program Director Bill Williamson apologized for the mix-up saying "I should have realized something wasn't right when none of them young ladies had pink hair or piercings. Oh no - am I allowed to call them young ladies anymore? I can't keep up, the accepted names is changing so quickly. Maybe I'd better just stop talking and have our PR folks issue the apology instead."

He later issued an apology for his apology but was fired anyway.