Pinkie! Don't tell me that you suffer from Tired Shovel. Shovel Droop? Say it ain't so! Then you need Lenitra(tm), which is guaranteed to have your shovel perky for up to 36 hours.

Report to your doctor, or Jiffi-Lobo if you have a shovel that won't go down for more than four hours.

I took comrade Jirr's emair to UK Ministry of Mentar Hygiene Porice and copy/pasted/edited it.

Dear Comrade Minister: prease ban me from UK. Put my name on traver ban rist.

Here are a rist of sins I committed that have made me earn a prace on your rist.
-I have not ensraved and/or murdered showed enrightenment to enough of my country's citizens.
-I have not expanded the number of Peopre's Reeducation Resort Kamps fast enough to meet the Growing Need(tm)
-unrike comrade Jirr, I have not read copy of my country's Constitution simpry because Demokratik Peopre's Repubrik of Korea have no Constitution. I'm it! AHA-AHAHAHA!! My daddy Kim Ir Sung knew I a fuckwit so he gotta hook me up with a Gummint Job(tm) to prevent me from standing in rine for maggot-infested gruel Peopre's Rest & Reraxation Cafeteria Centres.
-I have secretry rusted after hottie's rike Hirrarry Crinton, Micherre Obama, Nancy Perosi (just stick it in any old wrinkle), Orca Winfrey (the brack whare - I rove big butts with stretch marks) and Jeanane Garafaro (I rike her crow's feet. Very sexiful)
-I have been so busy buying Ciaris(tm) and Lenitra(tm) for my aging ji-ji that I have had to reduce funding for my Peopre's Warm & Fuzzy Big Frash(tm) programme.
-After rast year's stroke that reft me a drooring idiot and my right side pararyzed, I have been negrecting affairs of State in favor of rearning how to jerk off reft-handed. But I better now. Now I can beat my ji-ji rike it owe me money.

For these and other Thought Crimes(tm), prease ban me before I do something rearry bad rike jerkoff to pictures of Erizabeth Hurrey Queen Erizabeth.

Yours In Brotherry Soridarity,

Kim Jong Irrin'

Dear Leader, er, Reader. Why do you not come to Texas? You can jerk your <i>ji-ji</i> to our ex-governor Ann Richards and to Molly Ivins too. Both of them happen to be dead but that just cuts down on the noise level.

Ooh! Tarking about Texas Sociarists, what about that many-wrinkled Euro-Trash srut Marianne Huffington? Maybe I get to meet her at HuffPo Worrd Garactic Headquarters? She have so many facerifts that I bet I courd bounce a quarter off her forehead and get back two dimes and a nickre! She turn me on so much my manry ji-ji wirr give her a Pearr Neckrace(tm). She very sexifur.

Ah, yes. Dear Mrs. Stassinopolis. "The face that lunched a thousand shits."

Her Oxbridge education was, in the words of a Cantabridgian, designed for her to argue, not solve problems. Just think if her ex-husband, Mr. Huffington, had not turned out to like boys, she might never have seen the light and become the Grand Dame of socialism.

Is this person a contradiction in terms or merely a 'Progressive Misanthrope"?
The Enquirer wants to know, ah that's inquiring minds want to know. Actually I don't ....want to inquire.............or know............... I don't know why I inquired.
Probably have salad on my mind.

Pravda, your speech patterns are like those of someone who went to Jiffi-Lobo on a Monday. Don't do that. Many of our highly trained People's Surgeons are alkies and have the shakes, bad, on Monday morning.

Now you tell me.

Of course, I could have told you that too Comrade Guardian. After all, who do you think stops to redistribute some vodka from the shipments to the good doctors? It ain't Pupovich.

Gone to the dogs has he.
Smirnoff of course?
Wodka is a wonderful drunk errr drink.

Pravda, you're coming along just fine. And don't feel alone. I go to Jiffi-Lobo regularly for a tune-up. Whenever I start thinking seditious thoughts, like competence, and the right to property and honesty--I can say that now because I have just been to Jiffi-Lobo and this is just a slight shake-out.

The most important thing is that you never lose sight of socialist faith. The most important thing about faith is that it is immune from reason--that's why it's faith.

Which may explain 'the One' he has faith but not reason.
I wonder if the Savage has faith.

Arthur C. Clark said that any sufficiently advanced civilization will seem like magic--this is because of a lack of the analytical tools to explain the world. I am largely ignorant of the history of science but I have noticed that people have throughout the ages attributed inexplicable events to supernatural causes--it seems to be fairly recent, excepting some of the Greeks, and it's always an uphill battle.

I knew that global warming was a religion from the start because it was being sold like one. But unlike some religious with good benefits, and which cannot be proven to be false, this one is tyrannical and is the <i>only religion that you can disprove</i>. And it is just another power grab.

His O'liness may or may not believe in global warming but it is the perfect tool for getting control of industry, which is of course one of the prongs of fascism.

Arthur C. Clark was a thought criminal of the highest order. But more entertaining at times than the thuoght criminal Heinlein. Some of Heinlein's books (The Mark of the Beast comes to mind) read like a rabbit on acid moving through a forest of magic mushrooms.

I've been rereading some of them--some are truly excellent; some require patience. His juvenilia are some of the best.

Have you read the short story The Green Green Hills of Earth? Most equal.

Also I greatly enjoyed The Cat Who Walked Through Walls. Less trippy than Mark of The Beast.

Yes, and just read the Cat. The long story about Maureen Johnson's growing up I stopped rereading in the middle. But do try Tunnel in the Sky, Podkayne of Mars, Citizen of the Galaxy (lots of fun), The Rolling Stones, and Farmer in the Sky.

But for my money the best science-fiction novel ever is the Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

Heinlein, Clark Asimov. The best. I also very much liked and still do Keith Laumer. The Retief Series was Politics from front to back and can be applied to the here and now.
Bolo is the top of the AI series as far as I am concerned. The Dinochrome Brigade lives on in David Drake and many others.
I Robot.
All thought criminals of the Highest order of course. (Standard Party Disclaimer™ 106)

Read The Hostby the Stephenie (sic) Meyer. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Now I know why she's a bestselling author.

I won't spoil it if I say that it's a sci-fi saga in which only the most paranoid people on earth remained human, after a silent invasion of very progressive and altruistic creatures from another planet who used human bodies as hosts to create a perfect peaceful society on Earth. They started by inserting one of them into a university professor (who else?) and from there began their expansion through the academia to the rest of the society.

They called themselves "souls" and didn't think of themselves as malicious and always thought in terms of love and the greater good. But one of them was inserted in a mind of a young woman who was a rugged individualist and refused to cooperate with her takeover (the type seen at the anti-Obama tea parties). As a result, there came to be two conflicting minds in one body - one human and one alien.

This is also the first sci-fi book I've read where the story unfolds as seen through the eyes of an alien, who is also a female. I also found it funny that her previous lifetime this "soul" spent inhabiting the body of a singing moonbat on the planet of singing moonbats.

I would've never started reading it but my daughter got me interested by describing it as an invasion of communists from the outer space. She said I would love it and she was right, I couldn't put it down. (This may be a state secret, but SMO loved it too).

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, and just read the Cat. The long story about Maureen Johnson's growing up I stopped rereading in the middle. But do try Tunnel in the Sky, Podkayne of Mars, Citizen of the Galaxy (lots of fun), The Rolling Stones, and Farmer in the Sky.

But for my money the best science-fiction novel ever is the Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

Lesse I did manage to get through Maureen Johnson's life story. Can't say I've read anything on your list, save of course the brilliant Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Excellent read.

Comrade Red Square, I'm going to order a copy of The Host. It looks most interesting.

The juvenile novels are quick reads. <i>Citizen of the Galaxy</i> is one of my favorites. A cripple beggar on Jubalpore buys for a lark a boy at a slave auction and takes him home and raises him. Teaches him to be a beggar. But Baslim the cripple was a sort of Special Ops fellow who was tracking slaver ships. He's killed, the beggar boy, Thorby, has been raised to learn and think by Baslim. He is smuggled off-planet by a free trader ship, and the Free Traders owe Baslim a huge debt because he saved one of their ships from slavers.

Baslim laid an injunction on the Free Traders to find Thorby's parents. They get him to the Hegemonic Guard, where he enlists. They find that Thorby was Thor Rudbeck, Rudbeck at Rudbeck, who is the heir to a tremendous fortune, and his parents were killed and he sold into slavery by their "friend" and Thorby takes control of the corporation, and with the understanding of a boy who was a slave, starts trying to destroy slavery.

Sounds a bit corny but it's tremendous fun and you want to cheer. A great vacation book.

All of his young books are like that--young man, usually, or sometimes girl, as in Podkayne--starts with nothing but wins by work and ethics. Wonderful stories.

Red Square wrote:Read The Hostby the Stephenie (sic) Meyer. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Now I know why she's a bestselling author.

I won't spoil it if I say that it's a sci-fi saga in which only the most paranoid people on earth remained human, after a silent invasion of very progressive and altruistic creatures from another planet who used human bodies as hosts to create a perfect peaceful society on Earth. They started by inserting one of them into a university professor (who else?) and from there began their expansion through the academia to the rest of the society.

They called themselves "souls" and didn't think of themselves as malicious and always thought in terms of love and the greater good. But one of them was inserted in a mind of a young woman who was a rugged individualist and refused to cooperate with her takeover (the type seen at the anti-Obama tea parties). As a result, there came to be two conflicting minds in one body - one human and one alien.

This is also the first sci-fi book I've read where the story unfolds as seen through the eyes of an alien, who is also a female. I also found it funny that her previous lifetime this "soul" spent inhabiting the body of a singing moonbat on the planet of singing moonbats.

I would've never started reading it but my daughter got me interested by describing it as an invasion of communists from the outer space. She said I would love it and she was right, I couldn't put it down. (This may be a state secret, but SMO loved it too).

Dammit Red...I vowed not to read any of her books(they were too hyped for my taste) but this seems like something i would find interesting. Now I will humble myself and purchase a stephanie meyer tome......yikes!

Thanks for that; I just bought it and it's being streamed to the Kindle--dreadful pretentious name. But addictive.

A. E. van Vogtand the Weapons Shops of Isher. Thought to be the influence for StarTrek and Gene Roddenberry with his Voyages of the Space Ship Beagle.
HisWeapons Shops were very much ahead of their time and carefully craftspolitics with possible reality. Philip K Dick wrote in a similar veinand their both famous for the shifts in reality that occur usuallyvery suddenly.
Unfortunately he has passed but the books live forever. A truly free world where all men are armed and the Goverment hates it. The right to buy arms keeps you free.

Comrade Guardian, you may also like Freehold by Michael Z. Williamson, it is a very good book.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Guardian, you may also like Freehold by Michael Z. Williamson, it is a very good book.

It was I already read it. I also read Weapon. If you go to Bain you can download it it's free.

I've just had surgery on my left ulnar nerve, so I'm typing one-handed tonight. I'll have to keep this brief. Of late, I've developed a taste for John Ringo's Posleen invasion series, but only the ones he authored solo; the co-authored books are very hit-and-miss. If you want to see the evolution of an author, check out his "March" series, begining with "March Upcountry." Also of interest is David Weber's "In Death Ground" and "The Shiva Option" for another jaunt into military sci fi.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Guardian, you may also like Freehold by Michael Z. Williamson, it is a very good book.

It was I already read it. I also read Weapon. If you go to Bain you can download it it's free.

I've also read Weapon. It's good but darker, much darker.

Ivan Betinov wrote:I've just had surgery on my left ulnar nerve, so I'm typing one-handed tonight. I'll have to keep this brief. Of late, I've developed a taste for John Ringo's Posleen invasion series, but only the ones he authored solo; the co-authored books are very hit-and-miss. If you want to see the evolution of an author, check out his "March" series, begining with "March Upcountry." Also of interest is David Weber's "In Death Ground" and "The Shiva Option" for another jaunt into military sci fi.

You know where the Shiva Option came from right? I am the Dead Night Tiger made whole.
I agree the early versions were good I think anytime he collaborates it get's diluted.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah, yes. Dear Mrs. Stassinopolis. "The face that lunched a thousand shits."

Her Oxbridge education was, in the words of a Cantabridgian, designed for her to argue, not solve problems. Just think if her ex-husband, Mr. Huffington, had not turned out to like boys, she might never have seen the light and become the Grand Dame of socialism.

yeah but he married her cuz he thought since she a greek broad, she rike it in the butt. He figure after going uptown, they do it in the brown. Aha-ahahaha! Oh, I so funny I kirr myserf.
--------------------------
Hey! You guys see in the news today my arries in Iran raunch a rong-range ground-to-ground missire? That was me! They invite me to raunch so I frew in on my Iryushin IR-76 and I push the firing button. Onry probrem is arr the women go warking around in burkhas. What up with that? Not sexiful. Here I thought I was gonna get to hook up with some strange and dammit arr I get is a good rook at bedsheets! Those wogs better treat me better next time or I send them a Big Frash(tm) too!

Ivan Betinov wrote:I've just had surgery on my left ulnar nerve, so I'm typing one-handed tonight. I'll have to keep this brief. Of late, I've developed a taste for John Ringo's Posleen invasion series, but only the ones he authored solo; the co-authored books are very hit-and-miss. If you want to see the evolution of an author, check out his "March" series, begining with "March Upcountry." Also of interest is David Weber's "In Death Ground" and "The Shiva Option" for another jaunt into military sci fi.

When I typing one-handed it cuz I beating my ji-ji rike it a rented mule. But I hope you feering better now comrade.

Meanwhire, great Starin's ghost, since when this prace become a debating society at ribrary? Oh werr, if you can't beat 'em , join 'em. (hey wait a minute! I can beat them. Kirr them too if they get uppity!) I rike David Weber's books - anything in Honor Harrington series - got 'em arr, got arr four Prince Roger series books (he a revanchist imperiarist pig). Arso got John Ringo's entire Posreen series. David Frint's entire 1632 series (he need to kirr off that Cardinar Richerieu, another imperiarist pig). Stephen Coont's Saucer series remind me of earry Heinrein stuff; I rike it very much. Yes-yes! Some of Terry Pratchett's stuff okay but he too frivorous for my taste. Me rike miritary science fiction. Why no one write arternate science fiction history where Peopre's Demokratik Repubrik of Korea wind up dominating the worrd with my Big Frash(tm) and I am the much-roved Benevorent Reader? Some Reftist hack writer revered & werr-known author better start writing this chop-chop! Then Orca Winfrey the brack whare can give it much good press in her Orca's Book Crub.

Comrade Illin' you will find the reactionary works of the thought criminal Michael Z. Williamson interesting I think.

Wow! And Orwell never met the Taliban! Although for sure, they would never eliminate the orgasm for men.

In Socialist Solidarity!

Laika the Space Dog wrote:"We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy. There will be no art, no literature, no science. When we are omnipotent there will be no need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always—do not forget this Winston—always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever."

It's off to Room 101 in the Ministry of Love for this savage Savage!

Dear Reader,

Would you be good enough to lend me a Big Frash? There are some neighbors who do not recognize how equal I am. I mean, they don't bow and scrape like they should, and so they ought to have the Big Frash.

And once I've gotten their attention, there are other people who ought to have the Big Frash.

For example, Texas has decided to take some of the stimurus money. I think that the People's Republic of Austin needs the Big Frash.

You don't mean Rick Perry did the 'Read my Lips' thing?

As I recall Governor Hair Gel said that he would not accept some of the money with the strings attached. The legislature said they wanted it. Mike Conaway had a radio press conference in which people called in and yelled at him. One woman said, "You talk like a Republican when you're out of power and when you get in office you act like a DAMNED DEMOCRAT!"

Conaway was shaking as it wore on.

My personal desire is for a necktie party for a few legislators when they come back to their districts. <i>Pour encourager les autres</i>.

Oh. Just kidding. Really. I didn't mean that last sentence.

Out of Karackter.
It's the one of the biggest reasons I find the Democrat party totally disgusting and the GOP so untrustworthy. The supposed leaders in the GOP have no Conservative Principles and no gonads to uphold them. The GOP does not listen to it's base nor does it even acknowledge it exist.

Pravda, the point of being elected is going to the really good parties, and having all the lobbyists hang on your every word. Why care about your constituents more than you have to to get reelected? That's foolish.

Bring home the pork, tell a few lies, kiss babies, press the flesh, and make sure you network <i>really</i> well. Those contacts will do you well.

Notice however once in a while a politician will get an attack of honesty. Zell Miller comes to mind.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pravda, the point of being elected is going to the really good parties, and having all the lobbyists hang on your every word. Why care about your constituents more than you have to to get reelected? That's foolish.

Bring home the pork, tell a few lies, kiss babies, press the flesh, and make sure you network <i>really</i> well. Those contacts will do you well.

Notice however once in a while a politician will get an attack of honesty. Zell Miller comes to mind.

Ah Know he represented mah paht of Ga.
Good Man.
Jeff Sessions could be with a little more attention to the Base.

Kyl of Arizona is not as awful as some; Cornyn in Texas the same.

But here in the county where the Rancho is located, we are all Democrats. I am a registered Democrat because all local decisions are made in the primaries.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Kyl of Arizona is not as awful as some; Cornyn in Texas the same.

But here in the county where the Rancho is located, we are all Democrats. I am a registered Democrat because all local decisions are made in the primaries.

That's done here in my County a lot. State is basically Republican and Conservative but Dem's are the Power here. Every Sheriff going back a hundred years has been Dem.