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Old Soviet jokes become the new American reality

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I just came across this one on a Russian-language site about elephants:

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

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Guardian of Pravda wrote:
Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote: Three zeks in the Gulag were discussing the circumstances that brought them there. The first said, "I was late for work, and they arrested me for being a parasite." The second said, "Well. I came to work early, and they arrested me for being a sabateur." The third said. "I came to work on time and I was arrested for being a Swiss spy."
Is begging the question, can anyone be sabateur. or is special training needed?
I have been a saboteur for a while I have saboteured a marriage and one or two jobs. Will this experience count? Does sabateur. pay better? oops forgot, no pay in progressive just benefits.
This particular joke (spelling correction joke aside), and a lot of the others in this thread, are collected in "Hammer and Tickle"by british journalist Ben Lewis. He it's not just a collection of jokes, the book gives the history of humor in the Soviet Union and how it kept the populace from total despair. The jokes started right away in the early '20s when most people were still willing to give the system a chance. It got very risky under Stalin when people really would be arrested and sent to a gulag for telling a political joke. One of my favorites from the Great Depression era:"What's the difference between Roosevelt and Stalin? Roosevelt collects the jokes that people tell about him while Stalin collects the people that tell jokes about him."- SPK

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Chief Designer wrote:
Guardian of Pravda wrote:
Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote: Three zeks in the Gulag were discussing the circumstances that brought them there. The first said, "I was late for work, and they arrested me for being a parasite." The second said, "Well. I came to work early, and they arrested me for being a sabateur." The third said. "I came to work on time and I was arrested for being a Swiss spy."
Is begging the question, can anyone be sabateur. or is special training needed?
I have been a saboteur for a while I have saboteured a marriage and one or two jobs. Will this experience count? Does sabateur. pay better? oops forgot, no pay in progressive just benefits.
This particular joke (spelling correction joke aside), and a lot of the others in this thread, are collected in "Hammer and Tickle"by british journalist Ben Lewis. He it's not just a collection of jokes, the book gives the history of humor in the Soviet Union and how it kept the populace from total despair. The jokes started right away in the early '20s when most people were still willing to give the system a chance. It got very risky under Stalin when people really would be arrested and sent to a gulag for telling a political joke. One of my favorites from the Great Depression era:"What's the difference between Roosevelt and Stalin? Roosevelt collects the jokes that people tell about him while Stalin collects the people that tell jokes about him."- SPK
Read it.

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Q: What is black and knocking at your door comrade?

A: Your FUTURE!

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Q: What to do in case of impending nuclear attack by imperialist dog Americanskaya?
A: Put on your burial shroud and walk slowly to the cemetary.
Q: Why slowly?
A: So as not to cause a panic!

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Kommissar arrives to speak to peoples of small collective farm community one day.
He makes big speech. Glorious revolution proceeds apace, Kosmonauts have extended stay in earth orbit for over a year, warehouses are full of grain, 5 year quotas are being met for food, grain, and more vodka to come to market soon. Any questions?

One hand raises at back of crowd. Da, tvarische Kommissar, komrade Kaminskaya here. I have two questions: why no shoes for children in stores and why no tires for tractors?

Kommissar frowns and replies: Good questions Komrade Kaminskaya, will bring questions to politburo chiefs and find answers, good day people and long live the glorious people's revolution.

Another year goes by. Winter turns to not quite winter to kind of summer to almost winter and Commissar returns with usual speech. Kosmonauts, beating capitalist pig Americans at world soccer, so much food in warehouses, sorry about the vodka but it was recalled, any questions?

Hand goes up - much much farther back in crowd than previous year. Three questions: why no shoes for children in stores, no tires for tractors, and Komrade Kommissar, whatever happened to Kaminskaya?

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John Frum wrote:I noticed now. There is ALLAH in T-ALLAH-ASS-EE. This is proof that Muslims discovered America and Indians were already Muslims because the glory of Allah had shined upon them. Also California means Horny Calif. The flag of South Carolina has the crescent in it. Evidence piles up.
As an Indian I can only say,Ugh!

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It keeps apace. The New Secretary of the Army will be Gay. Isn't that wonderful, I'm not sure why but there seems to be a need to splash sexual orientation all over the Media. Unless you're straight. Then no one wants to hear it. Being Progressive is easy. I would suggest that Squids be given status in some branch of what used to be our Armed Forces. They are known to be Bi Sexual and could possibly satisfy all (pun intended)


 
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