[floatleft-nb]I have been selflessly orbiting Earth
since 1957, breaking space endurance
records, proving Soviet Space Program
is more advanced than Amerikanski
Program. Man on the moon, ptooey!
Amerikanski not returned to moon
since 1972, and I am still up here!

But I would like to come back to Earth
and help Amerikanski workers and
farmers defeat capitalist oppressors
and live happily like Soviet workers
and farmers. They could use help
from Hero Dog of Soviet Union,
Friend of People, no?

Laika (Controlling your tinfoil hats
since 1957)

Its a long way down

Ground Control
To Comrade Space Cadet Laika,
You must be High, and really out of this world. How far out are you? One can only admire your dogged loyality to communism that is throwing you away. Perhaps a statue, for you glorious service to the Motherland. I am sure the Central Committee would find the funds to put up a modest statue next to Lenin's. On the statue, perhaps these words could be added; here lays Laika, Spaced out Dog, Hero of the Revolution!

User avatar
Laika must have been on a lot of drugs to get that high

Ms. Dog, how do you cope with the lack of smells in the vacuum of space?
Answer: Every Space Dog loves to smell and lick oneself because we can.

Do you receive “smells in a tube” via the Cosmos re-supply crafts - like your human comrades received “vodka in a tube”?
Answer: Yes, and thank God the Amerikanski Shuttle is working again!

How much of the Heavens have you “marked” as territory in the name of the great soviet onion - now Russia?
Answer: Everything in orbit, especially Barking Moonbats!

Are you required to bag your waste or is allowed to free-float to the ends of the universe?
Answer: We (by we, I mean Soviets) were the first to space recycle fecal waste. I load the doggie pooh into the cycletron where the carbon atoms are seperated. These carbon atoms are then removed and placed into a condenser where they are turned into dilithium crystals which are placed in the warp generator for an unlimited fuel supply. Who said you can't make diamonds out of dogsh*t?

Thank you Ms. Dog for your heroic efforts.

You're more than welcome! Come back and visit often!


Moonbat man
Laika Space Dog, are you the cousin of the famous General Warf, who is currently security officer on the starship Prolotariate? If so I am interested in an internship as an officer on training paper, please contact me only telepathicly, or send a package in care of Moonbat man and wonder dog, good luck Laika.

Dear Laika,
You're my favorite at this website. With your looks and my brains we could rule the world!

Your lord and master,