Are your kids, or shall we say, age-challenged individuals having a hard time going to sleep? I have written a small bedtime story which has only been tested on the dead rats outside of Tractor Shed 4, but it seemed to put them to sleep okay.

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[img]/images/Red_Riding_Hood_Capitalist.jpg[/img]

There once was an age-challenged female. She was offended at anybody who called her "She" and "Her", so we will switch to her preferred "Xhe" and "Xir".

So, Xhe was walking down the road to school with a small, or space-deficient, pouch with a lovely strap attached to it, so that Xhe could put it around Xir shoulder and neck for easy carrying. Xhe walked and walked and walked for many many kilometers.

She was so tired, but then she came to a thoughtcriminal. How did this thoughtcriminal look? He had a Republican sign, specifically a Mike Huckabee sign in his yard, an AmeriKKKan flag on a very tall pole. He had a 3-piece suit, a top hat, a pipe, and he looked frightfully nice. He treated everyone around him with deceptive kindness, as if to convert them to the ways of KKKapitalism.

This small child was shocked. Xhe didn't know what to do, but Xhe had remembered Xir lessons in school. Xhe remembered what Xir teacher told her, that if Xhe saw any KKKapitalists, especially Free-Market KKKapitalists or Libertarians, to immediately run to the Party Bureau and tell them what Xhe saw. Xhe also was told to report them to [email protected]. So, like any good age-challenged Komrade, Xhe did these things, and then went to school.

But, as soon as Xhe got into her Sexual Education class, Xhe was alerted by the principal and told to come to his desk. There, she saw the same people that Xhe saw at the Party Bureau. They said that they caught the KKKapitalist exploiter and that Xhe didn't have to worry anymore about him. They also told Xir that Xhe got a medal for bravery and Valor, but due to the sharp needle, it was waiting for Xer at home. The principal was so impressed that Xhe even got to go back home early from school!

Xhe ran home as fast as Xhe could, Xhe was so excited! When Xhe walked in, Xir parents were so proud of Xir and pinned the medal on Xir coat. Xhe even was in the headlines of the local newspaper, and Xhe even got a column in Pravda! But, like a good age-challenged individual, Xhe always worked hard at school and always was committed to the State and to the party. Xhe is very happy now, and is living in Moscow with Xir family unit.

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Thank you for reading. I hope that this will help any age-challenged individuals you may have go to sleep.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Are your kids, or shall we say, age-challenged individuals having a hard time going to sleep? I have written a small bedtime story which has only been tested on the dead rats outside of Tractor Shed 4, but it seemed to put them to sleep okay...

I hope that this will help any age-challenged individuals you may have go to sleep.

Ahh Stierlitz, how quickly we forget. It was only a few weeks back that the bedtime story was abolished for giving unequal privilege to some, while disadvantaging others:

Comrades! DENOUNCE the Bedtime Story!

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Are your kids, or shall we say, age-challenged individuals having a hard time going to sleep? I have written a small bedtime story which has only been tested on the dead rats outside of Tractor Shed 4, but it seemed to put them to sleep okay...

I hope that this will help any age-challenged individuals you may have go to sleep.

Ahh Stierlitz, how quickly we forget. It was only a few weeks back that the bedtime story was abolished for giving unequal privilege to some, while disadvantaging others:

Comrades! DENOUNCE the Bedtime Story!

But Komrade Punk, I was under the impression that we were supposed to forget things as part of the revolution! For example, her Holiness Hillary has forgotten where she put her e-mails, and the Pentagon has forgotten where they put 2.3 trillion dollars.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Are your kids, or shall we say, age-challenged individuals having a hard time going to sleep? I have written a small bedtime story which has only been tested on the dead rats outside of Tractor Shed 4, but it seemed to put them to sleep okay...

I hope that this will help any age-challenged individuals you may have go to sleep.

Ahh Stierlitz, how quickly we forget. It was only a few weeks back that the bedtime story was abolished for giving unequal privilege to some, while disadvantaging others:

Comrades! DENOUNCE the Bedtime Story!

But Komrade Punk, I was under the impression that we were supposed to forget things as part of the revolution! For example, her Holiness Hillary has forgotten where she put her e-mails, and the Pentagon has forgotten where they put 2.3 trillion dollars.

Touchè Comrade. Now, what were we talking about?

Konservative_Punk wrote: Touchè Comrade. Now, what were we talking about?

Nothing, you brought something up and it was redacted.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Konservative_Punk wrote: Touchè Comrade. Now, what were we talking about?

Nothing, you brought something up and it was redacted.

What?

I denounce Comrade Ster...

Oh, look! A squirrel!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I denounce Comrade Ster...

Oh, look! A squirrel!

Ah! Comrade Ivan,

I am looking for the punchline to Comrade Stierlitz's "Russian Hell" joke from an earlier thread - have you seen it?

Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I denounce Comrade Ster...

Oh, look! A squirrel!

Ah! Comrade Ivan,

I am looking for the punchline to Comrade Stierlitz's "Russian Hell" joke from an earlier thread - have you seen it?

Y'know Crappy, Even I don't know it. You got me in the hot seat on this one.

The inquisitive thrifty gumshoe Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I denounce Comrade Ster...

Oh, look! A squirrel!

Ah! Comrade Ivan,

I am looking for the punchline to Comrade Stierlitz's "Russian Hell" joke from an earlier thread - have you seen it?

I sure haven't. BUT, your query reminded me of how you squirrels search all winter long for where you've buried your nuts. So I was pleased to clip this coupon from last Sunday's paper for you Craptek. Enjoy a nickel's worth of savings on me comrade:

Konservative_Punk wrote:

The inquisitive thrifty gumshoe Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I denounce Comrade Ster...

Oh, look! A squirrel!

Ah! Comrade Ivan,

I am looking for the punchline to Comrade Stierlitz's "Russian Hell" joke from an earlier thread - have you seen it?

I sure haven't. BUT, your query reminded me of how you squirrels search all winter long for where you've buried your nuts. So I was pleased to clip this coupon from last Sunday's paper for you Craptek. Enjoy a nickel's worth of savings on me comrade:

squirrel chow coupon.jpg

Ummm... Komrade Punk. I tried to clip this coupon out because I like to feed the squirrels off my porch but now my computer screen doesn't work and there's a rectangular hole in it. What should I do, use duct tape or superglue or something? Or is it a issue with the OS or some software?

Comrades,

Thanks for the coupons and good wishes! Your generosity gave me an idea prompted me to set up an account at Crowdrise to collect funds for my winter nut supply! No more worrying about where I left my nuts! This is great... (you think $5,000,000 is too much to hope for?) I can't believe people are going to send me money just cause I tell them to! Wow! Thanks again for the great idea.

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,

Thanks for the coupons and good wishes! Your generosity gave me an idea prompted me to set up an account at Crowdrise to collect funds for my winter nut supply! No more worrying about where I left my nuts! This is great... (you think $5,000,000 is too much to hope for?) I can't believe people are going to send me money just cause I tell them to! Wow! Thanks again for the great idea.

crowdrise.jpg

Excellent idea Craptek. I trust that you will honor the code and share your wealth with your comrades... You know you have no greater friend than I. And furthermore, if I may make a suggestion, you may wish to play up the head-injury angle. It may tug at the heart strings of sappy suckers, causing them to take pity on an amnesia stricken squirrel who has lost his nuts and cannot recall their location. Maybe even presenting yourself as the single father of a hungry litter would cause them to dig even deeper.

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,

Thanks for the coupons and good wishes! Your generosity gave me an idea prompted me to set up an account at Crowdrise to collect funds for my winter nut supply! No more worrying about where I left my nuts! This is great... (you think $5,000,000 is too much to hope for?) I can't believe people are going to send me money just cause I tell them to! Wow! Thanks again for the great idea.

crowdrise.jpg

Excellent idea Craptek. I trust that you will honor the code and share your wealth with your comrades... You know you have no greater friend than I. And furthermore, if I may make a suggestion, you may wish to play up the head-injury angle. It may tug at the heart strings of sappy suckers, causing them to take pity on an amnesia stricken squirrel who has lost his nuts and cannot recall their location. Maybe even presenting yourself as the single father of a hungry litter would cause them to dig even deeper.

Right! Something like this?

Yes,...I remember now - you are KP, my oldest, newest dearest friend,... Don't worry about me,.. I'll be OK... OOooooo...

Captain Craptek wrote:I am looking for the punchline to Comrade Stierlitz's "Russian Hell" joke from an earlier thread - have you seen it?

"Such is life in USSA. And no amount of running will save you."