In light of recent revelations regarding the salvage and sale of human fetal parts by large government-funded corporations collectively known as "Big Baby," I submit this Modest Proposal.

It sickens me, as it should any thoughtful member of The Collective™, to witness such a grotesque display of greed by Big Baby, similar to that of Big Tobacco, Big Oil, and Big Pharma. It is simply disgusting that Big Baby would seek to profit financially from such a necessary, sacrosanct procedure as in-utero fetal dismemberment by the sale of these "specimens" for research.

However, rather than allow The Party™ to suffer the loss of election revenues through the disapproval of The People™ for receiving political donations given by Big Baby, The Party™ must recognize that the collective deserve their Fair Share™ of the haul. After all, it is primarily they who are being exploited by Big Baby, selflessly volunteering to sacrifice their young as research specimens for the Greater Good™, while enriching the corporations that comprise Big Baby.

If The Party™ truly wishes to show its compassion for this heroic class of proletarian voters who supply the lion's share of specimens to Big Baby (and incidentally, votes to The Party™). It can start by giving back to the voters. This can be accomplished by taking the young children of the rich and serving them to the poor in the form of life-giving sustenance.

You heard correctly comrade; we can placate the masses by giving the poor a place at the government trough. As the old saying goes, "the way to a man's heart is though his stomach." This will equalize the disgusting profiteering that is exploiting the proletarian masses and give the rich some "skin in the game". These tender young rich kids could be served free of charge at soup kitchens, welfare offices, cafeterias at inner-city schools, and at polling centers on election day, as a sort of "get out the vote" block party for the unwashed hungry masses.

Through these programs, The Party™ can maintain its image as an advocate of The People™, while simultaneously allowing the slaughterhouses to continue operating for the benefit of Big Baby. This will constitute a win-win for all parties, excluding the rich of course. The Party™ itself will benefit most of all, remaining the proud recipient of Big Baby's political contributions.

---

Credit to Dr. Jonathan Swift for inspiring this modest proposal with A Modest Proposal of his own. Credit to Comrade Putout for inspiring the accompanying image.

I must admit - the comrade has a point...

"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout." Jonathan Swift

This thread isn't about Dear Leader a/k/a "Big Whining Baby", then?

Lev Termen wrote:This thread isn't about Dear Leader a/k/a "Big Whining Baby", then?

Apparently not - and it's red wine with your big-baby, I presume?

My word, no, Captain. I did lay down Burgundy in the 80s, but it's still in the shipping cases. I'd much rather a nice Sauternes. Doesn't have to be Yquem, Bastor-LaMontagne will do.

Lev Termen wrote:My word, no, Captain. I did lay down Burgundy in the 80s, but it's still in the shipping cases. I'd much rather a nice Sauternes. Doesn't have to be Yquem, Bastor-LaMontagne will do.

Sauternes? Why that's a dessert wine! Survivors of the Donner Dinner purportedly opined that the meat was indeed sweet, however someone also once remarked that big-baby liver served over fava beans pairs well with a nice Chianti.

Konservative_Punk wrote:Sauternes? Why that's a dessert wine! Survivors of the Donner Dinner purportedly opined that the meat was indeed sweet, however someone also once remarked that big-baby liver served over fava beans pairs well with a nice Chianti.

Indeed. And I have it on the best authority that in order to extract the liver, as well as the lungs and heart, you must crunch above and crunch below.

The always knowledgeable and savory [color=#C0392B]Konservative_Punk[/color] wrote:Sauternes? Why that's a dessert wine! Survivors of the Donner Dinner purportedly opined that the meat was indeed sweet, however someone also once remarked that big-baby liver served over fava beans pairs well with a nice Chianti.

.
It's not the Donner Party but it will be a party...
.

This Soylent Corporation is interested with the fetal research. It reminds me of the Japanese whale research company, The Institute of Cetacean Research.

The other "white" meat.

I thought [color=#C0392B]Soviet Mike Komsomolets[/color] was talking about squi**les when he wrote:The other "white" meat.

.
Soviet Mike - Allah speed, sir!
.

This thread lends new meaning to the phrase, "one in the oven."

Captain Craptek wrote:This thread lends new meaning to the phrase, "one in the oven."

Not to mention Bugs' favorite: "What's cookin' Doc?"

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:This thread lends new meaning to the phrase, "one in the oven."

Not to mention Bugs' favorite: "What's cookin' Doc?"

What's Cookin'? Just some Baby-Back Ribs Komrade Punk.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:This thread lends new meaning to the phrase, "one in the oven."

Not to mention Bugs' favorite: "What's cookin' Doc?"

What's Cookin'? Just some Baby-Back Ribs Komrade Punk.

And BBQ sauce. You know those Nsync were talking about this.