Al-Qaeda In Name Only

Opinion by Maksim Maksimovich

I denounce Abu Hamza al-Muhajer leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq. For he has called for new “softer approach” in Iraq. He has ordered members to avoid killing Sunni civilians who have not sympathized with the U.S. backed tribesmen or the government.

Other tactics that won’t be used any longer are, punishing women who don't cover their heads, breaking the fingers of men who smoke, whipping those who imbibed alcohol, and banning shops from selling shampoo bottles that displayed images of women. Muhajer also suggests not closing the door of repentance in the face of those Sunnis who turned against us. I ask are these the actions of a revolutionary fighting a war against imperialism or ones of a defeated non-person?

Furthermore al-Qaeda's mission in Iraq to slow down the American Empire, and injure the beast under Muhajer’s leadership has been a major embarrassment. Everyone was afraid of previous leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi; he was a tough leader until his death from two 500-pound bombs dropped by a U.S. fighter jet. Whereas Muhajer has failed in imposing his personality on the organization. He is mild-mannered and weak.

He must be Purged!

While I'm on the subject, I’d like to address those few comrades who are uncomfortable with our alliance of al-Qaeda and other defenders of Islam.

The Truth™ is our goal for Progressive World of Next Tuesday can only be reached through total destruction of all that is now. In the present society all laws are unjust, all consciousness is false, all relations must be corrupt, and all institutions are oppressive. Marx said “Everything that exists deserves to perish”. Al-Qaeda understands this better than anyone. Their 9/11 attack was a turning point in the war against imperialism, for the first time, the guns had been directed the other way.

Yes I agree that their religion is a problem, however you must understand that under capitalism people turn to religion to dull the pain and suffering caused by injustice and exploitation. Our Progressive World of Next Tuesday will eliminate oppression and create a society of justice, doing away with the need for religion. In the meantime we must turn a blind eye to the religious zealotry of our newfound partners. If you have difficulty doing so, report to your local Karl Marx Treatment Center.
 

Maksim Maksimovich

Everyone was afraid of previous leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi; he was a tough leader until his death from two 500-pound bombs dropped by a U.S. fighter jet. Whereas Muhajer has failed in imposing his personality on the organization. He is mild-mannered and weak.

He must be Purged!



We can't have this! What will happen to our efforts at destroying the Great Satan if our useful idiots are led by girly men? We must take action now and fix Al Quaeda's leadership problems once and for all.

Let me suggest to you the perfect candidate:



DEATH TO AMERICA! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

This is not a leader who is going to be perceived as weak and his commitment to the cause is undisputed.

"Mustafa, where are the infidel heads you promised me for lunch?"

"Uhhh we got bo....."

"SHUT UP YOU TRAITOR TO ISLAM. TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB AND BRING THE PIECES TO ME. I AM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
 

If a Republican in name only is a RINO, what is an al Qaedian in name only? QAINO? Nah, that sounds too gay.
 

Maybe a Sleek Hyper Islamic Zealot Name Only. (SHIZNO)
 

Maksim Maksimovich

While I'm on the subject, I’d like to address those few comrades who are uncomfortable with our alliance of al-Qaeda and other Islamist.

Comrade, a fine pursuasive argument. However, you still do not seem to grasp why I still maintain it is not important or prudent to support the Islamo fascist. It has little or nothing to do with their insistence on believing in religion. While the Party supports the worthy activities of destroying all such institutions as you suggest, it does not matter to organizations such as Al Queda whether they have our support or not. They will continue to attack the West and the puppet regimes set up by the Imperialist west in conjunction with Haliburton regardless of our support. On the other hand, sadly there is still a substantial number of people who are either undecided or even frankly hostile to Party Policy and they will look on our support of the Islamofascist as validation of their concerns or fears of the Party. Would it not make more sense for the Party to publicly decry the actions of the Islamofascists and thus appear to be more mainstream moderates, thus making our Party less threatening and even more acceptable to these undecided and appear less threatening to those hostile to us? The work of Al Queda and others will continue unabated regardless, and we will appear more in line with these others. We can have our vodka and drink it too!
 

Commissar Pupovich does have a point there. I once made a small error in judgment by listening to some departed advisers who suggested that the Motherland sit back and even sign a treaty with a certain German on the basis that he would keep the west busy dealing with him, while freeing up resources to fulfill my many 5 year plans. Even the fact that he had openly stated his opposition to World Socialism, we they felt that he was useful to the cause and we could make use of him. There is no need to remind anyone what that led to. Though of course, being the great leader that I am, I was able to take potatoes and make vodka out of them. My glorious defeat of this little man made me a Hero to the Motherland and the subject of song and poetry.
 

Red Square

If a Republican in name only is a RINO, what is an al Qaedian in name only? QAINO? Nah, that sounds too gay.

DEMO?
 

Commissar Pupovich

they will look on our support of the Islamofascist as validation of their concerns or fears of the Party. Would it not make more sense for the Party to publicly decry the actions of the Islamofascists and thus appear to be more mainstream moderates, thus making our Party less threatening and even more acceptable to these undecided and appear less threatening to those hostile to us?
What you say Commissar Pupovich makes prefect sense, however I think it’s somewhat difficult for us to appear like moderates, mainstream or otherwise. With congress undermining Bush’s war, al-Qaeda publicly supporting the Democratic Party, and comrades like William Blum providing bin Laden with inspiration. I’d say the cat is already out of the bag.
 

I have a real problem with Al Queda and their kind, as does the Party. As we know, the Party cares for the downtrodden, those less equal than others, the oppressed. By that one could conclude that the Party should support Al Queda and like minded groups. But as we saw just last week, Al Queda in Iraq used mentally retarded women as bombs, to kill other oppressed people. When it comes to the human species, there is no more less equal, oppressed group than the mentally retarded. So my opposition to support of these groups is actually my support for the less equal, the most oppressed group among many. It is one thing to fight against the oppressors, to take your argument to the streets, the mosques, the schools, the Congress, but to use the weakest as bombs? No, that crosses a line that we need not cross to have our aims realized.

Hmmmm, here is a thought. If we were to come out against Al Queda, offer our well known security services in the fight, we could then demand ca$h from the Imperialist Homeland Security department, and our friends in the Congress would demand that we get a piece of the pie!
 

Commissar Pupovich

Al Queda in Iraq used mentally retarded women as bombs, to kill other oppressed people. When it comes to the human species, there is no more less equal, oppressed group than the mentally retarded.
Yes, you are making my original point for me. Abu Hamza al-Muhajer is a Terrino, al-Qaeda in name only. Who but an imperialistic fascist would exploit the mentally challenged in such a barbaric way?

Also, the people al-Qaeda are killing are not the oppressed, They are Iraqi reichwing agents working for Halliburton.
 

Oh, but they do kill the oppressed, it is hard not to when you use such barbaric, unfocused weapons, going into shopping areas etc. We must be careful. For instance, remember a few years back when some oppressed Palestinian freedom fighters used a mule to deliver their bomb? A mule is one of the more oppressed of the oppressed animal kingdom. Do you remember how upset that made our useful idiots, PETA?

As I maintain, since they are fighting to destroy the imperialist powers even without our support, I see nothing but a win-win scenario by us claiming to be outraged as well. Of course, we can still attack the imperialists by pointing out that it is their exploitation of the Islamists that cause them to commit acts that we can not condone. Win win again!
 

Fine then, you stick with the logical approach, but even if it’s against the wishes of The Party™, I will side with the Democratic Leadership in congress and the MSM. I will continue to do whatever is necessary to undermine Bushitler’s war even if it means giving aid and comfort to al-Qaeda.

BTW: I see we have something in common; I also was at Sturgis 1990, had a mild custom 76 shovelhead back then.
 

Quote:

BTW: I see we have something in common; I also was at Sturgis 1990, had a mild custom 76 shovelhead back then.


I rode through Sturgis last year, but before Bike Week. I have no hog, merely a piglett of a Honda VTX 1800C named William Seamus Finn.
 

My next bike I will call 'The Mighty One” the name of Che’s friend Alberto Granado's Norton 500.
 

Maksim Maksimovich

Fine then, you stick with the logical approach, but even if it’s against the wishes of The Party™, I will side with the Democratic Leadership in congress and the MSM. I will continue to do whatever is necessary to undermine Bushitler’s war even if it means giving aid and comfort to al-Qaeda.

BTW: I see we have something in common; I also was at Sturgis 1990, had a mild custom 76 shovelhead back then.

Comrade, I will never go against the wishes of the Party, it is just this is one area I can not support with complete enthusiasm. I would never denounce my Comrades who choose to glorify Islamofascists, nor cheer them on. The Current Truth is a living truth as you know, I just am reading tomorrow's newspaper.

Ah Comrade, if you were in Sturgis in 1990, then who knows, you and I may well have drank a beer, or rather, a lot of beer together. We camped at the national cemetary just outside Sturgis. Did you ever go to Buffalo Butte? That sure was wild. I wish I had some pictures of those days to show you, but all my pictures were burnt up once from the heat of my pipes while in the saddle bag. In those days, there were times when I carried all my possessions on earth on my Harley. Had a 87 Lowrider custom then, a 77 Lowrider before. Once had a 57 Trump Tiger Cub on a Harely frame (the same engine the "Fonz" had), but I never managed to get that legal.