I thought "crotch" was the sound it made on the impact of a shovel. Mine always has, at any rate.

And I'm with you Pinkie, my Avatar has always stayed the same, unless somebody else modifies it. I too am too much of a technological Neanderthal to change it.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Hey, I'd like to know why so many comrades are suddenly changing their avatars, and I don't just mean the addition of titles/text, etc. Just when I see an unfamiliar avatar and think, "Finally! Some fresh meat around here!"--I take a closer look at the names only to see they're the same old regulars letting loose with the same old gas.

That's fine for The Party's agenda, since it seems necessary to change its outward appearance every 20-30 years; but I for one do not appreciate the ensuing mortification after topping off my vodka and sidling up to someone I think is new, only to find it's the same person who still has my underwear in their glove compartment.

Like what are these, folks--your "summer" avatars? Will you all be molting and shedding all over the furniture again in another six months?

I'm proud of the fact that when people see my name and my face with my red headscarf, they know exactly who I am . . . and when they see my shovel, they know exactly what they're getting.

Quality Progressive Thinking. Tried. Trusted. True.

And always, 100 percent correct.

Keep watch for me this week then Pinkie. . . muahahahahaha. . .

I think we must make Whoopie the Commissar of Matchmaking.

So you're saying that hooking up Grigori R. and Fraulein P. is Whoopie's work?

Red Square wrote:So you're saying that hooking up Grigori R. and Fraulein P. is Whoopie's work?

Peasants_LeonidBaranov.jpg

Growing old collectively

I accept the Party's assignment as Commissar of Matchmaking.

And I return Pinkie's missing undies.

Comrade Whoopie. You must know that my temporal powers can't protect you from Pinkie's shovel. As our Dear Leader pointed out, one can only be Shovel Aware(TM). It was nice knowing you. Maybe we can bring a Whoopie in from another timeline to replace you.

Hey, I found those stuffed between the back seat cushions of the red Party issued Volvo I received from the People's motor pool. I make no claims on how they got there.

btw, I also found Russian cigarettes in the ashtray and this empty cigarette pack under the driver's seat. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Whoopie. You must know that my temporal powers can't protect you from Pinkie's shovel. As our Dear Leader pointed out, one can only be Shovel Aware(TM). It was nice knowing you. Maybe we can bring a Whoopie in from another timeline to replace you.

You know, you might not be able to eliminate the shovel, but what about the wielder?

I'm sure I ordered the MTE to report to the Western Branch of Siberia commonly known as Foggy Bottom, but now I keep seeing her images popping-up everywhere. Who has been disobeying my orders??

I must remember to dispatch Boris and Natasha to force her back into obscurity. I fear that her agent, Carville, is attempting to rejuvenate her. I saw him recently with a "Got Milk" tattoo on his forehead.

--Fearless Leader

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Hey, I found those stuffed between the back seat cushions of the red Party issued Volvo I received from the People's motor pool. I make no claims on how they got there.

btw, I also found Russian cigarettes in the ashtray and this empty cigarette pack under the driver's seat. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

No coincidence. It's Belomor-Canal - Pinkie's favorite brand! The same pack surfaces in this security camera footage of Pinkie during the celebration of International Woman's Day.

There, see? I knew there was a plausible explanation. Mystery solved. Leave it to our ever observant People's Director to connect the dots.

I'm sure Pinkie was just cleaning the cigarette smoke* off the rear window with an old pair of undies and they fell between the cushions and were lost.

(*that would explain the brown stains)

Lt. just_a_car wrote:And for those that did not witness it, behold the People's Knife™: https://thepeoplescube.com/post96149.html#96149

Presented, of course, with the Original People's Rifle™ and The People's Cola™.

.... and The People's Official Party Approved Margarita™

Very nice, comrades, very nice.

BTW, I don't believe my records are current, so I thought this would be the place to ask, since this thread has to do with titles. Who is Red Square's Official Whacking Boy? Who has our People's Director appointed to this very prestigious position within the Party ranks?

Would that person please identify himself at this time, or would someone at least point him out to me?

Red Square . . . ? Who did you eventually select for that honor?

Ahem... Pinkie is right (in the non-wingnut way).

The discussion has gone into some parallel, or even a perpendicular dimension (notice to Colonel Caliber since it's his department)


In view of the above, two things on today's agenda:

1. Appoint a whacking boy by general majority vote. I suggest it be one of the noobs. Cast your votes, Pinkie will cont them with a shovel.

2. Finalize suggestions on avatars and titles. Or start a new thread for Marx's sake, abandoning this one since it has turned into a quagmire.

3. Award Commissarka Pinkie with state-issue galoshes for her undying zeal and vigilance (and thereby secure our Red Army hat from a shovel-shaped dent).

I denounce quagmires! I just flew in from Tula, and boy are my arms tired! Can you believe how capitalist they've gotten over there? Why I couldn't even just requisition a shipment of samovars, I had to haggle for the best price over three other people. Disgusting. But we will have some good Tula samovars in the bunker soon enough comrades.

Now then. Yes. This thread has gotten way out of hand. I denounce it too. I think any number of reasons could have lead to it, but I blame Bush and BP.

Let us make Fearless Leader Pinkie's whipping boy, and let us discuss the original intent of this thread in a more private setting over one of these new samovars.

Obamugabe wrote:

Slight nuance on the term "whipping boy" ... is it to be a boy that does the whipping or is it a boy that gets the whipping. But it really comes down to what the definition of "is" is, as Comrade Bill Clinton would say.

To prevent further debates, divisiveness, and a potential shovel fight, I suggest we determine the identity of the whipping boy by going back to our basic beliefs:

IT'S ALL BUSH'S FAULT!


BUSH IS THE ULTIMATE WHIPPING BOY!

See how easy life is if you just stick to your fundamental values?

All right, that's enough. I ask for nothing but a name, and I can't even get that. All I get is a runaround. Runarounds are for proles, but not for made progs like Pinkie.

As usual, I see if I want anything done around here, I have to do it myself.

Therefore, I have decided that in the interests of fairness and equal redistribution of responsibilities, that Red Square's “Whacking Boy” will be whoever happens to have the misfortune of being in the immediate vicinity whenever Red Square says/does something that would get him the business end of my shovel upside his head if only he were anyone but The People's Director—not to mention the very man who gave me the shovel. He could just as easily take it back.

But I'm sure he won't mind if someone else gets shovel-whacked on his behalf.

At least three times, on three different occasions on three separate threads, I have told Red Square that the above photo is not of me, but of the cleaning woman, who thought to avail herself of my cigarettes and vodka in my absence. And at least three times he has ignored my admonishments and merrily continued to post the photo and incorrectly label it as that of Commissarka Pinkie.

Whoopie? Yes, you, Whoopie. I am so WHACK! damned sick and WHACK! tired of Red Square WHACK! posting that photo and WHACK! telling everyone it's of WHACK! me WHACK! when it WHACK! isn't!

Now get up off the floor, Whoopie, and pull that ice axe out of that huge fissure in your—oh wait, that's not your head. Wow, I really whacked you good this time, didn't I? Well, too bad. Red Square had it coming to you.

And clean up this mess. Use those huge pink bloomers that are not mine, but the cleaning woman's.

All this whacking and sweating and grunting and screeching . . . I feel like Monica Seles.

Pinkie m'dear, as every woman knows, the only thing worse than being teased by the boys is being ignored by them.

Shy boys only tease girls they like and I think Pinkie whacks back for the same reason.

(wink)

Now Red Square, you owe me a bottle of that "beat" vodka.

I hear that you Comrade Whoopie, have been known to "whack" when Pinkie's name comes up in conversation.

Good grief! I go on a little sabbatical and all heck breaks loose. Looks around nervously. I do hope the whackings are over. I knew that cleaning lady photo would be the end of someone. Just glad it wasn't me. Speaking of photos, that image of the old couple in the hay is lovely and very fitting.

Anyway, nice to see everyone's given themselves promotions and titles. It's good for morale.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Now Red Square, you owe me a bottle of that "beat" vodka.

Sorry you had to take one for the team, but it was needed for the Common Good. Sacrifices as such are good for the collective morale.

Pull up the chair, comrade. Let's talk.

Ooooh, The good stuff...now you're talkin' comrade.

Take one for the team? You can say that again Comrade Director. I just spent the past week with the MTE! I wasn't on sabbatical, I owed the MTE big time. She brokered the peace between the Peoples Cube and the iOTW. I tried to run, but she tracked me down. What a week!

Fearless Leader need not worry about her. Thanks to me she's a new woman spiritually and physically. She's back in the Pink Red and her old self again. I saw her on the news today and she's looking great.

Now pass the good stuff Whoopie.

Obamugabe wrote:

Karl Marx wrote:"Ich will die Krankenschwester mit ein tischbein geschlagt."

"I want to hit the nurse with a table leg" or "I want the nurse who hit me with a table leg" ??

My German is not really very good, but this quote from the Immortal Marx proves that he too smoked dope on occasion.

Which makes me wonder: If you hit a nurse with a table leg and there is no one to hear her fall, did you really hit her?

Very good question.

The Party has obtained footage of the aftermath of Pinkie's shovel whack and the effect it had on Comrade Whoopie. Filmed by an innocent bystander visiting from Europe, so it must be true!

I thought I was the only one who couldn't be killed. Comrade Whoopie really is indestructible!

I'm on board with this idea and live with the reality that I'll probably be downgraded from Comrade Buffoon to Despised Random Numbnuts...