We All Live In A Nuclear Submarine
Baby You Can Push My Car
Can't Buy Me Toilet Paper



(Forgive me if I double posted this - I bought this computer at Comp USSR and it's skipping.)

Happiness Is A Warm Bus Station
You Really Got a dossier On Me
Things We Said Today (were recorded by that weird looking thing in the butter dish.)
All You Need Is Useful Idiots

Welcome Comrade B.F. Hat! Hat size matters!

Generally we have limits on hat sizes to avoid envy of the collective, but this one looks so monumental that I just don't have the heart to cut you down to size. I just hope this will not bring forth hat envy among the comrades. We fought off a bad case of viral hat envy a few months ago, when Commissarka Pinkie stated her preference for men in red hats. This one could very well steal her heart, causing her to replace the picture of Brad Pitt with yours. I'm talking, of course, about the picture she has glued to the business end of her shovel.

It is UNFAIR to blatantly sport a hat of such proportion when there are others with no hats at all.

I saved all my past hats and fashioned them together with dental floss (which I waited on line for 3 hours to get, thinking it was cheese.)
Is my forward thinking not encouraged?

In retrospect I am thankful it was dental floss. I was prepared to wear the giant cheese wheel on my head (so cold, it is sooo cold) but I probably would have been mistaken for a green Bay Packer's fan and sent to, the colder still, Siberia.

IronyCurtain wrote:It is UNFAIR to blatantly sport a hat of such proportion when there are others with no hats at all.

Oh? Did the "doctors" at the Karl Marx Re-Education Center fail to check your vision? Not to worry comrade Irony Curtain, I have issued orders for you to go through the intake line again so that we can ensure you are "taken care of" properly. Welcome to the collective.... it's a good day to shovel comrade!

And here I thought that I had a large hat. Well, that's OK, I still have a bigger gun...
. -Mikhail

But you don't have one of these...

Mikhail,
That is one formidable hat, fiercely starched, impressively powerful, intense and if lined with the tin foil is capable of picking up the HBO, I am sure. I myself enjoy Cathouse, The Series. It is freakin fantastic, am I wrong?
Of course, I only watch it to document the steady moral decay of capitalism.
BFH

Cathouse Comrade BigFurHat? One of my first decress as Commissar of Eco-Prostitution and Mental Health was to ban the term "Cathouse" as a divisive, exclusionary reactionary term, not to mention the rather distasteful association with the cat beast species. At the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses, we refer to ourselves as a facility, an institute, or sometimes simply "going to work," though of course serving the needs of the collective (not to mention increasing my subsidies) can hardly be considered work.

Commissar,
I had no idea the term "Cathouse" was being used as a divisive, exclusionary reactionary term.
I've never watched it with the sound on.
The show is about poor women who have falsely believed in the capitalistic system and cannot afford clothes. Good willed men visit to rub on them and try and warm them up, am I wrong?
Many regrets,
BFH

BigFurHat wrote:...and if lined with the tin foil is capable of picking up the HBO

Of course you realize that in the People's Cube vernacular, HBO stands for "Hate Bush Orgasm" - a favorite entertainment of progressive elites (second only to solving the People's Cube puzzle). We are picking the HBO everywhere and every time, with or without special devices. But the clearer the reception, the stronger the HBO - in that sense your statement is correct.

I must try Kalashnikov's big hat for size one of these days. It does look like a small satellite dish! The horny old bastard, not sharing HBO with the collective!

And Pupovich - that puts you under suspicion as well.

Glorious Leader Red Cube, I believe you will find my People's hat is proper state approved proportion. It's width precisely matches the width of the ears. Can one say that about Kalishikov's or BigFurHat? Nyet! Those hats have their own gravity field.

Of course one day I hope to be able to exchange my hat for the Chairman's... one like the Chairman's, and his coat, pockets, accounts, Hummels.....

IronyCurtain wrote:It is UNFAIR to blatantly sport a hat of such proportion when there are others with no hats at all.

I must admit some hat envy, comrade B.F.Hat. Please remove hat should you enter my compound, otherwise my security detail will undoubtedly shred it by mistake.

Red Square wrote:

BigFurHat wrote:...and if lined with the tin foil is capable of picking up the HBO

And Pupovich - that puts you under suspicion as well.

Glorious Leader, surely you must realize that dear Commissar Pupovich's political reliability has been in question for some time now. He was sporting a non-approved hat at a decadent little cross-dressing party held at his dacha last weekend:


I, being a simple cat, am pleased with my People's cap and shovel...

My hat seems to be beyond my control. To avoid gulag I am considering renaming myself
TinyRussianHead.
Please advise.

One man's big hat is another man's tiny head.

The nature of the Socalist struggle is always a dynamism between control and uncontained fury. Your hat understands. In time, it will call you master.

We are all one misstep from the gulag, comrade formerly-known-as-BigFurHat! Enjoy your ration of vodka and beans, and thank Lenin and Mao for another day in worker's paradise.

B.F. Hat!

Welcome, I'm glad to see you picked up my signal. That is very good camo for your tinfoil. Nobody would suspect.

Mousey-Tongue wrote:One man's big hat is another man's tiny head.

Comrade Cat Beast, may I suggest that you avoid such comments in the future? Of course while our true progressives would never misunderstand nor stand for such divisive thinking, there yet remain a vast number of loyal, yet still not as enlightened, comrades of the female persuasion that envision other things when they hear about a "man's tiny head."

Commissar Pupovich wrote:

Mousey-Tongue wrote:One man's big hat is another man's tiny head.

...there yet remain a vast number of loyal, yet still not as enlightened, comrades of the female persuasion that envision other things when they hear about a "man's tiny head."

As our Glorious Leader so aptly pointed out in reference to our comrade's BigFurryHat, size does matter. Your point is well taken, Commissar.

Perhaps I am too new to the collective and don't want to seem overzealous in the reporting of others so that they may disappear in the night, but, regarding this "comrade" BigFurHat...
is it not noticable that his hat appears to be GROWING? Why, it's approaching Sputnik size.
May I suggest the possibility that this person is HOARDING rations? And why would a person feel the need to store an unequal amount? Surely, this bears further investigation...

Hoarding rations... ya.. sure... hehe... ya... like I would really have a small motorized refrigerator in my hat to store chocolates and caviar... sure.
In my defense, comrades, remember "Objects from the Mir seem larger than they are."

What kind of cute baby animals--and how many--were brutally murdered to make that hat?

None. This is a living bear cub hibernating on my head.

But it's springtime, and the salmon are spawning. Don't you think it's time the bear cub woke up and got himself something to eat?

And where's his mother?

Not to mention it's cruel to make him sleep on your tiny head.

My hat is well fed and trained to sit happily upon my well proportioned head.
And if you ever want to do any spawning of your own I suggest you tend to your own babushka- if you get where I am going with this.

Comrade BFH, because you are new I will overlook that last remark; however, I would ask other members of the Collective who have been here for much longer, to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

That's assuming there are any comrades out there who aren't afraid to speak up for fear it will happen to them . . . again.

Would it help to tell you I was drunk when I wrote that?

Yes and no. You must consider WHY you are drunk. What, or who, has driven you to drink? Made you miserable? Enraged you? Drained you of all hope (which, according to Obama, you never had to begin with anyway)? RUINED YOUR LIFE, AND THE ENTIRE WORLD WHICH YOU INHABIT . . . with lies . . . failed policies . . . blood for oil . . . the wanton destruction of all rights and liberties . . . Crimes Against Everything!

Whose fault is it, BigFurHat? Whose fault is it always? Who do you blame for everything? WHO?

Say it, BigFurHat. Say the name--the only name--that will get you off the hook every time!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I would ask other members of the Collective ... to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

The short answer is "the shovel upside the head." Awww! What'd you that for?

IronyCurtain wrote:Perhaps I am too new to the collective and don't want to seem overzealous in the reporting of others so that they may disappear in the night

One can't be too overzealous in the reporting of others, comrade. The Party is always behind its members. Watching. Closely. Very closely.

Here is my favorite illustration that describes the warm but responsible relations inside our tight collective.

<img src="/Vashi/pic/image21s.jpg" border="0" width="350" height="210">

BigFurHat wrote:ya... like I would really have a small motorized refrigerator in my hat to store chocolates and caviar... sure. ... remember "Objects from the Mir seem larger than they are."

The Inner Comrade is strong within BigFurHat. Let's cut him some slack. His innovative hat-held motorized refrigerator for hoarding food rations has the potential of becoming a state-issue item for privileged members in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(TM). Besides, his line about "Objects from the Mir seem larger" betray a knack for Party-approved poetry that I'm sure would've melted Pinkie's heart if she weren't too drunk to focus on anything other than the size of the comrade's organs.

Glorious Leader, I am not drunk--or at least not any drunker than usual, considering it's Friday night--and it was precisely because he melted my heart that I cut him some slack and gave him a warning not usually offered to anyone else! (Just ask anyone else, if they can still talk through their wired jaws).

And as for the "size" issue--well, with all due respect, Sir, I am not the one who keeps bringing that up.

That's one of the best Freudian slips most decadent bourgeois double entendres ever posted on this site. (I'll go check your other posts now for similar ones I may have missed).

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Comrade BFH, because you are new I will overlook that last remark; however, I would ask other members of the Collective who have been here for much longer, to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

That's assuming there are any comrades out there who aren't afraid to speak up for fear it will happen to them . . . again.

Hmmmm, I remember a time not long ago when I was honored to have done so.... then I discovered that my subsidy-loss ratio was not as profitable as I had thought. So for now, I will just keep a close close eye on the market and that hat, and hope it doesn't get any bigger.

Comrades! Let not this petty bourgeois haberdashery distract us from the main point of this thread - which is to find a name for our People's band.

Is everybody happy with Lubianka Lads? Here are a few more suggestions:

Trotsky and the Mensheviks
Laika and the Rockettes
The Fellow Travelers
Jefferson Hybrid
Stalin Airplane
Grateful Democrat Voter
The Ditch Boys
Climate Report (Not to be confused with Climate Underground, which is a non-profit organization that educates the masses about change)

And, of course, this one...

Frankie Goes To Siberia
Trotsky Trotsky
Guns n' Vodka
The Moody Reds
Steely Vlad
Sha Nyet Nyet

The Beetles gets my vote

Shot Down U2
Led Spudnik
Lynyn Skynyn
Men Without Ushankas
Georgia Satellites
Grand Funk Trans-Siberian Railroad

Red Square wrote:Comrades! Let not this petty bourgeois haberdashery distract us from the main point of this thread - which is to find a name for our People's band.

Is everybody happy with Lubianka Lads? Here are a few more suggestions:

And, of course, this one...

Comrade....is there a question that this is the correct name? When I mentioned the Lubyanka Lads, I was not implying that was the name of the group. That is just the term that was commonly used in the MSM which referred to the fact that all of the Famished Four came from the same working class city. Their name was the Beetles. It is an historical fact... Sometimes, I truly do feel like I am the Old Guard Dog here.

Oh, I remember Uncle Beria and Uncle Stalin never quite understood the name, The Beetles, themselves. They kept thinking they were named after the insects that their scientists were trying to develop into super bugs that would destroy the peasantry of the world one day.

In My Own Defense.... and I may need one soon....

I will have my comrades know that I have been busy indeed! But I am also efficient in that I am both protecting the People, and the People's Harvest and satisfying that Friday night rock thirst!



Laika has her radio signals, and I have my musical message! Of course you must know the code to understand it.

If I had the right to vote I would choose from among:

Frankie Goes To Siberia

Sha Nyet Nyet

Men Without Ushankas

Grand Funk Trans-Siberian Railroad

And contribute my own:

Aeroflot

But alas, I have more pressing problems. I do not want to brag but, no matter what I do I cannot get my avatar down to smaller than 8K. I have tried numerous methods and even phoned my physician after my avatar would not shrink in size after four hours but still no luck.
Does Glorious Leader accept bribes of Genuine Levis Slacks to look the other way while an 8K
avatar slips by?

Irony Curtain wrote:If I had the right to vote I would choose from among:

Of course we all have the right to vote, after which The Cubes ultra super secret delegates will make the correct decision for us.

What is this? Suggesting candidate names for the band after the Glorious Red Cube has created a magnificent band poster? Is that not sufficient for you comrades to know which way to vote? Do I have to spell it out for you with a shovel?

Irony Curtain wrote:Does Glorious Leader accept bribes of Genuine Levis Slacks to look the other way while an 8K avatar slips by?

Email me the image file for the avatar along with the Levis Slacks and I'll see what I can do.

Make the image larger than the target size and I'll shrink it bring it down to correct size with a team of propaganda psychiatrists at Karl Marx Treatment Center, headed by Doctor of Dictatorship Comrade Otis.

The trick is, the image must WANT to shrink!

Speaking of recalcitrant others in the collective, what do we have to do to cure the signature that is supposed to attach. Sure it promises to do so, but always fails to show.

I attached Comrade Curtain's avatar today. Hope he likes it.

Pupovich - this is how easily people (and dogs) begin to take things for granted. Remember the time when the Cube functioned without the avatars? They were not in the original intelligent design. But under the wise and caring leadership of the Party and the Polituro we have achieved an unparalleled success in our unstoppable growth and provided the masses with the rights to have their avatars. And now that is not enough and you also want signatures? To stand apart from the others even more? No! This is where we draw the line. Signatures can only be allowed when everybody has one and the same signature - which defeats the purpose of having signatures - which is why we have no signatures.

How much more individuality do you want, Pupovich? How far are you willing to go? Wear a smuggled Levi Strauss jeans costume maybe? Listen to loud jerky music? Eat ALPO Chop House Grill Experience? Where will it lead you? I'll tell you where. In the end you may wind up wearing a pink ballerina dress with a red bow. You have been denounced in this Party organ quite a few times, comrade. You have been purged, yet allowed to return to your Commissariat. Don't shove your luck, comrade!

<img src="/Vashi/pic/image42s.jpg" border="0" width="300" height="238">
"I have to announce that Comrade Commissar has been relieved of his post -- for health reasons..."

Ha! Pup got bitch slapped.

Comrade Cube, don't judge this Commissar too badly, for I believe I will soon demonstrate my great love for the Party in a way that will leave no doubt.

That sounds like a fortune cookie. And here we thought all dog food from China had been revoked.

Comrade Red Cube, the deed is done!

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1901

Commissar Maksim wrote:Ha! Pup got bitch slapped.

Not so, for as you will shortly see, this was just the spur I needed.

GASP! Is this what I think it is, Comrade Red Square!? Did you really use "Intelligent Design" in a sentence thus proving that you are one of many among us who deny the truth that all men/women were created by chance and evolved from Macaca!? Are you really that scientifically illiterate!? Sweet Stalin on high! Tell me these are not your words, Comrade Red Square! Please tell me that you did not utter the unutterable! Please tell me that this is some awful, awful mistake and that I am just seeing things due to the Oxycontin that I have been popping and the whiskey that I used to wash it all down! Please! Oh I beg you! I beg you to tell me that the following is not your words and was instead the work of ::INSERT NAME:: who is trying to to sabotage your reputation!

Comrade Red Square wrote:They were not in the original intelligent design

OH HOW MY HEART BLEEDS, COMRADES! OH HOW IT BLEEDS FOR THE TRAITOR THAT FORCED COMRADE RED SQUARE TO SAY SUCH A THING! OH! OH! MY PANTS RUN BROWN WITH MY REVOLUTIONARY EXCREMENT UPON READING SUCH COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY GARBAGE! MY PANTS, COMRADES! MY PANTS ARE SQUISHY AND FULL OF STEAMY REVOLUTION BECAUSE I FEEL AWFUL -- JUST AWFUL! -- FOR THE ONE (OR MANY) WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH WORDS! THEY WILL PAY! THEY WILL ALL PAY! NO ONE HERE USES THOSE TWO WORDS! NO ONE DENIES SCIENCE! SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTE! SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTE BECAUSE THEY PARTY WILLS IT SO!

Could it be Pupovich that inserted those words into my post? Yeah, it had to be Pupovich....

No Comrade Red Square, I have thrown myself on my own shovel for the good of the Party, but my paw prints are not to be found on that! However, I did go see that counter-revolutionary film "Expelled" just last week so as to be prepared. You know, one must know the enemy so as to defeat them. It was a most interesting and well done film I am sad to report.

Oh well. Back to the business as usual.

Another name for our band: The Eastern Bloke.

Commissar Pupovich wrote:Speaking of recalcitrant others in the collective, what do we have to do to cure the signature that is supposed to attach. Sure it promises to do so, but always fails to show.

Signatures? You mean as in signature blocks? Oh, we are so not doing that here! Not only do they needlessly clutter up posts--you already see my name and picture up there, is that not enough?--but they are little more than organs of shameless self-promotion, listing, nay, boasting of all the poster's latest accomplishments.

I'm on other boards where members go nuts with those things. Alas, some have more to promote than others, and you can imagine what that does to the self-esteem of those who don't have as many accomplishments. Indeed, some of those boards actually have rules about what you can put in your signature--e.g., no more than three lines--so that everything is uniform and consistent, and everyone is equal, and no one feels more accomplished than anyone else.

Pinkie
Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Pinkie
Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
http://www.jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Visit my blog! (Updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

<br>How can I possibly compete with a signature like this? Not only must we never have signatures, Pupovich must add bringing up the subject of signatures to his list of charges for pending show trial.

I must confess, I fell victim to a clever trap in the Cubes help page. I mistakenly assumed that since there were instructions on how to add a signature, complete with a check box that was supposed to activate said signature, that a WRECKER was at work here against the Party. Little did I know that the KGB had placed this option there to try and weed out self promoters. Clearly I am in need of increased vigilance.

Commissar Maksim wrote:How can I possibly compete with a signature like this? Not only must we never have signatures, Pupovich must add bringing up the subject of signatures to his list of charges for pending show trial.

There you go! An example of why I found it necessary to heroically throw myself on my own shovel, to breathe new fire into my comrades! Has some in the party grown too lazy that they now require the victim to supply ALL charges against himself? Would you have me be the judge and executioner as well Comrade? Is it not enough that I have provided the start? Or perhaps the Party needs yet another show trial once mine is complete!

Yes. We trust you wouldn't mind paying for the bullets, as well as for the rent of the trial facilities, and salaries of all trial members, security guards, technicians, and the cleaning lady in a Che Guevara shirt. That includes, of course, their pension plans, medical benefits (with dental), social security, and unemployment insurance.

Comrade Red Square, I would be proud to pay for this.....but of course I will need to stash my contributions and expropriations away to pay the bribes that may prove necessary, or my funeral arrangements, which are quite extensive. Perhaps I can charge it on this Red Express credit card that I found at the Party Pleasure House. You would no doubt recognize the name on the card. Actually, the way things are going, those fees will be going to me since given the laxidasical Party response so far, I will be able to refute the charges and demand reparations upon completion. The Party will owe me for this one day. But I do this For the Party, for the Common Good as I am sure you will see.

I tend to suspect BigFurHat of keeping his Socialist Wisdom to himself, using it prophylactically. It is our first duty, comrades, to share our wisdom, our knowledge, our experience. For after all, if the world is not made miserable, squalid, and sordidwealthy, happy and progressive by Socialism how will it be made so?

So BigFurHat, be sure to punch lots of holes in it so that the space waves from Laika can fully get to your tin-foil hat so that you may dispense them to the proles.

I am worker, do not hear me roar.

See how humble, I left last comment as "guest."
I serve the collective. No special insight or wisdom.
I know what you know, what is good for the collective is good for me.

Uh, yeah, BigFurHat, uh, yeah. My point exactly. In fact with those opinions you have shown yourself to be an excellent progressive. Never thrusting yourself in front of others, always placing your own good at the disposal of others'.

By the way, just for safe keeping. May I have
1. Your social security number.
2. Your bank account numbers and
3. All those card-protection numbers? They're three digits on the back of a MasterCard or Visa, and four digits on the front of the Amex.

I'd be <i>so</i> careful with them. And it's for the People, you know.

But first, don't you think we need to see what is under that hat of his? For all we know, that could be one of the "undisclosed locations" that the Bushitler and Cheney slip away to when the proles come close to serving them the People's Justice™.

Or it could be Saddam's WMD.

Or the notes of Jayson McBride.

Say, did they ever find all the Rose Law Firm billing records?

I have heard rumors that the eighteen and a half minute gap in the Watergate Tapes and the grassy knoll of the JFK assassination (yes, the entire grassy knoll), is hidden in that hat.

It's big enough to hide Monica Lewinsky.

Wait. That's the wrong head.

I have heard it whispered that the Jimmy Hoffa investigation is now focused on that big fur hat.

And has anyone bothered to check if BigFurHat was in The Bermuda Triangle during the disappearance of all those battleships? I mean, what do we know about this guy?

I'm starting to get interested in that red thing in the middle of BigFurHat's Big Fur Hat. Dirty enquiring minds want to know.

You and me both, Comrade Theocritus. He appears to be toting his own personal missile firing button!

Notice, he does not deny these things..... most suspicious!

I am also monitoring him in the CHEvrolet BillAyers thread. Who are his known associates and who has brought him here? He is quite humorous, yes, but I don't recall seeing him at the Yakov Institute For Comedy. Curious.

Hey, I saw a real good documentary movie last night.
It was called No Way Out w/Kevin Costner. Anyone see it?

Nah...we don't get the new current movies in our sector.

I only watch party-approved documentaries about Soviet boy meets tractor, Soviet boy falls in love with tractor, tractor falls in love with Soviet girl who looks like tractor, Soviet boy looses tractor, Soviet girl pulls plow for growing beets and potatoes, tractor elected to chairmanship of DNC, all live happily every after.

To watch anything else is bourgeois weakness and worthy of denouncing.

I only watch movies starring either Tim Robbins or Susan Sarandon. Everything else is just corporate garbage made by Rupert Murdoch and his corporate cronies.

Movies? What is this movie you speak of? Sorry, Ever since GTA IV came out I have lost all contact with the outside world.

http://www.g4tv.com/xplay/reviews/1774/ ... to_IV.html

Mmmm... GTA 4.

It makes me happy in places it shouldn't.

I know... GTA has that power. I am willing to plop down the $400 for a PS3 now that GTA 4 is out.