Comrades. As everyone knows, true historical record cannot be properly appreciated until it is revised and altered by the Socialist Historians Institute of Teaching (SHIT). I have come across a few historical events that occurred on this day that I believe may be of some interest to you all.

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August 9, 1776 - Indians Agree to Help Fight Against Tea-Baggers!
Staten Island, New York, British Superintendent of Indian Affairs returns from England and shares his confidence that the Iroquois will choose to ally themselves with the British crown against the unruly ungrateful terrorist-teabaggers of the American Revolutionary War.

August 9, 1945 - The Empire Strikes Back....twice.
American imperialism was on display when war-mongering President, Harry S. Truman, not satisfied with the amount of carnage that he had ordered against the innocent people of Hiroshima, Japan, ordered another indiscriminate and completely unnecessary brutal atomic bomb to be dropped on Nagasaki, Japan.

August 9, 1974 - Tricky Dick goes limp.
Fascist American President, Richard M. Nixon resigns from office.

August 9, 1985 - Useful Idiot takes one for the team.
Useful idiot comrade and fashion trend-setter Arthur Walker was convicted in an American kangaroo court of espionage in one of the most important spy rings in history. Comrade Walker was convicted of passing top-secret documents to Soviet agents. Comrade Walker was sentenced to life in prison, for which I am sure will be pardoned by our Dear Leader on his last day in office in 2013...oops..I almost forgot, Dear Leader is never leaving office.

August 9, 1995 - A Grateful Dead goes up in smoke.
San Francisco counterculture hippie icon, socialist millionaire, and singer for The Grateful Dead, Jerry Garcia, died of a heart attack in a drug treatment facility in California. Comrade Garcia paved the way for over the hill progressive rock-stars to make millions of $$$$ in overpriced concert tickets by singing the same songs in four different decades. Comrade Garcia's legacy of unbathed, unshaved, tie-dye wearing stoners has continued on to this very day...mostly at Code Pink rallies, NOW gatherings, and Lilith Fair concerts.

Socialist Historians Institute of Teaching - We Report, We Decide.

P.S. Most glorious Thank You to whatever fellow-traveler cleaned up and tightened up my post. For some strange reason when I blog and submit my spacings gets eliminated and my photos get out of whack. Nevertheless, Big Brother is always watching and as such cleaned it up for a more readable presentation.