1) "I haven't heard from you since Egypt, my little waffle!
Bahrain, Libya, Yemen, Saudi Arabia,
how many regimes must I topple to hear from you ? Must I shave my beard like Trumka to speak with you?"

2) "No that's not an RPG in my pocket,
I'm just imagining you in a burqa."

I prefer young, blond, female CBS reporters, but Allah's ways are flexible, so you'll do.

You can trust me, I'm not like the others.

I won't detontate in your mouth..I promise.

So. You may not much of a looker but I hear you have a hell of a lot of money.

This time I thought I'd kiss you first.

You have the entire counry on their knees, what's next?

My fav so far (like anyone cares) via I.C. Yurhini

Yeah, I declare, as Father Prog Theocritus, that nothing will top Yurhini.

Trying to is like remaking Auntie Mame.

BARACK:

Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours?

MOHAMMED:

Why do the neighbors chatter all day, behind their doors?

BARACK:

I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue.
Here is the gist, a practical list of "don'ts" for you.
Don't throw bouquets at me
Don't please my folks too much
Don't laugh at my jokes too much
People will say we're in love!
Don't sigh and gaze at me
Your sighs are so like mine
Your eyes mustn't glow like mine
People will say we're in love!
Don't start collecting things
Give me my rose and my glove.
Sweetheart they're suspecting things
People will say we're in love.

MOHAMMED:

Some people claim that you are to blame as much as I.
Why do y' take the trouble to bake my favorite pie?
Grantin' your wish, I carved our initials on that tree.
Jist keep a slice of all the advice you give so free.
Don't praise my charm too much
Don't look so vain with me
Don't stand in the rain with me
People will say we're in love!
Don't take my arm too much
Don't keep your hand in mine
Your hand feels so grand in mine
People will say we're in love!
Don't dance all night with me
Till the stars fade from above.
They'll see it's alright with me
People will say we're in love.


(In the next scene, they buy a ring from the Persian Peddler, AI-lee HAYkem, and elope.)

OR:

"Knock, knock, Obama!"
"Who's there, Mohammed?"
"Sam and Janet."
"Sam and Janet who?"
(sings): "Sam and Janet evening, you will meet a stranger........."