Comrade Commissar, I must make a report to you comrade, a report of a crime so heinous and so grievous that there will be no need for a trial from the inner circle.

Comrade Commissar, the facts are these and they are indisputable. On 11-24 2008 at the hour of 1613 a false utterance occured in that the elitist Miss Piggy was improperly associated with the thug gang of Sesame Street.

Comrade Commissar, I, Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich made that utterance.

Comrade Commissar, it is with a saddened heart that I must resign my position as Headmaster of the School of Treacherous Toadeating.

Comrade Commissar, if you would be so kind to requisition from the peoples armory one pistol and one bullet, I will put this sad episode to rest in a way that is sure to please the inner circle.

Comrade Commissar, I have already taken my people's shovel and dug a place for my final repose, far away from the glorious graves of brave comrades so as not to desecrate their final rest.

Comrade Commissar, I await a pistol and bullet.
radnoskovich

Yo Dawg!

G, my main man Theo, is here in Big D wid me knocking back sum 40s. I'll ax him to bust ya with his MAK 9, but he usually has lowlifes soldjas like me do that if'n he don't wanna impale ya.

Not bein in yo face, but you in it DEEP. Yo, Cos, maybe you can get in with the big O. You got shovel. And 1/2 pay on DNC VISA Gift Cards is better than nadda.

Herr Gruppenfurer, you appear to have been demoralized by the Rethuglicans, and are perhaps working too hard toiling for the people by indoctrinating youths at the STT. Your remedy of one bullet only is a bit severe, and does not serve the best interests of the Party or the People.

I hereby UN-DENOUNCE Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich!

I appeal to Commissar Theocritus and even Chairman Meow to commute any sentence to perhaps a few weeks chopping permafrost and re-education. To end such a career on the very arrival of Next Tuesday would be an unthinkable travesty!

However, there are other considerations. Comrade Gruppenfurer has also failed the Party by not purchasing his bullet himself, nor providing the address to his family so they may be charged for the bullet. Even in his otherwise admirable self denunciation he would take from the People the cost of his correction. In addition, he has shown a disturbing sense of rebellion in that he has taken it upon himself to decide whether he can be of further use to the Party. For these reasons, I must also denounce Comrade Gruppenfurer. However, I do agree with you General Cat, that perhaps he may be put to better use for the time being.

I blame Bush.

Yo Doc, stay away from that bad bush.

I appeal to Commissar Theocritus and even Chairman Meow to commute any sentence to perhaps a few weeks chopping permafrost and re-education.

I'm up for a pardon. I like to be merciful. But mercy ain't cheap $$$.

Whatcha got, Rad? Jewelry, perhaps? Maybe you have your mother's pearls or perhaps a treasured pocket-watch your father gave to you before he was hauled off to the gulag.

Maybe you have a little can in the cupboard where you and your wife stashed a few rubles so that you can get your children a few used shoes for Solstice. I'm willing to bargain. We do have to pardon one turkey here at the Cube and sentence all the failed Comrades here to death. I would really hate to waste the pardon on a person as opposed to a turkey. PETA would not approve.
Time is running out.

I can hear the Commissar of Untimley Death loading up his pistol.

$$$$$$$$ Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Whaddaya got? $$$$$$

General Mousey-Tongue wrote: I appeal to Commissar Theocritus and even Chairman Meow to commute any sentence to perhaps a few weeks chopping permafrost and re-education. To end such a career on the very arrival of Next Tuesday would be an unthinkable travesty!

Comrade Commissar and Comrade Chairman,

As Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products, I cannot agree more with the fantastically equal and wise recommendation of the General. Though such incidences of thought crime may be harmful to party perception, there is certainly a place for Comrade Radnoskovich in the tundra. I've already alerted the manager of Platform 6 to be ready to receive Comrade R. For the good of the party, allow me to extract the remaining worth from our former friend until he is but a whithered, emaciated shadow of his former self.

-Vodkavich

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo Dawg!

G, my main man Theo, is here in Big D wid me knocking back sum 40s. I'll ax him to bust ya with his MAK 9, but he usually has lowlifes soldjas like me do that if'n he don't wanna impale ya.

Not bein in yo face, but you in it DEEP. Yo, Cos, maybe you can get in with the big O. You got shovel. And 1/2 pay on DNC VISA Gift Cards is better than nadda.

Well spoken Comrade Cradle to Grave. Clearly you have been brought up in the finest People's School. I admit yours is the first shovel I have seen with "spinners," though I am not sure that is the proper People's term for those things.

Marshal Pupovich wrote: Clearly you have been brought up in the finest People's School. I admit yours is the first shovel I have seen with "spinners," though I am not sure that is the proper People's term for those things.

Yo Dawg.

Was first in my class from a well known private University in New Haven, Connecticut, on the gubmint's dime.

Are my "spinners" big 'nuff fo you.


(And Yo Rad, Theo wouldn't loan me his Makarov. I think he plans to do you personal. I'd be REAL worried if I was you.)





Comrade “Pul” хулиганье
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:

I appeal to Commissar Theocritus and even Chairman Meow to commute any sentence to perhaps a few weeks chopping permafrost and re-education.

I'm up for a pardon. I like to be merciful. But mercy ain't cheap $$$.

Whatcha got, Rad? Jewelry, perhaps? Maybe you have your mother's pearls or perhaps a treasured pocket-watch your father gave to you before he was hauled off to the gulag.

Maybe you have a little can in the cupboard where you and your wife stashed a few rubles so that you can get your children a few used shoes for Solstice. I'm willing to bargain. We do have to pardon one turkey here at the Cube and sentence all the failed Comrades here to death. I would really hate to waste the pardon on a person as opposed to a turkey. PETA would not approve.
Time is running out.

I can hear the Commissar of Untimley Death loading up his pistol.

$$$$$$$$ Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Whaddaya got? $$$$$$

Chairman, my liege,

Radnosvitch has been only recently promoted by our most esteemed Commissar Theocritis. He has been charged with the task of writing a syllubus for the new School of Treachery and Toadeating. Perhaps this caused him to "burn out" his few braincells. Why would he denounce himself unless it was to get out of his duties to the Commissar. We (the Party) know how the good Commissar can be a stern taskmaster, and his penchant for having everything "just so" and done yesterday can wreck havoc on the most industrious prole. A few days at the KMTC should bring him back to us, and let him resume his task with firm resolve.

getting ready for the crowds at the door of my PHK,

Che' Gourmet
PS: Chairman, He does have a very impressive wine cellar.

Che Gourmet wrote:Radnosvitch has been only recently promoted by our most esteemed Commissar Theocritis. He has been charged with the task of writing a syllubus for the new School of Treachery and Toadeating. Perhaps this caused him to "burn out" his few braincells. Why would he denounce himself unless it was to get out of his duties to the Commissar. We (the Party) know how the good Commissar can be a stern taskmaster, and his penchant for having everything "just so" and done yesterday can wreck havoc on the most industrious prole. A few days at the KMTC should bring him back to us, and let him resume his task with firm resolve. .

Actually Commissar Che Gourmet, there may well be a very good reason for Comrade Radnosvitch to have denounded himself. He could be merely following a shining example to the Love of Party that some have....

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Che Gourmet wrote:Radnosvitch has been only recently promoted by our most esteemed Commissar Theocritis. He has been charged with the task of writing a syllubus for the new School of Treachery and Toadeating. Perhaps this caused him to "burn out" his few braincells. Why would he denounce himself unless it was to get out of his duties to the Commissar. We (the Party) know how the good Commissar can be a stern taskmaster, and his penchant for having everything "just so" and done yesterday can wreck havoc on the most industrious prole. A few days at the KMTC should bring him back to us, and let him resume his task with firm resolve. .

Actually Commissar Che Gourmet, there may well be a very good reason for Comrade Radnosvitch to have denounded himself. He could be merely following a shining example to the Love of Party that some have....

Marshal Pupovitch,

After carefully reading your "shining example",how could anyone believe that you could compare his kowtowing to yours. He is a rank Amateur, and an upstart that never should have received recognition by the Party. He should take his party- issued shovel and shovel his butt back to where he came from(?). I tried, as did SMO, to warn Commissar Theocritis that his behavior did not seem quite right left enough, and that he was nothing but an ambitious but unresponsible bully with zero respect for Party Members much more accomplished than he.
Perhaps he just over-imbibed on his toads and lost his way, but I seriously doubt that.

Hoping the Commissar sees the folly in promoting a toad! I must now excuse myself, as the MTE is speaking on the boob-tube, and I must show my respect.

Che' Gourmet
Uber-Commissar, Chef to the Inner Circle
& Executive Chef (of the soon to be open Lucretia Borgia Peoples Restaurant)

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:

I appeal to Commissar Theocritus and even Chairman Meow to commute any sentence to perhaps a few weeks chopping permafrost and re-education.

I'm up for a pardon. I like to be merciful. But mercy ain't cheap $$$.

Whatcha got, Rad? Jewelry, perhaps? Maybe you have your mother's pearls or perhaps a treasured pocket-watch your father gave to you before he was hauled off to the gulag.

Maybe you have a little can in the cupboard where you and your wife stashed a few rubles so that you can get your children a few used shoes for Solstice. I'm willing to bargain. We do have to pardon one turkey here at the Cube and sentence all the failed Comrades here to death. I would really hate to waste the pardon on a person as opposed to a turkey. PETA would not approve.
Time is running out.

I can hear the Commissar of Untimley Death loading up his pistol.

$$$$$$$$ Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Whaddaya got? $$$$$$

There may be little value to claim, Mr. Chairman. Clearly, from his portrait, his camera is one of those kulak-giveaways for aspiring proles mired in utter hopelessness. It appears from his dress that the good Radsnokovich doesn't get out much, either. Just remember, faithful leader, as the 'finder' of this funding source, I get 20%.

I am encouraged to hear a shovel and warm garments are being prepared for our mentally disturbed comrade. He will find the simple joy of toil for the state to be a fitting reward for his self-deprecating post. It is a win-win-win; Chairman Meow gets his swag (of which I get 20%), the Collective gets x square feet of permafrost chopped per hour, and Rasdnoskovich gets to not die. Pretty good all around...but don't forget the 20% for the faithful Mousey-Tongue!

Yo Cradle, we roll like that. Ifin you wanta bust off some, we got no problem with that. But you betta stay on your side of the hood, my posse got the North side covered good...

YO Pupster, I wanna drive next time!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Che Gourmet wrote:Radnosvitch has been only recently promoted by our most esteemed Commissar Theocritis. He has been charged with the task of writing a syllubus for the new School of Treachery and Toadeating. Perhaps this caused him to "burn out" his few braincells. Why would he denounce himself unless it was to get out of his duties to the Commissar. We (the Party) know how the good Commissar can be a stern taskmaster, and his penchant for having everything "just so" and done yesterday can wreck havoc on the most industrious prole. A few days at the KMTC should bring him back to us, and let him resume his task with firm resolve. .

Actually Commissar Che Gourmet, there may well be a very good reason for Comrade Radnosvitch to have denounded himself. He could be merely following a shining example to the Love of Party that some have....

First, Pup... come on... admit that I denounced myself first... I am a trend-setter, as it is a perfect way to get oneself a week off while Meow tries to fill out the paperwork and by the time he finishes it, no one remembers what it was that brought on the denouncement anyway.... to borrow from C2theG, "this is how we roll."...

I am also glad to see the Gruppenfurer has rethought his swift departure... they always do... and I am especially glad as Theocritus has been quite upset about the entire debacle... that said, Heir Gruppenfurer, if you are to stay in the sandbox, you must learn to play nicely (or at least appear to while also learning the art of backstabbing... it is not as easy as it looks)... and you must not become frustrated and lose your temper. "Biatch" is not a Party approved insult, and we only accept it's usage by the ebonically gifted among us. You would also do well to familiarize yourself with our ways, in order that we may avoid a repeat performance of your stress and guilt induced breakdown. If one aspires to be a leader, one must learn to hold their temper so that when you do retaliate, it will come out of nowhere and enhance your status as a cold-hearted leader, yet one who is wiling to make the effort to correct the behaviour of those who serve the Party, thereby also showing your devotion to the good of the collective... This may appear to be a paradoxical strategy... have no fear, it is, but as leaders we need not explain ourselves... These are things you must learn if you are to one day serve the party as a true leader. You have the qualities necessary, or Theocritus would not have bothered noticing you except to have you re-grout his shower, but your temper, dear Gruppenfurer... you must not let us get under your skin, because only when you can withstand the harsh realities of life in the Party, the constant infighting and backstabbing, all the while smiling at those who would poison you as soon as praise you, and who may well do both, will you have developed the strength to be a leader...

Gruppenfurer... we are glad to see such a promising tool return to the fold... now the great work begins...May I suggest famililarizing yourself with some of the other areas of The Peoples Cube. I fear that in your work for Theocritus, you had no chance to explore the other corners of the Cube... as is geometrically necessary, there are eight of them, although the way between each may contain many twists and turns... and in this way you will have a better sense of when we are testing you in order to gauge your strengths, and when we are simply fucking with you because we can...

And again, remember, dear Gruppenfurer, that revenge is a dish best served cold, as Che will tell you... unless, of course, it is a poisoned meal... as Che will tell you...

Yours in the Cube
Sister Massively Opiated

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00][And again, remember, dear Gruppenfurer, that revenge is a dish best served cold, as Che will tell you... unless, of course, it is a poisoned meal... as Che will tell you...

[/HIGHLIGHT]Yours in the Cube
Sister Massively Opiated[/quote]

Most Magnanimous Sister,

Truer words were never uttered, my dear SMO. Why you even bother with the backstabbing toadlicker......oh well, for the good of the Party.....just let me know when you have exhausted your patience with his ridiculous antics and I will .....hmmm.....now where is that recipe for Monkey Brain soup?.....Wolfgang...step to it man...The Sister might be needing a To Go order soon.....yeah I think some nice sourdough bread to soak up the brains would be a nice addition....good work, comrade! Probably be good for her....no you idiot, she doesn't get any poison....smacks him with a mallet on the head.....

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:YO Pupster, I wanna drive next time!

I love the Ying Yang picture. It would make an excellent poster.

Comrade General Cat did do an eggselent job with the ying yang. It's the first time I was proud to be portrayed in the company with a cat beast.

The only explanation for me missing this is that I had just had a major tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo. I do apologize, Grüppenfürer Radnoskovich--you must have thought me very mean and snooty, even for a Commissar, which is saying something. I'm glad that I live in the desert with no rain; otherwise I would drown.

What bothers me most though is that I missed <i>my</i> cut of this. I mean, all this posturing takes some serious swag, you know. I need good Commissar bling. Pinkie may be happy with a simple shovel although I'm told she has secretly gotten a carbon-fiber handle to give her that extra oomph when she swings it. But I need cash.

Do you know just how expensive it is to run a house with Bruno in it? Painting the walls to get rid of the makeup smears alone keeps the local paint department at Wally World open.

And the spices and dry rubs for the impalement. The lighter fluid, although Che tells me that no good roast ought to be contaminated with lighter fluid. Well, I take his point. Some impalees are greasy enough that a random spark will light them.

So I think that I'm owed a little of this. Because I'm a progressive.

My dear Commissar Theo,

I am writing with mucho haste, my liege, because I might be discovered at any moment by entities not to be named around the general collective. But I am worried about you that you missed anything having to do with the treasonous Radnoskovitch! Things have been settled with him for a long time (although I do have my suspicions that he is lurking somewhere on the Cube under an alias???) I have to sign off before I am traced to my secret location, but I will try to converse with you on a secret channel (as you can see, I am without my usual high tech equipment, but still functioning, alas covertly) I will send a coded missive soon. Adios, compadre!.....(gallops off into the mist on his beloved steed, Rocinante)

Sadly Commissar. between myself, the Chairman, and others, I fear there is little left for the once fellen comrade to offer you other than his devotion to you and the party, and that is all you can ask isn't it?

However, being the overly kind and compassionate Inner Circle more equal than that I am, I may consider letting you in on a new program that I am starting. It is called Random Act of Taxation. The RAT program is designed as it suggests, we will randomly demand a special tax of random amounts from anyone we randomly choose. This will have the effect of keeping all on their toes, and engender a feeling that all are contributing to the greater good. Of course, when I say random, it is not truly random in that we would never randomly choose certain comrades. Random Acts of Taxation has a bright future Comrade! However, I suspect at some point we may also find some Criminals engage in Random Acts of Protest (RAP). So if you see or hear anyone performing or even listening to RAP, you will know what to do!

Che, so good to hear from you again. I was hoping that you had not fallen into despair because after a hundred days of His O'liness's administration we hadn't started reeducation camps for thought criminals. Yet.

Pupovich, I do like your Random Act of Taxation. I like it a <i>lot</i>. But I think that we ought to reify it, to make it incarnate. Do you think that it would be pushing Meow's trademark to call it Fried RAT on a stick?

Theo, wouldn't all of the RATs have to go through Meow's money laundering machine clearinghouse anyway? He probably won't mind as long as he gets his usual cut, and Pup won't mind as long as he can still siphon off the top (which of course he has never ever done or ever would do).

Yeah, well Meow is such a whore that he'll go along with anything as long as he gets his cut. And Pupovich--after his talent-shitting pigeon-monkey-Schumers I'll put itching powder in his flea powder.

I'm getting sick and tired of all this graft passing me by. What does Meow have to support? Some stolen Hummels. What does Pupovich need? Kennel Ration. But me? Theocritus?

I have that goddamned homing queen Bruno.

Now I have an offer for all good comrades. I, Commissar Theocritus, do hereby offer Bruno to any party, along with his wardrobe, to anyone who will take him. I will pay the current credit-card bills, and I will even act sad as leaves.

Bruno is a bargain. He can... and he can... and he does know <i>all</i> of Streisand's lyrics, which he can belt out in his <i>basso profundo</i>.

If Bruno can find a happy home somewhere else, I will gladly forgo my cut.

And he's charming. Here he is on the roads of West Texas
Doesn't someone want to take him home? There's money in it.

I denounce Commissar Theocriticus for trying to dump Bruno on an unsuspecting comrade! Shame on you Comrade Commissar!

Forgive me, Comrade Vlad, but I assumed you were satisfied with receiving all of the non-party affiliated, KKKapitalist tax cheats for your meat supply. I thought you were already making a bundle off of the Party elites who attend your soirées, meaning that you always get your cut of everybody else's cut anyway. So, the more they steal earn, the more you end up getting in return. Besides, isn't Bruno like a double-dependent tax exemption, which would come in handy assuming you were to ever fall out of favor with The Party(TM) and actually have to pay taxes?

Comrades, was it really necessary to invoke the Chairman's name in relation to my Random Acts of Taxation? I mean, what he doesn't know won't hurt us will it?

Commissar Theocritus, do not whine about what you perceive as having a higher overhead cost than I or the Chairman, it is so unbecoming, and not quite accurate. Sure, the Chairman is too cheap to spend OPM on anything other than himself and riotous living, but I do have more overhead than "Kennel ration" as you suggest. Do you think keeping the Pup's Pleasure Party Houses decorated in the finest linoleum floors, red wallpaper, and the latest paintings on velvet of Elvis and dogs playing poker is cheap? And I hesitate to even mention the costs of cleanup, especially after the DNC hold one of their meetings there. Then you must also remember, I represent all dogs in the collective. I fund efforts to defend the rights of dogs and decent comrades through the Dog Anti-defamation League from the ravages and scandals of the cat beasts wherever they raise their ugly heads. Believe me Commissar, I have only scratched the surface of the needs I have for OPM, for the Common Good™ of course.

Dr. I am really doing very well. It's just in my blood to extort negotiate with Pupovich as much as possible.

Pupovich, <i>your</i> overhead costs? Bruno is a trifle compared to the maintenance of the stakes. Do you know how very expensive it is to pull impaled prole off the stakes and dispose of the carcass? Terribly expensive.

....Bruno! Bruno! Hurry up with that work crew. We need to get that prole all ground up into dog chow and ship it to Louisiana before it rots even more. I found that mixing a little formaldehyde into the ground prole acts as a preservative and gets rid of that off taste. And Pupovich, with his palette dulled by filé powder hasn't noticed the difference.

Theo, you can lower costs by substituting in some of Chairman Mao's Artificial Prole Powder(TM) made from melamine. It will read the same as crude prole protein on the combustion analysis. However, while you can do that, I would never suggest that you actually substitute fake prole into the Marshal's Proles 'n' Bits. You definitely shouldn't do something like that to our beloved Pupovich even though it would save you a whole lot of money, especially since it was NOT, most definitely NOT, the Marshal who was responsible for the repeated talent shit bombardment of your garage door!

No, Dr., I am quite sure it was <i>not</i> Pupovich who was responsible for the talent-shitting on my garage door. But just today I have taken delivery on a new garage door to replace the 35-year-old wooden door. It is metal and lithe, and is covered with Nancyskin, which means that nothing will stick to it. Not even talent shit.

Of course that means when other people in this subdivision go down the alley to get to their garages, their vehicles just...stop...on seeing the Nancyskin garage door. There are two Yukons and a Hummer backed up in the alley with their owners on their phones calling Detroit to get technicians down here. There's not a dealership in Texas which can make them go.

But I don't care. The Nancyskin means that I will never have to deal with Pupovich's talent-shitting pigeons again.

-----

Thanks for the suggestion about gaffing the Proles 'n' Bits. I see little reason to give first-class prole to Pupovich after all he's done for me. I may call off to China for some formaldehyde.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, <i>your</i> overhead costs? Bruno is a trifle compared to the maintenance of the stakes. Do you know how very expensive it is to pull impaled prole off the stakes and dispose of the carcass? Terribly expensive.

Commissar, you really need to start thinking "out of the gulag" so to speak. Lets face it, stakes are not that expensive, it is the removal and disposal of the carcass, and cleaning the pole that costs da? So this is what you do. You simply allow the carcass to "age" a little to make it more difficult for the unsuspecting prole to determine what it really is, then paint it red and spray with a good sealant and voila! Cheap yet attractive advertising displays for the store fronts for your rat on a stick stands. Shoot,.you could even sell them to the Chairman for his franchise. he would never notice the origin.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:However, while you can do that, I would never suggest that you actually substitute fake prole into the Marshal's Proles 'n' Bits. You definitely shouldn't do something like that to our beloved Pupovich even though it would save you a whole lot of money, especially since it was NOT, most definitely NOT, the Marshal who was responsible for the repeated talent shit bombardment of your garage door!

Dr Strangelove, are we doing a bit of DoubleThink™ for the Commissar? After all, we both know how susceptible he is to suggestion. This of course will be his downfall when he realizes that nanobot Jimmy Carter rabbits are not hindered by Nancyskin.....any thing coverd with that will look as good as new..... till the day they simply collapse into a dust pile. Not that I would know anything about this of course.

Pupovich, do you want your Proles 'n' Bits, <i>or not</i>? There are other buyers for Proles 'n' Bits. This is the successor to Soylent Green, you know. And if you <i>want</i> your Proles 'n' Bits, then you must realized that we cannot waste prole matter by letting them just hang around on a stake.

And anyway, it is unsocialist for even a dead prole to do nothing. Ground up into dog food is appropriate work for a prole.

And I think that you misunderestimate the power of Nancyskin. Even the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits (I bow to the redundancy, as I do to "the <i>hoi polloi</i>") are frightened of Nancyskin.

I have also just made a major discovery. I have coated a newspaper with Nancyskin and am using it to train Bruno. It's working. It's a first.

And to think, Comrade Doktor Theocritus, Bruno can freely travel to Britain. What the hell is this world coming to?

Zampolit, it is a common misconception that Bruno can travel freely to Britain. But the British Embassy has told me that he is banned there--they want only one queen who can't dress well at a time.

Comrade Commissar, is it true that Bruno is also Banned in Boston(TM)?

Unfortunately, Colonel, Bruno is banned almost anywhere. I have mentioned that he's a Homing Queen but most major cities actually have a social-services officer detailed for a Bruno watch. When an officer sees someone who might be Bruno, he calls in to the Brunowatch officer, who sounds the alarm.

They get a stretch limo and the cop dresses in chauffeur's togs and they roll up to Bruno.

"Marlene! So long since we've seen you! Step inside. You're wanted at the party."

Bruno, being Bruno, is always gullible and does it no matter how many times the limousine locks the doors from the outside and drives 24/7 to the gates of the Rancho de Rio Grande, where he's dumped unceremoniously on the cattle guard and told, "DON'T COME BACK!"

Comrade Commissar, can you not just feed Bruno to the Trotsky Monsters?

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Commissar, can you not just feed Bruno to the Trotsky Monsters?

And just what do you have against the Trotsky Monsters comrade?

The problem, gentle comrades, is that Bruno is BIG. Huge. And like a planarium worm, if you chop him up, he just grows back. And even worse. The first time that I chopped him up he grew back wanting to be Bette Midler. The second time, Judy Garland. The third time, Babs.

Perhaps the Trotsky Monsters are the only hope...

But what if after eating him, they form into a Trotsky-Bruno Monster hybrid-mutant? Oops! Pupovich, you didn't hear me say that. [runs out the door, arms flailing]

Dr. I think that the only solution to the Bruno problem is to put him in a locked room with Richard Simmons and let the Trotsky monsters eat what's left.


However, if you want to take a kinder view of Richard Simmons with this:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/B_0GblbqfaY&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I laughed so hard I cried and for the first time in my life didn't want to gut him with a dull putty knife.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Commissar, can you not just feed Bruno to the Trotsky Monsters?

And just what do you have against the Trotsky Monsters comrade?

I'm sorry Comrade Marshal. It's just that they piss in my vodka and eat my cookies. And one stole my vz82 pistol. Most annoying. But you are right. They are no different in that regard than Meow, so I shouldn't hold that against them.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:But what if after eating him, they form into a Trotsky-Bruno Monster hybrid-mutant? Oops! Pupovich, you didn't hear me say that. [runs out the door, arms flailing]

Dear Lenin..... here I am being denounced again.....

Go ahead, get it out of your system comrade, otherwise I will surely get it out of your system one way or another.