Image

Comrade Plouffe attributes Woodward slander to senility

User avatar
senile-agitation.jpg
Dear Comrades,

Comrade Commissar David Plouffe, in an act of compassion and courage, has come to the defense of citizen Robert Woodward after the latter made inflammatory and slanderous statements against the Party and Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama.

Comrade Plouffe has publicly stated that citizen Woodward cannot be held accountable for his actions due to his advanced age, which impede his ability to perform the duties of a State journalist within the American Media Collective.

Trying to relate to heterosexual white males that are not part of a recognized Victim Caucus of the Party, Comrade Plouffe likened citizen Woodward to an elderly baseball pitcher, Mike Schmidt, who can no longer play professional sports. Obviously, the analogy helps less educated citizens understand that the work of State journalists requires an ability to recognize facts as interpreted by the Party that the elderly lose over time.

The Party cares for the elderly, who are dependent on the State to make the right decisions for them and guarantee their survival not through family reliance and responsibility, but through the various Social Programs that the State provides.

It is clear that citizen Woodward has entered into the dependent stage and can no longer bear the responsibilities of governance that he once had as a member of the State Media.

We can soon expect that American Media Collective to issue retirement papers to citizen Woodward on the grounds of senility, and potentially rehabilitate him at a later date when the Party can use his services under appropriate supervision.

The Party Defends the elderly!
We salute Comrade Plouffe for his compassion and loyal service to the Party

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

User avatar
Well, Socialism is just the institutionalization of Man so getting shuffled from one nuthouse to another isn't going to make much difference.

User avatar
$.$. Halliburton wrote:Well, Socialism is just the institutionalization of Man so getting shuffled from one nuthouse to another isn't going to make much difference.
My gosh, I can hear Dick Cheney's voice when I read this. It's down right creepy.

User avatar
$.$. Halliburton wrote:Well, Socialism is just the institutionalization of Man so getting shuffled from one nuthouse to another isn't going to make much difference.

Socialism: centuries of institutionalizing Man for his own good!

User avatar
$.$. Halliburton wrote:Well, Socialism is just the institutionalization of Man so getting shuffled from one nuthouse to another isn't going to make much difference.


As the compassionate directrix of the Ministry of Love ™, Comrade Halliburton, I can assure you that getting "shuffled" from one nuthouse to another DOES make a difference.The next time you are to be shuffled to a nuthouse, make sure it carries the Seal of Approval from the Ministry of Love ™, whose laborers ensure that each nuthouse (or insane asylum, as we like to call them now-a-days) has adequate facilities for lobotomies, secure rooms, mechanical restraints and chemical restraints (fancy words for handcuffs and medication), wards that promote socialization (eg no private rooms) and nice crafts for the patients to make.

You may hear an ugly rumor that Ministry of Love asylums perform shock therapy, or ECT. As a matter of fact, the modern, unipolar method of ECT has actually been scientifically proven to treat depression, and since the Dear Leader knows better than the scientists, we do not, in fact, use it.

Remember....just look for the Union Labile! er, Label!

User avatar
Princess Nookie wrote:....(fancy words for handcuffs and medication)
....
So, where does one sign up?

User avatar
No need to sign up comrade. I'm sure the Director of Korrekt Internet Expression will be picking us all up personally.


 
POST REPLY