Laws are harming Rahm's personal agenda!

Dear Comrades,

I am afriad I must bring more bad news. Some reichwinger, bigoted judges in the Illinois Appellate Court, has overturned the decision that Raham Emanuel is eligible to run for Checagho. . . Shec . . . Chicago Mayor.
We must get the names of these judges and picket their homes, harass their wives & children and in all ways make known that we disapprove of their poppycocked decision.

Laws are law except when they stand in the way of Progressive progress! So, loyal Democrats comrades, contact all your Union comrades and spread the news for picketing assistance. We need all the help we can muster to overturn this foolishness idea of upholding residency requirements.
 

Fraulein Pulloskies

Dear Comrades,

I am afriad I must bring more bad news. Some reichwinger, bigoted judges in the Illinois Appellate Court, has overturned the decision that Raham Emanuel is eligible to run for Checagho. . . Shec . . . Chicago Mayor.

rahm.jpg

THIS MAN MUST BE HEAD OF MAYOR OF CHICAGO!

We must get the names of these judges and picket their homes, harass their wives & children and in all ways make known that we disapprove of their poppycocked decision.

Laws are law except when they stand in the way of Progressive progress! So, loyal Democrats comrades, contact all your Union comrades and spread the news for picketing assistance. We need all the help we can muster to overturn this foolishness idea of upholding residency requirements.
Create a crisis of some kind for Rham! He'll know how to use it! I'm sure that judge needs to be removed for some fabricated reason!
 

Have no fear, Comrades,


I'm planning to pay a surprise visit to the Illinois Supreme Court Justices who will soon hear my appeal from the appellate-court idiots who ruled against me. I'll explain to the "Supremes" that when they get to court, if they bring tongues speaking against me, I'll bring scissors.




--Thought Crime Warden.
 

INGSOC

.....
Create a crisis of some kind for Rham! He'll know how to use it! I'm sure that judge needs to be removed for some fabricated reason!

This is a lovely idea. I will calll ... will have Buffoon call 911, the FBI and Harry Reid to report the attempted shooting of another Democrat by someone wearing a T-Party Tshirt and a white hood. This should gets things moving in the right direction. Then Rahm can take the stage and ramble speak of how he will find the evil doer.

Thank you Thought-Crime Warden. If it were not for brave comrades of your sort, we would have no brave comrades of your sort.
 

These judges didn't play with the team. They deserve to get...whacked.


Know what I mean?
 

And we know Obama. . .*&%$#!! I mean, ... Pelosi is the Whacker in Chief, do we not?!
 

Fraulein Pulloskies

Dear Comrades,

I am afriad I must bring more bad news. Some reichwinger, bigoted judges in the Illinois Appellate Court, has overturned the decision that Raham Emanuel is eligible to run for Checagho. . . Shec . . . Chicago Mayor.

Fraulein,

It's CHIKAGO. "Reichwinger, bigoted judges"?? In Illinoize?? Surely this is an unintended oxymoron, or faux pas by the name of "Shirley U. Jest". We are talking about the PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF ILLINOIZE. There is NO "Reichwing" anything here.

What we have here in the wonderous Land of Corruption, is a simple misunderstanding: Rahm simply hasn't paid all his... "bills" with his $10mil "campaign contributions. Also Rahm-bo is very confident the Supreme Court will overturn this ruling. Here in the Land of Corruption, having such confidence is a byproduct of being more "equal" than everyone else—$10mil "more equal"... if you catch my meaning; if you catch my drift.
 

What sort of idiot would define "reside" as where you eat and sleep? I mean Hillary barely ever set foot in NY and she got to be their Senator.

Next some asshat will claim you have to be a natural born citizen to be President.
 

Listening to the anti-collectivist 890 AM Don-Wade-Roma, I too am in group mourning for Comrade Emanuel's recent bump in the road.



 

Comrade Whoopie,

Team Rahm-bo is trying really hard to get around such annoyances and inconveniences as "rules and regulations". His stunning "proof" that he is a legitimate resident of Chikago is this:

Emanuel testified he and his wife, Amy Rule, kept many family heirlooms stored in the home’s basement, including Ms. Rule’s wedding dress, family china, and a leather jacket once belonging to Emanuel’s grandfather. Mee Kim-Chavez, a family friend, testified she helped Rule box up the items and store them in a crawl space. This, Emanuel's legal team says, shows he never intended to abandon the premises permanently.

See? Case closed.
 

What's all the fuss, just put his name back on the ballot. We're talking Chicago here, not some place where they have "laws" and such.

After all, look at all the Chicago voters in the cemeteries, it's not like they live in Chicago either, but they vote!
 

Comrades, it's time to spread a little anarchy. Just what our protesters do best if I may say.
 

Oh yes, now I see more clearly, Comarde Whinny-da-PBUH, although I hate to pass up an opportunity to blame the right for what they should be blamed for - corruption & correctedness. (the lame main stream media should have jumped on this!) But I am sure Rahm will pay off make donations to the right correct people and be on the ballot. And by the time all the dead peoples vote, he will surely win, nevertheless. (BTW, THIS IS JUST A PRIVATE CONVERSATION WHICH IS NEVER TO LEAVE THE CUBE, CORRECT?)
 

I expect that even as we speak SEIU trash collectors are rummaging through the garbage cans of every Ill. State Supreme Court judge looking for anything that could be used to blackmail sway their vote in Rahm's favor.

That is assuming we don't already have them all on the hook one way or the other.

(say, I bet if Rahm sent each of them a tasty fish head as a gift...hmmmm)
 

We have been successful comrades! The democrats in the Ill. supremest court have said, "well, of course you can run. Laws are not for you to obey".
I love when a plan comes together.

Now comrades, pick up your pitch forks from in front of their houses but Faux News shows up.
 

Well now Frau, they only said the election commission had to include his name on the ballot while they consider if he meets residency requirements.

I'm certain they'll find some way to bend the rules.

(if they know what's good for them)
 

Commissar_Elliott

Comrades, it's time to spread a little anarchy. Just what our protesters do best if I may say.
Well said, comrade! Let the irrelevant lower courts dawdle in their insignificance, our reliable plants on the state Supreme Court have ensured the people of Chicago will continue to be represented by progressives.
 

Comrade General Furball! What a pleasure it is to see your smiling and toothy face about the collective again. Tell me, how was your holiday? Did you receive the Coelacanth caviar I sent you for Winter Solstice?
 

There's a valuable lesson from the Rahm-bo to be learned in all this: Laws in IL are simply a brummagem display of gratuitousness only meant for the lesser of the equals. Just as we have the Current Truth™, in IL we also have the Current Law™.

But when you can wield a steak knife like the Rahm-bo and stab it hard into the table crying out "DEATH!" to your opponents, or send them a Fishhead-in-a-Boxgram™, then you too can be like Rahm-bo, only recognizing laws for their political expediency.
 

General Mousey-Tongue

Commissar_Elliott

Comrades, it's time to spread a little anarchy. Just what our protesters do best if I may say.
Well said, comrade! Let the irrelevant lower courts dawdle in their insignificance, our reliable plants on the state Supreme Court have ensured the people of Chicago will continue to be represented by progressives.
Sounds just as progressive as Minnesota.
 

Colonel 7.62

Comrade General Furball! What a pleasure it is to see your smiling and toothy face about the collective again. Tell me, how was your holiday? Did you receive the Coelacanth caviar I sent you for Winter Solstice?
My dear Commissar, the caviar was most appreciated! My absence was actually only part pleasure, I completed an extended assignment performing a purge of NPR to ensure its continued political reliability. Occasionally, they were allowing content that was somewhat balanced in its ideology, which is thoughtcrime. We have taken steps to ensure their continued contribution to groupthink ™.

To be as progressive as Minnesota, Comrade Elliott, is a most worthy goal. The people who have given the collective the likes of Comrades Franken and Ventura are delightfully unpredictable in their judgment. Who's next, Mickey Mouse? What a delicious, tantalizing possibility...
 

General Mousey-Tongue, I am sure I feel most honored to have a certified Peoples General sharing his esteemed thoughts on the irrelevance of these lower courts. We know, after all, it is the elite upper higher supreme where all the big money changes hands.
 

Jon Stewpid Stewart was mocking the criminality of Chicago last night and even suggested that the city is so corrupt we should save the bother of an election and simply appoint Rahm the Mayor.

I hope he wasn't being sarcastic because I think that's a very progressive idea.

With the ground hard frozen I think it would be difficult digging up the necessary necro-proxy voters.
 

With the proper enticement (such as a gun to the back), the proletariat can dig through the thickest permafrost.

And Jon Stewart is never, ever sarcastic or funny.
 

Comrade Whoopie

Jon Stewpid Stewart was mocking the criminality of Chicago last night and even suggested that the city is so corrupt we should save the bother of an election and simply appoint Rahm the Mayor.

I hope he wasn't being sarcastic because I think that's a very progressive idea.

With the ground hard frozen I think it would be difficult digging up the necessary necro-proxy voters.

Well, of course, that is what should be done and being that it is the Peoples Republic of Illinois I can imagine that it would be done. But with so many reichwingers waving their tea bags all over the country, I am afraid they are afraid so be as progressive as they need to be.
But, tisk, foolish me! Have we forgotten who counts the votes! ah yes, we can rest easy and buy our free Rahm inauguration tickets.
 

General Mousey-Tongue

To be as progressive as Minnesota, Comrade Elliott, is a most worthy goal. The people who have given the collective the likes of Comrades Franken and Ventura are delightfully unpredictable in their judgment. Who's next, Mickey Mouse? What a delicious, tantalizing possibility...
I'd bet we'd be more app to sending the body of Paul Wellstone then Mickey Mouse, and I hate to disappoint you General. It would be either him, or our new governor Mark Dayton (which wouldn't surprise me given the folks here).
 

Thought-Crime Warden

Have no fear, Comrades,


I'm planning to pay a surprise visit to the Illinois Supreme Court Justices who will soon hear my appeal from the appellate-court idiots who ruled against me. I'll explain to the "Supremes" that when they get to court, if they bring tongues speaking against me, I'll bring scissors.




--Thought Crime Warden.

Rejoice, Comrades! I'm quoting myself because my prediction just came true: FoxNews Special Report just reported (circa 18:15 on January 27, 2011) that the Illinois Supreme Court has now put my name back onto the ballot. And now (circa 18:00) the Chicago Tribune has just confirmed the report. It just proves that tongues fear scissors more than paper and more than scissors fear rocks.

--Thought-Crime Warden
 

Fearless Leader, my second question is, what were you doing, watching Fox News? Was this part of some reichwing torture regiment?
 

Fraulein Pulloskies

Fearless Leader, my second question is, what were you doing, watching Fox News? Was this part of some reichwing torture regiment?


Frau,

It looks like somehow Fearless Leader temporarily took over the body of Thought-Crime Warden, and I had always thought the control mechanism was vice-versa since Thought-Crime Warden had a longer resume of practicing the "Chicago Way" than does Fearless Leader.

Maybe there was a hacker or even just a hack.

It's a good thing you noticed this bizarre situation, otherwise Fearless Leader might continue snatching the body of Thought-Crime Warden. Plus, you also have the incriminating admission that at least one of them (Fearless Leader or Thought-Crime Warden) must have been watching FoxNews, but I'm sure it was for the Greater Good that one or both of them was monitoring the enemy adversary competitor FauxNews Network.


--KOOK
 

"Maybe there was a hacker or even just a hack. "

That is what I was thinking too. Much like what some of the reichwingers say our dear Leader... that he has been hacked or "possessed" by some demon personality.
 

Rahm-bo's coronation ceremony will begin shortly. The Illinoize Supreme Joke Court has ruled that Rahm-bo INTENDED to move back to Chikago. All current laws, and precedents, on the books are now null and void. The letter of the law has been supplanted by whatever the INTENT is of the defendant.

No worries, comrades. All is well in the Land of Corruption Lin-KKK-oln, as we assume the position for the new Thug Mayor of Chikago to take his rightful place with steak knife in hand ready to stab a table near you. Be ready to hear some "speaking in tongues", as Rahm-bo teaches us all the finer points of cathartic CIVILITY with a new vocabulary of words never before uttered by a human.
 

Comrades, our friends in Chicago are who gave us and the world The Dear Leader, Barack Obama! May the gods see to it they are repaid properly for this act.
 

Opiate of the People

Comrades, our friends in Chicago are who gave us and the world The Dear Leader, Barack Obama! May the gods see to it they are repaid properly for this act.

That would be "Barack—HUSSEIN—Obama". I believe the 'gods' have seen it proper to reward the denizens of Chikago with a new Leader for Life: Rahm-bo The Stabber.
 

Yes, Rahm is to Chicago, like anchovies are to a Chicago style pizza. No, wait a minute, I actually like anchovies.
 

Ground control to Mayor Rahm,
commencing countdown engines on....
 

Rahm is to Chicago as Al Capone was to Cicero.