Comrades,

Been busy in the galley whipping up my latest original creation for prole dinning pleasure.




After chowing down, why not take just a few minutes and take a poll as to what you thought of my latest "lovin from the oven" dish.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Comrades,

Been busy in the galley whipping up my latest original creation for prole dinning pleasure.

After chowing down, why not take just a few minutes and take a poll as to what you thought of my latest "lovin from the oven" dish.

I don't know if I told you guys this, but I spent 2 years at an Alaska huntin and fishin lodge putting it back together and operating it after the Senator bought it in 1988.

One of the numerous "must do duties" was the barrels of fish guts HAD to go to the dump EVERY NIGHT.

See, fish guts and fish heads have a tendency to ferment really quickly. Even dumping the barrels every night wasn't quite soon enough.

Believe me, dumping 5 barrels of fish guts at least once a day will turn you into a vegetarian. And dang sure destroy your taste for Salmon.

So for me, this dish out-does Haggis.

Commodore,

These meals are amazing! And you've certainly been keeping your culinary skills hidden very well. However, I must respectfully inquire as to where one, shall we say accommodates, the rations needed to create these obviously non-prog decadent culinary creations? Not to mention the quanity of rations needed as well. While there is a certain amount of artistry present there is little value added to the lives of fellow gulag commune dwellers for these extravagant meals.

Please expect a visit from the proper authorities to resolve this pressing issue. I hope you kept all your reciepts as I wouldn't want you to be accused of aquiring any of "your rations" by bribery i.e. Father Prog Theocritus, or via black market i.e. "Lenika".

Respectully submitted

Groucho Marxist

P.S. I do just love those Jello molds. No doubt those are made from old boots and shell casings.

These meals are amazing! And you've certainly been keeping your culinary skills hidden very well. However, I must respectfully inquire as to where one, shall we say accommodates, the rations needed to create these obviously non-prog decadent culinary creations? Not to mention the quanity of rations needed as well.

Groucho Marxist,

My funding and stores supply comes entirely from other peoples money (OPM) as the masses, who are now ever so grateful, can now revel in my culinary brilliance. The mere thought that I would actually open a galley and serve a meal that people would voluntarily pay money for goes against all 5 year plans and party mandates. My only goal is endearing that the "common good" is taken care of and it is all for "the children" and that other folks pay for it.

Now Groucho how about some seconds of this lovely Salmon Salad Stack? You did notice that you don't have to squeeze any lemons on the fish....I included that in the lemon gelaten I encased it with.

Tasty meals made with good people's grown beets ! Just like Nanna Babushka used to make

I don't know Commodore, this culinary festivus of yours may end badly. Che Gourmet has a history of quickly dealing with dissidents in the Collective's Kitchen. Those twin Ivory handled 45's are not worn as a fashion statement. On the other hand it is nice to see such variety in the Galley.

I have an idea: " The Commodore's Cathartic Cookbook "

Krasnodar wrote:I have an idea: " The Commodore's Cathartic Cookbook "

The galley is open at both ends

I'm reminded of the motto of the 82nd Airborne mess hall...

Comrades,

Will "Cooking with the Commodore" be held in the vicinity of a commode, in case certain internalized actions are put on a fast track to the lowest exit?

Groucho Marxist wrote:

Krasnodar wrote:I have an idea: " The Commodore's Cathartic Cookbook "

The galley is open at both ends

Toot - Toot ......... Here comes the gravy train !

Forgive me comrades, but I must place this culinary yuckiness in my "do not want" category!

Also, I grew lazy and couldn't identify the Pepto-Bismol font! Any help?


NOTE: Snoogie Woogum's disgusting jello dish appears to be stronger than Rep. Darryl Issa'a spine.

Good news for us!

Commodore, your creations not only exhibit unique combinations of tastes (and odors) but the presentations are also extraordinarily interesting. After staring at the Lemony Jello Salmon Tower for a few seconds, I could swear it looks like someone I met at the Rally to Restore Sanity last fall. I've been trying to email and call him for awhile but it seems like no one has seen him around lately. Probably just a coincidence.

Komrade Double D, the Holly Ring Mold formula recipe states that it will serve 6 workers. I dare say this is an understatement; it sounds so filling, I'd wager that a little goes a long way and that ring will serve several thousand hungry proles. Maybe more. And it would look stunning with a bunch of candles in it for Obama's birthday.

Comrade Buffoon,
Closest I came to a font was Avant Garde Md BT. Still needed a little modification though:

Komrade Double D

Why what a wondrous addition to the peoples plate. I must admit it was sure brilliance in the addition of horseradish in the jello mold. And the cottage cheese center, well nothing screams fine dining then putting cottage cheese and jello in the same presentation!

Jello, Horseradish, Cottage Cheese.......A triple winner!!!!!!!

Man you can bet the grateful collective is going to see an Original Commodore's cooking messterpiece in the future using those base ingredients!

Grigori E.R.

Oh no worries about Che Gourmet and those 45's he's sporting, those are just his salad shooters.

Ahh....I see the poll is going very well!

I was afraid I might have a few negative votes on the dish as I did spare the use of the salt a bit. But to see that most folks are just so much in awe that they are speechless after a preview and a taste........ I'm humbled..........But also inspired!!!!!!!!

Comrades you have filled me with Socialistic passion again....Yes We Can, Yes We Can!

Just think of all the scrumptious goodies that will soon be on the menu in the future!!!!!. As a matter of fact my shipment of beef tongue has just arrived from Collective Farm 347 and I already have an idea that will give your stomach a future treat that I think will even top this one!

In the meantime, go ahead and help yourselves to some seconds or even thirds of the Lemony Salmon Stack........I know you all don't want to offend the Galley by being thought of as a "capitalist pig" and eating big portions and it is appreciated in the full socialist sense, but go ahead grab some more as it seems there is still plenty to go around after the first bites were taken. And if you need a doggie bag feel free to ask as I'm sure your mutt would also fall in love with this delectable delight.

To all comrades reading this now..... the letterstyle of the Pepto-Bismol ad is a modified version of " Antique Olive - Compact ", in which the stems have an extended height above baseline.

Krasnodar remembers Letraset and Chartpak.

Commodore.....ever try this ?

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Deleted because I would rather have had my next entry here.

Krasnodar wrote:Commodore.....ever try this ?

The attachment Veg-a-mite.jpg is no longer available

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For some reason the Vegemite label reminds me of eating crayons. Mmmmm.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums
I bask in your praise of the fine messterpiece concocted by Nana Babushka ! Perhaps I shall post some of her other "fine" recipes........

Rosy Red Square Salad
1 Envelope Unflavored Gelatin
1-1/4 c Water
1/4 c Sugar
1/4 c Vinegar
1/2 t Salt (or to taste)
2 c Finely Shredded Red Cabbage
1 c Chopped Celery
In medium saucepan, soften gelatin in 2 tablespoons of the water; let stand 1 minute. Add rest of water and, over low heat, cook until gelatin dissolves. Add sugar, vinegar and salt; stir until sugar dissolves. Chill until partially set. Fold in remaining ingredients and chill 3 hours or overnight[/b] This helped to fuel the Peoples Army in more ways than one !!!! (Pass the Peoples Bismol)

My Dear Commodore,

Well, it seems like you have my attention (I am so busy these days, although my top secret missions are none of the general collective's business), and that's not necessarily, a good thing....


First, I will address your poll: Why is there no option for "What's this puke dong on the table?"

Second and more importantly, why was the proper paperwork not filled out in triplicate, of course, and the appropriate signatures obtained? (Mine being the most important, as I am the head honcho of all things culinary for the collective, as well as the Executive Chef of the Inner Circle)

And third, and most importantly, I must DENOUNCE you (I'm below my quota) for this outrageous, and certainly flagrant violation of protocol!

You are to report to the Party Headquarters, immediately!! My new Sous Chef, Ludmilya (who is also my personal bodyguard) will give you the required forms. Then we shall have a meeting with the Politburo to decide your punishment.

Comrade Snoogie, if only you had gone through the correct PC channels, this little amusement for the proles would have been a good idea....... Now I would venture that you will be eating your gaseous gastronomic creations in the re-education camp (if you're lucky, of your choice),smacking the nearest kitchen prole in the back of the head.... then fondling the handles of his pistolas.....and spitting in the soup on his way out the kitchen door......LUDMILYA, get me Red Star on the Party's private channel...I need to talk to him, NOW!

Che' Gourmet
Uber-Commissar of Foodservice
Executive Chef to the Inner Circle
Ambassador to the New Latin States of America (Dear Leader was not mis-speaking when he said there were 57 states?) LOL

PS: About my 45's being salad shooters........if you like lead in your belly, then I'd be more than happy to show you how they work, comrrrrade!

Che Gourmet

Good to finally hear from you. I would never think to infringe on your territory as the top Culinary dog in the collective. Why, Che that would indicate some sort of competition between us.

My humble delving into the culinary arts was only to enhance socialist cooperation between us, as you have freely admitted you've have been busy on other official Party Business good to see you finally sober again after your trip to Thailand and the proles well they were HUNGRY. I only saw a business opportunity need that I in the finest tradition of socialist caring, humbly offered my Galley service to fill in for during your most conspicious long absence.

It is with heavy heart that instead of showing fraternal socialist gratitude toward my unselfish endeavors for the common culinary good and of course "for the children" that I see you have put forth a Denouncement instead.

Of course, I will humbly submit the correct forms to your Sous Chef, Ludmilya however since taking over as head Chef in the super popular coolest place to eat now if your a party member The People's Galley, my schedule prohibits me from delivering in person. If you'll kindly send Ludmilya over to my Galley so I could give him a job offer as my new Sous Chef, pretty sure I can beat whatever pittance you've been paying him I'll fill them out post haste.

Again good to see you back and hope that this little miss-understanding is soon behind us. By the way do have any extra tables that aren't being used much lately in your eating establishment? I'm running out of space to seat all my patrons and could use them, if of course that wouldn't impact on your fine food operation you've got going there.

All In Socialist Solidarity!

Your Comrade,

Snoogie Woogums

Commodore, I would like to hire you as my private chef, do you take bread crumbs as payment? Or would you like grains of dirt that you can have exchanged into bread crumbs?

Mr. Adam Smith,

Why looking at your Avatar I would love to have you come over for a little visit in my Galley kitchen to discuss this!!!!!!!!! How about for about 3 hours of your time at 350 degrees should do it.

Do you really think I will lower myself to setting foot in your lower class abode? Now I already had my Slaves to Capitalism make room in the trunk of my golden limo (even that could be embarrassing if the other tycoons discovered you rode in my golden limo at all) so are you in or out? Or do I need to copyright your dishes and then steal them without your assistance?

Mr. Adam Smith wrote:Do you really think I will lower myself to setting foot in your lower class abode? Now I already had my Slaves to Capitalism make room in the trunk of my golden limo (even that could be embarrassing if the other tycoons discovered you rode in my golden limo at all) so are you in or out? Or do I need to copyright your dishes and then steal them without your assistance?

I'm OUT, OUT, OUT......you'll never turn me over to, "The Dark meat Side"!!!!!!

Now where was I....oh yes, my new order of politically correct hot sauce has just come in! It'll make a nice addition to the other condimenties on the tables.

Commodore said (on another thread)
Yes, it is sad to see a member of my cooking peer group have to bow down to a so called amateur in the fine culinary arts. It was with heavy heart that my culinary creations, which was just a hobby, as upsurped Che's life long expertise in feeding the masses.

I'm sure maybe in the future we can work this this out.... A possible cook off perhaps between us? I have lot's more scrumptious stuff that your typical prole would love to stuff or stick his or her fork into.

Commodore Snoogie,

Che bows down to no one....(exceptions being those of long-standing, more equal than even I, members of the Inner Party), comrade!

But, as I see that from previous threads that you have been trying so hard to capture my attention for such a long time, and that you really do have such a talent for producing putrid crap...for the proles, of course, and not for the Party Elite, I will gladly turn over the duties of The People's Hell's Kitchen to you (thank you Stalin, for getting me out of that cesspool) leaving me free to pursue other more important obligations for the Party.

Unfortunately, there are no tables, period, down at the kitchen, as I had to burn them in the last cold spell (we got 50 plus inches up here in Upstate NY). As for Ludmilya, she is not negotiable, nor would she leave me, ever! Ludmilya is my paramour, as well as my Sous Chef and bodyguard. Check out her skills on the following thread:..... Oh Hell, I can't find it at the moment and I'm out the door on another important mission......there are just not enough hours in the day when you are in the Party, don't you agree?

As for your buggingneedling me about a cooking competition, that will have to be decided by the great and only Director of the Collective, Red Square. He has the final say, always.

I, as all good PC correct Made Progs must do, have submitted the paperwork, in triplicate, of course, to have signed (even I, can't sign this form, since I am the one submitting it) to proceed with your preposterous wish to have a "cookoff".

Indeed comrade, maybe this is just what Lenin would order to start the New Year off with a big bang. You should meet me at the People's Pub for a meeting to discuss the details. I'll even buy (w/OPM, of course, LOL) the first round.

Commodore, surely, you do understand that I am sometimes, just a bit hotheaded. I'm afraid it's in my Latin blood. I will take back my hasty Denouncement of you (but you had better fill out that paperwork, pronto). You are actually doing me a great favor, comrade.

Leaving you, for now, in the progressive spirit of bi-partisan co-operation,

Che' Gourmet

I propose an Iron Curtain Chef cookoff. I have just the guest judge along with the surprise ingredient.

I think the Commodore should pay a guest visit to Helen's new show.