Dear Laika,

The Progressive World of This Coming Tuesday, November 4^th, will not arrive if you let the Party down in Bitterclinger Land. Don't let us down, Laika. Don't let Jack Murtha down. And most importantly, don't let the Party down.

Do everything you can to ensure a Party victory for us in merry ole' Pennsylvania and I'll do everything to ensure a victory here in the People's Commonwealth of Virginia.

Your Comrade,

Meow S. Punchenko

Chairman Punchenko, I am of broken heart and spirit that I have to confess to failure. I went to vote Monday, After being seen to the front of the line as I deserve, I showed the required Party card and was then given what looked like a credit card. This was my first experience with electronic voting, I sort of liked the old way... a huge hulking machine with levers that when flipped made this "cha-ching" sound that made you feel secure your vote was cast...or that the transmission just fell out.

I entered the Holy of Holies where there were several Voting Idols to choose from to pay homage. Again I was disappointed in that the old voting machines had nearly full length curtains so I could feel free to get naked and... well, you know what sort of things can go on between a progressive man and his machine on election day. On this day I was provided this nearly tea towel sized curtain that barely covered one's vote - though I suppose this is a good thing to catch the McInsane voters.

I inserted my card into the slot and wiped my face with the curtain, barely able to contain my excitement to do my part to bring on The World of Next Tueday! The screen came to life and there was the name above all names! I was pleased to see the Obama at the top of the list. I was wondering if the rethuglicans were going to be given equal billing at the top. Repeatedly screaming "Oh my godlessness" at the top of my voice, barely able to catch my breath before passing out from the waves of relief that gushed out from every part of my body, and I do mean every part, I cast what should be the last vote ever needed!

I came to surrounded by Election aides that had responded to my natural response to my vote. It was With some embarrassment at the stain spreading on my clothes that I told them "Thanks Comrades" as they helped me up off the floor. "So, where do you wish me to vote again?" I asked and was stunned when they told me I was only allowed to vote once! Then I figured that was just a routine they had to go through on an official basis so I told them "Oh yes Comrades, that was the correct thing to say, but seriously, I have much to do and little time, so where do I go vote again?" This only seemed to make them more irritated and they began to physically direct me out of the area. I told the impudent prole "Comrade, don't you know I am an important member of the Inner Circle, that I am a friend and confidant of Chairman Punchenko?" Chairman, I do not know the whole story, but the mere mention of your name sent these scoundrels into a fit of blood rage! They started yelling something about a deflowered voting machine and body fluids and began to call for the police. Thinking quickly, I pulled out my cigrarettes and threw them and some Peoples Potato Vodka vouchers on the floor toward the line of would be voters. This caused a stampede and in the chaos, I was able to pull myself from the grasp of the poll workers with a huge assist from my walking cane over their head, and made my escape!

But Chairman, Comrades, I am sorry! I did my best! I heard on the radio that very day that it appears Louisiana will go McInsane by double digits.

It is not MY FAULT! It is Biden's...Bush's fault!

Greetings Comrade Marshall Pupovich, Comrade, do not despair, I had much the same experience. When I entered the peoples voting collective #15873245 I despaired at the small machines that were there. I inquired quite politely to one of the commissars who was stationed there as to the lack of privacy, and he replied that this was the norm. Imagine my horror. I began to suspect that perhaps that things were not as they seemed and asked for the district Zampolit. The official replied that there was no Zampolit and furthermore he asked for my papers. I must confess comrades that at this time the water flowed. I knew something was afoot and I was standing in it. As I looked about , I noticed that the people were gaily dressed and laughing and joking amongst themselves. Several of the people were staring at me. That is when I lost control of another bodily function. Comrades, I must confess that I beat a hasty retreat without even being able to cast my vote for the one. Walking back to the peoples collective was quite.............well you can imagine for yourselves.

Fear not though comrades, tomorrow with clean shorts and pants I shall proceed to another voting area where I hope to do my best for the "one" and Joe the Biden. I promise to do all that I can to insure that the Peoples Republic of Georgia, located in the south east quadrant of the peoples republic of the Obama shall remain firmly entrenched for the One.

I am VERY confused Comrades....

What are these implored declarations for something called "voting"? What is this "voting"?

You make it sound like people have a choice in picking leaders. What an absurd idea!

I live in People's Democratic Republic of New Jersey (PDRNJ) where our leaders are selected for us by the party leaders and then communicated to us by state propaganda organs The Star Ledger and Bergen Record.

Comrade Corzine has done wonders for our small work collective. He is a financial genius! He has found a way to slow the growth of $34 billion in debt (fourth heaviest debt burden in the nation and by Lenin's inspiration, we will take the number one spot shortly!).

He has determined that the PDRNJ will now tax evil capitalist and oppressively obtained so-called "savings" 401(k) contributions. He wants to tax the contributions so that after your retirement and move to a lower tax jurisdiction like Florida, the PDRNJ will have gotten it's fair share. He reasons that since that New Jersey was such a workers' paradise during your working years, you owe the PDRNJ a contribution for all they did to allow you to work in said workers' paradise. It is kind of like donating money to your alma mater as an alumni - without the complications of individual volition and free will.

Truly, Comrades....it brings a tear to my eye how blessed we are in New Jersey....

Good luck with this "voting" thing you speak of....fortunately, in the PDRNJ, we do not have to deal with such trivial matters....

Comrade Radnoskovich, I thought this posted last night, but apparently it was "redistributed." Your post brought me great comfort, to discover that I was not alone in suffering from "premature voting" problems.

I also tried to mention that I will not hold your Georgia residence against you despite the way your boys embarrassed my beloved LSU Tigers the other day. Sigh... we have no QB to compete after the coach let Periloux go, though I do believe he made the right decision long term given Periloux's baggage.

Comrade Marshall Pupovich, I am truly embarrassed by the University of Georgia football collective. Imagine my horror at the end of the spirited contest when the bulldogs of Georgia did not offer to share in there illegally gained points. The shame is deep comrade. I call upon the party to investigate vigorously, surely a crime against the people was committed.

Enjoy!
Stolen from Right Wing Slander Site

Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

Comrade Radnoskovich. the damage your Georgian football thugs did to my Tiger's psyche is done, there is only the hope for reparations that keep them hanging on. But their day of re-education is coming. It was shocking that they did not share those points equally at the end.

Comrade Marshall Pupovich, rest assured that I have petitioned the Commissar of the Peoples Collective of Athens for redress of shameful display of our thug football squad. The people have roundly critized Field Marshall Richt and I suspect that a re-education camp is in store for him.

I can understand their bruised psyches after their free fall from the contests of the previous season. The unfair treatment that they received from the Peoples Collective Football Florida Gator squad certainly would add to their despair.

There is one hope. since we are still undefeated in our division, that we may still get a rematch with your thugs.

No Irony Here!

We shall stop the Virginia carpetbagger!

Comrade Laika, some would claim that the Obama, being from Chicago, is a carpetbagger. Now surely you are not committing ThoughtCrime™?

Idiot!

The Chairman and I were talking about our friend, Mullah Murtha!

</karacter>

Murtha is running scared.

On the eve of the World of Next Tuesday, I find myself strangely ill at ease Comrade Laika Space Dog. After all. once the revolution is complete, the United Socialist States of Amerika a done deal, the Obama Messiah on the throne, the ocean levels lowered, the world all singing kumbahyah, with no more to do than to sit back and let the state take care of our every need, from where will we be challenged? Other than the need to round up and re-educate or otherwise dispose of those few recalcitrant rethuglicans that will of course be rounded up, what will be left for us to do?