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Dear Leader plans new collective embassy in Britain

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Glorious news Comrades,

Dear Leader has unveiled his plan for a new embassy for the collective. That's right, our influence is now reaching further around the globe. Who knew that The One was an architect too? His awesomeness grows with every revelation of HIM! The new building is an architectural wonder and there is no doubt who was the influence of this wonderfully designed work of art.

"The proposals were met with relief from both the present embassy's Mayfair neighbours and the residents and developers of the Battersea wasteland where the vast crystalline cube, surrounded by a moat, will be built."

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There is only one problem with the plan; the color is all wrong. It should be a glorious shade of People's Red! Someone needs to bring this to the attention of our Dear Leader. I would, but I am a mere party operative and haven't clawed, scratched and murdered my way to leadership yet not as equal as some of our more senior comrades.

I must run, I'm needed back at the morgue. You have no idea how many people do not have voters rights. My work continues.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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[quote="Dr. Chicago"][/font]There is only one problem with the plan; the color is all wrong. It should be a glorious shade of People's Red! Someone needs to bring this to the attention of our Dear Leader. I would, but I am a mere party operative andhaven't clawed, scratched and murdered my way to leadership yetnot as equal as some of our more senior comrades.
I must run, I'm needed back at the morgue. You have no idea how many people do not have voters rights. My work continues.
I remain,
Dr. Chicago[/quote]

Dearglorious fellow operative~
The People's Red it should be, I have no doubt (unless directed otherwise by a superior, then I would have doubts as it pleased our "senior comrades"). I understand your hesitation to bring thisslight flaw oversight idea to the attention of glorious Leader, so might I suggest Comrade Whoopie who appears to have theballsgonadscourage & stoutheartedness to approach The One with a tiny little suggest?
It's sheer beauty, brings a tear to eye......


<img src="https://www.eurotwenty20.eu/dev/D027/as ... munism.png" width="500" border="0" alt="">
p.s. the pool water could be died too!

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Thank you for your kind words and understanding Fraulein. It's reassuring to know that my comrades in the collective will support me at least for now as I endeavor to blackmail, maim and eliminate my opposition help bring about the Glorious World of next Tuesday.

Once more I must get back to my work.
I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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I am most humbly your servant in servitude (like I have a choice, still stuck here in the gulag) to dear Leader. And I must get back to MY work in said gulag . . . I do so with dread & weariness great joy and gratitude, I'm sure, looking forward to those gawdawful dreadful delectable beet TV dinners. (who knew there was such a thing? spit spit)

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Fraulein,
I forgot to mention about how pleased I was with your suggestion of red "dye" in the moat. Very nice touch. Your idea would be quite useful because we'll need to hide the evidence flush out the basement from time to time. The red "dye" story is a great cover will alleviate any fears from the locals.

Duty calls,
I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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It brings a tear to this old socialist's eye to see two young comrades growing in The One Truth. That is the Current Truth, as it was as of 7:00 this morning, when you got up and received it on your Superheterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array Pamela-Anderson-padded tin-foil hat. Please know that Laika, noble space dog, spares no effort to make sure that you are on message and spewing forth the party line.

Please also know that there is no time like the present to start sticking knives into the backs of other people. In fact I have climbed over so many people that I can scamper up a row of knives in someone's back as fast as a monkey can go up a palm tree.

For we are a wondrous people, we progs. Individuals have no responsibility. Groups have all responsibility.

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OH! MY GREAT GULAG GRACIOUS! You are so correct! Praise be Obamaa! A wise idea, I'm sure great Leader & Rham 'the finger' Emmanuel will love! You are a truly a faithful and dutiful servant obviously wise enough to protect your own behind!.



(p.s. sweet fancy Moses!!, I hope me'n mine aren't part of the collective red! *gulag shutters)

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Thank you Commissar,

It is good to know that the work of a lowly party operative does get noticed by those who've "climbed" the collective ladder to achieve the status that you have. I think of the truth as I think of the sands of the Sahara; always shifting and never staying in one place. A true Prog must navigate these sands much like a Bedouin. Never having a home, but with an eye on the horizon. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is on that horizon and a true Prog will pitch their tent on whatever "truth" will achieve that end. Any means is justified.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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Fraulein, you should be proud, yes proud, to do whatever the Party asks of you. It will only be all that you have.

Dr., a very good analogy about the Bedouins.

Now I'm going to ask all of you to get a bit theoretical with me. I've just been inspired by America Left's darling, Mean Mike Malloythe Moaning Moonbat.

There is a world of perfect social justice. It really exists. We can't describe it, but it exists. It's that place that all made progs think about, get misty-eyed, and then sigh. In pleasure.

This world may change every morning at 7 AM. (Or 10 AM if you're a lazy, well-connected made prog like me.) But it's still the perfect world.

And to get to it we will have to do all sorts of things which don't much bear inspection. After all, prog politics is much like making sausage: we don't want to know what goes into either of them.

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Commissar,

One day Mad comrade Mike Moonbat Malloy will no longer be useful and be herded off somewhere never to be heard from again retire. That is the way of the party. You do your part and hopefully survive the purges, killings and blackmail are able to complete your days hopefully without nightmares and paranoia in the satisfaction of doing your duty.

That perfect world does exist in the minds of delusional and twisted people somewhere on the horizon. It is what mankind has yearned for from the very beginning; an equal existence where all needs are provided for by a coercive and authoritarian caring state.

As for making sausage. There are many, like me, who actually enjoy the process. Chopping and grinding meat can be quite therapeutic.

I've enjoyed our chat, but I must get back to the morgue. My work seems to have increased since our Acorn comrades have lost their funding.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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Sausage? SAUSAGE?!

(o m g, does anyone remember Soylent Green!! I've GOT to get out of the gulag!)
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Fraulein, I remember Soylent Green quite well. I cannot in truth recommend it as a food source though--a lot of the people's bodies that it is made from might have high levels of mercury from eating tuna fish out of a can.

Dr. Chicago, if you so enjoy making sausage, may I recommend that you peruse the Grainger catalogue? You can get three-phase garbage grinders. You can throw in two Senators at a time and it won't even burp. Except of course the sausage will kill anything that eats it.

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Fraulein,
Yes, "It's People!"

Commissar,
Have you seen the film Fargo? I find that garden and landscaping implements are more useful in my line of work.

Dr. Chicago

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Yes, "people" . . . subversives and gulag gangs, no doubt. woe is me.

I think Fargo was written by Rahm "the finger" Emmanuel, was it not? He has such an inventive mind.

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I bought the Rancho in 2007 and spent a year redoing it. Enlarging the kitchen, replacing everything. It needed it. It was where sage and burnt orange went to die.

I added a prep sink to the kitchen and both sinks have one-horsepower garbage grinders, and properly plumbed. I thought of <i>Fargo</i> when I ordered them.

The neighborhood is much quieter these days without so many yapping dogs.

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[quote="Commissar Theocritus"]I bought the Rancho in 2007 and spent a year redoing it. Enlarging the kitchen, replacing everything. It needed it. It was where sage and burnt orange went to die.[/font]

I added a prep sink to the kitchen and both sinks have one-horsepower garbage grinders, and properly plumbed. I thought of <i>Fargo</i> when I ordered them.

The neighborhood is much quieter these days without so many yapping dogs.[/quote]

Commis Theocritus! You might have just given me a truly bright idea and grand enlightenment to a continuing problem. I believe a Fargo Garbage Grinder would provide great relief for the gulag gang and the incessant noise we suffer from do to yapping dogs. I will pass along this suggestion to the Gulag Chef and Grounds Keeper.

graciously yours,

the frustrated Fraulein

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It works a treat. <a href="https://gallery.mac.com/daustins#100378 ... 58">Here's my kitchen</a>. Please notice the two sinks and the large island, which is perfect for breaking down the carcasses of loud animals. Both two- and four-legged.

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Dear, dear Commis! What beautiful to behold! It brought a tear to eye (especially after gazing around the gulag). Just beautiful digs (and such a cutie feline, guarding the groundsl) . . . I hope it doesn't outshine Prince Barry abode as I'm not sure that would be pleasing to his royalass highness.

As you can see, the gulag needs just a little work .
<img src="https://aviary.com/images/tutorials/gra ... ffiti1.jpg" width="550">

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Commissar,

It appears that Party leadership has it's perks. And Mission furniture as well. These are more equal digs than the Party supplied dacha in which this humble party operative lives. It's not much, but it's "out of the way".

<img src="https://farm4.flickr.com/3188/293956520 ... 793f_o.jpg" width="500" border="0" alt="">

I must be as diligent as you dear Commissar. One day I will reach Party leadership too. I want so much to "serve" the people and "sacrifice" as you have, for the children of course. The great thing about my line of work is that; I know where the bodies are it is quite satisfying and rewarding. The drawback is that leadership is fearful of me knowing where the bodies are jealous of the skill in which I perform my duties. I only say this now Commissar as I believe that we have struck up a friendship and I trust about as much as I would trust any other bloodthirsty, backstabbing paranoid Prog you.

Fraulein,
I believe that your hard work and diligence will soon find you out of the gulag. I'm sending beets and a double ration of vodka in a care package. Chin up dear, dear Fraulein! You'll be able to shovel faster that way.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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Dr. Chicago, I am so glad that you understand the workings of the Party. Especially your hidden thoughts. Good things come to those who wait. And who stab people in the back.

Fraulein, that animal is Calvin, and his brother Hobbes is not in any of the pictures. Calvin enters a room and expects applause.

This house is Vita Nova. For all of my life I'd lived in everyone else's taste so I decided while I could that I'd live in my own taste, and this is it. (Although the dinette is going to be painted emerald which will look good coming from the eggplant kitchen.) And I have another two sheets of sodalite, the blue rock in the kitchen, for a nice master-bath redo.

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I think I must posses Calvin sister - applause, gratitude, unwavering appreciation for her existence. Sadly, Joyfully, if she were able to vote, I fear think she would be a proud Prog. But, she is a truly lovely creatures, as is cousin Calvin.
Your kitchen is one to be envied and in fear of retribution horror but with some concern I applaud your well earned ability to provide such grand digs for yourself! (but please note, that is NOT the "progressive way")

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<PROGOFF>
Theocritus,
The workmanship displayed in the photos is exceptional. I am a carpenter by trade and really admire craftsmanship. You have a beautiful home and tastefully furnished as well. Enjoy what your labor has provided for you, as that is a free man's right.

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[ off ]Thanks, Fraulein. Cats are progs in that they take what they want, but they're very un-prog because if they don't like you, they'll leave you alone, instead of telling you what's wrong with you and then insisting that you change just for them.

Dr. Chicago, thanks. I didn't do the carpentry, Alex Campos and three others did. Alex is the best finisher that I've ever seen. The cabinets were made by Leo Hinojos of Superior Cabinets in Odessa. I choose the sodalite for the kitchen, which drove everything else. Leo suggested the cherry for the cabinets and I didn't want busy or fancy ones. In person the sodalite, with micah in it, under the halogen lights, is the only thing that you see in the kitchen. But I got all drawers (except under the sinks), which are self-closing and full extension (except under the island because they don't make tracks that long).

I love Alex as a friend, but he nearly made me kill him. There was some water damage to the flagstone in the great room, and he got out his pigments and refinished the part of the flagstone with damage. But by the time he'd applied the marine varnish he insisted on doing all of the flagstone that way--another two weeks' delay, but worth it.

He was very careful. The eggplant (Ralph Lauren color called Hotel) was picking up dirt, so he wanted a clear coat. He didn't like what they had. He made five swatches, and settled on 1/4 paint, 3/4 matte. That sort of detail. It took four people ten months but (1) in West Texas it's affordable and (2) at long last I live in my own taste.

And thanks.

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Theocritus,

You're very fortunate that you've found a contractor who enjoys what he does and has pride in what is accomplished. I've been a carpenter for 23 years and I have watched craftsmanship and skill gradually be replaced by cheap and quick. Get it up as fast as you can and get out of there. It makes me sick because as a builder, I want what I build to last and have enduring usefulness.

The funny thing is, and you'll probably get a huge chuckle out of this, I'm a union carpenter, UBC. I am one of those people who drives leadership crazy because I question everything; a trait by the way, that makes me good at what I do. I've always had strong Libertarian leanings and a huge admiration for those men who founded our system of government.

Anyway, thanks for sharing the photos of your house. Be satisfied that you are able to live surrounded by your tastes. As wrote earlier, a free man has the right to enjoy what his labors have produced. I'm sure that you are a gracious host and your house is a warm place for your visitors. I enjoy your posts on the Cube and the kindness that you show those who post, especially those like me, who are relatively new at creative writing. Speaking of the Cube, it has become my favorite website on the net. Always good for a laugh and the parody and satire are more truthful and enlightening than what passes for news these days.

Thanks again,
I remain,
Dr. Chicago.

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Thank you, Doctor. I was trying to source something for a rant on https://www.jessicaswell.com and came across the Cube in December of 2006 and have been here ever since. Where else could I be this outrageous? And where else could I make up something as ghastly as Bruno? And have that idiot say the words that everyone else should be saying.

VIta Nova has things for the geek too--I ran HDMI and CAT-6 cables all over, and there's enough 802.11(n) WiFi to give you a sunburn. I can sit in my courtyard, control my office iMac with 300GB of ripped music in iTunes with my laptop or iPhone, and surf or blog or bitch.

But that's what I do the most: bitch. I give master classes in it.


 
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