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DNC Chair comes out of Lenin closet

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DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz came out of the Lenin Closet last Thursday in an interview with Chris "Thrill Up My Leg" Matthews. When asked to explain the difference between Socialism and the Democrat Party, the Florida representative could not. She didn't even make an attempt to deny the comparison. As her party's spokesperson, she was also asked by Chuck Todd on Sunday's Meet the Press to enumerate the differences between socialism and the Democrat Party, a question which she again refused to answer.

This ballsy move is being seen by fellow socialists as a courageous act of bravery, on par with that of Bruce Caitlyn Jenner. Openly declaring what she and her party have been hiding for all these years, the DNC chair finally admitted what conscious observers already knew, or strongly suspected. The left-wing party has done a fairly good job of pulling the wool over the eyes of its voters for many years, but with the popularity of openly socialist Senator Bernie Sanders, it has finally found the courage to be honest with them.

This marks a new era for the Democratic Party, who has struggled for years to implement socialist policies while at the same time denying their devotion to that ideology. For the past one hundred years, the Democrats have slowly and steadily led America unwittingly down the glorious path to full blown socialism. Now, at the gates of that Socialist Utopia, the veil has been lifted. Will Americans roll over and hit the snooze button? Will they rise to embrace their totalitarian masters with open arms? Or will they reject the Current Truth and strike a debilitating blow to the socialist Democrats once and for all? The answer to that question lies ahead in 2016.

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Ok, kids, your reward for voting for us is just a little bit farther, around that corner, and through the narrow chute.
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In other news, it has been confirmed that Komrade DWS recently attempted suicide by French kissing a light socket...Image


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Chairperson Wasserman-Schultz was on hand last night to give the Democratic-Socialist rebuttal to the GOP debate from the spin-room backstage. Among other things, she conveyed her sense of confidence that the Republicans shot themselves in the foot because they didn't even talk about how they would embrace socialistic ideals like economic equality for the middle-class, equal pay for equal work, or increasing access to women's healthcare (or in other words: "from each, according to his her ability, to each according to his her need").

She even criticized Jeb Bush for vowing to eliminate sanctuary cities:

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Actually, when Chris Matthews asked her to explain the difference between Progressivism and Socialism, and she could not answer, I actually thought she looked good! For once, she was being honest. Honesty is always a beauty treatment, if you know what I mean. Works every time.

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Kommissar Uberdave wrote:In other news, it has been confirmed that Komrade DWS recently attempted suicide by French kissing a light socket...Image

Nice theory. I don't know if Snopes has weighed in on this one, but I have it on good authority that Debbie's hairdresser is actually a herpetologist:

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