Eau De Gulag: a scent of fear with a hint of soiled overalls

On the heels of men's colognes Hugo and Ernesto, celebrating the lives and odors of two ardent revolutionaries, who each suffered a grotesque and unsightly death, comes Eau De Gulag, combining the delicate smell of despair with a touch of fear & soiled overalls.

Though pricey, it is a must-have for the enlightened lovers of revolutionary chic who crave an authentic Gulag experience on either side of the barbed wire fence.

While not promising to attract the opposite sex, or any other sex for that matter, this novelty cologne will surely complement and enhance your existing CCCP-themed wardrobe.

In case you missed it:

Cuba's biggest producer of natural products has come up with a pair of colognes for the discerning supporter of international socialism who wants something more than just the iconic "Che" T-shirt.

A woodsy and refreshing citric scent with notes of talcum powder called "Ernesto" honors guerrilla leader Ernesto "Che" Guevara. For those seeking something softer and fruitier, there's a blend with hints of mango and papaya called "Hugo," for the late Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

 

Comrade Red Square, perhaps the catch line for advertising print ads should be:

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Eau De Gulag:we make you smell, the way you look.....
 

John Boehner is marketing his own scent as well...
It smells like FEAR with undertone of weakness
 

Perhaps a series of wine (whine?) bearing the name 'Ernesto and Hugo Gulag'* will be next up on the list of revolutionary products.




*Not intended to be confused with Ernest and Julio Gallo...any resemblance in name is incidental and any resemblance to wine/taste hardly likely...your mileage may vary...contents may settle during shipment...etc., etc. etc.
 

Warren Peas

Perhaps a series of wine (whine?) bearing the name 'Ernesto and Hugo Gulag'* will be next up on the list of revolutionary products.

Sham-pain and Pee-note No-our are some of the wine varieties. Sorry, no See-rah, but Chard-on-nay is in hot and ready.
 

Tovarichi

John Boehner is marketing his own scent as well...
It smells like FEAR with undertone of weakness
And a delicate salty overlay of tears.
 

Someone has been able to bottle the scent of not showering?! Amazing!
 

No prog can afford to be without it. Many are calling it "instant street cred."
 

It's about the only thing you commies will have to drink, come the revolution.
 

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A little eau for us ladies...
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Comrade Red Square:

Excellent! I was looking for a specific smell that would perfectly accent my "Obey" designer clothes. Does it come in extra soiled scent ?

 

Comrade Putout

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A little eau for us ladies...

I'm honored, sincerely honored. Does this honor come with any "benefits"?
 

Dedhedvedev

Comrade Putout

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A little eau for us ladies...

I'm honored, sincerely honored. Does this honor come with any "benefits"?
You get Comrade Pinky as benefit.
 

Whats next, a toothpaste with the taste of a jackboot?
 

Subvet

Whats next, a toothpaste with the taste of a jackboot?
How did you know Comrade Subvet?
 

Subvet

Whats next, a toothpaste with the taste of a jackboot?

After a long day groveling under the boot, choose Party Approved "Jackboot Relief Throat Lozenges"™ - for the discerning comrade. (Stalin's favorite)
 

I think Captain Craptek was confused or misinformed when he

After a long day groveling under the boot, choose Party Approved "Jackboot Relief Throat Lozenges"™ - for the discerning comrade. (Stalin's favorite)

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Are you sure about that, Captain Craptek?!
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Hammer and Loupe

Subvet

Whats next, a toothpaste with the taste of a jackboot?
How did you know Comrade Subvet?It's a talent I developed while watching episodes of "Lost" some years ago. I take the most ridiculous, unlikely scenario imaginable and then bet the farm it'll become reality. In our present day evolving People's Paradise I find it works every time!
 

Comrade Putout was still recovering from our fun weekend when she

I think Captain Craptek was confused or misinformed when he

After a long day groveling under the boot, choose Party Approved "Jackboot Relief Throat Lozenges"™ - for the discerning comrade. (Stalin's favorite)

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Are you sure about that, Captain Craptek?!
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Silly comrade - The great man wouldn't be caught dead with his hand on a Swiss capitalist's can.



 

Dear leaders can handling is to be emulated, following with serious handwashing....
 

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I've got my best man working on this, Tovarichi!
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Comrade Putout

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I've got my best man working on this, Tovarichi!
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best-man-working-on-this.jpg
Nice picture Comrade Putout, but what is your best man's name?
 

Hammer and Loupe was being coy and testing me when he

Nice picture Comrade Putout, but what is your best man's name?

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I see your point, sir!

The previous man is really my second best man... I will not break protocol by naming my very best man! (This is a PNG image...)
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Upon further inspection of the hand, I found a Michelle Ebola on it. Fearless Dear Leader told me the only way to get rid of it was more elaborate vacations. He was getting ready for his next Royal Hawaiian trip.

I am sure the humble natives are almost finished with the Grand Palace.