[img]/images/Jupiters_Red_Spot_Hashtag_Michelle.jpg[/img]

Comrades! We have a major crisis! It has come to my attention that Jupiter's giant red spot is shrinking! This incredible red spot is larger than Mother Earth, but if we don't do something NOW, it might become smaller than our moon - at which point Comrade Putin might want to colonize it.

It is obvious, comrades, that the giant red spot is shrinking because of Gaia/Mother Earth's collective carbon footprint. The fault lies not with Gaia, but with us, humans, whose energy use is creating problems out in the People's Solar System™ and causing all kinds of red spots to shrink.

Dear Leader simply must ban electricity by decree for all except a select few cronies. The use of cars, trucks, and all other gas or diesel powered engines must also be banned. Forget tolling interstate highways; just close them. All manufacturing must come to an end as well.

If Dear Leader is too soft and benevolent to just outright ban them, he can tax them into oblivion. He can then say "If you like your energy use, you can keep your energy use. Period." You just will have to pay through the nose for it, beyond what you already do. Dear Leader will put that money to good use flying around to every golf course in the country, flying to every climate change disruption global warming global cooling Jupiter's red spot shrinking whatever the Current Truth™ says it is conference, or simply going on vacation.

Comrades, saving the giant red spot requires shared sacrifice! Everyone must do their fair share! What would Jupiter look like without it? It would be so totally unrecognizable that someone might look out that way and say they discovered a new planet! We can't have that, comrades!

I realize Dear Leader is very busy with important priorities like campaigning for Senators, golf, parties with celebrities, bowing to fellow robots, making sure womyn get equal pay except in his cabinet and departments, ending racism, eliminating the gap between the rich and the poor, and many other things. But this must be his absolute top priority!

Should we start a foundation with highly paid prog executives to save the spot? We would need to apply for largesse a big government grant to do this. Where should we hold our parties? What about a change.org petition? What about the merchandising effort? Mailings to all the Peoples™ of the world? Mailings to "Current resident" on Mars and other planets?

How else can we waste spend money? Should we put checks in each mailing for $2.50 and ask that people return the check in the stamped envelope we provide and give us an even bigger donation? Should we hire a telemarketing firm to call people at dinner time and late at night to do a poll on the red spot like if they were even informed enough to know it exists and ask for donations to save it?

What other things would you tax or outright ban to save the giant red spot? Anything you don't like and want to stop The People™ from doing? Be creative. Remember, this is a historic opportunity we might not get again. "Never let a good crisis go to waste," to quote our dearest Comrade Rahmbo.

Just as a city uses the coming of the People's Olympics to waste a lot of money get a lot of projects done that they otherwise couldn't, we should do the same with the incredible shrinking red spot.

Comrade Vlad, I'm puzzled. Why have you overlooked the obvious? Yes, Current Truth™ says the red spot is shrinking, and why? Not enough "REDNESS." Solution--send "reds."

Do we have a Space Program to facilitate this? Nyet. We had one, but they are making our Mooslimic comrades feel good about themselves. The Russians have BOTH a space program, and a supply of disloyal communists and separatists! (We can assist by rolling in the population of the "red states" in the USSA, the indigenous persons of Oklahoma, and that Football team with the offensive name that drafted RGIII)

SOLUTION: instead of re-labeling dissidents into criminals and sending them to a Gulag never to be heard from again, we make them KOSMONAUT/Colonists, and ship them one way to JUPITER!

We tax the rich and corporations once per expedition, replenish the red spot, reduce our own carbon footprint (and beet quotas!), and we don't have to listen to their nonsense anymore!




Next problem? Anyone?

The shrinking eye is only the latest anomaly to be noticed on The People's planet of Jupiter. Back in 2010 NASA reported the mysterious disappearance of Jupiter's belt! What's next comrades - Orion's G-string? Pack your belongings and head for higher ground!


NASA - May 20, 2010: In a development that has transformed the appearance of the solar system's largest planet, one of Jupiter's two main cloud belts has completely disappeared.

"This is a big event," says planetary scientist Glenn Orton of NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. "We're monitoring the situation closely and do not yet fully understand what's going on."Known as the South Equatorial Belt (SEB), the brown cloudy band is twice as wide as Earth and more than twenty times as long. The loss of such an enormous "stripe" can be seen with ease halfway across the solar system.

"In any size telescope, or even in large binoculars, Jupiter's signature appearance has always included two broad equatorial belts," says amateur astronomer Anthony Wesley of Australia. "I remember as a child seeing them through my small backyard refractor and it was unmistakable. Anyone who turns their telescope on Jupiter at the moment, however, will see a planet with only one belt--a very strange sight."

Comrades Comrades, we need to relax a bit and smell the perfume on Russian females persons mammals. All of this hocus pocus and planetary slight of hand is making us all paranoid. As a matter of fact, yesterday I was so paranoid from this news, I thought the people walking a block in front of me were actually following me, they were just taking the long route. So lets relax and take in the wonders all around us, shall we?

Relax, if Jupiter's red spot is shrinking, it simply means the communist party there getting smaller. Obama will simply go home for a visit, reanimate some dead communists, the red spot will begin growing again and all will be well.

Captain Craptek wrote:
"In any size telescope, or even in large binoculars, Jupiter's signature appearance has always included two broad equatorial belts," says amateur astronomer Anthony Wesley of Australia. "I remember as a child seeing them through my small backyard refractor and it was unmistakable. Anyone who turns their telescope on Jupiter at the moment, however, will see a planet with only one belt--a very strange sight."

You think THAT'S scary, just wait 'til Jupiter takes off the other belt and his pants fall down!

Comrades, with a planet as big as Jupiter, size matters.

Comrades, most equal and worthy suggestions. I think it would take care of two problems at once: saving Jupiter's red spot and removing a problem for Dear Leader...the bitter clingers that inhabit red states. However, now that we see that Jupiter has lost its belt, we will probably need to take from red counties in blue states as well in order to replace the red.

However, this brings up a new problem. If red is the color of hot and we make things more red on Jupiter, even if just to put things back the way they were, are we contributing to solar system warming/solar system climate change/solar system climate disruption?

As to Dear Leader going to Jupiter, I thought he was from Mars as Mars is "the red planet"? But I'm sure he could go to Jupiter as well and wake the dead communists. Afterall, he managed to wake the dead and get them to come out and vote for him in all of his elections.

Comrades, consider the source: some "conservative" byte.com. Well, byte me: they call it a "red spot" so they can say it is getting smaller with the implication being less red is good. Well, in Truth™, as anyone who can see will be told by the MSM, this is a brown spot, a celestial skid-mark if you will, which is only hoping and changing for the better, as shown in these telescopic images produced by independent astronomers using superior telescopes produced after massive infusions of guvmint "loans" to start-up green astronomy companies who just happen to be 0bummer 0bama supporters.

The heavens await Next Tuesday™, and just as soon as NASA satisfies the mooslimics that they are great, the agency will require massive redistributions funding to bring Next Tuesday™ to the stars beyond Hollywoods

Two words: Plant Beets

No more ring around the collar planet? Must have been old-style detergent before EPA regulations eliminated cleansing agents.

I took the liberty of illustrating this people's editorial with a lead image and a hashtag.

Notice how the First Lady's background matches the color scheme of Jupiter? Any comrade within the median income bracket should be able to imitate this subtle display of solidarity with the shrinking Giant Red Spot and decorate their own living room using the same color scheme.

Comrades!

Show your solidarity with the Giant Red Spot by Tweeting #BringBackOurGIantRedSpot hashtag or by decorating your living room with a “Jupiter” color scheme!

RedDiaperette wrote:No more ring around the collar planet? Must have been old-style detergent before EPA regulations eliminated cleansing agents.

We should first determine if this is a blue-collar planet or a white-collar planet. We should make it our priority to save middle-class planets, while also creating opportunities for minority planets and asteroids to rotate comfortably along their orbits without the fear of sequestration, climate disruptions, or polar vortexes.

And, most importantly, stop the war on female planets!

(Click on the image to blow it up)

[/url]

Red Square wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:No more ring around the collar planet? Must have been old-style detergent before EPA regulations eliminated cleansing agents.

We should first determine if this is a blue-collar planet or a white-collar planet. We should make it our priority to save middle-class planets, while also creating opportunities for minority planets and asteroids to rotate comfortably along their orbits without the fear of sequestration, climate disruptions, or polar vortexes.

And, most importantly, stop the war on female planets!

(Click on the image to blow it up)

Planet_Hillary_Sm.jpg

[/url]

Comrades, is it fair for Saturn to have many rings?

Red Square wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:No more ring around the collar planet? Must have been old-style detergent before EPA regulations eliminated cleansing agents.

We should first determine if this is a blue-collar planet or a white-collar planet. We should make it our priority to save middle-class planets, while also creating opportunities for minority planets and asteroids to rotate comfortably along their orbits without the fear of sequestration, climate disruptions, or polar vortexes.

And, most importantly, stop the war on female planets!

[highlight=#ffff00](Click on the image to blow it up)[/highlight]

Planet_Hillary_Sm.jpg

[/url]

Boo hoo, I am disappointed. I clicked on the image but it failed to detonate.

One planet in particular is the most gassy...

Jupiter. Who needs it anyway? Much too big. I demand that it's Mass and gravity be redistributed to the downtrodden Massless masses! Equal Gravity for all planets!

One percent of planets holding ninety nine percent of the mass in the solar system

Thought Sheriff wrote:One percent of planets holding ninety nine percent of the mass in the solar system

Untitled.png

Not if you included Moochelle's ass.. mass.

I demand the Free Distribution of Higgs Bosons to each planet according to it's needs!