University Of North Carolina Diversity Workshop Brands Beige Band-Aids As ‘White Privilege'

Take a stance, comrades! Persons of color with either a cut, an owie, or a boo-boo who do not have access to expensive Ebon-aid tinted bandages are demeaned by being forced to wear bandages colored for their white oppressors! This forces undeserved attention to the fact that the person of color has injured themselves.

Crayola is next!

"Cultural appropriation" means; You appropriate my Band-Aid™ color, I appropriate your hair style! So there! Na, na, na, na, naaaaa, naaaaaaaaaaaa!!

It doesn't stop there. Their shame has no bounds. Can someone please explain to me why Disney partnered with Johnson & Johnson (Monopolistic caucasoids at their worst) and had no qualms about depicting an anthropomorphic rodent of color in whiteface? Take what's good, appropriate and bastardize, that's what they do.

Glorious comrade Stakhanovets! You are right to point out this ridiculous form of Bourgeois Racism.

Henceforth, by decree of the Praesidium, the only approved method of wound care will be "scorching with gunpowder" ™, as demonstrated below by comrade Rambo:

This People Approved and Korrekt wound care has the added advantage of turning the vicious and perfidious Bourgeois white meat into the politically Korrekter black, scorched meat. (If done less rigorous, it turns the meat red, which is at least slightly better than white).

Minitrue wrote:Glorious comrade Stakhanovets! You are right to point out this ridiculous form of Bourgeois Racism.

Henceforth, by decree of the Praesidium, the only approved method of wound care will be "scorching with gunpowder" ™, as demonstrated below by comrade Rambo:

macho_men_slide_show-slide-1.jpg

This People Approved and Korrekt wound care has the added advantage of turning the vicious and perfidious Bourgeois white meat into the politically Korrekter black, scorched meat. (If done less rigorous, it turns the meat red, which is at least slightly better than white).

I DENOUNCE YOU! Gunpowder was invented by the Chinese, therefore for any other cultures to use it is cultural appropriation! If you get any cuts and you aren't Chinese, the only thing you get is dirt. Not even water, what about those poor people living in landlocked countries, how do you think they feel about not having a coastline?

Minitrue wrote:
...vicious and perfidious Bourgeois white meat into the politically Korrekter black...

Comrade Minitrue,

When I was a young pioneer, before the time MTE was in a position to further a Gaia nurturing narrative, it was my dream to labor in the coal pits. Time and again, I pleaded with the Collective™ to honor me to with this task. My mind was docile and my back strong so naturally I was perplexed when my queries fell silent. It was only after many years had past the Truth™ was revealed. There was a shortage of fresh water (A noxious legacy of unenlightened times) and the regimen of infrequent bathing could be construed as cultural appropriation. I've said it once and it bears repeating – the Truth™ has no expiration date unless it is abrogated by something better. In my mind's eye your suggestion deserves a place in the Biomass Repurposing Bin Thought Box Cube.

Reflexively Compliant,
Comrade Biff

[ PROG OFF ]

Color band aids seem to be a great free-market opportunity to make a fortune by creating band aids in various shades of darker skin, which people can pick to match their own shade. I guess if most of the people who designed band aids were white, it didn't occur to them that there may be demand for other colors.

Those who complain about the wrong colors could put their energy to a better use if they started a coloring band aids business and make many other people happy while also earning themselves lots of money in the process. Isn't this how the free markets work?

Instead, they only demand that others do something to accommodate their differences. Just like in the situation above, it didn't occur to them that they could do it themselves.

Now stop whining and do something, or you'll be on the next cover of Poor Me magazine.

ECONOMIC NEWSREEL!!!

From the Kubist factories a new consumer good is hereby created:

The People's Duct Tape Sterile Band Aid


Matches the color of all known human races and other sentient species (including Galgameks).

Warning: only to be applied whent the Korrekt Gunpowder Method is unavailable. May cause hairloss in squirrels.

Body hair shows the nurse where to put adhesive tape...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Body hair shows the nurse where to put adhesive tape...

There must be more places. How about your back comrade?

Steady there, comrade... I'm saving myself for Putout.

Red Square wrote:[ PROG OFF ]

Color band aids seem to be a great free-market opportunity to make a fortune by creating band aids in various shades of darker skin, which people can pick to match their own shade. I guess if most of the people who designed band aids were white, it didn't occur to them that there may be demand for other colors.

Those who complain about the wrong colors could put their energy to a better use if they started a coloring band aids business and make many other people happy while also earning themselves lots of money in the process. Isn't this how the free markets work?

Instead, they only demand that others do something to accommodate their differences. Just like in the situation above, it didn't occur to them that they could do it themselves.

Now stop whining and do something, or you'll be on the next cover of Poor Me magazine.

No sooner said than done!

PRESTO:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Steady there, comrade... I'm saving myself for Putout.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Body hair shows the nurse where to put adhesive tape...

Feel free to use my new lawn mower.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Steady there, comrade... I'm saving myself for Putout.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Body hair shows the nurse where to put adhesive tape...

Feel free to use my new lawn mower.

He needs a hedge trimmer! An electric turkey knife! I've heard of not shaving, but this gentleman is blurring the line between human and monkey! Somebody, anybody, please give this man a trim! I'm sure his wife doesn't like being married to a piece of steel wool.

For the Children™

Prog Off

Dear Roseate Post-Modern Platonic Solid (yeah, I know, I'm reaching, but it's still sorta funny)

Since I've been waiting over four years for our miracle of socialized medicine to do me the honour of breaking my back in two places and then bodge it back together with a bunch of titanium (apparently, adamantium exists only in comic books... boy was I bummed), and I'm reaching the point where I may sell one of my kidneys, and a large lobe of my surprisingly pristine liver to pay for the operation elsewhere, could you please make some jaundiced coloured Band-Aids for me? Perhaps a range of yellows in each box, as I fail to clean the garbage our of my bloodstream more and more?...

Also, it may be the meds or the lack of sleep, but I feel like we've missed a "the new white meat" joke here....

Just saying,
SMO

PS... what about tinted baby powder?

Minitrue wrote:ECONOMIC NEWSREEL!!!

From the Kubist factories a new consumer good is hereby created:

The People's Duct Tape Sterile Band Aid

Matches the color of all known human races and other sentient species (including Galgameks).

Warning: only to be applied whent the Korrekt Gunpowder Method is unavailable. May cause hairloss in squirrels.

And to think, I was jazzed when I found camo Duct tape!

Also, re: the gunpowder, isn't that what super glue is for? Also, also... boil a darning needle, and some polyester thread, and soak it in vodka for 5 minutes. It hurts like a MFer, but chicks dig scars.

I'm actually serious.

Captain Craptek wrote:"Cultural appropriation" means; You appropriate my Band-Aid™ color, I appropriate your hair style! So there! Na, na, na, na, naaaaa, naaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Captain Craptek,

Finally, a voice of reason from enlightened EurAsia -

“To understand the preciousness of communities and their territory - the flair, the clothes, the hair - is to recognise the struggle which comes with looking that way.”


Cultural appropriation: From dreadlocks to keffiyehs – don't mimic cultures you don't understand


Hopelessly Oblivious,
Comrade Biff