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Hillary Clinton Converts to Islam to Run for President

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Dear Comrades,

To affirm the USSA's commitment to Islamic Socialism in the Middle East through the establishment of a Islamic Socialist Caliphate, as well as demonstrate her loyalty to the Socialist Democratic Party, Comrade Commissarka Hillary Hughovna Clinton has converted to Islam so as to become America's first Muslim presidential candidate.

Commissarka Clinton has been instrumental in the Party's successful support of Islamic Socialism throughout the Middle East, from Libya to Syria. Now, with the renewed need of the Free Syrian Army to receive both armaments and encouragement, our heroic Comrade Hillary has offered herself, and through her the entire USSA, submission to Islam.

Though the Party eschews all religion in terms of actual theism, true Socialism embraces those aspects of religion which are compatible with revolutionary principles, such as centralization and the enforcement of obedience. Islam scores high on these elements, which are necessary in order for the State to implement its progressive goals of a centralized economy under the control of the Proletariat through the organs of the Party. Islamic nations, which bear many of these features, provide the world with the proper venue for a Nomads' Paradise of Socialism and equal enforcement of Sharia.

Comrade Clinton, on the steps of the National Cathedral shortly after the Supreme People's Court ruling in support of gay marriage, is shown in the photo below reciting the Shahada, “There is not God but Allah, and Mohammed is the Prophet of Marx.” Afterwards, she met with gay activists celebrating the court's decision at a wine and cheese party.

To help her cope with the new demands of her new religion along with her many Party duties, Comrade Hillary plans to use her Blackberry to attend Mosque much as Comrade B. B. Obama uses his to attend church.

Comrades, let us all chant, “There is not God but Allah, and Mohammed is the Prophet of Marx”!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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Comrade Climber, this is SPLENDID news! Dear Hillary will be ever so much more presentable in a full burka!

Before:

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After:

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Am I right or am I right left?

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Hillary reciting ShaNaNa? Impossible. They are Columbia University hippies from the streets of New York. They like gold lamé, leather jackets, and pompadours with ducktail hairdos. ShaNaNa does song and dance classics of the fifties - rock and roll. NoNoNo. You must be mistaken, comrade.

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Good move on her park, now that it's socially unacceptable to even think a bad thought about anyone who may be or look like a Muslim. By 2015 it will be a federal law to feel anything but mind-numbing overt love for Muslims so no one will be allowed to run any negative ads about her.

Hillary professes her faith

With all due respect, the fact is that there is no God but Allah. What difference, at this point, does it make if Mohammed is his Prophet?

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Hillary has learned her moves from Flat Fatima, with a little help from her friends.

Below are a couple of outtakes from that training session.

[img]/images/Hillary_Flat_Fatima.jpg[/img]

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PUTOUT! Alert from the front! Our troops require 1 Easy-Edit Flat Hillary right away! And don't you dare be sighing like Hillary does!

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[color=#C0392B]Comrade Stierlitz[/color] had a great idea when he wrote:PUTOUT! Alert from the front! Our troops require 1 Easy-Edit Flat Hillary right away! And don't you dare be sighing like Hillary does!

Well that is just rude to our Dear Red Square!

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Comrade Putout wrote:
[color=#C0392B]Comrade Stierlitz[/color] had a great idea when he wrote:PUTOUT! Alert from the front! Our troops require 1 Easy-Edit Flat Hillary right away! And don't you dare be sighing like Hillary does!

Well that is just rude to our Dear Red Square!

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Rude? Red's job is to sit around, drink vodka, and direct us towards the glorious cliff of communism. Your seemingly self-appointed job is to produce the advanced forms of agitprop for communal use and abuse. If I were to ask him to do it that'd be putting unnecessary stress on him which could lead to a longer trip to the cliff.

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I think [color=#C0392B]Comrade Stierlitz[/color] was a bit confused when he wrote:Rude? Red's job is to sit around, drink vodka, and direct us towards the glorious cliff of communism. Your seemingly self-appointed job is to produce the advanced forms of agitprop for communal use and abuse. If I were to ask him to do it that'd be putting unnecessary stress on him which could lead to a longer trip to the cliff.

I meant that Hillary was rude to play Red Square'shead like a conga!

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Comrade Putout wrote:
I meant that Hillary was rude to play Red Square'shead like a conga!


I didn't see him! I'm used to him being front-and-center, as in agitprop, not off to the side!



 
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