Image

I Denounce Commissarka Pinkie!

User avatar
In fact, I question if "Pinkie" even exists.

Consider what I am calling facts comrades.

Who has seen "Pinkie"? Oh we have all seen the flash of a shovel, and woken up with cracked skulls and empty pockets. Maxim keeps getting Beet of The Week(TM) and Pupovich gets hassled at irregular intervals by this "Pinkie" person. But my Red Guard Investigative Squad and Junior Detective League(TM) have been unable to bring me much proof of "Pinkie's" existence. (Although the ones that made it back all had shovel sized dents in their heads).

Who has seen Pinkie? We see pictures of a pleasantly beet shaped female comrade with a vodka tinted nose, but is this Pinkie, or simply your average female comrade?

Often in Party meetings, one only sees a gold plated shovel, a plate of chocolates and a glass of vodka where "Pinkie" is supposed to sit.

Many questions, many dented heads (mine included!) but few answers comrades.

The investigation continues!

User avatar
Commissar, have you considered this well? Do you really want to meet Pinkie?

Add this to your evidence, comrade.
Exhibit A: Bambi meets Godzilla
Bambi: Colonel 7.62
Godzilla: Pinkie


User avatar
Hrmmm new and powerful evidence indeed. I shall have to rethink some of my claims (and execute some spies).

And get a bigger helmet.

User avatar
Comrade, I must ask you if you are feeling OK. Pinkie Swings a mean shovel. Did you eat some bad beets?

My GoonsHighly trained troopers who are in reality too stupid to know what fear is, have been known to run screaming like little girls, at just the sight of Pinkie.

Colonel, you need a vacation, go to the peoples republic of Cuba, hide....errrr Vacation awhile.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

User avatar
I can personally vouch for the reality that is Pinkie, following a wild night of passion that involved much alcohol and sloshing of jar fluids. And a bucket of lukewarm custard, several yards of surgical stocking material and a man with a very large mallet. I am not one to kiss and tell, comrades, (and we both swore to never speak of that night again) but I have not been able to walk straight since.

User avatar
Colonel, perhaps you need to revisit this thread and do some scrolling:

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewt ... 7271#57271

Yes, what you need right now is a good purgative: A naked, sweaty Rosie O'Donnell, coupled with the Obamagasms of Mark Morford.

Would someone please explain to Comrade 7.62, once and for all, that no one has ever walked out of here unassisted and under their own steam, much less on their own two feet or even on all fours, after trying to denounce Pinkie?

Or, I can just whack you with my shovel. The choice is yours.

User avatar
It was not me who posted this! Rather, it was Inner Comrade #37, the one the rest of the Inner Comrades call "Death Wish". Trust me Pinkie, in my right mind, I would never question your existence. 'Twas merely someone else. Perhaps I should lay off on the fudge and mint covered beets soaked in vodka.

User avatar
Comrade colonel, even I, an 11th degree sistema master, am cautious about tempting Pinkie's shovel. Perhaps you were looking for a posthumous Nobel prize?

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Perhaps I should lay off on the fudge and mint covered beets soaked in vodka.

Yes, perhaps you should. Because those are MINE!

Do you hear me?

MINE!!!

WHACK!!!

Tell me, Colonel, do you perchance have a crush on me? That is, opposed to the kind of crush the business end of my shovel has on you at this moment? Yelling Yelena once told me that being denounced by a male comrade is his way of flirting with me and letting me know that he likes me, because he's too shy to get my attention via other means.

My fellow comrades: Is that true, or is it just another old babushkas' tale? Do I never get denounced because you all fear me so much you can't control your bladders, or because none of you are interested in me "that way"?

What's going on here, Colonel? Do you have a little thing for me? Or are you just hoping to get your grubby paws on my beets?

Did you think you could charm and seduce me into giving you Beet of the Week, hmm, Colonel? Is that what this is all about?

User avatar
I have never once received "Beet of the Week" yet I am humbly happy with my Hero Dog status.

Is 7.62 a malcontent?
A "Debbie Downer"?
A "Socialist Slacker"?

User avatar
I denounce Colonel 7.62/Inner Comrade#37 for denouncing Pinkie! Colonel, are you looking to host a door kicking party? If so, may I remind you to file the appropriate paperwork for "party favors" in a timely manner, within the normal Party-Approved time continuum. Failure to do so will result in involuntary vacation to a very warm, iron sided room at the Peoples Power&Gas&Soylent Green processing facility.

Comrade Turnitoff
Sturmhauptfuhrer of Thoughtcrime Kriminalpolizei (Reichssicherheitshauptamt Division)
Deputy Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight

User avatar
LAIKA!

Hero Space Dog, Friend of the People! For all you are and all you do, I am appalled that you've never received Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award!

We shall have to correct this oversight at once. Congratulations! For you, Laika . . .

Image Plus a bumper sticker for your mom's crate or carrier:

Image Additionally, you get a free coupon good at any Pup's Party Pleasure Palace (blackout dates and some restrictions apply). Please note coupons--like everything else associated with this highly coveted, rarely bestowed award--are non-transferable.

Now, it's Friday night. Go out and do some howling, my canine comrade!

Meanwhile, I intend to find out (and duly whack with my shovel) whoever's responsible for this oversight. Someone jammed your transmissions. Someone who probably did so by tinkering and tampering with the time-space continuum, thus creating a warp and even a possible paradox.

Someone named Colonel 7.62.

User avatar
Colonel 7.62, it looks like Pinkie called your bluff and raised you a shovel. I suspect it was a whack you were hankering for when you cast your denouncement in the first place. Clever lad.

Pinkie, what red blooded Red doesn't have a soft spot in his heart for you (not to mention the back of his head)?

Comrade Nietzsche said "All men want two things, danger and diversion, That's why real men desire women, for they are the most dangerous of playthings."

User avatar
Not only was it an errant Inner Comrade(TM) who did all of this, it was a comrade from another dimension! Yes, that is it. An interdimensional inner comrade. Look! We have a whole new area of progressive thinking to study. Can these trans dimensional inner comrades register a vote? Can they get welfare checks? Can they go to ACORN and try to buy a whorehouse? What a glorious discovery.

Meanwhile I find I can shift Pinkie's whacks to another dimension as well.

Pinkie, this is the "normal" 7.62, I won't apologize for one of my trans dimensional inner comrades, as apologies are not progressive, unless speaking on behalf of AmeriKKKa to the rest of the world, but I would think I've got some weird extenuating circumstances here, eh?

And look! Mint fudge covered vodka soaked beets, AND a two liter bottle of Kalashnikov Vodka. Yours I assume?

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:In fact, I question if "Pinkie" even exists.

Consider what I am calling facts comrades.

Who has seen "Pinkie"? Oh we have all seen the flash of a shovel, and woken up with cracked skulls and empty pockets. Maxim keeps getting Beet of The Week(TM) and Pupovich gets hassled at irregular intervals by this "Pinkie" person. But my Red Guard Investigative Squad and Junior Detective League(TM) have been unable to bring me much proof of "Pinkie's" existence. (Although the ones that made it back all had shovel sized dents in their heads).

Who has seen Pinkie? We see pictures of a pleasantly beet shaped female comrade with a vodka tinted nose, but is this Pinkie, or simply your average female comrade?

Often in Party meetings, one only sees a gold plated shovel, a plate of chocolates and a glass of vodka where "Pinkie" is supposed to sit.

Many questions, many dented heads (mine included!) but few answers comrades.

The investigation continues!

I must concur Comrade, and this shovel phenomena she has started has gotten way out of hand. I got a call from the PETA folks, seems they are interested in finding out who got this shovel stuff started ... seems there are numerous copycats and emulators out there.


User avatar
I think Pinkie could use a new shovel, especially with all the dents she has collected along the way. I just happened to pick this one up at an Army Surplus Store. It dates back to the Carter days and was once purchased by the Army for $8,000.00.

Hope you like it Comrade Pinkie. It appears to be gold-plated and dent resistant. All the better for whacking.

Image


 
POST REPLY